From reading all of the posts on this board, and the board that got maxed out......I can only say I feel your pain.
Here's my story.......I was up to about 150/180 MGs of Hydro/OXY/Contin.....whatever I could get my hands on......a day.
I know this may seem tame to some folks who have went beyond that......but it was causing a real problem for me.
It went beyond getting the buzz.....it became like food that I needed to just feel normal. And to go above normal.....I had
to pop about 25/30 mgs and drink some beer to kick it in.
In the morning....I would wake up and puke......then get 20 MGs of Hydro.....crush them between a piece of paper to make
a B.C. power (quicker to the system).....and take that just to feel 'normal'......wasn't much buzz.....just wanted to feel normal.
I didn't get it from my Doctor.....I've had the same Doctor for about 10 years and you have to have a gaping wound or a severed limb
for this guy to prescribe opiates.......which is probably a good thing.....altho I used to get sooo pissed off at him. And I did not do the
'doctor shopping' or pain management thing. I probably could have......but they were so easy to get without a doctor.
I was buying mine on the street. And they were so easy to get. A friend of mine owns a popular bar.....and so many people
were doing them.....(most...not as bad as me).....they were easy to get. There are soooo many people.....old folks.....young folks...
foks that don't even do them......that know they can pay a 10 dollar copayment for these things and turn them on the street.
If I was running low......I would obsess about getting more......call all my opiate buddies.....go to the bar....trying to score...before
I ran out......because I knew the pain I would go thru if I ran out.....it had happened before.....I've been hooked like 7 or 8 years....and
had tried to quit before......unsuccessfully......usually/typically because in the 3rd/4th day of my self-imposed detox.....someone called
and had some opiates to get rid of......and me.....in my dopesickness......jumped all over it.
I would pay 5 bucks for a 10 MG hydro without blinking an eye. I have a good job.....but at the end.....I was spending $1200.00 a
month on this habit.
My daughter started college this year......and I was struggling to pay tuition.......simply because.....I was spending my money on my
pills. As I said.....I've tried to quit before.......(only when I ran out).....but at this point I just became totally disgusted with myself.
I had about 20 pills left.....(10 MG)........and I just told myself now was the time. One of my biggest problems was....that....whenever
there were some available opiates.....my opiate buddies would call me to see if I wanted some. I quit answering their calls.
I was angsting about the money I was spending......and, as I said, they got to be like food.....instead of fun.
I took a weeks vacation from work. (this is mandatory if you want to quit on your own). I got daytime and nighttime Nyquil. I
got Sudafed. Luckily I have a prescription for Klonapin. But while these can ease the pain.......the most important thing is the
time off......to suffer.......and sleep.......(when youre legs stop shaking). I also had some good pot.....which helped.
I scaled down from 150(plus) MGs a day to 30 a day. I was sick and miserable even with the 30 MGs. My system rebelled. I knew
it would be so easy to go to the pill bottle and pop another one or two but I had made up my mind to stop it at 30 MGs.
I spent my mornings throwing up.......did not bathe for 7 days.......spent the day on the couch......watching TV....taking NYQUIL, SUDAFED.....(these opiates really mess with your respiratory system).....10 MGs of hydro when I woke up (after I got thru puking)....
10 MGs 5 hours later......and the last 10 MGs another 5 hours later. I slept when my legs weren't twitching.....the Klonapin and pot
helped with that.
It was miserable. I did not leave my house for the first 5 days. I drank a lot, lot of water. After 5 days I was still dopesick....still
had some of the dizziness you experience when youre coming off of the stuff.......I had 5 pills left........on the 6 day I took 2.5....same
on the 7th day. Then I ran out.
I still had people calling......trying to offload opiates.......I did not answer the phone.
After 7 days.....having made it that far.....I was determined not to go back.......on the 9th day the dopesickness (to a great extent) went away and I was not getting the dizzy spells.
I was still on the bubble though and not feeling myself....although at this stage I did not really remember what 'myself' felt like.....
It took me about 15 days to start to feel myself and about 21 days to actually feel normal........where I had energy......
I have been clean for about 2 months now and am taking the calls from my opiate buddies and going to the bar.......I just say
no. Because I do not want to ever go thru this hell again.
In retrospect, I can't believe I was spending that much money on this c**p. I would say I will never take that c**p again....but
that would be a fools perspective. I know I do not want to.....so I take every day at a time. I get offered 'freebies' and sales at
the bar......I just say no.
I don't ever want to go thru this again.
I would tell anyone who is in the grip of this monster to get yourself in Rehab. I would have, but I felt that this was not an option for me. I live in a small town, with an elderly mother who depends on me for everything. She doesn't drive.....and I have to take care of her. That and the fact that I am a consultant for an IT company......and the IT company is all about billable hours.....made me take the self-rehab route. I could not leave my Mom without her support system (i'm all she has) and I was worried I would lose my job.
My heart goes out to anyone entangled in this montrous addiction.
Here's my story.......I was up to about 150/180 MGs of Hydro/OXY/Contin.....whatever I could get my hands on......a day.
I know this may seem tame to some folks who have went beyond that......but it was causing a real problem for me.
It went beyond getting the buzz.....it became like food that I needed to just feel normal. And to go above normal.....I had
to pop about 25/30 mgs and drink some beer to kick it in.
In the morning....I would wake up and puke......then get 20 MGs of Hydro.....crush them between a piece of paper to make
a B.C. power (quicker to the system).....and take that just to feel 'normal'......wasn't much buzz.....just wanted to feel normal.
I didn't get it from my Doctor.....I've had the same Doctor for about 10 years and you have to have a gaping wound or a severed limb
for this guy to prescribe opiates.......which is probably a good thing.....altho I used to get sooo pissed off at him. And I did not do the
'doctor shopping' or pain management thing. I probably could have......but they were so easy to get without a doctor.
I was buying mine on the street. And they were so easy to get. A friend of mine owns a popular bar.....and so many people
were doing them.....(most...not as bad as me).....they were easy to get. There are soooo many people.....old folks.....young folks...
foks that don't even do them......that know they can pay a 10 dollar copayment for these things and turn them on the street.
If I was running low......I would obsess about getting more......call all my opiate buddies.....go to the bar....trying to score...before
I ran out......because I knew the pain I would go thru if I ran out.....it had happened before.....I've been hooked like 7 or 8 years....and
had tried to quit before......unsuccessfully......usually/typically because in the 3rd/4th day of my self-imposed detox.....someone called
and had some opiates to get rid of......and me.....in my dopesickness......jumped all over it.
I would pay 5 bucks for a 10 MG hydro without blinking an eye. I have a good job.....but at the end.....I was spending $1200.00 a
month on this habit.
My daughter started college this year......and I was struggling to pay tuition.......simply because.....I was spending my money on my
pills. As I said.....I've tried to quit before.......(only when I ran out).....but at this point I just became totally disgusted with myself.
I had about 20 pills left.....(10 MG)........and I just told myself now was the time. One of my biggest problems was....that....whenever
there were some available opiates.....my opiate buddies would call me to see if I wanted some. I quit answering their calls.
I was angsting about the money I was spending......and, as I said, they got to be like food.....instead of fun.
I took a weeks vacation from work. (this is mandatory if you want to quit on your own). I got daytime and nighttime Nyquil. I
got Sudafed. Luckily I have a prescription for Klonapin. But while these can ease the pain.......the most important thing is the
time off......to suffer.......and sleep.......(when youre legs stop shaking). I also had some good pot.....which helped.
I scaled down from 150(plus) MGs a day to 30 a day. I was sick and miserable even with the 30 MGs. My system rebelled. I knew
it would be so easy to go to the pill bottle and pop another one or two but I had made up my mind to stop it at 30 MGs.
I spent my mornings throwing up.......did not bathe for 7 days.......spent the day on the couch......watching TV....taking NYQUIL, SUDAFED.....(these opiates really mess with your respiratory system).....10 MGs of hydro when I woke up (after I got thru puking)....
10 MGs 5 hours later......and the last 10 MGs another 5 hours later. I slept when my legs weren't twitching.....the Klonapin and pot
helped with that.
It was miserable. I did not leave my house for the first 5 days. I drank a lot, lot of water. After 5 days I was still dopesick....still
had some of the dizziness you experience when youre coming off of the stuff.......I had 5 pills left........on the 6 day I took 2.5....same
on the 7th day. Then I ran out.
I still had people calling......trying to offload opiates.......I did not answer the phone.
After 7 days.....having made it that far.....I was determined not to go back.......on the 9th day the dopesickness (to a great extent) went away and I was not getting the dizzy spells.
I was still on the bubble though and not feeling myself....although at this stage I did not really remember what 'myself' felt like.....
It took me about 15 days to start to feel myself and about 21 days to actually feel normal........where I had energy......
I have been clean for about 2 months now and am taking the calls from my opiate buddies and going to the bar.......I just say
no. Because I do not want to ever go thru this hell again.
In retrospect, I can't believe I was spending that much money on this c**p. I would say I will never take that c**p again....but
that would be a fools perspective. I know I do not want to.....so I take every day at a time. I get offered 'freebies' and sales at
the bar......I just say no.
I don't ever want to go thru this again.
I would tell anyone who is in the grip of this monster to get yourself in Rehab. I would have, but I felt that this was not an option for me. I live in a small town, with an elderly mother who depends on me for everything. She doesn't drive.....and I have to take care of her. That and the fact that I am a consultant for an IT company......and the IT company is all about billable hours.....made me take the self-rehab route. I could not leave my Mom without her support system (i'm all she has) and I was worried I would lose my job.
My heart goes out to anyone entangled in this montrous addiction.
I'm in your very boat. Same answer for back issues and just wish the doc would've made the addiction VERY clear and what was to come of me when not needing nor wanting to rly on pills for relief and to feel like I can function normally without them. I'm doing it cold turkey and weaning slowly just prolongs themisery to come. I'm really scared because it is my own dirty little secret with no intent to hurt anyone but boy am I gonna pay! I'll be here for you.
I've been a pain management patient for over a decade now. I've been prescribed everything it seems based on what I've read in this thread. Morphine, Codeine, Oxycodone, Hydrocodone, Hydromorphone (Dilaudid), Fentanyl, Levorphanol, etc...
They all work great for the pain...for a few weeks or less, then the tolerance gets to the point where it takes higher and higher doses to ease the pain significantly. Unfortunately, the side effects keep going up while the pain relief goes down...bad cycle and it's the curse of the opes. Google about glial cells and you'll see why. There is a lot of cool new research in the chronic pain area. But this is about cleaning up off of opes, so I'll go back to my topic.
A couple of times a year, I get fed up with my ope use and tell myself I can handle the pain without them and quit. I've tried a variety of methods. Some really, really bad ones, and some that were actually pretty easy. Some others were forced upon me by circumstances...meds getting washed in the laundry, losing tabs at someones house while away, pharmacy running out of a difficult to obtain med, manufacturer failing the whole lot and delaying supply...you get the picture...lot's of withdrawals, some by choice, others not.
The best method BY FAR that I've found involves a planned tapering every 3 to 5 days for about 3 to 8 weeks depending on the amount I'm using and my tolerance at the time. I could describe other faster ways which involve a variety of prescription and 'non-prescription' chems, but I won't. While faster, they were tougher and don't work as well and some were downright dangerous and I'm lucky to have survived...and have been admonished by loving witnesses never to repeat them...and I will not.
EDUCATIONAL CONTENT - NOT MEDICAL ADVICE - I'M AN MBA NOT AN MD - THIS WORKS FOR ME - GOOD LUCK!
The way I do a taper is to start by taking my daily dose and dividing it by a number between 8 to 12 depending whichever number is easiest. Example if I'm taking 80 mg/d then 8 is easiest = 10 mg. If I'm using a modest amount, then I'll reduce by 10 mg every 4 days for 32 days (4 x 8 = 32). If I was using an odd number I'd just round up to get a smooth result. Example: 150 mg/d ... round to 160 / 8 = 20 mg. This becomes the number of step down periods in the taper. Then I decide how each period will be...if I'm mildly tolerant each will be only 3 days, if really tolerant, then each will be longer, like 5 days. Now I know how long the taper will last (3 x 8 = 24 days... or 5 x 12 = 60 days). The reason you want to use tapers at least 3 weeks to a couple of months long is because it takes time for your endogenous opioid system to kick in and ramp back up. That's why the quick methods are spectacularly unsuccessful...pain will hijack your mind...you have to give your body time to deal with it and get back on line.
Another tip here is to find out what half of my usual pill or tab contains and let that drive my numbers since I'll be using halves for all or at least half of the time in the taper. The reason to use halves is it is almost impossible to cut tabs or pills into odd sections accurately, but it's easy to cut them in half, and cut the half in half again with a cheap pill cutter or razor. Now I start thinking in terms of 'halves'. Example: If I was taking 4 x 20 mg tabs, then I'll start my taper by taking 7 'halves' for 4 days (70 mg or 7/8 for 4d, then 60 mg or 6/8 for 4d, 5/8 for 4d, and so on...). When I get to half my original dose, think about using quarters and doubling dosing frequency or just stick to halves if I'm not jonesing too bad between doses. There is a psychological reason for this. When I'm tapering, my body forces me to start thinking about getting meds. If I know that my next dose is only a few hours away, then it's easier to rationalize. Even if it's only a quarter tab. This goes away towards the end of the taper as my natural system becomes the dominant provider and that's the whole point. This is a good thing as towards the end of the taper the dosing frequency decreases and time spans lengthen until the vanishing point when I'm clean.
While I'm on dosing frequency, here's how I figure that: I'll divide my day in hours by the number of doses for that period. Example: 16 hours and 8 doses ... 16/8 = about 2 hours. This isn't rocket science, so don't make it hard. Things like 17 hours divided by 7 doses give some interesting results...be reasonable. In this case, I get up at 6a and take a dose, now I have 6 more until 11p. 17/6 = 2.83 or ~ every 3 hours, so the doses would be at 6a (waking), 9a, noon, 3p, 6p, 9p, and 11p (bedtime). Yes, there's a little math here. Emphasis on little. If someone made it through elementary school, this shouldn't pose any particular difficulty. I say this in jest, since Jeff Foxworthy tells me all the time that I'm not smarter than a fifth grader. Most days I believe he's right!
Once I know what my taper schedule is, it's a simple matter to know how many tabs I'll need to finish...in fact sometimes, knowing how many tabs i have becomes the thing that dictates the taper scheme. Once I know the number, I FLUSH THE EXTRAS DOWN THE TOILET...if 'extra' is around, somehow it manages to get used. That completely frustrates the process. Breaking of the taper forces an early run out and withdrawals which become a strong incentive not to violate...keeping extras is the opposite and is frankly just stupid and makes me wonder why I was bothering with the hassle in the first place. Moral of the story: No Cheating! Cheating is addiction...adherence is recovery.
I hope this information helps.
Remember: Don't cheat and don't give up. This is a relatively painless way to clean up...but only if someone wants to be clean. I hate being a user. I hope you do too. Good luck!
Love.
They all work great for the pain...for a few weeks or less, then the tolerance gets to the point where it takes higher and higher doses to ease the pain significantly. Unfortunately, the side effects keep going up while the pain relief goes down...bad cycle and it's the curse of the opes. Google about glial cells and you'll see why. There is a lot of cool new research in the chronic pain area. But this is about cleaning up off of opes, so I'll go back to my topic.
A couple of times a year, I get fed up with my ope use and tell myself I can handle the pain without them and quit. I've tried a variety of methods. Some really, really bad ones, and some that were actually pretty easy. Some others were forced upon me by circumstances...meds getting washed in the laundry, losing tabs at someones house while away, pharmacy running out of a difficult to obtain med, manufacturer failing the whole lot and delaying supply...you get the picture...lot's of withdrawals, some by choice, others not.
The best method BY FAR that I've found involves a planned tapering every 3 to 5 days for about 3 to 8 weeks depending on the amount I'm using and my tolerance at the time. I could describe other faster ways which involve a variety of prescription and 'non-prescription' chems, but I won't. While faster, they were tougher and don't work as well and some were downright dangerous and I'm lucky to have survived...and have been admonished by loving witnesses never to repeat them...and I will not.
EDUCATIONAL CONTENT - NOT MEDICAL ADVICE - I'M AN MBA NOT AN MD - THIS WORKS FOR ME - GOOD LUCK!
The way I do a taper is to start by taking my daily dose and dividing it by a number between 8 to 12 depending whichever number is easiest. Example if I'm taking 80 mg/d then 8 is easiest = 10 mg. If I'm using a modest amount, then I'll reduce by 10 mg every 4 days for 32 days (4 x 8 = 32). If I was using an odd number I'd just round up to get a smooth result. Example: 150 mg/d ... round to 160 / 8 = 20 mg. This becomes the number of step down periods in the taper. Then I decide how each period will be...if I'm mildly tolerant each will be only 3 days, if really tolerant, then each will be longer, like 5 days. Now I know how long the taper will last (3 x 8 = 24 days... or 5 x 12 = 60 days). The reason you want to use tapers at least 3 weeks to a couple of months long is because it takes time for your endogenous opioid system to kick in and ramp back up. That's why the quick methods are spectacularly unsuccessful...pain will hijack your mind...you have to give your body time to deal with it and get back on line.
Another tip here is to find out what half of my usual pill or tab contains and let that drive my numbers since I'll be using halves for all or at least half of the time in the taper. The reason to use halves is it is almost impossible to cut tabs or pills into odd sections accurately, but it's easy to cut them in half, and cut the half in half again with a cheap pill cutter or razor. Now I start thinking in terms of 'halves'. Example: If I was taking 4 x 20 mg tabs, then I'll start my taper by taking 7 'halves' for 4 days (70 mg or 7/8 for 4d, then 60 mg or 6/8 for 4d, 5/8 for 4d, and so on...). When I get to half my original dose, think about using quarters and doubling dosing frequency or just stick to halves if I'm not jonesing too bad between doses. There is a psychological reason for this. When I'm tapering, my body forces me to start thinking about getting meds. If I know that my next dose is only a few hours away, then it's easier to rationalize. Even if it's only a quarter tab. This goes away towards the end of the taper as my natural system becomes the dominant provider and that's the whole point. This is a good thing as towards the end of the taper the dosing frequency decreases and time spans lengthen until the vanishing point when I'm clean.
While I'm on dosing frequency, here's how I figure that: I'll divide my day in hours by the number of doses for that period. Example: 16 hours and 8 doses ... 16/8 = about 2 hours. This isn't rocket science, so don't make it hard. Things like 17 hours divided by 7 doses give some interesting results...be reasonable. In this case, I get up at 6a and take a dose, now I have 6 more until 11p. 17/6 = 2.83 or ~ every 3 hours, so the doses would be at 6a (waking), 9a, noon, 3p, 6p, 9p, and 11p (bedtime). Yes, there's a little math here. Emphasis on little. If someone made it through elementary school, this shouldn't pose any particular difficulty. I say this in jest, since Jeff Foxworthy tells me all the time that I'm not smarter than a fifth grader. Most days I believe he's right!
Once I know what my taper schedule is, it's a simple matter to know how many tabs I'll need to finish...in fact sometimes, knowing how many tabs i have becomes the thing that dictates the taper scheme. Once I know the number, I FLUSH THE EXTRAS DOWN THE TOILET...if 'extra' is around, somehow it manages to get used. That completely frustrates the process. Breaking of the taper forces an early run out and withdrawals which become a strong incentive not to violate...keeping extras is the opposite and is frankly just stupid and makes me wonder why I was bothering with the hassle in the first place. Moral of the story: No Cheating! Cheating is addiction...adherence is recovery.
I hope this information helps.
Remember: Don't cheat and don't give up. This is a relatively painless way to clean up...but only if someone wants to be clean. I hate being a user. I hope you do too. Good luck!
Love.
Hi, I have been reading this thread to stay sane during detox. Sunday was the last day I took a whole pain pill. I have been on Lortab 7.5/ 4-5 a day since June 09. With that being said, I've been on much stronger drugs before to treat the disease I have and this is my third detox. The first one was on Lortab and I went to a pain clinic and was weaned off using Suboxone (until I thought I was pregnant) and the doctor gave me Subutex instead. It doesn't have that antagonist in it, but it is the same as Suboxone -- i found pretty easy to taper off within two months I was done.
The second time I decided to detox was after I lost a pregnancy due to other medications given to me by my Rhuematologist (non- narcotic). I was given Fentanyl patches for my pain and then weaned down to Lortab again. Finally I think it dawned on me that I can't do it anymore. That detox took about 4-5 days and I would periodically sip off some codeine cough syrup to sustain me so I wouldn't go nuts. When that ran out I filled it with water and used that. It helped me taper off. I was fine within 7 days.
I've just returned from Mayo Clinic and they told me that even with my pain medicine, my pain levels were far above normal. That helped me rationalize why I was still relying on them. Plus the pain was so severe that I knew I couldn't get along without it. It seemed like a joke to me. Because, hey, I have an actual disease that causes pain.
I've heard that people with my disease don't have to take meds. Physical Therapy, Lyrica, and a few other things can help instead of narcotics. That still sounded hopeless to me. I knew i NEEDED those pills to be normal. In the back of my mind I needed them to THINK normally and to be who I am.. not just for pain relief. They really weren't doing much for the pain any longer. I called to get a refill and my doctor gave me flack about it. I felt ashamed, like I was a piece of c**p under his shoe. I had just been tested at the best hospital in the US and they said my pain was CRAZY bad (via CK level in blood test) .. why would he treat me this way??
He wanted me to come in and "talk to him about it". NO. I went to my ACTUAL DOCTOR two weeks ago (within the same practice) and she said I could call when I ran out and they would fill it. But now the main doctor there wants to talk to me. Really?>!
I just made up my mind. Basically said "F***ING FORGET IT" . I'm tired of doctors seeing me as a drug seeker even though I'm not and I pass my urine tests every time. I'm tired of letting Lortab or Tramadol tell people that I'm a druggie or a loser. I'M NOT.
I'm not even able to work because of my disease getting so freaking bad. That's why my dad and I flew to Mayo Clinic. It's 14 hours from where we live. We finally got answers and I'm ready to just move on from pain meds. No more stigma. I don't want anyone else to pre judge me.
So with all of that being said...
I haven't had a tab since Sunday April 11.
Monday, April 12, I took a Tramadol and a sliver of a tab. Still able to go to Physical Therapy. No awful withdrawal symptoms yet. Just couldn't sleep to save my life. Also I woke up with a sore throat and coughing. Looks like the flu will be joining me on this detox.
Tuesday April 13, suffered as soon as I got up I could feel my body begging me for a pain pill. Did some research and found the Thomas Recipe. Hubby will bring me my Klonopin as soon as he gets off. He knows how bad my pain can get. He took pictures for the past three years of my swollen, red, painful joints (mostly knees and hands). He can't believe I'm giving up my pain medicine since it is obvious I need it, but he also said he's proud of me for exploring my options and trying to do this on my own. He is really big on feeling pain to build character, since he has had a rough and painful life. He doesn't do drugs and I have to force Tylenol Cold and Sinus down his throat when he's sick. Around 3pm I feel like dog c**p... go grab my secret stash of weed and pack a bowl.
Two hits.. feeling much much better. Hubby's home with Klonopin, and I found a post about LYRICA helping with the detox. Immediately got up and grabbed my bottle of Lyrica that had been sitting in the desk drawer for a month now. I had stopped it when I started getting a tightness in my chest. Now I think that it may have been the cold that I have now. I down two Lyrica and feel better after a whole Klonopin and two Lyrica. I don't feel like doing cartwheels or jumping jacks... but my skin isn't crawling anymore.
Still have the flu. Snot, coughing, body aches, general feeling of malaise.. I've been taking an anti-biotic too so I'm hoping it will kick this sinus infection/flu.
10:30pm --Bed Time cocktail -- Nyquil, Tylenol, 2 Lyrica, Klonopin
Wake up three hours later because my hands and arms had the creepy-crawlies SO SO SO BAD I had to pray to God to help me
through this... grab the Nyquil that I'd set aside in the event of me waking up and downed the little cup. Two Neurontin down the hatch, and half a Klonopin. I slept like a baby until 11 am!
Wednesday, day 3 of no Lortab. . wake up at 11am from a night that made me want to chop my creepy crawly arms off. It's usually my legs.. but nope...arms.
Immediately take a hot shower and a Lyrica. Feeling ok. Go lay down again and take cold/flu medicine w/ anti-biotic and my adderrall. The adderall helped, but I need another Lyrica. I don't know how the Lyrica works for opiate withdrawal, but it really and truly has been a Godsend.
Here I am now. Drinking plently of fluids and I smell like a big cough drop.
Keys to staying sane no matter who you are..
Klonopin or any other benzo (Valium, Xanax)
Hot showers or baths
Lyrica if you have it. I've been taking 125 mg at a time
Lots of fluids
Vitamins -- ive been taking Vitamin D (i have a Vitamin D defciency anway), Vitamin B complex, Flaxseed Oil
For energy I have just been taking Adderall since I legitimately have ADD
Also the occasional bong hit has been beneficial for me.
I can see some immodium in my future!
Lyrica was a huge surprise for me... but hey whatever works!
I will post more on my day three experience. I just have to power through this like a soldier!! I can do it... I am strong!! Whoever may be reading this in desperation, please please don't give up. You can do this too just like I can. I feel so weak, but I know in my heart that I am strong as hell. ((((hugs))))
The second time I decided to detox was after I lost a pregnancy due to other medications given to me by my Rhuematologist (non- narcotic). I was given Fentanyl patches for my pain and then weaned down to Lortab again. Finally I think it dawned on me that I can't do it anymore. That detox took about 4-5 days and I would periodically sip off some codeine cough syrup to sustain me so I wouldn't go nuts. When that ran out I filled it with water and used that. It helped me taper off. I was fine within 7 days.
I've just returned from Mayo Clinic and they told me that even with my pain medicine, my pain levels were far above normal. That helped me rationalize why I was still relying on them. Plus the pain was so severe that I knew I couldn't get along without it. It seemed like a joke to me. Because, hey, I have an actual disease that causes pain.
I've heard that people with my disease don't have to take meds. Physical Therapy, Lyrica, and a few other things can help instead of narcotics. That still sounded hopeless to me. I knew i NEEDED those pills to be normal. In the back of my mind I needed them to THINK normally and to be who I am.. not just for pain relief. They really weren't doing much for the pain any longer. I called to get a refill and my doctor gave me flack about it. I felt ashamed, like I was a piece of c**p under his shoe. I had just been tested at the best hospital in the US and they said my pain was CRAZY bad (via CK level in blood test) .. why would he treat me this way??
He wanted me to come in and "talk to him about it". NO. I went to my ACTUAL DOCTOR two weeks ago (within the same practice) and she said I could call when I ran out and they would fill it. But now the main doctor there wants to talk to me. Really?>!
I just made up my mind. Basically said "F***ING FORGET IT" . I'm tired of doctors seeing me as a drug seeker even though I'm not and I pass my urine tests every time. I'm tired of letting Lortab or Tramadol tell people that I'm a druggie or a loser. I'M NOT.
I'm not even able to work because of my disease getting so freaking bad. That's why my dad and I flew to Mayo Clinic. It's 14 hours from where we live. We finally got answers and I'm ready to just move on from pain meds. No more stigma. I don't want anyone else to pre judge me.
So with all of that being said...
I haven't had a tab since Sunday April 11.
Monday, April 12, I took a Tramadol and a sliver of a tab. Still able to go to Physical Therapy. No awful withdrawal symptoms yet. Just couldn't sleep to save my life. Also I woke up with a sore throat and coughing. Looks like the flu will be joining me on this detox.
Tuesday April 13, suffered as soon as I got up I could feel my body begging me for a pain pill. Did some research and found the Thomas Recipe. Hubby will bring me my Klonopin as soon as he gets off. He knows how bad my pain can get. He took pictures for the past three years of my swollen, red, painful joints (mostly knees and hands). He can't believe I'm giving up my pain medicine since it is obvious I need it, but he also said he's proud of me for exploring my options and trying to do this on my own. He is really big on feeling pain to build character, since he has had a rough and painful life. He doesn't do drugs and I have to force Tylenol Cold and Sinus down his throat when he's sick. Around 3pm I feel like dog c**p... go grab my secret stash of weed and pack a bowl.
Two hits.. feeling much much better. Hubby's home with Klonopin, and I found a post about LYRICA helping with the detox. Immediately got up and grabbed my bottle of Lyrica that had been sitting in the desk drawer for a month now. I had stopped it when I started getting a tightness in my chest. Now I think that it may have been the cold that I have now. I down two Lyrica and feel better after a whole Klonopin and two Lyrica. I don't feel like doing cartwheels or jumping jacks... but my skin isn't crawling anymore.
Still have the flu. Snot, coughing, body aches, general feeling of malaise.. I've been taking an anti-biotic too so I'm hoping it will kick this sinus infection/flu.
10:30pm --Bed Time cocktail -- Nyquil, Tylenol, 2 Lyrica, Klonopin
Wake up three hours later because my hands and arms had the creepy-crawlies SO SO SO BAD I had to pray to God to help me
through this... grab the Nyquil that I'd set aside in the event of me waking up and downed the little cup. Two Neurontin down the hatch, and half a Klonopin. I slept like a baby until 11 am!
Wednesday, day 3 of no Lortab. . wake up at 11am from a night that made me want to chop my creepy crawly arms off. It's usually my legs.. but nope...arms.
Immediately take a hot shower and a Lyrica. Feeling ok. Go lay down again and take cold/flu medicine w/ anti-biotic and my adderrall. The adderall helped, but I need another Lyrica. I don't know how the Lyrica works for opiate withdrawal, but it really and truly has been a Godsend.
Here I am now. Drinking plently of fluids and I smell like a big cough drop.
Keys to staying sane no matter who you are..
Klonopin or any other benzo (Valium, Xanax)
Hot showers or baths
Lyrica if you have it. I've been taking 125 mg at a time
Lots of fluids
Vitamins -- ive been taking Vitamin D (i have a Vitamin D defciency anway), Vitamin B complex, Flaxseed Oil
For energy I have just been taking Adderall since I legitimately have ADD
Also the occasional bong hit has been beneficial for me.
I can see some immodium in my future!
Lyrica was a huge surprise for me... but hey whatever works!
I will post more on my day three experience. I just have to power through this like a soldier!! I can do it... I am strong!! Whoever may be reading this in desperation, please please don't give up. You can do this too just like I can. I feel so weak, but I know in my heart that I am strong as hell. ((((hugs))))
I have completed day 2 of WD from--Loratab&Percocets...I have been addicted for years.
It started with"Dental''work&I was hooked!! Started going to the Dr.for everything I could think
Of to get pain meds.Also got my husband to go to EVERY Clinic to say he hurt his back...The
Doctor's give more pain meds to men.
I am ashamed to say I then started buying off the street--My husbands monthly loratab
Prescription was not enough for me.I needed way more to get high.
So,I found a hook up&spent money out of our savings too! He also ripped me off many,many
times.But--I kept buying from him.
I have quit for years before--But--started back due to''Migranes''...Then--had another excuse..I lost
My precious Mother 3months ago.: ( It has been so hard without her&I took even more to help
Me deal with the stress of losing her.
But--after redicating my life to Christ,I have decided I am going to do it this time...For myself,
My Grandbabies..My Children{Who have been so helpful&Understanding}My Husband&My Mother!
So,This time SO far is alittle better---My Son just happened to be on a weeks vacation--When,I ran out
Of pain pills&could not get anymore.
So--he said he would help me....
Monday evening was the last pill I took---Tuesday morning,My Son&I got up early--I had to drag myself outta bed..
We went all day--Shopping&just getting out in the beautiful weather...I did have to take-Immodium before I left{The upset stomach
had already started}!!That night I did not sleep--restless legs...sweats...I do have a prescription for''Xanax''for my panic attacks.
So,It seems to help on the high anxiety&stress. Also--using a heating pad for legs...
Today--day 2--Wednesday--Got up early again...Yes-had to drag myself up--Got ready again.My Son took me
To meet my daughter&grandbaby.We went to''Botanical Gardens''...SO pretty&walked a few miles today--It was a
nice day--Sun felt great&to walk for the first time during WD was nice.
It is 11pm now,I feel tired--got a hot shower for my restless&painful legs...I am dreading going to bed..
Praying for a little rest.
IN the morning,My Son is taking me to my other-Daughters house early...We&Another grandbaby are going to the-Zoo.
Yet another day of sunshine&lots of exercise.I pray tomorrow will be better--IT will be day 3!!!
I am going to try a-Xanax tonight...and a--benadryl.I have been sneezing too--Don't know if that is part of it
Or not.
I have been taking a good''Womens Vitamin''&Going to pick up some things I seen some of you listed
to hopefully make my next 5days or so go better.
LIke--Green Tea..Protein Shakes{I did have one tonight}Was very healthy&set well on stomach.
Also--Some Cranberry Pomegrante juice.
I will pray for you as well as myself to make it&I can't wait to feel like the-Real ME again.It has been sooooo
Long since I have felt that,I don't know what the real me is,WIthout being high.
My family say I acted better--OFF the drugs.
Nite NIte&I will check back in---God Bless All Of You.
It started with"Dental''work&I was hooked!! Started going to the Dr.for everything I could think
Of to get pain meds.Also got my husband to go to EVERY Clinic to say he hurt his back...The
Doctor's give more pain meds to men.
I am ashamed to say I then started buying off the street--My husbands monthly loratab
Prescription was not enough for me.I needed way more to get high.
So,I found a hook up&spent money out of our savings too! He also ripped me off many,many
times.But--I kept buying from him.
I have quit for years before--But--started back due to''Migranes''...Then--had another excuse..I lost
My precious Mother 3months ago.: ( It has been so hard without her&I took even more to help
Me deal with the stress of losing her.
But--after redicating my life to Christ,I have decided I am going to do it this time...For myself,
My Grandbabies..My Children{Who have been so helpful&Understanding}My Husband&My Mother!
So,This time SO far is alittle better---My Son just happened to be on a weeks vacation--When,I ran out
Of pain pills&could not get anymore.
So--he said he would help me....
Monday evening was the last pill I took---Tuesday morning,My Son&I got up early--I had to drag myself outta bed..
We went all day--Shopping&just getting out in the beautiful weather...I did have to take-Immodium before I left{The upset stomach
had already started}!!That night I did not sleep--restless legs...sweats...I do have a prescription for''Xanax''for my panic attacks.
So,It seems to help on the high anxiety&stress. Also--using a heating pad for legs...
Today--day 2--Wednesday--Got up early again...Yes-had to drag myself up--Got ready again.My Son took me
To meet my daughter&grandbaby.We went to''Botanical Gardens''...SO pretty&walked a few miles today--It was a
nice day--Sun felt great&to walk for the first time during WD was nice.
It is 11pm now,I feel tired--got a hot shower for my restless&painful legs...I am dreading going to bed..
Praying for a little rest.
IN the morning,My Son is taking me to my other-Daughters house early...We&Another grandbaby are going to the-Zoo.
Yet another day of sunshine&lots of exercise.I pray tomorrow will be better--IT will be day 3!!!
I am going to try a-Xanax tonight...and a--benadryl.I have been sneezing too--Don't know if that is part of it
Or not.
I have been taking a good''Womens Vitamin''&Going to pick up some things I seen some of you listed
to hopefully make my next 5days or so go better.
LIke--Green Tea..Protein Shakes{I did have one tonight}Was very healthy&set well on stomach.
Also--Some Cranberry Pomegrante juice.
I will pray for you as well as myself to make it&I can't wait to feel like the-Real ME again.It has been sooooo
Long since I have felt that,I don't know what the real me is,WIthout being high.
My family say I acted better--OFF the drugs.
Nite NIte&I will check back in---God Bless All Of You.
Iv been taking tramadol for what seems like forever. I was in a bad car accident back in the 90s. Have a artificial hip now because of that accident so many years ago. I have been on other pain killers but you can get tramadol on the internet so easy.
God the money I have spent all these years. I have tried to go cold turkey. There is a withdrawl symptom that I get
that I dont see on any of the posts that always makes me go back on the tramadol. I cough so bad I wiil break
blood vessels in my face and eyes. The tickle or itch is so intense, it like Im having a allergy attack in my throat.
Dont get me wrong I also get the other symptoms as well. But this is the one that breaks me. I dont want to take cough syrup with codien. That just defiets the purpose. I really dont know why Im writing this. I cant afford to take off work to go cold turkey or do a rehab.
I do take prozac also, I dont know if that would help head off the depression. Well I was just wondering if I was the only one having the cough with the other symptoms. Thanks you for reading this and God Bless.
God the money I have spent all these years. I have tried to go cold turkey. There is a withdrawl symptom that I get
that I dont see on any of the posts that always makes me go back on the tramadol. I cough so bad I wiil break
blood vessels in my face and eyes. The tickle or itch is so intense, it like Im having a allergy attack in my throat.
Dont get me wrong I also get the other symptoms as well. But this is the one that breaks me. I dont want to take cough syrup with codien. That just defiets the purpose. I really dont know why Im writing this. I cant afford to take off work to go cold turkey or do a rehab.
I do take prozac also, I dont know if that would help head off the depression. Well I was just wondering if I was the only one having the cough with the other symptoms. Thanks you for reading this and God Bless.
Like many others, I began taking the hydrocodone for a legitimate pain problem. Three years later, I'm prescribed 4 10's per day... but of course that's not enough. I frequently take more in able to "feel normal" and to "feel better". So because of that, the last few months I've found myself running out of my allotted amount before I'm able to get my next refill. My doctor is very careful about this stuff and there is absolutely no early refills. Period.
The past few months, I've managed to get more from other people to get by to my next refill, but I've exhausted my resources and I'm once again nearly out. My refill is a week away and I only had three pills left this morning. I've wanted to quit taking them for a long time, but I've been afraid of the pain (although I'm not even sure it's still an issue to be honest) and I've been afraid of the withdrawal. But this time, I'm forced to endure. I've got 7 days. Today is the first and I took one half pill today just to help with the withdrawal symptoms and I intend to do that for the next five days (when I'll then be completely out).
I've been forced to ween down before, but in the past three years, the most I've gone without was during one 24 hour period... and at that point, I had weened down enough that it wasn't that bad... plus, when you know your next refill is only a day away, it's pretty easy to put up with the symptoms and I would just tell everyone that I had the flu. BUT when it's a week away - that's another issue. And once I do go through this what I'm guessing will be rough withdrawal, will I even want to refill next week? And do I need to? Everytime I've skipped a dose I've felt the pain return, but I'm not sure if that's from the condition or from withdrawal of the medicine. I honestly don't know anymore... and I'm tired of living month to month worried about what day I'll get my next refill and worrying about how many days of withdrawal I need to plan for, etc.
The reason I'm here is because I'm afraid. Like I said, 24 hours is the longest I've been off of them in three years.... so 7 days is scary and I'm expecting rough withdrawal. Today hasn't been too bad. I did experience cold sweats for a bit and my mind was not focused at work, but not too bad so far.
I bought some detox tea (and I HATE tea but I figured the sooner I can get this over with the better!) and I've been drinking lots of protein shakes and water. I also bought all of the "necessities" the Benedryl, the Immodium, and a sleep aid so that I'm prepared. I've had withdrawal symptoms before and it wasn't fun, but I always got my refill before it was too bad. This time that isn't going to happen. I've already started to warn people that I'm not feeling so well and that I think I might be getting sick.
Like you guys, this is my secret. I seriously doubt that my family and friends don't at the very least suspect that I'm dependent on the pills. They all know about my condition. But I never really take about the pills with anyone and I never ever tell anyone when I'm running out or going through withdrawal. I'm afraid that I'll be judged and that they would feel like they had to take it upon themselves to monitor my medication. That would just piss me off.
Reading this thread helped me a lot. It helped me to know what to have on hand (just in case) and it helped me to realize that I will survive this. It has also made me think about whether or not I even want my refill next week. If I fill it, most likely I'll be in this same position next month and I'm so tired of it. I guess I'll have to see how mentally strong I am and how ready I am.
I talked to my doc in the past about wanting off the drugs and he said that he had no problem helping me wean off, but he warned me that I was going to have to learn to live with the chronic pain of my condition and that it would be difficult. So that scares me... but at the same time, I need to get off the meds to see where I even stand at this point. Before the meds, I was practically disabled, but with them, I can lead a pretty active life. However, it does get to a point where you need more and more to feel "normal" and for them to feel like they're working. So even when you have a legitimate reason for them, using them long term is a bad idea.
Anyway, this thread has helped. Your stories have helped, and we'll see how the next week goes.
good luck everyone.
The past few months, I've managed to get more from other people to get by to my next refill, but I've exhausted my resources and I'm once again nearly out. My refill is a week away and I only had three pills left this morning. I've wanted to quit taking them for a long time, but I've been afraid of the pain (although I'm not even sure it's still an issue to be honest) and I've been afraid of the withdrawal. But this time, I'm forced to endure. I've got 7 days. Today is the first and I took one half pill today just to help with the withdrawal symptoms and I intend to do that for the next five days (when I'll then be completely out).
I've been forced to ween down before, but in the past three years, the most I've gone without was during one 24 hour period... and at that point, I had weened down enough that it wasn't that bad... plus, when you know your next refill is only a day away, it's pretty easy to put up with the symptoms and I would just tell everyone that I had the flu. BUT when it's a week away - that's another issue. And once I do go through this what I'm guessing will be rough withdrawal, will I even want to refill next week? And do I need to? Everytime I've skipped a dose I've felt the pain return, but I'm not sure if that's from the condition or from withdrawal of the medicine. I honestly don't know anymore... and I'm tired of living month to month worried about what day I'll get my next refill and worrying about how many days of withdrawal I need to plan for, etc.
The reason I'm here is because I'm afraid. Like I said, 24 hours is the longest I've been off of them in three years.... so 7 days is scary and I'm expecting rough withdrawal. Today hasn't been too bad. I did experience cold sweats for a bit and my mind was not focused at work, but not too bad so far.
I bought some detox tea (and I HATE tea but I figured the sooner I can get this over with the better!) and I've been drinking lots of protein shakes and water. I also bought all of the "necessities" the Benedryl, the Immodium, and a sleep aid so that I'm prepared. I've had withdrawal symptoms before and it wasn't fun, but I always got my refill before it was too bad. This time that isn't going to happen. I've already started to warn people that I'm not feeling so well and that I think I might be getting sick.
Like you guys, this is my secret. I seriously doubt that my family and friends don't at the very least suspect that I'm dependent on the pills. They all know about my condition. But I never really take about the pills with anyone and I never ever tell anyone when I'm running out or going through withdrawal. I'm afraid that I'll be judged and that they would feel like they had to take it upon themselves to monitor my medication. That would just piss me off.
Reading this thread helped me a lot. It helped me to know what to have on hand (just in case) and it helped me to realize that I will survive this. It has also made me think about whether or not I even want my refill next week. If I fill it, most likely I'll be in this same position next month and I'm so tired of it. I guess I'll have to see how mentally strong I am and how ready I am.
I talked to my doc in the past about wanting off the drugs and he said that he had no problem helping me wean off, but he warned me that I was going to have to learn to live with the chronic pain of my condition and that it would be difficult. So that scares me... but at the same time, I need to get off the meds to see where I even stand at this point. Before the meds, I was practically disabled, but with them, I can lead a pretty active life. However, it does get to a point where you need more and more to feel "normal" and for them to feel like they're working. So even when you have a legitimate reason for them, using them long term is a bad idea.
Anyway, this thread has helped. Your stories have helped, and we'll see how the next week goes.
good luck everyone.
Hi. I'm the same poster above. Wanting to update because it makes me feel better.
This is the morning of day 2. I didn't get much sleep last night. I tossed and turned all night. And then I woke at 4am with intense leg pain. So I got up and took some excederin PM and that helped A LOT.
This morning I had the weird yawning, a headache, and just felt exhausted and I'm sure it's partly the withdrawal and partly that I didn't get any sleep last night.
I already took my daily allotment of the hydrocodone. To remind you from above, on a normal day, I'll take 6-10 10/500 per day. But now I only have enough to take one half of one pill per day for the next few days. So yes, I'm still detoxing and feeling withdrawal but I'm hoping that my very small amount each day will ease the symptoms. I have to admit, about 30 minutes after I took that this morning I felt pretty dang good. Not "high" by any stretch of the imagination, but normal. I'm probably going to regret taking it so early because I have to go to work in a few minutes and its going to be a long day.
I had a protein shake this morning and I intend to continue drinking lots of protein water, sports drinks, and detox tea. I also have the benedryl, immodium, and excedrin (regular and pm) on hand and ready to go in case I need it.
My next doc appt is over a month away. So I think I've decided I'm going to go ahead and get my refills (and try to ration them better!!) and then talk to my doc about getting off of them at my next appt. I think it'll be easier with his help. Also, the other thing I've noticed in the last 24 hours is that the pain that got me on these damn things in the first place hasn't really been an issue. So I'm not sure that I even need them anymore. At the very least, its pretty obvious that I don't need them every day. Anyway, it hasn't even been a full hour since I took the half pill and I can tell it's already wearing off. My head is starting to pound so I better go take some excederin and hydrate.
I'm 24 hours in and it hasn't been too bad yet, but it also isn't fun that's for sure. I'm sure I'll be back to report on the rest of the week.
This is the morning of day 2. I didn't get much sleep last night. I tossed and turned all night. And then I woke at 4am with intense leg pain. So I got up and took some excederin PM and that helped A LOT.
This morning I had the weird yawning, a headache, and just felt exhausted and I'm sure it's partly the withdrawal and partly that I didn't get any sleep last night.
I already took my daily allotment of the hydrocodone. To remind you from above, on a normal day, I'll take 6-10 10/500 per day. But now I only have enough to take one half of one pill per day for the next few days. So yes, I'm still detoxing and feeling withdrawal but I'm hoping that my very small amount each day will ease the symptoms. I have to admit, about 30 minutes after I took that this morning I felt pretty dang good. Not "high" by any stretch of the imagination, but normal. I'm probably going to regret taking it so early because I have to go to work in a few minutes and its going to be a long day.
I had a protein shake this morning and I intend to continue drinking lots of protein water, sports drinks, and detox tea. I also have the benedryl, immodium, and excedrin (regular and pm) on hand and ready to go in case I need it.
My next doc appt is over a month away. So I think I've decided I'm going to go ahead and get my refills (and try to ration them better!!) and then talk to my doc about getting off of them at my next appt. I think it'll be easier with his help. Also, the other thing I've noticed in the last 24 hours is that the pain that got me on these damn things in the first place hasn't really been an issue. So I'm not sure that I even need them anymore. At the very least, its pretty obvious that I don't need them every day. Anyway, it hasn't even been a full hour since I took the half pill and I can tell it's already wearing off. My head is starting to pound so I better go take some excederin and hydrate.
I'm 24 hours in and it hasn't been too bad yet, but it also isn't fun that's for sure. I'm sure I'll be back to report on the rest of the week.
Me again. Same poster as above.
I made it through another day of work - sort of. Late this afternoon I did end up taking another half pill. So far I haven't had any "serious" withdrawal symptoms, but it's the shaky weird, can't concentrate, anxious feelings of the withdrawal that I can't deal with. Especially when I have to work. I had meetings today and I have no idea what happened in them. I couldn't concentrate and think at all. It sucks.
I think that the tappering or weaning just prolongs the detox and therefore the withdrawal symptoms to some extent. Unless you can do a really good job at tappering off over a decent period of time, then its not worth it. Going from taking 6-10 pills per day down to one-half of one pill is not fun. And I feel like the real withdrawal (the BIG "I think I'm going to die") symptoms won't start until I'm totally off... so this tappering off stuff is just making me suffer more. I get my refill on Monday. Then I'm def going to have my doctor help me do a real weaning off or a full on detox. But next time its going to be planned (hopefully) and I'll take a week off of work. I think this would be working better if I was able to relax, but since I have two jobs there is no time for relaxation or withdrawal symptoms. I just have to keep going and pushing. I hope tomorrow is better but I doubt it will be. I feel like c**p and I've had no sleep and lots of work. my head is pounding.
This sucks.
I made it through another day of work - sort of. Late this afternoon I did end up taking another half pill. So far I haven't had any "serious" withdrawal symptoms, but it's the shaky weird, can't concentrate, anxious feelings of the withdrawal that I can't deal with. Especially when I have to work. I had meetings today and I have no idea what happened in them. I couldn't concentrate and think at all. It sucks.
I think that the tappering or weaning just prolongs the detox and therefore the withdrawal symptoms to some extent. Unless you can do a really good job at tappering off over a decent period of time, then its not worth it. Going from taking 6-10 pills per day down to one-half of one pill is not fun. And I feel like the real withdrawal (the BIG "I think I'm going to die") symptoms won't start until I'm totally off... so this tappering off stuff is just making me suffer more. I get my refill on Monday. Then I'm def going to have my doctor help me do a real weaning off or a full on detox. But next time its going to be planned (hopefully) and I'll take a week off of work. I think this would be working better if I was able to relax, but since I have two jobs there is no time for relaxation or withdrawal symptoms. I just have to keep going and pushing. I hope tomorrow is better but I doubt it will be. I feel like c**p and I've had no sleep and lots of work. my head is pounding.
This sucks.
Inspiration. The song "I'll Stand by You" by The Pretenders.
I just listened to it (as I'm trying anything and everything to RELAX!!!!!!!! since my mind is shaking in my brain). But anyway, this song is beautiful and it feels as if it was written for this very moment. It feels like it was written for someone going through withdrawal.... at least, if feels like what I wish someone would say to me right now (except I'm obviously keeping this a secret so I haven't allowed anyone to say those things to me) but the song itself is so beautiful and powerful enough to have made me feel better for a moment.
Listen to it. It'll make you feel inspired. And it will make you FEEL again... which is something that many of us have not done in along time.
I don't know if anyone is even here reading any of these anymore, but it makes me feel better to write it down and all. Over the next week, if you don't mind, I'll be here a lot. Some of my posts will probably make more sense than others as I go in and out of light and heavy withdrawal.
I have to work both of my jobs tomorrow... on day 3. I just want to stay in bed and watch TV or listen to inspiring music and take hot baths. But I don't even have a bathtub. All I have is work. How does anyone in this position ever quit? Rehab? I don't think so. I've seen people go through rehab (even people who just barely had a problem) and they have never been treated the same since everyone (including their doctros and loved ones) found out what they had been going through. Many of them have told me that if they had to do it over again, they would have found a way to kick the habit on their own because they ruined their lives by admitting to others that they had a problem. I'm a normal person, just like many of you, who got sucked in by a legitimate medical condition. I wish they could find a way to create effective pain medicine that relieved pain but didn't make you feel so dang good. K - that's enough of my ranting for now. I'm off to figure out how to relax - my brain is shaking.
I just listened to it (as I'm trying anything and everything to RELAX!!!!!!!! since my mind is shaking in my brain). But anyway, this song is beautiful and it feels as if it was written for this very moment. It feels like it was written for someone going through withdrawal.... at least, if feels like what I wish someone would say to me right now (except I'm obviously keeping this a secret so I haven't allowed anyone to say those things to me) but the song itself is so beautiful and powerful enough to have made me feel better for a moment.
Listen to it. It'll make you feel inspired. And it will make you FEEL again... which is something that many of us have not done in along time.
I don't know if anyone is even here reading any of these anymore, but it makes me feel better to write it down and all. Over the next week, if you don't mind, I'll be here a lot. Some of my posts will probably make more sense than others as I go in and out of light and heavy withdrawal.
I have to work both of my jobs tomorrow... on day 3. I just want to stay in bed and watch TV or listen to inspiring music and take hot baths. But I don't even have a bathtub. All I have is work. How does anyone in this position ever quit? Rehab? I don't think so. I've seen people go through rehab (even people who just barely had a problem) and they have never been treated the same since everyone (including their doctros and loved ones) found out what they had been going through. Many of them have told me that if they had to do it over again, they would have found a way to kick the habit on their own because they ruined their lives by admitting to others that they had a problem. I'm a normal person, just like many of you, who got sucked in by a legitimate medical condition. I wish they could find a way to create effective pain medicine that relieved pain but didn't make you feel so dang good. K - that's enough of my ranting for now. I'm off to figure out how to relax - my brain is shaking.
It's me again. Morning of Day 3 and I honestly don't know how I'm even able to be on my computer posting this right now. I feel SO SICK. Diarrhea and extreme nausea have set in. I went to my second job this morning and have no idea how I survived it. The immodium seems to be helping the diarrhea, but I don't know what to do about the nausea. It's the worst! I feel so sick. So so sick.
I managed to get a protein shake down this morning and now I'm trying to drink a protein water, but it's hard. I just took my one half hydrocodone which, if you'll recall, is my entire allotment for the day. I'm hoping that it'll make me feel better, even if it's only for a half hour or so. It's such a small dose for me that it doesn't do much and it doesn't last long... but its better than nothing.
Last night wasn't too bad. I took Excederin PM before bed and slept for a good five hours, then woke up feeling restless and couldn't get back to sleep, so I took two benedryl and that calmed me enough to fall asleep pretty quickly. But then I woke an hour later with severe gas pains which was when the diarrhea started. So I took some immodium and that helped so I was able to go back to sleep. So all things considered, I slept pretty well.
This morning, however, has been pure hell. The diarrhea started again right before I was supposed to head out the door (of course) and the nausea has been HELL. I still have to go to another job today and I had other errands I was supposed to run but I've given up on that and will try again tomorrow.
I'm considering going to my family doctor and telling him that I have the flu so that he can give me some phenergan or something for the nausea. But going to the doc won't work with my schedule today, so if I do go, it'll have to be tomorrrow. But I'm hoping that I feel better tomorrow, although somehow I doubt it.
Okay, I'm going to go rest before I have to go to my other job and try to finish this protein water. Hopefully that half pill will kick in soon and I'll start to feel better for a quick moment. But even ten minutes will be worth it.
Next time I have to do this, I'm taking a week off of work, and I'm going to enlist my docs help to have meds on hand to deal with the withdrawal. This is rough and so hard to do when you still have to work, etc. I wouldn't be doing it right now if I had a choice. I want to, but I just wasn't prepared enough. Having two jobs while going through opiate withdrawal is hell and torture beyond belief. But, I read through these posts and remind myself that I won't die and that it will get better. I hope it'll be soon.
I'll be back later with another update if possible.
I managed to get a protein shake down this morning and now I'm trying to drink a protein water, but it's hard. I just took my one half hydrocodone which, if you'll recall, is my entire allotment for the day. I'm hoping that it'll make me feel better, even if it's only for a half hour or so. It's such a small dose for me that it doesn't do much and it doesn't last long... but its better than nothing.
Last night wasn't too bad. I took Excederin PM before bed and slept for a good five hours, then woke up feeling restless and couldn't get back to sleep, so I took two benedryl and that calmed me enough to fall asleep pretty quickly. But then I woke an hour later with severe gas pains which was when the diarrhea started. So I took some immodium and that helped so I was able to go back to sleep. So all things considered, I slept pretty well.
This morning, however, has been pure hell. The diarrhea started again right before I was supposed to head out the door (of course) and the nausea has been HELL. I still have to go to another job today and I had other errands I was supposed to run but I've given up on that and will try again tomorrow.
I'm considering going to my family doctor and telling him that I have the flu so that he can give me some phenergan or something for the nausea. But going to the doc won't work with my schedule today, so if I do go, it'll have to be tomorrrow. But I'm hoping that I feel better tomorrow, although somehow I doubt it.
Okay, I'm going to go rest before I have to go to my other job and try to finish this protein water. Hopefully that half pill will kick in soon and I'll start to feel better for a quick moment. But even ten minutes will be worth it.
Next time I have to do this, I'm taking a week off of work, and I'm going to enlist my docs help to have meds on hand to deal with the withdrawal. This is rough and so hard to do when you still have to work, etc. I wouldn't be doing it right now if I had a choice. I want to, but I just wasn't prepared enough. Having two jobs while going through opiate withdrawal is hell and torture beyond belief. But, I read through these posts and remind myself that I won't die and that it will get better. I hope it'll be soon.
I'll be back later with another update if possible.
To the guest with the recent posts:
If you do go get a refill I would suggest you start a taper (gradually reduce your dose in a controlled fashion) program with them as soon as you get them. Start a slow and gradual reduction. If done correctly this will allow you to function at work with minimum discomfort. If you feel you cannot do this then possibly try a shorter, weeklong taper. Tapers also help you get ready to function without the substance because you do not get high, rather just take enough to keep the WD symptoms mild.
I will be honest, it takes alot of willpower and hard work. You really have to want to quit.
Also, if you got through day three remember that you are nearing the end of the physical things. Basically, you will start to see improvements every day from that point on.
If you do go get a refill I would suggest you start a taper (gradually reduce your dose in a controlled fashion) program with them as soon as you get them. Start a slow and gradual reduction. If done correctly this will allow you to function at work with minimum discomfort. If you feel you cannot do this then possibly try a shorter, weeklong taper. Tapers also help you get ready to function without the substance because you do not get high, rather just take enough to keep the WD symptoms mild.
I will be honest, it takes alot of willpower and hard work. You really have to want to quit.
Also, if you got through day three remember that you are nearing the end of the physical things. Basically, you will start to see improvements every day from that point on.
Hi. It's me again. Thank you for your support. I'm going to do my best to only use my refill to ease the symptoms of withdrawal and to do a full taper. I realize that will take an enormous amount of will power and restraint, but I'm going to try it. It feels impossible to be going through this while having to work two jobs. However, at this point I am strongly considering not getting the refill at all. The problem is that I truly don't know if I'm strong enough to resist it. Which is why I want my doc in on my plan to get off the meds so that I won't have unlimited refills waiting for me each month. As long as they're available, it's going to take an enormous amount of will power (especially during withdrawal) to resist. Either way, I will be done with them soon. I can't keep going through this every month.
Yesterday (Day 3) was worse than I expected. I did end up going to the doctor to get medicine for the nausea. It was so intense that I felt like I couldn't breathe. And I still had to go to work. I don't know how I didn't just pass out.
Last night I slept okay all things considered. I did have to rely on excederin PM and benedryl to help me sleep, and it wasn't great sleep, but it was okay.... could be so much worse. This morning I'm feeling a little bit better. I feel like I have a sinus headache and I feel very very tired. But the nausea is a bit better (still need the meds) but I don't feel like I'll need any immodium yet. So that's a plus. I do hope things continue to get better. Today I have to work 8 hours and tomorrow I have to work 12 hours. Doing that through withdrawal is hell.
I'll be back later on today to hopefully post that today was better than yesterday. Day 4.... here we go....
Yesterday (Day 3) was worse than I expected. I did end up going to the doctor to get medicine for the nausea. It was so intense that I felt like I couldn't breathe. And I still had to go to work. I don't know how I didn't just pass out.
Last night I slept okay all things considered. I did have to rely on excederin PM and benedryl to help me sleep, and it wasn't great sleep, but it was okay.... could be so much worse. This morning I'm feeling a little bit better. I feel like I have a sinus headache and I feel very very tired. But the nausea is a bit better (still need the meds) but I don't feel like I'll need any immodium yet. So that's a plus. I do hope things continue to get better. Today I have to work 8 hours and tomorrow I have to work 12 hours. Doing that through withdrawal is hell.
I'll be back later on today to hopefully post that today was better than yesterday. Day 4.... here we go....
Day 4 will be better, as long as you have the right attitude which it seems like you do.
I always notice that after day three then I will have a few days that are up and down. Sometimes I will feel good and then later not so good.
I too know what it is like to work going through it, however I must admit that I always taper and then do my final jump off to nothing over the weekend.
Its tough out there right now, we are working more hours for less pay. I know how tempting it is to take something to get you through the day. But if you keep at this, then you will start feeling better quicker then you would think. I always really like hitting day seven and realizing that your body and mind are well on their way to fixing themselves.
Multivitamins and protein shakes if you can take them and afford them. Start to think about exercise at this point, even if its just a short walk. I remember feeling like making it to the end of the street feeling like a major victory lol (gotta have some humor at this point).
I always notice that after day three then I will have a few days that are up and down. Sometimes I will feel good and then later not so good.
I too know what it is like to work going through it, however I must admit that I always taper and then do my final jump off to nothing over the weekend.
Its tough out there right now, we are working more hours for less pay. I know how tempting it is to take something to get you through the day. But if you keep at this, then you will start feeling better quicker then you would think. I always really like hitting day seven and realizing that your body and mind are well on their way to fixing themselves.
Multivitamins and protein shakes if you can take them and afford them. Start to think about exercise at this point, even if its just a short walk. I remember feeling like making it to the end of the street feeling like a major victory lol (gotta have some humor at this point).
Morning of Day 6 and I feel worse today. Day 4 ended up being not so bad. I made it through the workday thinking "wow, what a difference a day makes!". But by the end of the day I had a killer headache and had to spend the evening in bed.
Yesterday (Day 5) was pretty decent. I didn't give an update because I had to work two jobs all day long. But today, I woke up feeling like total c**p. I'm shaky and jittery and having a difficult time. I have to work again today, in fact, I have no idea when my next day off will be. I know it won't be for at least 11 days and that's only if I request that particular day off from my second job. Just thinking about that makes me feel worse. I'm very tired.
I hope today gets better. I took my last half-pill yesterday and so I really am out now until Monday. I had hoped to feel better today so that I wouldn't feel the need to get my refill. We'll see. As of right now, I really wish I wasn't feeling this way.
As far as exercise goes, one of my jobs requires me to be pretty dang active and I usually break a killer sweat (which is hard when you feel like you're going to pass out or vomit!).
Anyway, we'll see how the rest of today and tomorrow goes... but on Day 6 I was hoping that I would be feeling a lot better than I do right now.
Yesterday (Day 5) was pretty decent. I didn't give an update because I had to work two jobs all day long. But today, I woke up feeling like total c**p. I'm shaky and jittery and having a difficult time. I have to work again today, in fact, I have no idea when my next day off will be. I know it won't be for at least 11 days and that's only if I request that particular day off from my second job. Just thinking about that makes me feel worse. I'm very tired.
I hope today gets better. I took my last half-pill yesterday and so I really am out now until Monday. I had hoped to feel better today so that I wouldn't feel the need to get my refill. We'll see. As of right now, I really wish I wasn't feeling this way.
As far as exercise goes, one of my jobs requires me to be pretty dang active and I usually break a killer sweat (which is hard when you feel like you're going to pass out or vomit!).
Anyway, we'll see how the rest of today and tomorrow goes... but on Day 6 I was hoping that I would be feeling a lot better than I do right now.