Browse
Health Pages
Categories
we have been together for about a year and a half .ibut only started having sex for about six mo. at the begining of the six mo, we just did mostly just touching each other we would satisfy each other manuely.she didnt tell me any thing about my penis then. it seem to me she was ok with it. it was when i penetrated her that she told me she couldnt handle it. and to stop. at least tried to .penetrate ever since then she has shyed away from haveing intercoursed i think she has a sort of hate between her and my penis. because thats the only thing between our relationship.everthing else is i think fine, do you think that could be the case? i really belive she loves me because if not she would have walked out the door by now. right?
Reply
I think that because it hurt her the first time her natural reaction when you try again is to tense up so he's vagina muscles constrict making her vagina even smaller what is a natural reaction to pain, she doesn't hate your penis she just associates your penis with that painful first time, the best thing to do is not to put pressure on her and except intercourse if she is up for foreplay fine go ahead just not intercourse, as you said earlier it's hard for you to control how deep you in when your in the throws of pleasure.
When you finger her do you use one or two fingers and does her vagina feel tight to enter?
Just give things plenty of time because she must love you because as you say if she didn't she would of left you.
Reply
i use one finger and her vagina does feel tight.she tell me she been with seveal other guys but maybe thats not the truth . i dont know if she wanted to try to prove to me that she had experince alot of sex before.or she didnt want to tell me at all .what do you think?you think that she hideing something ?or do think my imagination is runng wild ?
Reply
If she is from a very religious family I wouldn't think she would be the sort of girl to sleep about specially seeing that you say she seems very shy towards sex, maybe she did have sex with her last boyfriend but not much or she is just saying it to sound experience.
If she had been a virgin and never had sex before or only a couple times then that could of been another reason why it was painful for her reconsidering your size.
I don't think she is hiding anything from you maybe just more embarrassed to say because she just wants to please you, the one thing you need to do is stop over thinking things because that Is one thing that will ruin the relationship between you.
Just treat her like I told you the other day to a romantic meal soft lighting and soft music and even some roses if you can afford them, treat her like the princess she is.
Reply
definitly she wasnt a virgin. yes from her religious background she didnt mess around alot but this is what trouble me that she wasnt a virgin i just cant stand the thought that somebody else already laid hands on her.and had sex with her.to be honest it makes me very jealous and i want to tell her this so bad but i dont because i am afriad to hurt her feeling or start a new problem. do you think i should tell her this?it is eating at me every tim e i think about it . i know that she will cry if i tell her .but what can i do to let my feelings out?
Reply
How can you definitely be sure she wasn't a virgin?
You need to stop being so possessive of her what has happened in her past can't be changed if you carry on like this you will lose her for sure, just forget about that and concentrate on your future together
Reply
i know i tell my self this every day whats in the past is in the past .but i just cant change my feeling.she told me she wasnt a virgin.and if she was shouldnt there be blood or anything else? i know there has not been alot of penetration but i do use my finger in her vagina.and she lets me do it .dont you think she would try to stop me if she was a virgin? i guess i am possessive of her.but i try to hide it do you think she might know that i am possessive of her?may be not in words but in body language
Reply
No just because a girl is a virgin doesn't mean her hymen has to be in tact, there are many ways a hymen can get ruptured without intercourse from simple things like riding a bicycle, gymnastic style stretching exercises, horse riding or simple masturbating or letting her exboyfriend finger her, technically until a penis penetrates the vagina for the first time hymen or no hymen a female is still a virgin.
Yes it probably does show in your body language that to are being a bit possessive towards her and as I said if you don't stop it you are going to loose her, nearly every female these days has a sexual past and a lot are also very independent woman that won't put up with a guy who's jealous of there past. Just forget about who has touched her body before you and respect her wish he she doesn't want to talk about what her and her ex did.
As I said a relationship doesn't have to be just about sex.
Reply

I am probably the only female responding to this question here. The same happened to me when I first started having sex at 13. My boyfriend is a lot older and was huge. 

I think there are a few things you can try.

Try stretching her with your fingers. Make sure she is extremely well lubricated and that cane be if she is really very well aroused and is having an orgasm when you are about to penetrate. You can use lube as well which works extremely well but can get messy. Plenty of oral sex and foreplay will be of immense help. For penetration I guess it is best for the girl to squat and allow penetration as far as she likes and can handle. As she enjoys penetration you can gently push further in so you can penetrate her fully. Please make sure you make her orgasm before you start the process of penetration. She needs to relax and to be less apprehensive. It will work out. My boyfriend was very patient and it took all weekend the first time. He knew I was extremely young and wanted me to have the best first time experience ever. It was wonderful

Reply
some of us seem to start sex so young. I was 11 and I knew my opening was very small and tight. We started by having a bath together with nice smelly oils and then did what dannii said above we tried and tried again gradually having wonderful feelings and we still love each other so much and i thank him for being so kind.
Reply
In regards to the last two posts it's no good saying that he it was both your first times because you never knew what to expect his girlfriend has had intercourse with him before and found it to be a very painful experience.
It's not about keep trying until it gets better its about gaining her confidence in sex before trying again what is going to take time.
Yes your also both right about making her feel relaxed and to make sure she is wet enough as that Is the key factor as well as taking it slow when he penetrates her but until she can get through that barrier of not associating pain during intercourse she isn't going to relax properly, it's like most things if you have a bad experience your reluctant to try it again until you get enough reassurance it will be ok.
I don't know how old you both are now but you was extremely young to be having intercourse specially when your both still developing physically and mentally and having intercourse below the age of 16 is a criminal offence.
Reply
you are totally correct in all you say. Im 15 now and i know it was wrong at 11. Trouble was my mind seemed all grown up and the boy was 16 and i suppose i gave in. At least he stayed on and didn just use me. When i was 11 there were loads of girls and boys doing stuff.
Reply

it is very important to have an understanding boyfriend. My guy being much older was very patient. He tried penetrating me several times but i was uncomfortable. I enjoyed the orgasms through oral and fingering but when it came to being penetrated it felt like I was going to rip. I was feeling so bad because I knew he wanted to do it and I felt so selfish for enjoying it without him and he was making me enjoy it by oral and rubbing my clitoris.
I had a huge orgasm and that enabled him penetrate me.
It wasn't as if it was not enjoyable. It was extremely enjoyable but I was also uncomfortable. It was all new to me. It was something I had never done. I was scared and anxious and wanting to make sure I dont screw up. There were so many mixed emotions.
Contrary to what others may think, it is not wrong to have sex at such an early age as long as the guy is not abusive. This is not rape as some may think. This was consensual. I agreed too even though I may have been young.

Reply
I dont think that thought of being a criminal offence ever occured in my mind. Yes I was extremely young but this is about instinct. It is perfectly normal and a biological thing to want to have and share sex and intimacy. Thats the way we are wired. Laws are artificial and teens do not care about those laws. If we can do it and want to do it we will do it. Instinct triumphs always.
Remember nature has deemed it okay for me to have sex at 13ish. My instincts brought me to have sex. I trust nature NOT man made laws.
Reply
never regret what you did. Society seems to put that feeling of guilt in us. Even though we enjoyed it when we did it we are made to believe that somehow something bad was done to us just because the guy was older. Rubbish. To make matters worse we start believing this rubbish and we are left for decades with this guilt inside us.
You did it at 11. I was turning 13. My bf was much much older than me. Yes he wanted sex. So did I. Guys our age want sex too. So how is it bad when the older guy wants sex. Doesnt make sense to me.
So please dont regret and dont let people make you feel guilty or make you regret your beautiful first experience.
When you say you were used, you are suggesting that somehow you had no brains. I dont think that is true. Yes there is an element of pressure to do it BUT we also had the opportunity to say no but we did it and enjoyed it a lot. Nothing bad about it
Reply