how to stay in love with a bipolar person

this was a very touching post.. and everything you said in this i can surely relate to..THANK YOU

My ex boyfriend is bipolar - we dated 10 months the first month he broke up with me out of no where and texted me the next day saying he wanted to get back. I was mad because he broke up with me for no reason, so I ignored his texts. When i arrived home there were flowers and a nice card stating he was sorry blah blah blah. Fast forward - he's never said he loved me only really really liked me a lot. He stated there is something wrong with his brain and he doesn't know if he can love anyone - I still stayed like an id**t, I must say he was never mean to me only distant and selfish. We never did anything I wanted to do only what he wanted to do. Prior to breaking up with me 3 weeks ago there was no sex for months and for the last month the affection dwindled to nothing. The day he breaks up with me he tells me no girl has treated him this well ever and I am his best friend - he is breaking up with me because there is a reason why he can't say he loves me and something is missing from the relationship, but wants to stay friends. I haven't contacted him nor has he contacted me in three weeks we went from talking and texting 7 times a day and seeing each other 5 times a week to nothing. A friend of mine found him on a dating site less than a week after us breaking up - I was extremely hurt at first but after no contact I'm slowly getting better i was depressed from being around him and I am starting to feel much better. All I can say is run from them he adored me the first 7 months and we never fought, however this was mostly due to me walking on eggshells - he was extremely jealous. I pity his next victim and if he ever contacts me again I will ignore. It's not worth your self esteem!! I'd rather be alone then ever let someone take me down as far as I went with him - I take full responsibility for staying in the relationship now I must take full responsibility for getting out of it. I went through trying to help him take natural herbs (because he won't take meds or even go to a doctor) and being understanding and helping him through his depressed stages - it doesn't matter at the end of the day they will make you almost as sick as they are. I know he can't help it but it will continue to happen as long as we the sane ones allow it. It's still hard because there were very good times we did have a connection but I will make myself move on. Take the energy you used being the caretaker and obsessing over why they broke up with you and put it towards getting yourself better. Sometimes in life we need to be selfish and think about ourselves. Most people that get involved in these situations are good caring people lets start caring about ourselves first. I can honestly say I am feeling better every day. I pinch myself hard every time I start obsessing over him it really works. Good luck to everyone out there!!

My boyfriend is the same way. We have been together for 5 months and we also live together. In the beginning, it was mostly wonderful. He was always touching me in some way (arm, leg, ect) and always wanted to hold me and cuddle. I know things change after the honeymoon stage, but he really did a 180 on me. Today, he told me on the phone that he would like to come home and not talk. He was tired from working. What I didn't realize is that he did not want me to talk at all! I am not talking about having extensive conversations, I am talking about the fact that if I even said a word or asked him a question about anything or tried to talk about my day or ask about his. Any word that came out of my mouth made him so angry. He didn't smile at all. I got upset because how can you expect your partner to not speak at all from 2pm til we go to bed!? Then we got in a fight about it and he left for 3 and a half hours with no picking up of the phone or anything. When he is happy, he is the best boyfriend a girl could ask for, but when he is moody, it is so hard for me to not think it's me and it's so hard to understand how my boyfriend can be so irritated and annoyed with me and want me to just leave him alone and not talk! I end up crying and I have anxiety issues, so it doesn't help my anxiety at all. I just never know what to do, if I can talk, if he will be angry, if I am crazy for being with him... It's so hard because there is no emotional stability and it affects how I feel. I don't know how to feel happy when my boyfriend is angry with me and I don't understand why. I love him and I would really like to find a way to work through this, but I am afraid that I may not be strong enough for the both of us.

I know exactly what you are going through. My BF of 4 years is moving out from Colorado to be with me, we meet in high school then 30 years connected on FB. We have been together back and fourth for this four years, and he is now moving in with me. I am really worried about supportting him because I can't, I still have a teenage son at home, he tells me he will get a job yet hasn't hadone for four years. He has taken care of his Dad for four years living free all this time,I find it hard to beleive it will change, it is hard because I love him but very unsure if this is the right move.

I have a guy friend that comes in an out of my life.  He knows that something is wrong, but he won't seek help.  I am now quite certain he is bipolar.  He contacts me maybe once a year for about two months.  Things are usually okay for about two weeks and then there is the inevitable decline and I won't hear from him again for another 10 months.  I have dated people in between, but he always seems to catch me at weak moment.  When he returns, I try to keep it as a friendship, because I know I am going to get hurt again, but he always convinces me somehow that it's not me, it's his depression issues and it won't happen again.  I guess I like when things are good with him, so I always hold out hope that things will be different.  I always know when he is going to drop off because he starts pushing me away.  He asks me what I want from him and he doesn't call or return texts.  Once he stops responding to me, I just don't call him anymore, and he always comes back at some point. I've tried to tell him how much it hurts me, but unless he's in that little window period where he is okay, he seems unfazed by it.  He says he is indifferent to everything and seems totally disconnected.  I know that there is something wrong and he can't help it.  I go through a million different emotions a day when I am with him...empathy, pain, anger.  It's a roller coaster of emotions.  It's hard to be with someone when you are afraid to just call them to say hello.  I wish he would get some help. It's hard to watch someone be so unhappy. I am usually a happy person.  The only time I am truly miserable is when I am with him. I don't know why I put myself through the pain. I guess that is a subject for a different forum.

RUN RUN RUN..

Hi I just broke up with my bipolar girlfriend after 1yr of. Cheating lying and theft. She d break up go cheat n party. After 1to3 weeks she d be back for 3r4months mnemonic do it. Again after Ayr. Of trying to understand her. And why.why why I will be avoid n. He. My mental health n peace of mind family n friends feelings are more important to. Me. K. I like games.LOL just not mind games...k..

my girlfriend is going thru a bad bipolar episode she is pushing everyone by telling them and me to f**k off, but with me she has taken it a step further than that by saying she is with her fiancee now her mother who is her next door neighbor says no one has come been to house and that prior to this episode i was the only man she talked about, this time last week she was talking about naming our future son andrew and literally 48 hours later i got a random text from her telling me not to ever call or text her again and her mom called me later that night saying she yelled at them and said she didnt need them or anybody and everybody i have spoken to has said to bare with her and let it pass, but how cause that hurt so bad and i lost my temper with her and i left her a very angry message but that was before i did research and began trying to understand her.

hi, I would just like to offer my thanks for all your input.  I recently met someone who has become very special to me.  we have been dating for almost four months and she recently broke it off because we were moving too fast.  though she still texts me at night.  she is sending me mixed messages and im still around waiting for her to snap out of it.  she warned me about this before we became a couple and im very supportive of her needs.  I love her very much and I will continue to be with her when shes ready.  she tends to sleep a lot when she gets depressed.  I just offer to be there for her and she appreciates it.  we dont live together so its easy for me to give her space.  she says just wants to be friends now and while that hurts a lot I dont want to let her go.  I thought at first she met someone else but now I know its just her condition. 

Almost an identical carbon copy to my situation. Been with this girl 8 months now like a yo-yo. Never have I taken the sh*t off all the women I'd been with before put together as I have with this one! Yea the one that really made me realize what a dumb@s& I had become was actually believing the friend lying in the bed with her while they drank vodka all night while I was working 10 hour shifts. Even noticed a few of my sex-med stimulant pills were missing the other nite. Her answer..I don't give a damn what Chad takes while he's over here of ur shi^, U don't tell me who I'll have in my apt. She lost her job, so I'M the ONE paying for HER apt that she has guys over who are just friends and does nothing with while I work a hard labor low paying job all nite!! I'm 51 folks, how the hell did I grow so niave? She's 32 and a beauty, a lovely person on the good days in which I fell in love with deeply but I have to realize and do now thank God I found this forum that no matter my LOVE for her that she has and will continue fu*c(in around and I'll b the fool. GAME OVER...gettin my sh*t out tomorrow. Oh yea and by the way the apt is 2 doors down from her alcoholic mother who beat her and abused her as a child to the point of her running away and selling herself at a tender age just to live. b***h tried to come in and fight me this a.m after getting a good buzz. DAMMIT I'm THRU. I've been with several women in my lifetime but never have I loved one as I do this one. It hurts my soul to think of being without her but I must and NOW!! TY

ALLEN IS THAT U?

I can relate to u. My bf is the same exact way. In the beginning he never felt the need to take his medications. Now since our last break up which lasted about a week he has been doing so much better. We have been together 7 months already.

Girls sometimes just want his own space,She is individual,but you should take care of her when she want have console.My girlfriend always like that.

seriously GET OUT while u can. Was married for 14yrs with one. They lie. They spend money like CRAZY. Cheat. Steal. Deceitful. Some really really really scary stuff. I battled to save our marriage and family for a long time. Finally took my two little girls and got the hell out. Life was very depressing for everyone. Even though u might love her, do your future a huge favor and get out. It was hard but the single best thing I did for my kids and me. Seriously good luck.

Takes allot of support to deal with some one with bipolar, in my case I delt with bs all the time of the same kind everyone here is describing. I left the relationship, trying numerous times to get her help. The guy she's with now is homeless and so is she. I see myself being him if I would have stuck around in the relationship. I saw sociopathic behavior the whole time from her, though I don't believe it's all her fault. She could have atleast tried to improve, Like take meds instead of drugs, from what I knew she lived a very hardlife. Nearly all her family were drug addicts, and more then a few homeless at one time. Her life surrounded by wickedness as she was growing up, felt compelled to be there when I was. The Good gesture turned into a living nightmare, from what I've experienced with her was it's more of a intentional rather then the illness itself. There's people out there with same illness that live close to normal lives, then there's others that do really sociopathic things to others and themselves.