Hi Dawn, theyve not stated how long it would be to wait for housing.
Today, well mum rang, and she speaks to the children though me, then organises things via them...always been the way, I feel like I am being controlled by EVERYOne!! Then my sister, well she gives me this attitude if I dont do as she wants-im exhausted by all of it.. Dont get me wrong, my mum my sister , i wonder, (oh nevermind) I do love them, but why do I even find them manipulative-why cant people just be down right honest, mum just did this thing, and at the end of the conversation she said"Oh all right then, I want pressurize you".....Im thinking you still are by saying that...now doing the ( dont feel guilty , dont feel guilty, I am a mum too thing)
Whats worse is my ex knows all my feelings on these issues and it doesnt help! Hes been really nice latley and weirdo man, well I managed a dinner last night-Ive noticed a change in my eating patterns too, and mr weirdoo kept doing this o.O o.O o.O o.O o.O when I ate my dinner in front of him. Ive noticed too, Ive put on tons of weight, but not even bothered. Normally d be hard on myself, like shift that dead quick.
I had a nightmare last night about my dad-it was so real, but thankfully it wasnt!
Anyway, ENOUGH about me! Hope your doing better - youve had some strikers this week! So Ill stop moaning.
I must admit I feel better that Ive applied for housing, but there is a part of me thats so used to where and how I live that I feel like I am holding back...then I get angry with myself..I mean (the children ganged up on him last night...you wouldnt have seen anyting like it before-eneded up having to calm them down and then felt really guilty.
My black eye is getting better, and I can feel a bump in my ribs (that wasnt thre before) but ok, i tried a sneeze yesterdayand caught that pain again, but it must only have been bruising as Im feling better allready!
Oh I am waffling, Ill give you peace
Take care Of you and family, katy
Today, well mum rang, and she speaks to the children though me, then organises things via them...always been the way, I feel like I am being controlled by EVERYOne!! Then my sister, well she gives me this attitude if I dont do as she wants-im exhausted by all of it.. Dont get me wrong, my mum my sister , i wonder, (oh nevermind) I do love them, but why do I even find them manipulative-why cant people just be down right honest, mum just did this thing, and at the end of the conversation she said"Oh all right then, I want pressurize you".....Im thinking you still are by saying that...now doing the ( dont feel guilty , dont feel guilty, I am a mum too thing)
Whats worse is my ex knows all my feelings on these issues and it doesnt help! Hes been really nice latley and weirdo man, well I managed a dinner last night-Ive noticed a change in my eating patterns too, and mr weirdoo kept doing this o.O o.O o.O o.O o.O when I ate my dinner in front of him. Ive noticed too, Ive put on tons of weight, but not even bothered. Normally d be hard on myself, like shift that dead quick.
I had a nightmare last night about my dad-it was so real, but thankfully it wasnt!
Anyway, ENOUGH about me! Hope your doing better - youve had some strikers this week! So Ill stop moaning.
I must admit I feel better that Ive applied for housing, but there is a part of me thats so used to where and how I live that I feel like I am holding back...then I get angry with myself..I mean (the children ganged up on him last night...you wouldnt have seen anyting like it before-eneded up having to calm them down and then felt really guilty.
My black eye is getting better, and I can feel a bump in my ribs (that wasnt thre before) but ok, i tried a sneeze yesterdayand caught that pain again, but it must only have been bruising as Im feling better allready!
Oh I am waffling, Ill give you peace
Take care Of you and family, katy
Dont be daft!!!! ;-) A bump means that you HAVE had damage to your bone, as in scar tissue. But of course you WONT go and get it checked! You know I will start using reverse psychology with you. KATY Do NOT go to the Doctors - DO you hear me?!!!!! I DON'T want you to get HELP! You stay at home and suffer in peace, do you HEAR ME WOMAN!!!!!! ;-) XD There! does it make you want to go to the doctors now!!! SHEEZ!!!
Anyway your a punching bag, just like me! We take it and take it, so they give it and give it! It's classic, we are picked on and abused because THEY CAN!!! It's just up to us to stand up for ourselves.
Actually got to go and help my dad, I look like a bloody id**t with these badaids on my head and my hair in a bun!!!! Anyway worse things heh kiddo? Talk to you later my Scottish "STubborn" Friend!!! 8-| XD
Anyway your a punching bag, just like me! We take it and take it, so they give it and give it! It's classic, we are picked on and abused because THEY CAN!!! It's just up to us to stand up for ourselves.
Actually got to go and help my dad, I look like a bloody id**t with these badaids on my head and my hair in a bun!!!! Anyway worse things heh kiddo? Talk to you later my Scottish "STubborn" Friend!!! 8-| XD
You made me laugh :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D My sister is coming round tonight and I am refusing to go to Wick! Just as I fel really insecure about the situation here. I never showered today 9 yuck!) and just been lazing about...thinking why , why why???/ Put 6 yr old in a buggie so I could make it to the shops without great fus. then made them dinner and he eats it..Grrrr!!!!
Anyway, Im going to chill tonight....NOBOY bully me ...is a chant in my head.....Been listening to Michael jackson "They dot care about us" brill song.....and now I am in this satet of why? and is it really that bad...or is that the drug? Keep having the (oh nevermind) and its disgusting..my stomach does this thin and you hear it, I dont even feel it ..then zooooom I have to go....whats that all about?
Lampost got it yesterday..and I dont know I think my eyes are wobbiling about too, yes I am a wibble wobble, almost like being a toddler again,,,,try crawling...no one cares anyway ( ha ha!). Then if I did that would the police come and get me?
Is your dad ok? Hope you dont mind me asking!
Anyway, Im going to chill tonight....NOBOY bully me ...is a chant in my head.....Been listening to Michael jackson "They dot care about us" brill song.....and now I am in this satet of why? and is it really that bad...or is that the drug? Keep having the (oh nevermind) and its disgusting..my stomach does this thin and you hear it, I dont even feel it ..then zooooom I have to go....whats that all about?
Lampost got it yesterday..and I dont know I think my eyes are wobbiling about too, yes I am a wibble wobble, almost like being a toddler again,,,,try crawling...no one cares anyway ( ha ha!). Then if I did that would the police come and get me?
Is your dad ok? Hope you dont mind me asking!
You see no wonder I ended up with bloody orange and yellow hair, I have you at one end of the country - the usual STUBBORN SCOT and my dad from the other end the STUBBORN WELSHMAN!!!!!!!! 8-| >:( o.O ;-) I tell ya! Between you both not listening to me and being surrounded by moody boys. No wonder I take pills!!!!! ;-) XD
He's doing better thankyou, he just wont listen to the doctors or me - SOUND FAMILIAR!!!!!? And refuses to take his meds then I have to rush him to the doctors or the hospital. They tell him off, actually they have classified him as "Non Compliant!"!!!! Which is a bad thing to have on your record. He only does something when he is in a REALLY BAD WAY!!! Sound Familiar!!!!? ;-) XD
I really really really really really feel that you need to be seen by a Ear Nose and Throat Specialist! Can you imagine if they can help you Katy? I know you are starting to have REAL feelings for the black lampost!!!!! ;-) XD But lets try and get you to someone that isn't so "Cold"!!! LOL OK you have to realize that I live in Canada - what the heck is a Wick?!!! Also don't let her put too much pressure on you or make you feel overwhelmed, you HAVE to take care of yourself 1st!
By the way does - he who shall not be mentioned - mention your eyes being black!!!!?
He's doing better thankyou, he just wont listen to the doctors or me - SOUND FAMILIAR!!!!!? And refuses to take his meds then I have to rush him to the doctors or the hospital. They tell him off, actually they have classified him as "Non Compliant!"!!!! Which is a bad thing to have on your record. He only does something when he is in a REALLY BAD WAY!!! Sound Familiar!!!!? ;-) XD
I really really really really really feel that you need to be seen by a Ear Nose and Throat Specialist! Can you imagine if they can help you Katy? I know you are starting to have REAL feelings for the black lampost!!!!! ;-) XD But lets try and get you to someone that isn't so "Cold"!!! LOL OK you have to realize that I live in Canada - what the heck is a Wick?!!! Also don't let her put too much pressure on you or make you feel overwhelmed, you HAVE to take care of yourself 1st!
By the way does - he who shall not be mentioned - mention your eyes being black!!!!?
Hey dawn, -yes he does mention , my bruising! But my black eye was not what took over this week, the pain in my ribs did though-though its not half as bad! Ive the docs on Monday and I shall ask him, but scared. Also, my application for housing, well its not seen the blackness of the old post box...for some reason I couldnt send it...something is holding me back. he ( who id rather nto talk about) well hes been really kind, even came home and hoovered.
Gosh-I dont know whats on my mediacl records, but "non-compliant"may well be one of them i dont knkow. I cant help but think , theres something more wrong-this cant just be anxiety, Ive been anxious all my life, and always been able to fight it, and either got myself into depressed states..You wouldnt believe what I was like after sitting my higher english, I howled for weks believing Id failed- I only got a B in the end but well I was delighted with that at that time. I spent most of my sixth year isolated and sleeping-didtn really give a damn about what I wa good at or not.
This is the thing dawn, the truth is its haunted me for so long and anxiety does bring about some depressove episodes, I am only more than aware of that. When I was 14/15 I got the chickenpox-lost so much weight, got so delirius that I fell through my bunk bed , and my dad had to sleep in the same room , as he was so worried. i didnt eat for more than 2 weeks. it was awful..ill never forget being force fed too. I never even stayed with mum and when I went back to school I got bullied BIG TIME...As I had crates the size of I dont know endless holes that no poolyfilla could get through.
Anyway, i know when I got my stomach pumped out when I was 15 that i wasnt happy , and that I was reaching out for help..the first time I told my docotr that he asked"was you just experimenting with alcohol"..but my guess is one I was naive of the damage but deep down I didnt care at that point if I would live or die.pressure at school overwhelmed me, and my mums standards, i was never her straight grade a student-do you know where I am coming from?
I think as well, you get more stubborn as you get older, it can be damaging.i mean , I really need to stop cuddling lamposts. Im feeling really upset tonight as he is acting as if nothing is happening, and sometimes in my living room I feel this is a good home for my children, and then gut ache, when she going to pounce.....sorry want be hwlping you, with a band aid on your head, ...but if it makes you feel better, my hair is in a bun too.
Dawn, you are a specail friend, take care of you and your family.I admire you. bless you, Katy
Gosh-I dont know whats on my mediacl records, but "non-compliant"may well be one of them i dont knkow. I cant help but think , theres something more wrong-this cant just be anxiety, Ive been anxious all my life, and always been able to fight it, and either got myself into depressed states..You wouldnt believe what I was like after sitting my higher english, I howled for weks believing Id failed- I only got a B in the end but well I was delighted with that at that time. I spent most of my sixth year isolated and sleeping-didtn really give a damn about what I wa good at or not.
This is the thing dawn, the truth is its haunted me for so long and anxiety does bring about some depressove episodes, I am only more than aware of that. When I was 14/15 I got the chickenpox-lost so much weight, got so delirius that I fell through my bunk bed , and my dad had to sleep in the same room , as he was so worried. i didnt eat for more than 2 weeks. it was awful..ill never forget being force fed too. I never even stayed with mum and when I went back to school I got bullied BIG TIME...As I had crates the size of I dont know endless holes that no poolyfilla could get through.
Anyway, i know when I got my stomach pumped out when I was 15 that i wasnt happy , and that I was reaching out for help..the first time I told my docotr that he asked"was you just experimenting with alcohol"..but my guess is one I was naive of the damage but deep down I didnt care at that point if I would live or die.pressure at school overwhelmed me, and my mums standards, i was never her straight grade a student-do you know where I am coming from?
I think as well, you get more stubborn as you get older, it can be damaging.i mean , I really need to stop cuddling lamposts. Im feeling really upset tonight as he is acting as if nothing is happening, and sometimes in my living room I feel this is a good home for my children, and then gut ache, when she going to pounce.....sorry want be hwlping you, with a band aid on your head, ...but if it makes you feel better, my hair is in a bun too.
Dawn, you are a specail friend, take care of you and your family.I admire you. bless you, Katy
TOTALLY get your childhood - remember we are almost twins here!!!
Now I don't know if I've said this to you before or not but bare with me! I don't trust or like this guy - obviously!! And I think that he might be getting nervous that you ARE getting stronger. OR and I am leaning more to the OR he has been told by his solicitor NOT to rock the boat and be nice OR HE DID do that to you and is keeping a low peaceful profile! Don't be afraid of talking to your doctor Katy, especially about the bruises and your ribs, IF it was an accident it's an accident, BUT if he did it, then they will deal with that not you!
What i wanted to say is this, This DOESN'T have to be the end with him. When you move out, get to see an ENT specialist ;-) And be yourself and get some counselling for all the terrible things you've been through in your life. AND get back into your speciality and what makes you feel content. He MIGHT just come around again, because instead of disrepecting you he will actually begin to respect the woman you really are and want back in. BUT the difference is this time YOU are in charge, and YOU can tell him to b****r off or welcome in. But it will be YOUR place and you get to be the one to decide and not held hostage or captive with your children in your own home! So no matter what! THIS doesn't have to be the end of anything IF you don't want it to in the future!!
And when "he" says things about your black eyes what does he say?
Now I don't know if I've said this to you before or not but bare with me! I don't trust or like this guy - obviously!! And I think that he might be getting nervous that you ARE getting stronger. OR and I am leaning more to the OR he has been told by his solicitor NOT to rock the boat and be nice OR HE DID do that to you and is keeping a low peaceful profile! Don't be afraid of talking to your doctor Katy, especially about the bruises and your ribs, IF it was an accident it's an accident, BUT if he did it, then they will deal with that not you!
What i wanted to say is this, This DOESN'T have to be the end with him. When you move out, get to see an ENT specialist ;-) And be yourself and get some counselling for all the terrible things you've been through in your life. AND get back into your speciality and what makes you feel content. He MIGHT just come around again, because instead of disrepecting you he will actually begin to respect the woman you really are and want back in. BUT the difference is this time YOU are in charge, and YOU can tell him to b****r off or welcome in. But it will be YOUR place and you get to be the one to decide and not held hostage or captive with your children in your own home! So no matter what! THIS doesn't have to be the end of anything IF you don't want it to in the future!!
And when "he" says things about your black eyes what does he say?
Hi Dawn, at first when i got my black eye, he wouldnt let me go out, to the shops..though I did and cuddled lamposts on the way..I did. Like ive said before, its only a bruise, in fact I feel better if I have a black eye, than if I dont. Its like a little feeler shouting out to strangers, something is not right with her. Hes not mentioned it lately, as its nearly healed, so wasnt that bad, but before hed say "Look at your eye, Katy-how the heck?" and "did you bump your head as well" -as a small bruise has come up on my head.
My ribs only hurt a little now, but before, when they were bad he did help, however, my sister saw that I was in pain and carried the shopping for me-he wouldnt be so thoughtful.
I thin from your last post you have given me the courage to post my form, In a way I dont think I need counselling as Ive had you tlking to me :-D and citalopram makes my features swell up, I feel big and fat and swollen and hairy...my eyebrows are growing bushier by the day, and I am too blind to pluck them 8-|
Anyway, my sister has left-she didnt even say goodbye to me, she just gave me a look. My sister is almost the opposite of me, shes really pretty , tiny , skinny and really harsh 9 typical schoolteacher)She has so much attitude she could touch a tree with her pinky and it would keel over, but shes so tiny, and weighs about 5 stone, and drinks like I dont know what, but yet copes with all of it, and tells me"to get some backbone and stop being a fish" You probably can tell, we had a big ARGUMENT last night, and i reckon we may never speak to each other again aftr that one.
I dont know, and hes saying to me"I was a horrible b***h last night"..well, I probably was, but I knw my sister is going through a lot of sh*t at the moment, but Ive just got to the point of ...Look, Ive had it with the lot of you adults....I do feel like , "its me", but at the same time, think well, its for the best...Shes not helped me by expecting me to be on the phone all night every night when shes been away in Wick...Ive 2 kids to attend to, and shes not helped me by not listening and stating that"he loves youKaty" Thats just not helped anything for me. My parents also say, "Katy shes lonely, and that katy you are being selfish, and dont you think your a bit jealous of her"...ERm.....NOPE!!!
Anyway, i better go...feeling like a beached whale today, must be the pmt!!
My ribs only hurt a little now, but before, when they were bad he did help, however, my sister saw that I was in pain and carried the shopping for me-he wouldnt be so thoughtful.
I thin from your last post you have given me the courage to post my form, In a way I dont think I need counselling as Ive had you tlking to me :-D and citalopram makes my features swell up, I feel big and fat and swollen and hairy...my eyebrows are growing bushier by the day, and I am too blind to pluck them 8-|
Anyway, my sister has left-she didnt even say goodbye to me, she just gave me a look. My sister is almost the opposite of me, shes really pretty , tiny , skinny and really harsh 9 typical schoolteacher)She has so much attitude she could touch a tree with her pinky and it would keel over, but shes so tiny, and weighs about 5 stone, and drinks like I dont know what, but yet copes with all of it, and tells me"to get some backbone and stop being a fish" You probably can tell, we had a big ARGUMENT last night, and i reckon we may never speak to each other again aftr that one.
I dont know, and hes saying to me"I was a horrible b***h last night"..well, I probably was, but I knw my sister is going through a lot of sh*t at the moment, but Ive just got to the point of ...Look, Ive had it with the lot of you adults....I do feel like , "its me", but at the same time, think well, its for the best...Shes not helped me by expecting me to be on the phone all night every night when shes been away in Wick...Ive 2 kids to attend to, and shes not helped me by not listening and stating that"he loves youKaty" Thats just not helped anything for me. My parents also say, "Katy shes lonely, and that katy you are being selfish, and dont you think your a bit jealous of her"...ERm.....NOPE!!!
Anyway, i better go...feeling like a beached whale today, must be the pmt!!
Dawn, hes done his usual!!! 8-| 8-| Taken the children out, I dont mind today though, as I am thinking about last night..My sister and I , this is really embarasing for me to confess, but we were cat fighting...yes me 33yr old and her a 36 yr old....oh It made my children look for more mature than us two..I now have a little bruise on my cheek :$ :$ :$ My sister is the only person I would cat fight with-weve always been like that....but I was having a a bath earlier, and thinking :-| :-| 8-| :-) :O o.O Isnt it me being abusive to him, had he not done this to me? That in itself is abuse. i guess its just a TOTAL domestic, and not a case of him being abusive towards me, we are abusive with one another. For instance, i refuse to cook for him, about the only thing I do for him is his laundry, and even thats yuck!!!!
I dont think my sister wil ever speak to me again 8-| but I was thinking about alll the times shes stayed with us/lived with us, how she just antagonised the situation and has not helped out , not one little iota-when I ask myselff these things, I understood why she couldnt stay at my mums for well the best part of 2 yrs and lived with us.....Even my mum had had the back hand from my sister...Ie, she got in between her( my mum ) and step dad.....there as bad as each other and me included.......(ie) my mum and sister had a massive hude argument about peeling prawns :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D Oh it was entertaining 8-| 8-| 8-| Anyway, my sister drinks too, and I dont think she will ever be the type to pop of to the doctors and ask for help, so staying as far from her as possible. I cant imagine that lasting long though, as we are very alike, apart from the fact she practically has no skin but what little is of her is manfold thicker than mine...ie shes very thick skinned!!!!!!More stubborn than I.
Anyway, thank god the girls never saw us- with my girls..i do this"stop fighting" "Youve only got each other" and mummy cant have any more children so love each other 8-| but had they seen what mummy was up to last night OmG, wtf an alien has landed :-D :-D and erm waht a bleeding HYPOCRIT!!!!!!!! I think I like being a parent /hypocrit 8-| 8-|
Really dizzie after bath...I hoped the water would help my ears declog, but I thnk its made me wors.
Hows your poor head today? Its like clean up after children clean up after him , clean up after sister , clean up after catt, look in the mirror and Im 10years older......scream, fight my mum of my back, actually getting ready to spen time with her, and let this drug get me throug,Also thinking :-| :-| :-| he bought the flat screen tv to make it harder for me and the ggirls to go 8-| and thats what his little cleaning episode yesterday was about. Its like you have said though dawn, its the pecking order, I am or was at the botttom, and yes i will cut people off if I thin they are nipping my head :-D Sod it, you only live once....my mum used to always say "Just be nice Katy" I hate that word "NICE....WHAT does NICE mean?????????? Boooooooooooooooooooooorrrrrrrrriiiiing, anyway, thats not my point ...its not that I want to be an evil nasty b***h , or the opposite that I want to be realy popular and well liked..Its none of those things...i want to be allowed an opinion, allowed to think for myself, allowed to make me and my children happier.....thats all I want. Does that make any sense? Sorry Dawn< I know you have a lot on your plate at the moment, but does this make sense or am I making the BIGGEST mistake of my life and not accepting that there will always be things that we want WANT to do
I dont think my sister wil ever speak to me again 8-| but I was thinking about alll the times shes stayed with us/lived with us, how she just antagonised the situation and has not helped out , not one little iota-when I ask myselff these things, I understood why she couldnt stay at my mums for well the best part of 2 yrs and lived with us.....Even my mum had had the back hand from my sister...Ie, she got in between her( my mum ) and step dad.....there as bad as each other and me included.......(ie) my mum and sister had a massive hude argument about peeling prawns :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D Oh it was entertaining 8-| 8-| 8-| Anyway, my sister drinks too, and I dont think she will ever be the type to pop of to the doctors and ask for help, so staying as far from her as possible. I cant imagine that lasting long though, as we are very alike, apart from the fact she practically has no skin but what little is of her is manfold thicker than mine...ie shes very thick skinned!!!!!!More stubborn than I.
Anyway, thank god the girls never saw us- with my girls..i do this"stop fighting" "Youve only got each other" and mummy cant have any more children so love each other 8-| but had they seen what mummy was up to last night OmG, wtf an alien has landed :-D :-D and erm waht a bleeding HYPOCRIT!!!!!!!! I think I like being a parent /hypocrit 8-| 8-|
Really dizzie after bath...I hoped the water would help my ears declog, but I thnk its made me wors.
Hows your poor head today? Its like clean up after children clean up after him , clean up after sister , clean up after catt, look in the mirror and Im 10years older......scream, fight my mum of my back, actually getting ready to spen time with her, and let this drug get me throug,Also thinking :-| :-| :-| he bought the flat screen tv to make it harder for me and the ggirls to go 8-| and thats what his little cleaning episode yesterday was about. Its like you have said though dawn, its the pecking order, I am or was at the botttom, and yes i will cut people off if I thin they are nipping my head :-D Sod it, you only live once....my mum used to always say "Just be nice Katy" I hate that word "NICE....WHAT does NICE mean?????????? Boooooooooooooooooooooorrrrrrrrriiiiing, anyway, thats not my point ...its not that I want to be an evil nasty b***h , or the opposite that I want to be realy popular and well liked..Its none of those things...i want to be allowed an opinion, allowed to think for myself, allowed to make me and my children happier.....thats all I want. Does that make any sense? Sorry Dawn< I know you have a lot on your plate at the moment, but does this make sense or am I making the BIGGEST mistake of my life and not accepting that there will always be things that we want WANT to do
Dawn-do you ever look in the mirror and feel like youve shrunk.???..I think I am shrinking..Anyway going to try and go out..also I am sure citalopram has made my boobs bigger-I dont need that 8-| also I put on my , what i call my "mummies for the little house n the prarie outfit" Then put a hoodie on top...i guess its so not to feel guilty about last night shenanigins...anyway, ill try going out and not clinging on to lampost...oh ..here goesss......
OMG, its back with vengence!!!!! yes, I left the house...walked a little bit, open space...thought to myself , stop being ridiculous, legs ciezed and I walked like a 12 month old baby who had just pooed his /hers dyper...then I calmed myself, made it to a wall , scarped a long the wall,as soo as I stod still i felt sick, thought I was going to fall over...managed to get to wall. People are looking at me o.O o.O o.O o.O o.O o.O o.O and I am :$ :$ :$ :$ :-| Thinking dont you dare hyperventilate , ya big pudding.....anyway,, 2 preople helped me out and Im just back, but didnt even manage to get milk from the shop!
tried again and clung onto a bush, even wore my glasses, as soon as I put my glasses on I felt this real frustration as everything i see is skewed to the right and its hard for me to see left, so if I have this on top of an ear ting and turn my head to the left, I do dizzie and then I get that ,,,,thing right,,its happening again, its ok, nothing is going to happen..I walk again like a babby who has done in his nappy and not had it changed for weeks, and make it to a wall....but I feel so abnormal that I get the hole in the pitt of my stomach and want to cry. I also lok like a comploete freak with my specs on......just so fed up of this!!! Do you think I should try a benzo 5mg diazepam , and try again in an hour?
Ok, so tried to go out again failed in my mission...so put 6yr old in old scaffy buggy lol and pushe dhet to the shops...by the end of the trip she said"Mummy im never doing that again, Im embarassed!"...Me :$ :$ :$ :$ :$ :$ :$ :$ ,
I wonder if my dad ever met a woman from Scotland!!!!! ;-) XD You and I are SO similar it's sickening. I have a sister too, she's a biotch!!!!!!!! She's skinny, my mom always said "Isn't she pretty Dawn?!" I'm like "Yes Master Yes Master, dragging my knuckles on the floor!!!! ;-) XD " One time I beat her so bad I actually left her with 2 black eyes and half her hair missing - GOD that felt good!!! LOL I have actually threatened her that IF she phones me again I WILL call the police! You know what it is for your right now? You are FIGHTING back and I for one are VERY proud of you. You are saying FO!!!!! I'm not nice Katy anymore, I am b***h Katy and I WILL survive without your constant demeaning constricting overwhelming suffocating personalities in my life. IF you want to be part of my life, get OFF my back!!
Yeah STOP embarrassing the kid Katy!!! LOL, She's 17 and you're still putting her in a pram!!!! LOL o.O XD XD I don't think your lamppost, shrub, sidewalk hugging has ANYTHING to do with Anxiety or panic, I TOTALLY TOTALLY believe that it's inner ear. Also no wonder he didn't want you going to the store - a hole - he was worried what people might think. So I put it to you this way, you might have bruises for your "cat fight" or scratches BUT you WILL remember where you got them from because YOU did it!!!! So I REALLY think he did this to you, and is playing on "What happened Katy, did you bang your head AGAIN!?" BS!!!!!!!!! You show those bruises tommorrow Katy and you have him check out your ribs. Because I WILL track you down and get you to that doctor IF I have to!!!!Remember I still have the Radio 1 option - and IF for one second you think I wont, then you don't know yourself/me by now!!!
So tell me how the doctors go, ask for Clonazepam or better yet just insist on going to an EAR, NOSE and THROAT specialist! Citalopram can have side effects of weight gain, never heard of the eyebrow thing though - that sounds like steroids. But just ask OK? And let me know what he said, DO NOT hold anything back PLEASE?!!!!! As your counsellor, friend, and sister from another mister, I BEG you to open up to this guy. Because if the AH actually has something up his sleeve, then you will KICK yourself for not bringing up what has happened to you.
Yeah STOP embarrassing the kid Katy!!! LOL, She's 17 and you're still putting her in a pram!!!! LOL o.O XD XD I don't think your lamppost, shrub, sidewalk hugging has ANYTHING to do with Anxiety or panic, I TOTALLY TOTALLY believe that it's inner ear. Also no wonder he didn't want you going to the store - a hole - he was worried what people might think. So I put it to you this way, you might have bruises for your "cat fight" or scratches BUT you WILL remember where you got them from because YOU did it!!!! So I REALLY think he did this to you, and is playing on "What happened Katy, did you bang your head AGAIN!?" BS!!!!!!!!! You show those bruises tommorrow Katy and you have him check out your ribs. Because I WILL track you down and get you to that doctor IF I have to!!!!Remember I still have the Radio 1 option - and IF for one second you think I wont, then you don't know yourself/me by now!!!
So tell me how the doctors go, ask for Clonazepam or better yet just insist on going to an EAR, NOSE and THROAT specialist! Citalopram can have side effects of weight gain, never heard of the eyebrow thing though - that sounds like steroids. But just ask OK? And let me know what he said, DO NOT hold anything back PLEASE?!!!!! As your counsellor, friend, and sister from another mister, I BEG you to open up to this guy. Because if the AH actually has something up his sleeve, then you will KICK yourself for not bringing up what has happened to you.
o.O You beat up your sister!!! XD Sorry, I never managed that one-thoughshe has doen things to me before, like throw me down stairs when babysitting ( when we were younger)..Anyway, No, I just cant be bothered listening to her rant on about her problem and her to expect me to be patient and kind, when I have to get me out this situation and make sure my children are all right. Dont get me wrong , I totaly understand why she would be upset, but dont lay it on me-give it to someone else who can manage better.
Dawn-you remind me of my best friend from uni. I dont know where she is now. the last I heard shed got a guy and was flying out to se him every 2nd weekend..anyway, nevermind, my bruises look much better today, in fact , practically have gone.....well thats typical 8-|
and Ill have to take my children with me..
Even though I feel guilty and have been a hard cow to my sister, in a way I feel relieved. Mum and dad willl phone me , no doubt and tell me off, "Youve only got one sister" grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr! Its true though-deep down I do love her.
Oh gosh yeah, had a nightmare last night....I walk into a funeral shop...and its full of baddies, they open a door and its like the Glasgow clock work orange ( the underground system) excpet theres men running about shooting folks....a white unicorn runs by and magically all the bullets vanish..but then the badies get out there mashettes ( not that I can spell0 but anyway,,,we are all panicing, even my ex is threand we are all in a blind panic...all my friends from school (that i remeber 0were in it too...escalaotrs had stopped and had been twisted so youd have to squeeze through bannisters to get on the moving part...and like a computer game ..there was no exist. okay, so me being me, decides to spy on the badies and take their escape route....oters follow and we dont get caught..then we walk out the funeral shop and back into the streets of Edinburgh...Only my ex and I seem traumatised, everyone else is carrying on as though nothing has happened.
Then ....at the end.......he syas tome"its a lot to get over, as its all real, but feels like a nightmare"
Huh?????
Oh ...looks like rain!!
Dawn-you remind me of my best friend from uni. I dont know where she is now. the last I heard shed got a guy and was flying out to se him every 2nd weekend..anyway, nevermind, my bruises look much better today, in fact , practically have gone.....well thats typical 8-|
and Ill have to take my children with me..
Even though I feel guilty and have been a hard cow to my sister, in a way I feel relieved. Mum and dad willl phone me , no doubt and tell me off, "Youve only got one sister" grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr! Its true though-deep down I do love her.
Oh gosh yeah, had a nightmare last night....I walk into a funeral shop...and its full of baddies, they open a door and its like the Glasgow clock work orange ( the underground system) excpet theres men running about shooting folks....a white unicorn runs by and magically all the bullets vanish..but then the badies get out there mashettes ( not that I can spell0 but anyway,,,we are all panicing, even my ex is threand we are all in a blind panic...all my friends from school (that i remeber 0were in it too...escalaotrs had stopped and had been twisted so youd have to squeeze through bannisters to get on the moving part...and like a computer game ..there was no exist. okay, so me being me, decides to spy on the badies and take their escape route....oters follow and we dont get caught..then we walk out the funeral shop and back into the streets of Edinburgh...Only my ex and I seem traumatised, everyone else is carrying on as though nothing has happened.
Then ....at the end.......he syas tome"its a lot to get over, as its all real, but feels like a nightmare"
Huh?????
Oh ...looks like rain!!
Hi Dawn, well I saw my Gp today. he took ages with me, but I dont think i was clear about anything. Tried though...feeling really tired and down that I didnt just blurt everything out. But feeling like it really doesnt matter, no one can prove anything on it, unless there was somone to witness it...and now that he is being kind and so forth, it is almost as though it never happened. The power of the mind..is exhausint.
I also nwo feel extremly guilty about the way I spoke to my sister, but maybe Ill write to her.
Why do I analyse everything, so much, yet always focused on teh wrong things.
So spaced out, I got on the wrong bu to my doctors...it was so funny, it went round this corner and i couldnt get where we were...eventually it clicked and my daughter and I had about 5 mins to get there. its something I really hate-being late for a medical appointment, when someon else could be in real need,
Anyway, ex expected his dinner in the oven tonight...Im like Hello!! Have you not noticed whats going on? Didnt say anything, just feel like, just feel like shonet and want to reverse the clocks a few years , maybe 10. Do you think i get my like (english from living in Glasgow) , I lies, but no likes?) i think its really strange how 2 cities so close together almost have foreign languages. In Glasogow they dont use the word chum.......but in Edinburgh well my family uses the word religiously. ok, im waffling now...dont know what it is...i want to go get a career so I can securely do this...Maybe I should be doing that first, but then I question -am I capable of doing anyting? i can barely work in a shop!
I also nwo feel extremly guilty about the way I spoke to my sister, but maybe Ill write to her.
Why do I analyse everything, so much, yet always focused on teh wrong things.
So spaced out, I got on the wrong bu to my doctors...it was so funny, it went round this corner and i couldnt get where we were...eventually it clicked and my daughter and I had about 5 mins to get there. its something I really hate-being late for a medical appointment, when someon else could be in real need,
Anyway, ex expected his dinner in the oven tonight...Im like Hello!! Have you not noticed whats going on? Didnt say anything, just feel like, just feel like shonet and want to reverse the clocks a few years , maybe 10. Do you think i get my like (english from living in Glasgow) , I lies, but no likes?) i think its really strange how 2 cities so close together almost have foreign languages. In Glasogow they dont use the word chum.......but in Edinburgh well my family uses the word religiously. ok, im waffling now...dont know what it is...i want to go get a career so I can securely do this...Maybe I should be doing that first, but then I question -am I capable of doing anyting? i can barely work in a shop!