hi! I know this may be too late but I came across this and figured I'd answer your question. I'm myself 15 years old and my mother found a used condom wrapper in our garbage can, and another in my jean pocket. I didn't have sex with my boyfriend twice, one of the condoms just ripped, so we had to use another one. I didn't know why I was so clumsy with the wrappers but anyways when she found the first one in the garbage can she was stern with me, and I made up a really bad lie to cover myself. in those moments I thought I was completely dead, in my head I was repeating "oh no she's about to kill me." but she was actually nice to me the rest of the day. I was really embarrassed but eventually it felt good to know she wouldn't disown or ground or even hate me for this. the second time she found the other condom wrapper in my jean pocket. we were both in the car driving home and she confronted me about it. in my head while I was thinking about what excuse to pull I remembered how she treated me the first time. she was talking with sternness, but she wasn't extremely mad at me. she didn't take a long time to tell me about how I needed to be on birth control if I was to do that stuff and even then I needed a condom etc. etc. etc. after I remembered that, this time I fessed up, I told her the truth. she was a angry and asked me some questions. I told her I missed my period (which is something I normally do) so she got me a pregnancy test and it came back negative. afterwards I decided to completely stop doing sexual stuff with my boyfriend. he was very disappointed but I told him this exactly, "its not right, sex does not equal love and I need to think about my own morals above everything else" and I meant it. In the end any parents who are reading this scared to death over their children making a huge mistake from having sexual intercourse, they will find a way to do it either way. Teenagers will experiment, its all okay. We're still your same loving kids. And by any means I am not saying you have to approve of this or try to be your child's best friend. I actually encourage you not to do that. Just please do not shame them. Make them feel comfortable with themselves and around you, but don't try to be buddy-buddy with them. you are still the parent. lead them in the right direction by letting them know you disapprove, but want them to be safe. offer to put them on birth control and advise them to use condoms if it happens again. Because look at me, I'm a girl who doesn't listen to the advice my mom gives me. but this time I've not only listened but changed for the better too.
You may not agree.
It is you who are the problem NOT her
Just teach her to make sure she takes precautions against STDs and pregnancy
Dont fret
She had unprotected sex because you didnt take the trouble of educating her and most likely were extremely strict and punitive.
This is the consequence.
Once they are teens their instinct to want sex kicks in. Stop wasting time teaching them to abstain from sex. That will NEVER work. Teach them safe practices instead and you will have no worries.
I was 13ish when I first started having sex and with a much older bf. He was great and took care of me. Never had a pregnancy scare.
Sex is normal, natural, biological, physiological and INSTINCTIVE.
You call the police and she will be having sex behind your back.
Do not call the police. Just let her choose her partners BUT teach her safe sex.
Sex is NORMAL you know. It is a very natural thing and more so a biological instinct. It is a physiologic function of the body.
But you as a parent think you should control and humiliate your teen daughter.
Awful. Shame on you.
Yes you should call the police your daughter has been taken advantage of by this guy.
She is 13 and there are laws that protect children from guys like this.
Your daughter may think she is old enough but at 13 she unfortunately would be an easy target for a creep like this guy.
She may not like it but one day she will realize that you were right and she will thank you for for doing what you have to in order to protect her.
what an over reaction.
The guy is only 16. Are you for real? you think this is being taken advantage of? How silly and narrowminded society is these days.
The laws NEVER protect. Those laws make such things go underground. You are really naive if you think laws actually make this situation better.
The responsibility lies with the parent to instruct the teen girl. Teach her to take precautions against STDs and pregnancy NOT punish her for having sex with another teen.
Grow up guys. This is what is happening with a lot of teenagers. Calling the police is a very stupid move and will have no benefit. He is 16 and she is 13. They are both "underage" and the sex was consensual. The law will not interfere. The law is NOT here to baby sit your kids. Do your duty as a parent and dont expect the law to take care of your parental responsibilities.
This guy is only 16 but what he is doing is illegal and he should be held accountable for his actions.
You must be the person that has been posting about how wonderful it was for you that a pedophile took advantage of you when you were 13.
You may think it is ok for pedophiles to take advantage of children but for most of us doing whatever is needed to protect children from abuse is the right thing to do.
Trying to justify what these creeps do to kids is idiotic.
Who ever talked about paedophiles taking advantage of children??? stop ranting. Are you on drugs or something??
Paedophiles have sex with PREPUBERTAL children.
A 13 yr old is NOT prepubertal and hence her having sex with the 16 yr old does not make it paedophilia. SIMPLE ENGLISH - do you understand. Get your facts correct first.
Stop sensationalising the issue.
A 13 yr old is an adolescent = young adult and in may countries is the legal age of consent.
A 16 yr old is below the artificial, man made, so called " legal age" Hence he is a child too. So he cannot be a paedophile. Our supposedly sophisticated society is ill informed, misguided and bordering on stupidity almost lacking intellect.
The reference to a pedophile was for the person who abused you at 13.
Perhaps you noticed the subject change.
There are 16 year old's that are pedophiles and are registered sex offender.
Stupidity is not a disability but it will impact you throughout your entire live.
Have a wonderful day.
This is NOT paedophilia. They are both under the age of consent as someone rightly put it.
Why dont you try going to the police to make a complaint. They will throw you out instantly because there is no case here. They are both underage.
Having sex is their birth right. Not for you or the law to interfere.
Whom she chooses is her prerogative NOT for you to decide if it is right or wrong.
Clearly she has chosen someone she likes and wants to share a sexual experience with him.
You've got to stop being narrow minded. Being punitive will only cause more problems. Firstly it will drive this practice underground and then there will be problems and you will only have yourself to blame.
You've got to educate teens NOT punish then for having sex. That is absurd and archaic belonging to the medieval times. Education should involve instruction on how to make sure they are safe from STDs and prevention of pregnancy. A collaborative approach is the way forward NOT the puritanical way you choose.
I have never said it is okay for Paedophiles to take advantage of children. The issue here is that you have no understanding of what Paedophilia means. Please go and educate yourself on this subject before you try and discuss this point.
I was never taken advantage of when I was 13. I chose to have sex with this older guy who was charming, handsome, had a charisma I have never seen before, was caring more than my parents ever did, was highly educated and clever and he knew how to give me the best experience.
BTW I am now studying to do Medicine. I am not scarred or psychologically damaged like you think.
Damage happens when interfering people like you put your 2 cents worth in. There is absolutely NO harm if you meet the right guy. Age is immaterial. Whether you have the same interests or not is immaterial. The only thing that matters is if you both are happy together and there is no physical abuse or violence and that no drugs or alcohol are involved.
You need to get your facts correct. Stop sensationalising the issue.
Give me a list of 16 yr old Paedophiles !! They may be sex offender BUT the meaning of a Paedophile is an adult ie one who is more than 18, who has a sexual interest in prepubertal kids.
Do you understand that now?
Stupidity is a disability because they fire off without reason or insight or knowledge.
They are more guided by emotion NOT educated knowledge or logic