Mrs Steph
i would like to keep in touch with you for moral support, im going through an emotional turmoil 2 months after removing the implanon. some support would do thank you.
***this post is edited by moderator *** *** private e-mails not allowed*** Please read our Terms of Use
I to have recovered!!!!
Before I go into my recent journey coming off birth control, let me give you some background on my history.
I started birth control when I was in my late teenage years (around 2006-2007). Originally I was on a birth control that contained both estrogen and progesterone. It wasn't until my doctor switched me to Yaz that I had my first reaction. I started to have aura migraines and was eventually sent the ER because I had one so bad. It was then I learned that I was unable to be on any from of birth control that contained estrogen - leading me to the non-estrogen - progesterone only pills. I was prescribed Camilla and took it for years with NO side effects. (Let me add that I have never suffered from depression on any other mental illness ever - but have had general MILD anxiety) . I came off birth control in 2013 - quit cold turkey - and was fine. I actually felt better, more myself. In 2015 my ob-gyn recommended I got back on birth control.. so I willing took her suggestion and started the progesterone only pill again - this time Sharobel. This is where my problems started. While on the pill I don't recall any serious side effects, except weight gain. It was impossible to shed any weight. In August of 2016 I decided to come off the pill and once again quit cold turkey. I was fine, until the first week in September. I was just lying in bed watching a movie.. when all of a sudden my heart started racing, I had this sudden overwhelming surge of anxiousness.. I quickly panicked even more and ran to the bathroom. I was shaking and could not calm myself down. I had no clue at the time what was happening to me (I was having a panic attack). I just tried to relax and go to sleep. The next day I woke up and I felt SO odd. I would describe the feeling as drinking 10 cups of coffee. I just felt on edge and I couldn't calm myself down. This was ALL day and ALL night. The feeling never subsided. A few days later I had a panic attack again.. and then another.. I called my mother hysterical crying telling her I was losing my mind. I had no control over my feelings and my emotions. I went to my doctor (had a panic attack in the office) and she told me I was simply suffering from a panic attack disorder. And her suggestion was to start an anti-depressant/anti-anxiety medicine called Celexa. Which I did..at only 10mg. This didn't satisfy me. I KNEW something was wrong with me.. emotionally and mentally. At the time I truly believed I was suffering from some sort of psychotic or nervous breakdown. It was beyond terrifying. The next week I made an appointment with a psychiatrist. All she suggested was to stay on the medicines and allow them time to work (4-6 weeks!!) I was so unhappy as i do not like taking any forms of medicine, especially something that alters your mind.
The next week... I got my period. My PMS symptoms were horrible back pains, fatigue, unbelievable cramps, everything you can imagine. 2 days later it ended. And within a week of that all my anxiety and panic attacks stopped. Suddenly I felt normal and just like myself, like a cloud lifted. My mother even joked to me and said "was this just all PMS" - at the time it was funny but I had yet to realize the roller coaster I was about to embark on. My symptoms all subsided and I stopped taking the medicine (all and all I only took it for about 10 days anyway ). Then came October. I noticed that as I got closer and closer to my period due date my symptoms returned. The panic attacks started. I lived in constant fear. I stopped attending college. I would call out of work. my thoughts became SOO irrational . I would sit and cry for hours about my mom dying (who is alive and well). All my thoughts were about death or being stuck this way forever. And I could NOT break my thought patterns. It was every second of every day. I described it as being dragged down to the deepest darkest pits of hell where all your fears (as irrational and non existent as you know they are) are real. You can't stop your mind. It was at this point I started seeing a holistic therapist, who turned out to be a godsend. After a few sessions she told me that what I was going through was 100% a hormone imbalance brought on by the birth control. That the medicines would not help as my body was essentially going through a detox. I was basically a drug addict.. or birth control going through withdraw. When I quit my BC cold turkey. My body had NO progesterone and my hormones were all imbalanced. A simple google of progesterone will show you how important it is (along w estrogen) to a woman's emotional and mental health. Long story short she reassured me that it would take months but my body would recover. And that what I was experiencing would lessen every day. And it did!!!!!! September and October were a score of 100 on my scale of anxiety/depression. But by November and December it had dropped down to a 20 and did not last as long. November was the LAST time I had a panic attack. And my period this January was 100% normal and I am back to my self!!! I cannot put into words the anguish and fear I felt going through this experience. It really changed me, I won't lie. I did not walk away unscathed. All I know is that I could not have done it with out my mother as she reassured me the whole time I WOULD get better. Even though it felt impossible in the first few months. I was convinced I would be stuck in this vicious cicecle forever and that I had permanently ruined my body. Please please please trust your body and your instincts and know that this will pass. It is horrible, but it does not last forever and it slowly getsbetter I promise. No doctors would admit it was from the pill or dismissed it but luckily I found an amazing holistic therapist who helped me through it all. Meditation is key! In the first few months I meditated for hours a day it was the only way to quiet my mind. I hated being awake as all my thoughts were negative. I lost 20lbs in just two months because I could not eat or would vomit if I did. Please have faith! And try to stay off the internet as silly as it sounds. I became obsessed with googling what was going on with me (although it did lead me to this forum). Just rest and take care of yourself! Detox and eat organic and help your body cleanse faster! They say it takes 3 months for ur hormones to rebalance , but it took me a good solid 5/6! So don't worry if you take as long or longer. We are all different! But it will get better!!!!!