how to stay in love with a bipolar person

Is cheating and lying(when suspicions grow) about it common with bipolar? I looked at my partners phone the other day and saw messages on a chat program. She was saying 'hi sexy', 'I was thinking of you today', 'have to get rid of your girlfriend' and 'fancy me coming for a visit?'. Her last message was dated earlier that day and they were all within the last few days. I obviously confronted her about it and she didn't seem one bit shocked or suspicious. Just said it was someone she met on a site before we met(on a site) and she hadn't spoken to him in ages. She could and didn't even try to explain the date and times of the messages and I really don't know what to do. I have read that it's part of the manic symptoms. I love her more than I have ever loved anyone and don't want to lose her. At the same time I don't want to make a complete arse of myself. I'd appreciate any advice you guys may have.

So many posts here have echoed my experience with my gf. I do not usually go on forums, but this was such an important incident for me that I had to add to it. The manic depression and bipolar moods of my now ex gf tore me apart, and no matter how much I liked her, it is not my job to make her happy, and not her job to mentally abuse me. I was with her for a month. I could put up with her mood when I did not care for her, but when I began to feel for her, she noticed, and the hurt she gave came to me more. She very quickly told me about her abusive mother and her condition. No one’s life is perfect, and I was lonely at the time so tried to help her. She was the most beautiful woman, so intelligent that I just stood and listened. She would try to push me away then next minute would be saying she missed me. Pretend to dump me or want a break, then ring me 20 times a day. I am generally level headed, but she said I have to be strong with her and be sensitive - I am not superman. I never said a bad word about her only complimented her and treated her like a princess. What ended it was the constant provocation. The ritual lying to make me worked up. And that her best friend is her ex, fine. But she says she sleeps in the same bed with him but does not have sex. If she cannot find a good female friend then I can only guess why other women hate her. I had no proof of this, only her words, and her words were disturbing enough. When I split with her she said to go out with other women and with her as well. That only made me 100% sure I was doing the right thing. I only wanted her, not other women. My advise to others would be to either stay with her and go to therapy with her to help her, or get out quickly before feelings get involved. Or come back in a month or a year if her condition improves. It is like letting a snake into your house then complaining afterwards that it bit you. There are enough women out there who if you treat them good, they will be good to you. Overall a very complicated situation, and I can empathise with many of these replies.

Same here. I am dating a kinda-bipolar girl. Are all girls like that?? I've been dating her for almost 3 years now (I'm 23 and she's 19). We both in our college years. I feel that she is always get mad at me for something she will do later. Like, She will be mad at me for having many new female friends but when she got a lot of stranger friend requests by dudes in facebook she will say, "it's different". She curses at me when mad and scream at me, but when I scream at her I will be dead for sure. I feel that many times she is being irrational and want to be admired by other guys (even she has no real interest in em, just purely attentions). One minute she could be very lovey-dovey and nice to me and in another minute she could be as cold as arctic or be very mean. It's always "my way or I go away", I hate it.

I have gone through much of what everyone here has complained of. It is a difficult battle. People with this disorder are also very difficult to get away from. Many times, they will make you feel as though, you are the one that's crazy. It makes you doubt yourself, and just as one of the guest writers wrote, it drains your patience to a level of true misery. I absolutely love my boyfriend, but his mood swings were almost too much. After we discussed him getting help he approached me with the idea to take St. John's Wort (vitamin) first and if that didn't help he would go back to see a therapist. It worked!!! Does he still have mood swings, yes, are the to much to handle, no, and the best part is the are rare and he can basically predict when they are coming and I know to walk on ice. The counselor he saw before we got together had recommended he take it and he never did, mostly because he thought he knew better (which I also think is a bi polar thing[temporary invincibility]). Anyway, try it, the worst that can happen is nothing changes.

i am in a similar situation, i love my girlfriend, we have been together for a bit over a year. she has BPD i really love her, but it is hard because she loves me to pieces one seccond then like the flick of a switch she is really mad at me (for example i call at the wrong time and she bites me head off) she has only had one violent out burst at me. but she had a bad ex and i parrinoied i will be like him, so she pushes me away then pulls me close. -i know it is normal for some one with BPD, but how do you cope with it?- then i am immature and she don't want to be with me any more, and says she cant go because i wont let her, but i cant stop her, why does she feel so dependant and constricted at the same time?

Jack52 wrote:

WOW!!

I must say, that in my experiences with my bipolar gf, I have experienced many of the exact same things! I have been with my girlfriend for a year (this month) and this is definately not a relationship for the weak of heart, or unsure of resolve.

She would have extremes of highs and lows that changed within the blink of an eye!! One moment completely pissed off over some ridiculous thing that I would never understand, and the next she would be completely in love.. The problem was, that after all the fights, after all the hateful things she has said to me, neither do I have the patience that I once had.. By the time she has a lightning quick change from deppression or anger to tha manic side, I am thoroughly pissed off and completely unforgiving, and she just cannot understand why I cannot just be happy with her like she is even when I scream at her that I am NOT bipolar!!!

Don't get me wrong, she always feels sorry for her uncalled for attacks, and I realize it at the time, and know that she doesn't really mean it, or will at least regret it later, but I am beginning to become so tired of the endless battles and my patience wears thin.

She too, is much the hypocrite, screaming and cursing at complete strangers, or worse, close friends (usually mine) for complete, and utter wrongs, that she has herself committed only moments previously or will in moments to come. But when pointed out to her, "It's different." And always will be when it comes to her...

I have lost all but my two closest friends, going from very popular, to feeling sorry for, to "dude, what tha ****?" to "just forget it" as I blew off all my friends and any parties to "spend my time with HER." Because otherwise, she wasn't happy, and I was apparently "cheating on her" just by being around other people, strangely, even guys!!!

My girlfriend, who has had two kids from a previous relationship also talks quite frequently of her Ex's and how she still cares about them (always will) and the only reason for breaking up was for stupid things (though I wonder if they just couldn't stand her anymore...) But then she will turn around and tell me how she loves me so much, and always will, and love no one else!! (though I feel so paranoid as she continues to go to parites all the time, getting drunk with people known to enjoy sex with women in relations, and her best friends she terms herself, are whores. Not to mention that if situations were swapped, and i was partyin while she spent entire day studyin her ass off.......???? Death and destruction would come about!!!) And I am always reminded that I most definately have the biggest penis she has ever seen in her life..... (ironic?)

To say the least, she is confusing as hell, but not without her rewards. I love her deeply, have the greatest sex ever with her, and live to see her smile!! The only reason for my above comments are to warn any who seek a realationship with a bipolar female....
It WILL be DIFFICULT!! And if you donnot go into the relationship expecting all this, and worse, than you go into battle blindfolded and have no chance of survival. Also, only to be fair, you must look at yourself, and ask yourself, "Am i strong enough for this?"

Hope this sheds enlightenment on any decision, and goodluck to all who are in similiar relations!

I only came on here to see how different relationships can in actual fact be the same when you live with and or love a bi polar sufferer but to this one comment i want to say thankyou... thankyou for making me realise how unbelievably worth it my Fiance is although i have only seen a fraction of what other have (yet surprisingly still quite alot) i still have stuck by her i love her with all my heart and this just made me realise how much i want to be with her. I agree though to all those who think its too hard who perhaps dont have it in them for constant arguments, occasional emotional blackmail and the highs and very low lows then rethink how much you care for the person if after everything you have been through you still come to the conclusion that you love him/her and want to be there for them kudos and good luck :)

Hi guys...

Almost everything mentioned here is happening between me and my girlfriend. I thought I was the only one. I think I have been emotionally scarred through all this. Reading some of these replies made me cry. Love to you all, and good luck!

Hey. I just started to date this girl who is bi polar. She actually just hung up on me. But I feel I finally found the perfect girl for me! We both said that we're the one for eachother. And I truly feel that. But her recent ex is also bi polar, and I hate this kid. I mean I absolutely hate this f**ker! He cheated on her 6 times! And he says he still loves her. He pisses me off, and she actually talks to him! I want to trust her, but I know she used to love him, and she sometimes does cute little statuses on his facebook, and claims to me she hates his guts! She also makes statuses saying how much she loves me, or the rare how much she hates her ex. I just dont want to lose her, especially to her ex. I know she deserves way better than him. I guess, my question is, can I trust her around her exs? And do not forget, I truly love her and I always want to be her.

i know wat your feeling my bipolar girlfriend just broke up with me and moved to the city with her psycho ex that have a kid together that i was more of a father too we were together for 3 years it was shaky at times but we had so much passion and love together i thought we were soulmates we got engaged and been engaged for 6 months we were waiting for money to get the wedding set she was on a good stack of medicine that was helping her she would work out and clean everyday and be the happiest person to see me when i got home but i had a stressful job and i would bring it home to her and lash out at her and she was being the sweetest to me and i regret every minute of it how i was to her and it pushed her away put her in to depression which made her think it was the medicine so she had the doctor change it witch through her into a maniac stage that still goin on to this day the meds she is on now keeps her from loving me like she use to and keeping her from being happy with me i have alot to blame for this and wish i could take it all back cuz i feel like i lost her for good and i dont want that cuz i truly deeply love her and im going through hell ive lost alot of stuff cuz of her maniac stage she pawned everything just to go to the casino which she never went to before and her so called friend got her into that im jus hoping her being up there will make her realize we have a great loving life together now that ive done my research on bipolar i have a better understanding but hers is not that bad it can be controlled with the rite meds i jus want her back on them wen we first met she wasnt on meds she wasnt aware that she was bipolar she was 43 and i was 26 at the time but she is so beautiful and has a banging body she looks so young the first time we met sparks flew and on the 4th day we were making love and it was passionate she said she never made love like that that she loved it so much there was many times we would argue over stupid stuff and it got to the point she didnt want to do it anymore so she kicked me out sumtimes it was for 4 or 5 day or a week but i kept apologyzing tellin her ive changed she took me back things would go great for a couple weeks than the arguing would start again this went on for a long time then one time we argued and she kicked me out and i kept trying to call her for 2 weeks no answer so i met another girl she was 20 and pretty we went out for a week and during that week we had sex and ive talking to my ex daughter the whole time i was with this new girl and i was acting happy that i didnt want her back and told her i have ben having sex with this girl and she told her mom it crushed her she still had my flat screen t.v. it was after thanksgiving of 2010 i text her to tell her im coming for my t.v. and we started talkin i could tell she was heartbroken but i also was thinking about her alot even when i was with this other girl anyways she asked me if i had sex with that girl and of course i said no then she flew off the hinges and said your lying my daughter told me you told her u was so i paused for a minute and told her the truth she got real angry said she shattered my t.v. and that i will never have a chance with her ever again that crushed me i was devastated for my own mistake then she txt back saying she forgives me and she will take me back that gave me hope again i felt happy so i said yes called the other girl and broke it off with her and she got mad at me and threaten me i blew it off and called my ex and said its done so she told me to come over with a six pack we can do sum drinking and talk hence she lives 21 miles from me at the time so as i got there and went into the room were she was she was smiling happy to c me anyways she handed me a letter that she wrote on my way down there i read and cried it was the most deep feeling ive ever seen from her it showed me she truly loved me and wanted to spend the rest of her life with me we had even more passionate sex that nite but while we were talking i tried telling her i didnt mean for this to happen but you wouldnt answer me for two weeks but it hurt her so bad and she just started crying so i grabbed her in my arms cried with her and said i was so sorry then our relationship went good for a while until her medicine was changed about 6 months ago thats wen she was in a constant maniac stage totally changed her she wasnt the same person i knew and i blame the doctors cuz they messed up my life with the 1 i truly love and i know behind the meds shes on know she truly still loves me ive tried dating other girls but i just cant do it i love her with all my heart and i dont want nobody but her she is my soulmate and i pray ever nite that her maniac will receed and she will realize that too so she can get back on the rite meds and we can have our loving life back together ive always ben there for her shes always ben good with her money paying her bills and taking care of her son until recently even her son has notice shes not the same im 29 now and she is 46 still beautiful as ever will she b back the way she was i hope and pray evernite she does we r doing taxes together this year just waiting on my w2 but im hoping this is the opportunity that will brings us back together and get her back on the rite meds cuz the one she is staying with now was a physical and mental abuser made her scared for her life thats how i know shes not in her rite mind now cuz she went back to that thanks for hearing my story and pray for me and my loved one please thank you

Hi , whats your status now ? still with her?

It seems my ex girlfriend is bi polar, i never realized it till now because all the things she is doing are similar to what you guys are facing.

its ben a little over three weeks now no word from her found out recently shes engaged to that ugly fat psycho after 12 days of being u there he makes more money than me and i know hes manipulating her saying he will by her everything cuz she had that from me i spoiled her but i lost my good paying job cuz of her i was always going out of town every week and she hated me being gone and i was getting tired of it too that was last september and thats wen everything went down hill it was a couple of months until i got another job the pay aint worth a sh*t but it was still a job but she got money hungery she went out and cheated on me and then gave me sex the next day not knowing wat she did it disgust me that she did that she has totally changed i dont know this woman any more she is so evil and she use to be a true christian woman wouldnt cuz and would praise the lord everyday but now she lies cheats and steals its like she would sell sex for money wat the hell has happened to her were is the woman that was in love with me im still in misery cuz i love her so much im able to forgive her just to have her back in my arms

Hello im daniel edward paul and i have bi-polar so i know what to say, most people with bipolarAka manic depression are seperated into multiple bipoler such as bipolar 1 or 2 the reason she wants to be left alon is because she is having a manic episode a manic episode is when you are somtimes happy and or extremly sexualy atracted and then you go to a sometimes anxiety, anger,hopelessnes,guilt,in a very quick state but you dont always do a mood change sometimes, in severe cases you may have symptoms very similar to skitzophrenia she may hear things that arent their or see things that arent ther bipolar people are extremely aggressive so they usually do this when they are EXTREMLY ANGRY like HEART ATTACK ANGRY just remember since we feel like were outcast leave her alone when shes angry but my advise is to tell her you love her, this will make her confidence rise, she may have random emotions as i spoke of, she is just relaxing her anger. if she is not on medication get a phychiatrist she may think thats for crazies. But will be much much happier

well she is on medication andshe went back to her psychotic ex that use to abuse her alot and her son shes chasing money wen she never did before in our relationship and 12 days she was up there she was saying shes in love with him and there getting married my question is why the hell she wud do that give up on a beautiful house we were buying wud ben paid off in 7 years and she cheated on me which she never did before she acts like a totaly different person she said she wasnt happy anymore shes on celexia and abilify and zanax for anxiety she got addicted to the casino got me in a bind finacialy then runs off wat happened to the woman that said she was in love and happy with me i dnt understand?