When someone is at the point of self harming, something is seriously wrong. I started 3 years ago when my dad died, it was my first week of highschool and I took it hard. I thought no one understood. People would offer me help but I just thought they would judge me and didn't care. When you are at the stage of hurting yourself, your mind is not right either. To inflict pain on yourself takes dedication. I stopped several months ago, I don't know how. I literally just woke up one morning and said to myself 'stop'. I had finally accepted I had a problem and asked for help. My bestfriend has schizophrenia and is addicted to cutting herself. So I know what it feels like to be on both sides. Her case may be a bit more severe then your friends as she is institutionalized on regular basis. But what helped me understand my friend, and help her was simply be there. Don't attack her, don't question her, supporting her is all you can do. Sit her down and say you don't understand, but you want to, you want her trust and you want her to let you in. Tell her you will try and help. Let her know she isn't alone. She may not realise it, she may think you will judge, but give her time. Just be there, and in a few months, she may come around, she may see you really care, and you may make a difference.
But I must warn you. Being a cutters support is difficult. They are so low right now, and being around them will not be a positive influence on you. So before you dedicate yourself to her, talk to an adult or a teacher or just another friend you trust and tell them what you're trying to do, tell them you want to support her but you need help. Because you can't do it on your own. When I was at that point, I pushed everyone away, I started to slip in school, I didn't want friends, I just didn't care. So if she is going through something similar, she will be the same, she will be difficult to say the least. Be careful. Know that she is not your responsibility and she has the capability to bring you down also. But you do care about her enough to offer yourself, all you can do is wait, be patient and stand by her side. Because she needs that right now. From experience majority of people that cut are craving for attention, I don't mean that in a judgmental way as that's what I craved. I wanted someone to hold me and tell me it would all be alright. But because I had locked myself away, I never got it and was on a never ending downwards spiral. Just pay extra close attention to her, don't act unusual, just be friendly.
I really hope I helped in some way. Young people who self harm really have a place in my heart, because I understand.
- Mia x