Do you ever get over sexual abuse?

i was sexualy abused by my brother 7 years ago
i feel i will never get over it i lock myself in my room everynight and cry myself to sleep
ive never had a real relatonship because of this i cant trust no one
i told my family and the police no one believe's me

Sadly your case is all too familiar. It becomes a situation of your word against his, and all too often the family and the police etc. do not want to believe that a brother could not do something so vile to his own sister; so they close their minds and decide it's easier to believe the victim is lying.

I AM SO SORRY THIS HAPPENED TO YOU, AND IF IT HELPS I BELIEVE YOU.

Okay, what do you do next? First you find "The Rape Support" hotline in your area. You can get a referral to them via Planned Parenthood, or any Pride Center or The Suicide Hotline or any other group who reach out to help people in PAIN.......

You are looking for a SUPPORT GROUP for SURVIVORS OF RAPE. Please take my word for this. You can get some of the best validation and help from these groups of women and men who are in a similar situation as YOU. They will listen, tell their stories, and explain how they reclaimed their lives. Who better than another rape survivor to give you advice. These centers or support groups often offer some one on one counseling as well. There you can really vent your anger, frustration, and any other feelings you may not wish to share with the group AS YET.

Think how good it would feel if one day, you could be reaching out to help a rape survivor, like yourself. Imagine how good you'd feel about yourself...... being FREE of your fear, loneliness, frustration, and anger, so much that you're able to comfort someone else. Your first step is to reach out to that helping hand yourself.

It's been seven years and while you remain frozen in time, your rapist has apparently moved on with his miserable life (Again, take my word for it, regardless of how he behaves; he is NOT a "happy man.")

Now go and find your own peace. Get into a support group of your true peers, and let them reach out to you and show you that YOU ARE NOT ALONE. Listening to their stories and telling your own is the first step toward healing. YOU CAN DRAW STRENGTH FROM THIS SUPPORT GROUP, AND SOON FIND YOURSELF TAKING SMALL STEPS BACK TO YOUR PRE-RAPE ENJOYMENT OF LIFE, AS WELL AS YOUR HOPES AND DREAMS.

I sincerely wish you the best of luck.

Please write when you can and keep us updated on how you're doing, and any progress you've made..

It has been 14 yrs. and i still want to cry every time i trun around. But then there are so many thing i dont know which to work on first. Should i try to for give the men first or the one that allowed it to happen for so long. What i mean by long is ten years, starting from when i was 4 1/2 years old. I have tried everything. Antidepressants help but i dont want to have to use them for the rest of my life. As of right now i have to or my marriage will end, i really dont want it to my husand is such a wonderful man he has been there for me anytime i need him, put up with my anger for ten years now and loved me through it all. It is because of our little girl and him that i feel it is best for me to make this change cause they do not desever to get yelled at for no reason, it is not them that did me anything. This is the short version.

I 40 years old and i am a male and i am still messed up because of what happen to me when i was a child. I have never recovered from it. It is so damaging. However Mike Lew workshop for Men has helped a bit but i still have long way to go.

Oh I so feel you. I keep trying to figure out all that is wrong with me. I am raising a 10 yr old boy and as a mother I am supposed to be his 1st positive representation to women and I feel that I am failing badly even though everyone else says I am doing an excellent job because he appears to be turning out normal. But even he is baffled by my moods at times and he still tries to figure it out and he shouldn't have to. His only job is to be a kid and mine is to be there for him and protect him so he doesn't have to fight the mental and emotional mess that comes from dirty people taking advantage of a child's trust.

I was sexually abused when I was in late elementary school (I can't remember my exact age...or grade I have tried very very very hard to remember that part) for about 1-2 years...I am now 21...jr. in college and studying engineering...to the normal eye...i look normal. But what people don't see is how i try to find childhood pictures before i was abused and wonder what it was like to feel normal and innocent. I still blame myself...because at some times i pretty much asked for it wanting to participate...where in others i felt an out of body experience and numb...i felt like i couldn't move...and completely helpless. I felt completely exposed while he observed and "played" with my body. Wanting to know how every touch felt...He would be on the computer and then randomly come down and touch me...forced me to put my mouth on his penis and forced my head up and down showing me how to do it right... A few years later...I had unexplained moments of rage...where I would get caught up in finally feeling like I had control of something...thank god I never hurt anyone or anything. I was defiantly not in the right state of mind and could have. It came to middle school where i was suffering depression and couldn't figure out why exactly...I was having home problems but still...i knew there was more...then all of a sudden I remembered everything out of no where.I told my councilor one day...(I had been working with him for a while with home issues...with how i wanted to run away)....he didn't believe me and thought i was just making it up for attention. Ever since then I have always had a hard time talking about it...and always end up pushing the person away who is trying to help me. Sometimes little things come back here and there that i forgot. It affects my relationship where we have to stop durning sex....I am not confident at all about my body image...I fell out of control...one moment ill be happy...then little triggers that remind me of what happened and I will down a downward spiral...I thought it would get better over time...now it just gets worse...I need help...i don't want to be ilke this for the rest of my life

You should never ever blame yourself it wasn't your fault you were only a child. I would blame myself as well but as my counselor pointed out it wasn't my fault it was the perpetrator. I also have depression ever since i was a child and i put it down to the abuse the depression was only very mild but it got worse when i was older.



I suggest you go and see another counselor it might take sometime till you find one that you are comfortable with.

I must say that you never really GET OVER it but you can move on.... the thoughts of is happening begin to fade after time but there is damge there. I was molested by a man i knew and loved and look up to.... My father.  the pain is there but the biggest thing for me to ge over is learning hoe to trust men again. as ive gotten older people have strategically been placed in my life and taought me how to love again. I had to make up in my mind that i waned the power back that was taken from me. i never went to a true counselor but i did turn the church and its has helped. The crazy part about the whole experience was that i was a teeneger and a virgin when it happened and i truly believe that if that never happened to me i would not have went thru  a promiscuous period in my life...

Hi..i was 9 going on 10 when i was molested.I never really felt as hurt as now until i turned 13.I have told 2 friends from school and my boyfriend.He understands,but we constantly fight about it all the time cause i get so scared to kiss him or him to just touch my leg.My 2 friends know too.They both think letting it go would be good but its not as easy as they think.I feel so upset.Now,im 14 turning 15 in a few months and i get so embarrassed about it.I really wanna tell my parents or the cops but im too ashamed.I just think my mom would blame herself.And its terrible.My grandma is back with him.She always asks me why i dont want to go over but i just cant even drive by her house without having flashbacks.I have a deep gut feeling she knows about it but won't tell.My boyfriend wants me to tell but it hurts too bad.I mean what if he tried to do it again?Or they dont believe me cause it has been so long ago?Or I get into trouble?Or he tries to kill me?I just have know clue how to live....i cry long slow nights wishing it was easier and i could tell but its just not that easy to me.Sometimes i just wanna know what i did to ever deserve this.

Sorry..i just felt like this was important.

its not about getting over it . Its about accepting that it happened. I have been assulted more than once by different people and it was hard to understand . But now that it has been years since it has happened i can say honestly that i accept that it has happened. I will never get over it. I will never trust people like i use to . But i am a stronger women because of it. I was also told i was a liar and that it never happened. Which is very sad because i will always wonder how many other girls are going through i went through because someone didnt believe me. This world is a screwed up place to live in. But it does get some better. I promise to every girl that has posted . It gets better. i hope everyone on here finds the strength to get over this .. God bless you all ..

Reading some of the replys on here has helped me, i got sexually abused when i was about 4 until the age of 11 by my grandad whom i lived with and since then my family found it hard to deal with therefore told me not to go to the police and my own dad used it againts me to upset me, he has mental health problems and i have blocked most of it off, i know what happened but cant remember the details like i did when i was younger, i hope one day i can get over it, but i know i need to accept it and forgive to move on but its harder than i thought.

But im 19 now and have a nice relationship and have managed to fight through everything and carry on with my life as normal, i know it affects me sometimes bit over all i dont think about it that often so i think the best thing i did was to try and forget about it else if i bring all to the surface im worried it will send me insane!

If not then counselling or talking to someone will help, there is so much help out there for people who have been sexually abused.

People consistantly talk about molsetation and rape to me and its really awkward coming from a person who was really molested.It hurts because im too scared to tell my parents or the police.I wish i was strong enough to though.I feel like it haunts me because i cry about it allllllll the time.Hurts more than words can explain.

i was 10 or 11 when my best friends father started to abuse me touching kissing and ejaculating on me. im 49 now and it has affected my life in so many ways . i dont trust anyone and it is hard for me to have normal relations with my husband. i some times feel like a used product. i  am successful now with my own business, nice home and 2 bmws. but this still haunts me.

im unable to enjoy sex with out imagining that im getting forced into it, ive always felt like their was something wrong with me, and wondered if i would ever be able to have sex and enjoy it with out picturing it in my mind differently, i really thought i was alone on that...

i love your your thoughts but they are not for everybody i was a sexually abuse from the age of 5 until about 13 from to member of family even though they went into prison my mum still had them back still abused again even though social services were involved my doctor dosent even bother with me now nor does any bother else has my mum said get over it