My husband hit me once and he has anger problems.

It was the next day of our wedding when my husband slapped me several times and strangled me. Now this was a love marriage. Before our wedding he was starting to become annoying and said awful things so he could some how manipulate me. I think that's what it was. I helped him with his finances. I paid for the wedding. I paid for the house. I paid for the furniture. i paid the bills. I gave him so much credit. I convinced my parents for our marriage. There are so many things. Anyway, he crossed his line the day he hit me. I lost respect for him. Anything happens, any argument that starts, this comes rising like an angry lava. He has apologised and I forgave him. But it keeps repeating. There is nothing he ever did to make me feel different. it still haunts me. I still feel his hands around my neck. I am a working woman. I am very organised and care about the tidiness of home. But it doesnt mean that he can take advantage of my habits. I ask him to do the house chores sometimes but he always say he would ont he weekend. He never does them. When he gets annoyed he argues that it is my responsibility to do it. Anyway, so many things have happenend. its only been 4 months. during those 4 months, I lost my temper, we had fights, he hits me often, i defended myself and hit him back. on my retaliation he said awful things to me and to my family. any argument, small or big, he never had a response but to say that he wanted seperation and that i should leave the house. he assumes that he is not important to me. that i dont care. he never respected me or my family. I lost my control, that I pulled a knife and cut myself just to end the hurting. He used it against me and told my mother that I pulled it at him. anyway, these days I am back at my parent's house. I am very depressed. I tried to cut myself with a blade. I fell off the staircase. Have a bad injury on my forehead. The man who made my world, the man who was everything to me, literally rocked my world. My mother says be patient and take a break away from him. That is what I am doing now. Till this day he doesnt have the answer to why he hit me the next day of our wedding. He keeps slapping my face with 'male dominance'. So its my choice to live with it or to get a seperation. these were his last words.

Almost 2-3 weeks ago, my fiance threatened to beat me....it came out of nowhere. We were fighting(He had started in on me, randomly, for no reason, like always) and then he said:
"We fight so much, that it's getting to the point were i am just going to beat you from now on".
Then i responded with: "Lay a hand on me, and I'll f*****g step on your throat". and then i just quit talking to him, i avoided him for 3 days straight. I actually left, and stayed somewhere else.
No talking to him. NOTHING. Then something must have clicked, because that same day, shortly after i called my father, and mother,(reason i did that, is because there my parent's, you can say; your a f*****g p***y, and all the other vulgarities you want, but they have a right to know, im there daughter.) and explained the situation, my sister got a hold of it and took threats against his life.....My parents drove over to the friend i was staying with so they could console me, i catatonic, and i was going to take me life that day, not out of fear, but disappointment, that he had gone that low......
He kept saying he never meant it, saying he was sorry, trying to fix things, and i gave in....
I know im at fault to for giving in like that....and stooping to his level by threatening him like that..
No police action took place, nothing legal was ever put into place, he never hit me, he just threatened, he has never done it before, only emotional abuse when were fighting, he is slightly controlling and some what abnormal, I have been hospitalized for several suicide attempts because of depression caused by him.
So i have realized that much. What should i do now? What are your thoughts? I'm at loss....
Everyday, i think he knows what he did changes my view on him, whenever i look at him, i can't look at him the same, i know that one day i could have a chance of seeing that side of him again, but never in the 4 years of us being together has he said/done this. I do know that if was to hit me, i would more than likely get arrested for beating him senseless, as i have done to several guys that are twice as big as him. (MMA) He may be taller than me, but i can and will defend myself if necessary.

I have realized that im in the same situation, my partner is constantly angry, sometimes i dont even know why. Just last night we had the most uglyest argument where it actually progressed into a physical fight. My left index finger is bruised, I have blue marks on my arm. I dont live with her anymore because of it but we agreed to work on her temper & agressiveness but I dont see it working. She slapped me so hard last night on my left ear that it left a zinging effect, considering i have problems with that ear. I was called all the names that you can think of. I was told to F out of her house but when getting my things to leave, she pulls me right back. I was thrown with water in my face, i almost choked. I tried to defend myself by hitting & scratching but when i recieved that slap on my ear, it was all done. I was in tears like i couldnt breath. Im living with my parents but we went away for the weekend & being back at home in our comfort again, just started all the problems again. Ive decided to leave & im not looking back, I do not care how sorry she is & how hurt she feels because my heart is fill more with pain, hurt & sorrow then love. So i know how u feel Because I have never been someone puntching bag before this.

Leave him. That behaviour is not normal, or acceptable, and it is not love. Someone who hits you like that does not really love you. You might mistake it for real love because you don't know better; nobody does until they find love with someone who treats them right. It's like night and day. Get out as soon as you can.

I know this post was over a year ago...but I am hoping that you found the strength to leave him. If he hit you, he will definitely beat you.

I recommend that you get a separation, and then a divorce. There are many many fish in the sea...men who could rock your world a million times more who would NEVER EVER hit you. This man sounds like a psychopath. You could end up dead if you go back to him.

To all of you ladies who are dealing with being hit by men who otherwise seem to treat them right: everything is not black and white. If all that these men did was hit you from day one, you would never have been lured into caring about them. They manipulated you into falling for them so that they can dominate you and take away your power and self-worth in order to make themselves feel better. They string you along by being nice sometimes. It's easy to lie; everyone can do it.

You have to leave him. No woman shoud ever and i mean EVER be hit by her husband. We arent bags but human beings!

thats the problem wid the men they consider their wifes are thier properties they can do anything wid them. they have similar arguements with their mother or sisters or father or brothers or co-workers why they dont hit them but hit only a women whom they claim they love. i ve gone thru the same thing few days back in my three years of marraige he hit me for the first time because he's angry at me because iam checking his cellphone. and i dont knw wat to do...............

please dont go back and start ur life again this man will never change and make ur life miserable

These men should'nt even be in relationships. These men have an inflated sense of entitlement.

They want things their way and if they are criticised or denied etc they bully.

The person they bully gets scared.The behaviour.criticism the bully did'nt want to hear stops.

The bully learns that bullying is a great tool so they carry on.

 Why would'nt they?

 It works.

Each time we allow the bully to bully the cycle continues.

Tell the bully you do not want to be bullied.Tell the bully if they bully you again they will loose you. If htye do...LEAVE. Never threaten what you ar'nt prepared to follow through on.

The bully WILL NOT CHANGE.

The bully will not suddenly 'love you enough' to stop; their 'love' dos'nt go as far as respect you see.

The bully cannot give up his superior position.

Anger management won't work for them; they're not angry, they're controlling bullies. Anger management will make them well adjusted bullies.

The solution is to leave or have them leave.Never look back.Never allow yourself to be an enabler again. Find a man who dos'nt have anger issues.Look at online questions to see if the patrner you meet is a possible abuser.

How much energy does everyone spend on bullies?! It's like pouring your self respect down a black hole.

Be happy and become yourself again.xxxxxxxxxx

Yes, I tottally understand u. It seems like everything is my fault.... And he hits me where he doesnt leave anything swollen, he's pretty smart about that.. Everything makes him mad, for everything he has to say something negative. We argue so much & fight so much that even our Son is used to it & doesn't cry any more. i'm trying to hold on, do what it takes so i dont have to get him mad... But everything has its limit

just 1year has passed of our love marriage i understand that My husband is in stress coz he lost his job,but he gets very aggressive on me abuses n hits me do i deserve this.. he doesn't like me talking to anybody,his family has also thrown us out of their house and asked to find a other house for both of us, coz im a event manager its not possible for me to stay at home full time everyday to my full capability i manage the household work but my mother in law blames and create negativity which effects our relationship he gets frustated and aggressive,i have to go for work and manage finance for our future and house for rent but he does not understand he has not saved any money what he had he spend it on his family.So i take small projects also that money will help us in future ,I had an event i just asked him to join my business and we would work together so that he would be with me and be sure that im into work.but he did not come coz of family obligations i informed that i would be late he came to pick me after the work and started abusing me,blaming me i was so exhausted  when we reached home he pressed my hand,twisted,pushed me in defense i slapped him coz its happening for 8-9times in a year of our marriage but why i went for work not for fun..he also gave me a tight slap and pushed me on the stairs i was fallen on the stairs..

hi I have a friend and finally she did left him are you still married to him?

i also hve the same situation but have not tld any1 else...infact i am really far away from my parents..