You've only been married 5 months. Now is the time to get out, not later after you've spent even more money on someone who doesn't appreciate you and has a seriously dysfunctional family. There's other women out there. Don't waste your time on this one, while the others may be getting away.
The 41 year old woman friend is a madam and the black guy is probably finding her escort work (pimp). Had a friend once who had to work away from his wife. During that time she worked secretly (not so much obviouly) for an escort service. She obviously doesn't respect you so if I were you I would toss it and move on.
I really hope you left her! There are so many affectionate and attentive caring women out there. And women DO like nice guys, I'm with a wonderful kind and caring man and I can't keep my hand off him, after 4 years we still talk for hours and are very physical. Don't let yourself be taken for granted, if she cared she would show it. Think about it, when you care about something, don't you show it?
WOW!! All I gotta say is wanna trade? She can have my husband and I can have you. I like the way you think!!!
No 1: You have to degrade her.
No 2: Let your anger out by using her sexually as a piece of meat.
No 3: As soon as you are done using her,dump her.
Then she will be yours for ever ......
Sorry but there is something up with her. Emotionaly and psychologicaly. She could slowly transform with a lot of effort and control from your side,but then you wont be her husband but her reformer. I am not so sure you would like that role.
Then again you can take out the bad boy in you,,,if you dont have one then consider yourself lucky because you can create one any way you like it.
I had a simillar situation. I ended up,after giving her everything and got heartbroken , to be a SOB to her.I start using her sexually and Anal is always on the menu. I also did her sister and i let her know about it with a cocky way. In 5 minutes she was giving oral to me. She said she understand(?).
I did her mother too. (Simillar controlling freak with same insecurities like your mother in law.) After i did her mother i completely ignored her and when she asked me why i was like that i just said that her daughters are just younger than her and that i prefer my meat fresh. She freaked out but **** because it was on Thanksgiving and the whole extended familly was there.
Right now i am divorsed for 3 years. I still bang her whenever i want how i want any way i want. I used to buy her diamond rings. The last thing i bought for her was a set of w****-ish clothes and a diamond butt plug that i demand from her to wear it anytime we meet. And of course i make sure we meet in public places so she is feeling exposed and uncomfortable. But she still wants to be with me(LOL).
I like going to her familly functions because i can be in the same room with her,her sister and her mother.......oh boy they are f up.
I feel like a stud among them and they look at each other with a mixture of love,hate ,jelusy and stupidity i love it. How is that for revenge?
That is the most screwed up sh*t ever 'G'. You need to freaking heal properly! All you did was let them all win, look how LOW they've dragged you!! They've made you into a this predatory, sick, bitter, vengeful person giving completely demented advice.... all it revolved around is acting like a sadist with consent... something is deeply wrong with you, get help!! When people treat you badly and you leave, that shows you have more strength, more of a conscience. When you turn around and act the WORSE than they did what do you think that says about you? You kind of have no right to look down on them, you've now gone and proven yourself worse. To the main guy who actually wrote this post, don't let her turn you bitter. There are some awful women out there, but there are also some very very good ones.
i think she might be cheating on you. get a divorce.
well take it from a 44 yr old recently dumbed by my hubby,cuz i cheated on him for years! just got caught this month lost my home. as i didnt work he supported ne very well wanted for nada. so she does not love anymore i dont thing she is cheating! but i believe she wants you to devorvice her an she wants you to request it not her! i will bet your sex life is almost nill! i didnt want to split up but i needed a larger hung man to make me feel whole! i think you should come right out an ask her! i will bet she says yes then its all up to you friend. sorry but love hurts sometimes. judy
Dude no wonder your wife is freakin out, I bet you didnt write 1/2 of it down and I am freakin out. You are way to brash and in her face. She is trying to show you that she needs some freakin space and you are running up and hugging her.
And as to the finances. You are married, that is no longer "your car" and "her car" they are your cars as a couple. That $2000 you spent on jewelry, that was not your money that you gifted her, that was both of your money that you decided to spend on jewelry (did she even like it?)
No wonder she is hanging out with her mother, you are smothering her. I am quite surprised she has not left you yet. Going on and on about spending this, and that, and the other. Then you did this for her and made her sit for pictures and bought a tree. Christmas sounds horrible around you, and it is my favorite holiday of the year.
I really think you need some counseling and learn how to tone it back. You also need to learn about how finances work in a relationship (did the two of you talk about this before marriage? If not why?)
Other things you should have talked about: how important family was to you, desire for children, future plans, how your family of origin has skewed your world view, what you will do with your aging parents, where and if you will vacation, where and if you will retire, where, if, and how you will provide for parents in their old age.
These and a thousand other things are normally discussed by couples before marriage, that way there are no surprises. I think that you are probably not used to adult relationships (seriously glitter stockings for cats? why? soooooooooo creeeepy!)
Hi there- its been a year since your post. How is it going? What did you descide to do? I have a male friend who is in a similar situation as you. His wife, by his own admission is self centered. She also has mommy and daddy issues and will take their side over her husbands and has total disregard for his feelings regarding her realtaionship with her parents. He lives in a sexless marriage with no hope in sight. I asked him if he asked his wife for a reason/why she wont be intimate with him. Her answer was she walked out of the room and offered no legitimate reason. There are more details that I know and so much more that I don't but how can you work on a problem if your partner won't discuss with you whatever issues they are having. My gut instincts says she is cheating. I have no proof nor have I discussed it with my friend. Thoughts anyone as to why a wife would not want to be intimate with her husband? Excluding physical reason...because I know I love my husband very much and I enjoy his company in every sense of the word and is my greatest confidant. If you can't share your deepest darkest issues with your spouse (TRUST), then what do you have?
It’s been a while since your original post. What did you decide to do? I have a male friend with a similar situation. By his own his own admission his wife is self centered and thinks only of herself. She too has mommy/daddy issues. He has made reservations about their relationships to her but received only disregard for those feelings. She always takes their side over his. He has a sexless marriage and does not know why. I asked him if he asked her for a reason/why she won’t be intimate with him. Her response was nothing at all…she walked out of the room. How are you suppose to fix a problem when only one partner wants to work on it. I have a gut feeling she is cheating. I have no proof and have not mentioned it to my friend. As a married woman, I enjoy all my time with my husband and would never think to deprive him or him me. There are more details to the story and some I do not know, for sure. But how do you work on a relationship when your own wife won’t tell you her problem. My husband is my confidant and would never think to exclude him from my deepest darkest thoughts, especially when it concerns both of us.
Hi ..I read your letter twice.. Boy oh boy.. I see my life exact to a t.. Except I have had to deal with a bit more financial requests she makes two houses and a million projects in which I do them to BELEIVE it makes her happy.. Nether one of us drink but both of us are military retired . She has been married three times before me short times.. I am the only one THATS dealt with her WACKED sh*t for 14 years. I get no effection no sex no talking no real emotional THATS real feelings no dating, no dinners together, no real love I have tried more than a man can do. I do love her still.. But I am at cross roads to realize I have heard ever excuse including the bible... I am 47 and a strong man but sad hurt inside.. I wish I can find honest Love like you.. We must know there are woman out there that are good and love in there heart.. I haven't found one except what I can give them.. It sucks .. Just know like me I will tell you this .. I have stopped giving and became more selfesh in front of her and stopped giving her attention of worth.. This is what my PTSD COUNSLOR told me to do.. See there are NARRISISIC .. WHEN YOU SHOW NARRISIC IN FRONT OF THEM MAKES THEM CRAZY.., I DO IT ALL THE TIME.. I THINK IT WHY I HAVE BEEN WITH THIS LONG BECAUSE I MIMIC HER MAKES THEM NUTS. YA IT'S HARD DURING THIS TIME OF PAIN.. BUT THEM COME AROUND AND BE NICE TO YOU AGAIN.. I FOUND THIS WITH MANY WOMAN.. Know I am a Truely big hearted person.. See they aren't THATS why they do what they do. .. Nasty nasty none giving .. Doesn't do sh*t for her nothing see what happens.. Nothing to lose right.. Save a little money .. This time you go get your new pair of shoes.. f**k her.. LOONEY..