Above was me, I wasn't signed in.
Zeek
Hi Hanna & Zeek,
Wow, you sound great Hanna, I'm happy to hear that you're FINALLY starting to feel better! And Zeek, congrats on getting off the Percs, I'm almost positive you won't feel any ill effects because of your short-term use.
It's weird how all of us bought into the "feeling normal" on Subs when it was anything but. I sometimes thought of that when I was taking them but quickly struck the thought out of my mind before it had a chance to grow. Each day I'm "feeling" more and tomorrow is my last day for the Trams. It's day 14/15 for me as the worst part of my day, kind of like Zeek, is when I first wake up. It's when I feel the uncomfortable feelings associated with WD's. I to watch TV for an hour or so before I can really get out of bed.
BTW: Hanna, I also smoke and will be giving that up this year as well but NO WAY is it going to be anytime soon. They are my only relief as well when I'm feeling my worst.
Keep in mind lady and gent that once the initial phase of these WD's are gone we may have to contend with PAWS. DON'T let this discourage you from continuing on out journey's it's just a necessary evil. Also, Hanna, I've traded a couple of private messages with Zeek. Let me know if you can't figure it out and I'll walk you through it. I think all you need is to be logged on before you try sending me one.
It's Friday everyone so let's take it easy this weekend and continue to let our bodies heal. I'm not doing ANYTHING this weekend other than Sunday when I have to attend a USD Alumni event at the Del Mar race track. It will be my first day without ANY crutch so wish me luck everyone! I will of course update everyone over the next couple of days and as always wishing everyone the best and looking forward to reading upcoming posts!
Warmest Regards,
-R
Wow, you sound great Hanna, I'm happy to hear that you're FINALLY starting to feel better! And Zeek, congrats on getting off the Percs, I'm almost positive you won't feel any ill effects because of your short-term use.
It's weird how all of us bought into the "feeling normal" on Subs when it was anything but. I sometimes thought of that when I was taking them but quickly struck the thought out of my mind before it had a chance to grow. Each day I'm "feeling" more and tomorrow is my last day for the Trams. It's day 14/15 for me as the worst part of my day, kind of like Zeek, is when I first wake up. It's when I feel the uncomfortable feelings associated with WD's. I to watch TV for an hour or so before I can really get out of bed.
BTW: Hanna, I also smoke and will be giving that up this year as well but NO WAY is it going to be anytime soon. They are my only relief as well when I'm feeling my worst.
Keep in mind lady and gent that once the initial phase of these WD's are gone we may have to contend with PAWS. DON'T let this discourage you from continuing on out journey's it's just a necessary evil. Also, Hanna, I've traded a couple of private messages with Zeek. Let me know if you can't figure it out and I'll walk you through it. I think all you need is to be logged on before you try sending me one.
It's Friday everyone so let's take it easy this weekend and continue to let our bodies heal. I'm not doing ANYTHING this weekend other than Sunday when I have to attend a USD Alumni event at the Del Mar race track. It will be my first day without ANY crutch so wish me luck everyone! I will of course update everyone over the next couple of days and as always wishing everyone the best and looking forward to reading upcoming posts!
Warmest Regards,
-R
Glad to hear you are feeling good R. I felt crappy this AM but waited till 9:30am to take 3 trams at 50mg each. Half hour later I feel much much better. In fact I felt good except for little energy and an upset stomach. I waited 7 hours to take two more and was feeling fine til then. I just wanted to make sure I stayed feeling decent.
I too have been thinking about quitting smoking. Guess I been doing that for the last 10 years. Now is not the time though.
Hanna hope your doing ok.
You guys have a good weekend.
I too have been thinking about quitting smoking. Guess I been doing that for the last 10 years. Now is not the time though.
Hanna hope your doing ok.
You guys have a good weekend.
Hi guys
Kinda middle of night for me so will keep it brief.
Yeah, had a fallin out with partner today. He called me as I was leaving work and I was with my gay mate, Jay. I told my partner, oh yeah, me and jay are going here and there, etc etc, I didn’t explain that Jay was basically giving me a lift home, but had to stop by to see his mum and collect something along the way...that was it..
My partner sent me a nasty text along the lines of – YEAH, U GO OFF WITH WITH UR FRIENDS THE SECOND YOU FEEL BETTER, WHILE I HAVE BEEN STUCK AT HOME MAKING YOUR DINNER AND DEALING WITH ALL YOUR SHI*T. I WON’T B DOING THAT AGAIN.
I showed up at home about 2mins later saying WTF?
He has been apologising ALL NIGHT!!!!!
BUT, it made me realise, this whole thing aint been at all easy for him (my crying and tantrums, etc etc so I do have some making up to do).
Like I said, middle of night and I can’t see straight cos of my sleeping pills, so I will write more tomorrow. Just gota think about all the ppl i need to thank for putting up with me!!!
Much love. Hanna x
Kinda middle of night for me so will keep it brief.
Yeah, had a fallin out with partner today. He called me as I was leaving work and I was with my gay mate, Jay. I told my partner, oh yeah, me and jay are going here and there, etc etc, I didn’t explain that Jay was basically giving me a lift home, but had to stop by to see his mum and collect something along the way...that was it..
My partner sent me a nasty text along the lines of – YEAH, U GO OFF WITH WITH UR FRIENDS THE SECOND YOU FEEL BETTER, WHILE I HAVE BEEN STUCK AT HOME MAKING YOUR DINNER AND DEALING WITH ALL YOUR SHI*T. I WON’T B DOING THAT AGAIN.
I showed up at home about 2mins later saying WTF?
He has been apologising ALL NIGHT!!!!!
BUT, it made me realise, this whole thing aint been at all easy for him (my crying and tantrums, etc etc so I do have some making up to do).
Like I said, middle of night and I can’t see straight cos of my sleeping pills, so I will write more tomorrow. Just gota think about all the ppl i need to thank for putting up with me!!!
Much love. Hanna x
OH, dear. Feel a bit embarrassed about my last post, telling the world about my relationship woes (I was a bit drunk and on my sleeping tabs..oh well!)
R, I have now signed up with the website, but waiting for them to send the activation thingy to my email address, so I should be able to PM you soon, which is good, as I have some good news to tell you...(not related to the withdrawals...something else which is happening in my life....no I am not pregnant!! Lol).
It’s weird that I don’t feel that bad in the morning with the withdrawals like u guys, but I think it may be because I am up and down all night and I use my lofexidine along with the sleeping tablets to put me back to sleep (at like 3am) so perhaps that keeps the withdrawals at bay when I wake up around 6/7am. I just find that I have more energy after I have had a rest.
Like I said, yesterday was good. I felt positive and was laughing and joking. After work, I had to walk to my friends car and he had parked it about 10mins from the office.....it was then that I realised that I am not thru the woods yet.....I could hardly stand by the time we got there!!!
The other thing, like Zeek says, is the back pain. I made the mistake of getting some really strong painkillers from the chemist the other day, but I am not really allowed them as they react with the other meds. I thought, oh well, I will be ok.. Not so..I had serious tummy pain for 2 days. You just don’t need that when you are already in pain! I have found the gel prescribed by my GP has been brilliant tho. I got one of my GFs/ colleagues to rub it into my back yesterday at work and that kept the pain at bay.
So, yeah, apart from the weakness, I am feeling so much better than I did this time last week (god, I spent literally the whole weekend crying!!!! I hope I won’t be shedding even 1 tear this weekend...fingers crossed)
Zeek, yes I am trying to eat- thanks for your kind words...It’s really hard sometimes. Everything has to be forced down, but I felt awful the other night when I had starved myself all day, so I am really trying now. If I can’t, I am having a protein drink....
When will my poor appetite come back???!!! I want to crave junk food, and sushi and....well, everything!
R, sounds like u have an exciting day planned for Sunday (sounds very glam!!)..make sure you don’t overdo it today (Saturday) so you can enjoy it to the max...you will be fine!
Zeek, make sure you also keep resting and try to get out of the house as well.
Sorry guys, I sound like your mother don’t I?!!
I am planning to head to Walthamstow market in east London today (the longest street market in Europe did u know!!!). Yeah, it will probably be busy, but me and my partner will take it easy, have a wander, stop for lunch, and maybe I will treat myself to something. It’s supposed to be a scorching hot day, so I don’t wana be holed up here all day- I wana be out enjoying the sunshine...and shopping (my fave hobby!)
Well, it’s still early, so don’t know how I will be feeling today (in terms of the withdrawals). Going to have some brekkie now, jump in the shower and wait for my partner to get home from work so we can head out...(shopping yay!! lol)
I will check in later x
R, I have now signed up with the website, but waiting for them to send the activation thingy to my email address, so I should be able to PM you soon, which is good, as I have some good news to tell you...(not related to the withdrawals...something else which is happening in my life....no I am not pregnant!! Lol).
It’s weird that I don’t feel that bad in the morning with the withdrawals like u guys, but I think it may be because I am up and down all night and I use my lofexidine along with the sleeping tablets to put me back to sleep (at like 3am) so perhaps that keeps the withdrawals at bay when I wake up around 6/7am. I just find that I have more energy after I have had a rest.
Like I said, yesterday was good. I felt positive and was laughing and joking. After work, I had to walk to my friends car and he had parked it about 10mins from the office.....it was then that I realised that I am not thru the woods yet.....I could hardly stand by the time we got there!!!
The other thing, like Zeek says, is the back pain. I made the mistake of getting some really strong painkillers from the chemist the other day, but I am not really allowed them as they react with the other meds. I thought, oh well, I will be ok.. Not so..I had serious tummy pain for 2 days. You just don’t need that when you are already in pain! I have found the gel prescribed by my GP has been brilliant tho. I got one of my GFs/ colleagues to rub it into my back yesterday at work and that kept the pain at bay.
So, yeah, apart from the weakness, I am feeling so much better than I did this time last week (god, I spent literally the whole weekend crying!!!! I hope I won’t be shedding even 1 tear this weekend...fingers crossed)
Zeek, yes I am trying to eat- thanks for your kind words...It’s really hard sometimes. Everything has to be forced down, but I felt awful the other night when I had starved myself all day, so I am really trying now. If I can’t, I am having a protein drink....
When will my poor appetite come back???!!! I want to crave junk food, and sushi and....well, everything!
R, sounds like u have an exciting day planned for Sunday (sounds very glam!!)..make sure you don’t overdo it today (Saturday) so you can enjoy it to the max...you will be fine!
Zeek, make sure you also keep resting and try to get out of the house as well.
Sorry guys, I sound like your mother don’t I?!!
I am planning to head to Walthamstow market in east London today (the longest street market in Europe did u know!!!). Yeah, it will probably be busy, but me and my partner will take it easy, have a wander, stop for lunch, and maybe I will treat myself to something. It’s supposed to be a scorching hot day, so I don’t wana be holed up here all day- I wana be out enjoying the sunshine...and shopping (my fave hobby!)
Well, it’s still early, so don’t know how I will be feeling today (in terms of the withdrawals). Going to have some brekkie now, jump in the shower and wait for my partner to get home from work so we can head out...(shopping yay!! lol)
I will check in later x
Hanna,
Glad to hear your going to have a get out and enjoy the day with your partner. Sounds like you guys need some good quality time together. My wife has a very had time understanding what I am going through. Time together today should be good for the both of you. As you get better you communication with him and how you feel should improve.
The family and I will be doing something fun after these storms blow through.
Sushi sounds good. There is a good sushi restaurant down the street from us. I plan check it out when I am feeling a bit better.
I don't know about you guys, but I am remembering my dreams again. While on sub dreams that I remembered were few and far between.
Hanna, hope you have a good day and find something nice to buy. You too R.
Glad to hear your going to have a get out and enjoy the day with your partner. Sounds like you guys need some good quality time together. My wife has a very had time understanding what I am going through. Time together today should be good for the both of you. As you get better you communication with him and how you feel should improve.
The family and I will be doing something fun after these storms blow through.
Sushi sounds good. There is a good sushi restaurant down the street from us. I plan check it out when I am feeling a bit better.
I don't know about you guys, but I am remembering my dreams again. While on sub dreams that I remembered were few and far between.
Hanna, hope you have a good day and find something nice to buy. You too R.
Hey Zeek,
Just back from my little shopping trip. Didn’t go totally to plan. Ended up in tears again. It was so hot and I felt so weak after a little while and it was a long walk back to the bus stop. I did buy a few bits, but I couldn’t carry them cos I was so weak and my partner was also hot and bothered (he doesn’t do too well in the heat) so he behaved like he was getting frustrated with me, which made me worse.
Anyway...no one died. We are home now and I am splayed out on the sofa with a cool drink (and partner has apologised for being a moody git!). I think I just felt a little too enthusiastic cos I felt better, but I am not ready for long trips across London on the bus/ tube! I think I still need to take it easy!
I totally know where you are coming from when u say your wife is having a hard time understanding what you’re going thru. To be fair, no one understands unless they have been there and done it. This is the hardest thing I have had to deal with in my life and my partner has got frustrated with me as well at times. It must be hard for them too (but not as hard as it is for us!).
No, I haven’t been remembering my dreams yet!! I guess that is to come! I think that our bodies are going thru a lot of change right now so we may all react in different and weird ways.
I can imagine I will sleep well later as I have totally worn my body out. I suppose that’s one positive from today’s trip (plus I managed to get a few bits that I needed .....and some clothes- which I don’t need....I have too many....but hey, I am a girl and I needed cheering up........that’s my excuse and I am sticking to it).
Will check in later ....x
Just back from my little shopping trip. Didn’t go totally to plan. Ended up in tears again. It was so hot and I felt so weak after a little while and it was a long walk back to the bus stop. I did buy a few bits, but I couldn’t carry them cos I was so weak and my partner was also hot and bothered (he doesn’t do too well in the heat) so he behaved like he was getting frustrated with me, which made me worse.
Anyway...no one died. We are home now and I am splayed out on the sofa with a cool drink (and partner has apologised for being a moody git!). I think I just felt a little too enthusiastic cos I felt better, but I am not ready for long trips across London on the bus/ tube! I think I still need to take it easy!
I totally know where you are coming from when u say your wife is having a hard time understanding what you’re going thru. To be fair, no one understands unless they have been there and done it. This is the hardest thing I have had to deal with in my life and my partner has got frustrated with me as well at times. It must be hard for them too (but not as hard as it is for us!).
No, I haven’t been remembering my dreams yet!! I guess that is to come! I think that our bodies are going thru a lot of change right now so we may all react in different and weird ways.
I can imagine I will sleep well later as I have totally worn my body out. I suppose that’s one positive from today’s trip (plus I managed to get a few bits that I needed .....and some clothes- which I don’t need....I have too many....but hey, I am a girl and I needed cheering up........that’s my excuse and I am sticking to it).
Will check in later ....x
Hi guys,
I hope you are both well and recovering. I assume as you haven’t checked in for a bit, you are doing good and getting on with your life without the horrible sub!!
I have been up and down, but every day is getting better. I am so glad i am finally through this. I feel a bit restless though – i guess i am finding it a bit weird without my ‘habit’.
My sleep pattern is all over the place right now. I am tending to wake up at 3am, and go to bed at 8/9pm. Not good. Need to make the effort to change that. I am tempted to ask for more sleeping pills but i will have to stop them at some point anyway, so i may as well try now.
Appetite has got back to normal (hurray!!!!). I even ordered Chinese last night and enjoyed it immensely. I think its helped that the lofexidine is nearly done, so my mouth, throat and teeth don’t feel like sandpaper.
I was unable to log in as a proper member on this site, which is really annoying, as i would have PMd you to tell you my good news. If i manage it (i have emailed the website) i will get in touch. I have shared enough of my life on here and don’t want to give away every single thing about me !
R, I was thinking about you as you have your holiday today. I hope it goes really well. I think you will enjoy yourself because you are free from the sub, so make the most of it and celebrate!
Zeek, i hope you are doing ok, and getting stronger every day. I have to say that i couldn’t have got thru this withdrawal without you and R.
Love to you both x
I hope you are both well and recovering. I assume as you haven’t checked in for a bit, you are doing good and getting on with your life without the horrible sub!!
I have been up and down, but every day is getting better. I am so glad i am finally through this. I feel a bit restless though – i guess i am finding it a bit weird without my ‘habit’.
My sleep pattern is all over the place right now. I am tending to wake up at 3am, and go to bed at 8/9pm. Not good. Need to make the effort to change that. I am tempted to ask for more sleeping pills but i will have to stop them at some point anyway, so i may as well try now.
Appetite has got back to normal (hurray!!!!). I even ordered Chinese last night and enjoyed it immensely. I think its helped that the lofexidine is nearly done, so my mouth, throat and teeth don’t feel like sandpaper.
I was unable to log in as a proper member on this site, which is really annoying, as i would have PMd you to tell you my good news. If i manage it (i have emailed the website) i will get in touch. I have shared enough of my life on here and don’t want to give away every single thing about me !
R, I was thinking about you as you have your holiday today. I hope it goes really well. I think you will enjoy yourself because you are free from the sub, so make the most of it and celebrate!
Zeek, i hope you are doing ok, and getting stronger every day. I have to say that i couldn’t have got thru this withdrawal without you and R.
Love to you both x
Hey Hanna,
So glad to hear you are doing much better. I'm not sleeping well either. I get about 4 hr if I'm lucky, and then I'm tossing around all night. My back is killing, and I have very little energy. Oh yea, my stomach is still tweaked too. It's worth it though, I'm sub free and never going back to that c**p.
Ive been interviewing with a company this week. That has been a struggle, but I'm getting through it. Again I'm glad to hear your doing better. I also would not have made it without you and R. Thanks to both of you!
So glad to hear you are doing much better. I'm not sleeping well either. I get about 4 hr if I'm lucky, and then I'm tossing around all night. My back is killing, and I have very little energy. Oh yea, my stomach is still tweaked too. It's worth it though, I'm sub free and never going back to that c**p.
Ive been interviewing with a company this week. That has been a struggle, but I'm getting through it. Again I'm glad to hear your doing better. I also would not have made it without you and R. Thanks to both of you!
hey Zeek, great to hear from you...
Yep, can totally relate to what you're feeling now. I am not sleeping, and I have no energy. Driving me crazy
its like we have managed to get thru all the pain and stll have to wait for our reward of a normal life.
i am aware it can take up to 3 months, and can see why its easy to relapse if you feel weak. I just want to be back to normal!
I feel the same- couldnt have got thru the worst of it without you guys! I dont know how anyone gets thru this without support. I have been lucky- had my keyworker, doctor, colleagues and friends have been great. My partner has been amazing. He is still amazing- he is in the kitchen now making me dinner, bless him. This has really tested his love for me and he passed with flying colours!!!
I will keep going. I will try to stay strong. I have to. I cant go back and i dont want to go back....i am back to me- feisty and brave!
X
Yep, can totally relate to what you're feeling now. I am not sleeping, and I have no energy. Driving me crazy
its like we have managed to get thru all the pain and stll have to wait for our reward of a normal life.
i am aware it can take up to 3 months, and can see why its easy to relapse if you feel weak. I just want to be back to normal!
I feel the same- couldnt have got thru the worst of it without you guys! I dont know how anyone gets thru this without support. I have been lucky- had my keyworker, doctor, colleagues and friends have been great. My partner has been amazing. He is still amazing- he is in the kitchen now making me dinner, bless him. This has really tested his love for me and he passed with flying colours!!!
I will keep going. I will try to stay strong. I have to. I cant go back and i dont want to go back....i am back to me- feisty and brave!
X
Dear Hanna, R and Zeek
It's 6 am in the morning, day 7 on withdrawal from Suboxone for both my honey & me and I want to THANK the 3 of you for all the encouragement, knowledge and hope you have shared with the rest of us. We both feel like c**p but we are in it for 1 day at a time. Anything is better than the Oxy and the Sub. I'm a cancer patient, my honey has bad back problems but we wanted off the stuff to enjoy our lives again. Thank you for giving us hope!!!! Just trying to get thru one day at a time.
It's 6 am in the morning, day 7 on withdrawal from Suboxone for both my honey & me and I want to THANK the 3 of you for all the encouragement, knowledge and hope you have shared with the rest of us. We both feel like c**p but we are in it for 1 day at a time. Anything is better than the Oxy and the Sub. I'm a cancer patient, my honey has bad back problems but we wanted off the stuff to enjoy our lives again. Thank you for giving us hope!!!! Just trying to get thru one day at a time.
Hey, I am so glad our stories have helped...It is a long hard road, but you can make it! I promise. As you can see, I started my detox over a month ago, and the first 2-3 weeks are the worst, but you need to be prepared…after that, you may not bounce right back- the pain (and the restless legs, etc) will go, but you may still feel weak and depressed (the depression is the worst part) and you will have trouble sleeping. For me, that was the part when I felt it easy to relapse, because I was so frustrated that despite all the pain, I still wasn’t ''normal" and I still couldn’t go out there and get on with life.. I will be honest with you, this weekend was the first time I have felt normal….I was even able to go out and party and didn’t get home til 4am (a record for someone who has been in bed by 9pm for the last month)..but I am soooo happy I have done this. It is like I have been numb for the last 6 yrs and now have my personality back. I think it has probably been harder for me than some, as I was on sub for 6 yrs, so don’t be too worried about my story (and how long it took). Everyone is different and some people feel great after 3 weeks….we are all different I guess…what I am trying to say is don’t give up, even if there are days when you feel really bad..because there is an end in sight…and you will be rewarded for your hard work in the end.. Good luck and stay in touch x
Hang in there DG. It gets better. I'm feeling much better now. I rarely think about it anymore. I just know every day will get better.
Hi R and Hanna!
Zeek
I am on day one off suboxone film. Tried 2x to quit and followed the rules to taper down...please that didnt help. I chose this time. I wana quit this expensive c**p.i have rls, spiders in my skin, runny nose. Flu like , cant eat and bowel issues. This is just day one. Day 3 and 4 will be worse. I called the suboxone hotline she flat out told the life span in 3 days. So i cut my 2mg film four times. Only taking one. I tried 2 quit yesterday but it got bad. I took a piece helped but woke up to full blown withdrawals. So i said f it might as well do this so i can healthy and clean and figure out what to do with my life once im normal again. Im seeng a therapist by suggestion. Im gunna get on welbutrin, maybe for depression. I bought l-tryrosine but idk im scared. I am taking b6. I am taking immodium. And vitamins. Im in pain. But i cant tell my husband he helped me the first 2x i tried to quit. And i had quit for 3 wks! Then i gave in to pills again. Im 30 yrsold i have also recently quit smoking. God thats been hard itself. Im just tryna get thru this. & tamadal is not an option had probs with it. An xanex makes me sick. So im doing it on my own. Oh i walk alot. I force my self to walk and i drink alot of everything. I gotta stay hydrated.
Day two worse than day one. Rls horrible. Aches in bones. Heart racing.just want it to stop. Still forcing myself to get up n move aroubd when I can. Insomnia has kicked in. last night was goid four hrs of good sleep then four hrs of tossing in turning. Ill take it since I got four hrs of deep sleep. My dreams feel surreal. Im 30 yrs old and I just want my mom to wrap her arms around me. This is a true test of my will power. Because they told me day 3 & 4 will be worse. & tmorrow is friday my family will be here to see me like this taking 6 hot baths a day. If i could go back i would rather get help from thepills taper down bc this withdrawal feels like its never ending.