Hey everyone,
I need some help. My boyfriend doesn't want to admit that he is suffering from depression and he thinks that his view on everything is pure realistic. We have been dating for 3 years now and he has been like this for the past two months.
He isn't leaving his house. He isn't leaving his room, to be precise. He isn't talking to his friends anymore, he barely even wants to talk to me. His friends already gave up on him, but I'm not giving up, I know that he can fight this, can you please tell me how can I possibly help him?
I'll still give you a piece of advice regarding your problem: depressed people want to be listened to. They don't want your advice, they don't want your philosophy, they just want someone who is going to be there and actually listen to what they are saying.
Well, if you don't know how to handle a depressed person, it might be good to stay away. If you make wrong moves, you will just make the person more depressed and this person is likely to start hating you or just not wanting to have to do anything with you anymore.
IHadEnough is right, depressed people just want to be listened to, nothing else. Other than listening to your boyfriend, there is nothing else that you can do. This can be rather hard if you think that he is talking nonsense during your conversation which is usually the case with depressed people.
I have a friend who was dating a depressed guy. She tried her best to help him for a month and she eventually gave up.
I'm not the kind of person who thinks that giving up is a good thing to do, if you are with someone, you are supposed to be at their side even when things get bad, especially when things get bad. I know it's hard but nobody can know better than you how worthy it is or if it is worthy at all. So do whatever you can to help him, be there for him, he needs you now more than ever.
Yes, Nina, I don't want to leave him. We've already been through a lot and I don't want to leave him now, I want to help him. I just saw a movie about someone who is depressed and I have to tell you that I am so scared and I hope that my boyfriend doesn't start behaving like the person in the movie and I hope that he gets out of this condition because the person from the movie never did.
I will do whatever it takes to make him feel better, even if that means to stay away from him.
That's the spirit, Guest, I really consider you to be a great person and a sensible person because of your attitude towards this whole situation.
Well, you will see for yourself what you should do. First focus on listening to him. Then you will see what to do next. If you think at any point that it would be wiser to stay away from him for a period of time, you can do it, but don't make it for too long, otherwise he will think that you have abandoned him and it will be hard for you to get back to him then.
I am talking from a guy's perspective here who keeps finding and dating depressed girl (mild cases).
I don't know why but I seem to be a magnet for depressed girls. They found security with me and feel kind of rescued from the world surrounding them. However, I did not do anything special to make them feel this way. I mean, I am there whenever they need me, I always listen to them and I do the tiny things that make them happy. But as the time goes by, it always becomes unbearable and I eventually leave, just like I broke up with one today.
Of course, girl should gave a piece of space to her boyfriend but she also should let him know that she is always there, no matter what. So, depressed people are people who like to talk to someone and you should definitely offer him a talk whenever he is depressed. You will help him.
Anyway, if you are sure that something is going bad with him and you obviously noticed that he is anti - social guy, you need to try to give him a little space, but not that much - you need to stay close to him to show him that you are still there and that you are going to help him, no matter what.
I was in the similar situation and my boyfriend dumped me because I was depressed, he just couldn't deal with it. Now, when I think about this, I just wanted someone to be close to me, someone who is going to listen to me and someone to hug me occasionally, letting me know that he is still here, with me. That I am not alone. I think that this is something that you should do when it comes to your boyfriend because I do know how ugly is the feeling when you are depressed and there is no one around you to listen to you.