Katy! When is your appointment and what for? If you go again and say nothing you wont get to the bottom of your sinitus or asthma, allergies etc. So I want you to realize IF you are going just because OR IF you REALLY REALLY want some help with all of the c**p you are going through! You are getting delerious again hon! What is it that is making you panicking right now?
Im going for my simuses, as I am finding it hard to breath, eat - cant live without olbas oil.
Ive no idea whats making me panic. Not been out today/cant face it.
This morning, I just felt as though hes taking control 9 with the children) and it really upsets me that I cant do my usual tasks with them , nevermind the rest. Then he cleaned this place, it looked really hoely and so on, and the idea of starting up again makes me terrified.
Its probably not even as hard as I am thinking it will be, I realy ned to get that thinking in my head.
What do you mean "Im delirious"? Im not , just keep thinking theres someone behind me, but I know theres not, and its totally irrational.
I cant believe its nearly September o.O
Hope your allright
Ive no idea whats making me panic. Not been out today/cant face it.
This morning, I just felt as though hes taking control 9 with the children) and it really upsets me that I cant do my usual tasks with them , nevermind the rest. Then he cleaned this place, it looked really hoely and so on, and the idea of starting up again makes me terrified.
Its probably not even as hard as I am thinking it will be, I realy ned to get that thinking in my head.
What do you mean "Im delirious"? Im not , just keep thinking theres someone behind me, but I know theres not, and its totally irrational.
I cant believe its nearly September o.O
Hope your allright
I'm fine! I'm just worried about this rise in panic and sense of doom!
I know I've told you this before Katy, but when my husband and I seperated my son was 16 months old and would cry all the time for his dad!! THAT was hard, but I'll tell you what was harder!! Living with my parents! I lived in their basement, but that didn't stop them from attacking me at every turn! "Look at you! No wonder he cheated on you!" "Pull yourself together you're pathetic!" "You are so fat and just a blimp!" etc. etc. I would have taken living alone over that anyday! I was stuck - they don't have the same programs here as they do there! There isn't anything for single parents, you have to go on a year waiting list for housing etc. It was HELL! But while I was away, I found the lost me - with the help of my friends and myself! It gave me time to realize I am NOT at fault here! I did NOTHING wrong to get this sh*t life!!! HE did, My parents did! I didn't and DON'T deserve this!!! And neither do you Katy! You DO NOT NOT NOT deserve this treatment! You DO deserve better! You just have to get to the bottom of why you feel you don't!
Due to my upbringing, I ALWAYS did self analysis, because I was always told I was a looser, and not loved! So when I met my friends that are STILL my friends today - over 30 years of sisterhood and some brothers - THEY loved me, and that enabled myself to start standing tall! If I make a joke about my boobs or my fat flap! My girls and guys might laugh, but if they know I'm on a downer, they will correct me really quickly - they will actually say "enough Dawn!" You know why? Becaues they love me Katy! My children love me! I don't care what my family thinks about me - ESPECIALLY my sister! My family in Britain and I are VERY close, and I know that I'm not this bad, ugle, evil person that I have been made to believe since I was little! And you too! You have been made to believe you are worthless, or worthLESS than anyone else around you!
RU going to do that to the girls? NO! Just like i don't with my boys! I would rather dig out my eyes with a fork, than make them think for one second they are less than anyone else! They both are told they are loved everyday - useually several times a day - and THAT is what it should be! They will NEVER doubt they have been loved - like you and I and thousands of other women have! Due to what I saw growing up, I NEVER thought of "Something is better than nothing" actually I don't get that thought! I am not a feminisit at ALL!!! BUT I do believe in women feeling equal and just as strong as males! I do believe that NO ONE should feel unloved or a lesser human being! We all have value - except for the truly evil! And that is neither yourself or I RIGHT?!!!
I care about you very much Katy! I just want you to be well and strong! "Something is NOT better than Nothing!" At this point in your life, NOTHING doesn't mean that! It means that you and the girls, will be happier, stronger, healthier, and more stable! You wont be panicked thinking that he's coming home and behind you, or coming into your room! You WILL be safe and secure!
Answer me this honestly OK? Do you REALLY want to stay with him?
I know I've told you this before Katy, but when my husband and I seperated my son was 16 months old and would cry all the time for his dad!! THAT was hard, but I'll tell you what was harder!! Living with my parents! I lived in their basement, but that didn't stop them from attacking me at every turn! "Look at you! No wonder he cheated on you!" "Pull yourself together you're pathetic!" "You are so fat and just a blimp!" etc. etc. I would have taken living alone over that anyday! I was stuck - they don't have the same programs here as they do there! There isn't anything for single parents, you have to go on a year waiting list for housing etc. It was HELL! But while I was away, I found the lost me - with the help of my friends and myself! It gave me time to realize I am NOT at fault here! I did NOTHING wrong to get this sh*t life!!! HE did, My parents did! I didn't and DON'T deserve this!!! And neither do you Katy! You DO NOT NOT NOT deserve this treatment! You DO deserve better! You just have to get to the bottom of why you feel you don't!
Due to my upbringing, I ALWAYS did self analysis, because I was always told I was a looser, and not loved! So when I met my friends that are STILL my friends today - over 30 years of sisterhood and some brothers - THEY loved me, and that enabled myself to start standing tall! If I make a joke about my boobs or my fat flap! My girls and guys might laugh, but if they know I'm on a downer, they will correct me really quickly - they will actually say "enough Dawn!" You know why? Becaues they love me Katy! My children love me! I don't care what my family thinks about me - ESPECIALLY my sister! My family in Britain and I are VERY close, and I know that I'm not this bad, ugle, evil person that I have been made to believe since I was little! And you too! You have been made to believe you are worthless, or worthLESS than anyone else around you!
RU going to do that to the girls? NO! Just like i don't with my boys! I would rather dig out my eyes with a fork, than make them think for one second they are less than anyone else! They both are told they are loved everyday - useually several times a day - and THAT is what it should be! They will NEVER doubt they have been loved - like you and I and thousands of other women have! Due to what I saw growing up, I NEVER thought of "Something is better than nothing" actually I don't get that thought! I am not a feminisit at ALL!!! BUT I do believe in women feeling equal and just as strong as males! I do believe that NO ONE should feel unloved or a lesser human being! We all have value - except for the truly evil! And that is neither yourself or I RIGHT?!!!
I care about you very much Katy! I just want you to be well and strong! "Something is NOT better than Nothing!" At this point in your life, NOTHING doesn't mean that! It means that you and the girls, will be happier, stronger, healthier, and more stable! You wont be panicked thinking that he's coming home and behind you, or coming into your room! You WILL be safe and secure!
Answer me this honestly OK? Do you REALLY want to stay with him?
Hi Dawn. "Do i reallly want to stay withhim?". Okay herse the list of good things sbout him staying here:!) He takes the pressure from me when the kids get too much. 2) hes an adult that knows me (too well) and sometimes talks to me.
Heres a list of negatives:!) hes untrustworthy. 2) He hurts me verbally. 3) He physically hurt me. 4) He hurts me in other ways. 5) he doesnt respect anything about me. 6) He uses the children as a tooll to get at me. 7)He pushes all my insecure buttons and lays with them till the knobs fall off. 8)Thats the phone...I thnk the answers No!
Heres a list of negatives:!) hes untrustworthy. 2) He hurts me verbally. 3) He physically hurt me. 4) He hurts me in other ways. 5) he doesnt respect anything about me. 6) He uses the children as a tooll to get at me. 7)He pushes all my insecure buttons and lays with them till the knobs fall off. 8)Thats the phone...I thnk the answers No!
Sorry-got interrupted there. My mum is complaining of the same dizzy head thing too.Theres definately something there.
Ok, Sometimes I do think I asked for it. I was 21 when I met this guy.probably still traumatised by the events before. At that time id probably have felt safe with a sociopathic elephant man. When I think Iabout the elephat man though (I think about total innocence) but combined with the sociopathic tendencies, I think that sums him up well -really do. (What a shame I cant see it differently)
That was mum calling. She always checks to see Im okay. Shes seen me in action and was glad when i ended up taking anti depressants from the doctor, she jnew i wasnt myself for years.But now she sks these questions and I just want to run away!
Sorry, Im loosing my thread of thinking. Sometimes I just want to forget about it. Sometimes i just try and make it vanish. Then when I wake out of it, I want to cry/jowl, in fact, the truth be told, Ive been known to scream!
The thing is I self doubted way before I met him.like you. Did you and your husband get back together or did you meet somone else ? How did you meet ? (If you did) Im all over the place. cant stay focused.
Ok, hope to speak to you soon. I guwss Im insecure that i will end up in some dum p alone and even more depressed.
Im glad to hear your fine. Its good to know. Is your head better? Are the doctors going to have to do more surgery-or do you just not want to think about it just now? Hopw your all right. im tired and ran out of olbas!
Ok, Sometimes I do think I asked for it. I was 21 when I met this guy.probably still traumatised by the events before. At that time id probably have felt safe with a sociopathic elephant man. When I think Iabout the elephat man though (I think about total innocence) but combined with the sociopathic tendencies, I think that sums him up well -really do. (What a shame I cant see it differently)
That was mum calling. She always checks to see Im okay. Shes seen me in action and was glad when i ended up taking anti depressants from the doctor, she jnew i wasnt myself for years.But now she sks these questions and I just want to run away!
Sorry, Im loosing my thread of thinking. Sometimes I just want to forget about it. Sometimes i just try and make it vanish. Then when I wake out of it, I want to cry/jowl, in fact, the truth be told, Ive been known to scream!
The thing is I self doubted way before I met him.like you. Did you and your husband get back together or did you meet somone else ? How did you meet ? (If you did) Im all over the place. cant stay focused.
Ok, hope to speak to you soon. I guwss Im insecure that i will end up in some dum p alone and even more depressed.
Im glad to hear your fine. Its good to know. Is your head better? Are the doctors going to have to do more surgery-or do you just not want to think about it just now? Hopw your all right. im tired and ran out of olbas!
There's the answer Katy! So now what are you going to do!
Ok, your right.Ill hand my housing application form in tomorrow-if I can make it there. Ill find a way!
I cant believe the news, such a sad story about the american. it really upsert me.
i could always sign the papershes stated that he doesnt want custodial rights, but I cant help but question why he waants me to sign them-does he think there not his children????
Woke this morning with tons of watery stuff coming out my ears, and we are all stuffed up!
Hope your okay, hope to hear from you soon, katy
i could always sign the papershes stated that he doesnt want custodial rights, but I cant help but question why he waants me to sign them-does he think there not his children????
Woke this morning with tons of watery stuff coming out my ears, and we are all stuffed up!
Hope your okay, hope to hear from you soon, katy
Hey Dawn. Im in panic mode again. I managed to get back from the school alone, but so shaky and felt like I was going to fall/colapse as everything was spinning. My right leg has really hot varicose veins, and Ive been getting really bad runs, the I got back here and I hope this is nothing, but went to the lou and Im panicing now as there were droplets of blood on the tissue paper. Nothing to cry home about -but I know its not right.
Im thinking, right, if I make a major change to my life....(which is happening) and it might be easier in a nicer enviorment (ie ) here once the kitchen etc has been done up-that I want feel like such a failuer and want to look after me and the girls better, that he want have anything on me to argue his rights for the children, so I may just sign these papers..In fact, sod it, Ill do both.
Going to go and see if I can find anything out on this down below problem.
Okay, this is not major this is mild!!!
Im thinking, right, if I make a major change to my life....(which is happening) and it might be easier in a nicer enviorment (ie ) here once the kitchen etc has been done up-that I want feel like such a failuer and want to look after me and the girls better, that he want have anything on me to argue his rights for the children, so I may just sign these papers..In fact, sod it, Ill do both.
Going to go and see if I can find anything out on this down below problem.
Okay, this is not major this is mild!!!
I dont know how good google is, but reckon it must have something to do with my varicose veins. Why does everything always have to go wrong all at the same time?
Stress causes intermitant bleeding, since you just had your period, it will be from that! BUT I still want you to get checked out! When will you go to the doctors Katy?!!! 8-| Droplets of blood is NOT a thing to just pass off on and GOOGLE!!!! It is something to get checked up on! Your ears are oozing liquid your nose is, your dizzy etc. What is it going to take for you to take this seriously and go to the doctors? What happens if you have the flu or something else? Your just going to let it go by and not do anything about it?!!!!!
Forget about him right now, You are obviously not ready to move on - thus the panick and procrastination!!! Your talking about staying there and being better because your kitchens done?!!! It's a kitchen Katy, it's nothing different it's another door to slam shut that's all!
Varicose veins will have NOTHING to do with vaginal bleeding! You could even have a Urinary tract infection - which causes bleeding sometimes! You are physically suffering so much! PLEASE explain to me why you insist on not getting help for all of these problems? I am at a loss here why you refuse to see anyone about all this c**p!!!
Forget about him right now, You are obviously not ready to move on - thus the panick and procrastination!!! Your talking about staying there and being better because your kitchens done?!!! It's a kitchen Katy, it's nothing different it's another door to slam shut that's all!
Varicose veins will have NOTHING to do with vaginal bleeding! You could even have a Urinary tract infection - which causes bleeding sometimes! You are physically suffering so much! PLEASE explain to me why you insist on not getting help for all of these problems? I am at a loss here why you refuse to see anyone about all this c**p!!!
Erm- it came from the other hole -thanks, for rmeinding me...Id forgotten about that. Its passed whatever it was. Though ive now got some skin thing going on, mum said she has had the exact same thing and it spread to her face she ended up at her doctors when it spread down her back. she also got the dizzie thing.
I dont think its urgent.Ireckon when somethig will be urgent ill be straight to a and e...im either panicing about my health or in total denial, and thers nothing wrong thing going on. It was only little red spots on the tissue paper, but I know Ive not scratched myself.
Met my mum today, and yes, shes kknows about the drinking now, which is helping as its making me a bit better, plus shes making me go home next weekend so to keep an eye on me.
Your right about the kitchen-i do fel though, that there has to be a time when he might go "Ive had enough" or am I just in denial and dreaming? (Probably) It also makes me feel like I am a lazy clout. the children know that we are supposed to be seperating and i know they are worrying so I am going to have to do this quickly.(That is, sort myself out).
On another issue-this must have been a good day for me, I decided to rtry good old make up, ( again) the problem with me is I rub my eyes and end up looking like a panda, instead of a lady with class. but managed it today, and friends comented on it, so that cheered me up a bit. I know thats vein, but no one ever says i look good, or well ( well rarely) so I was surprised. I know thats so vein, but its amazing how little things can make you want more for yourself.
Ive got the doctors next Friday, Ill probably not mention the bottom thing to him ( whye to embarassing unless it happens again)
Though all the females on my mums side suffer from polyps in that region ( jee whizz) i hope theyve not given me them 8-|
HmmI will eventually get out of this. I have too. I think a break at mum swill help me on my way, and then il just get onto it.
Anyway, hope your all right.
Take care Katy.
I dont think its urgent.Ireckon when somethig will be urgent ill be straight to a and e...im either panicing about my health or in total denial, and thers nothing wrong thing going on. It was only little red spots on the tissue paper, but I know Ive not scratched myself.
Met my mum today, and yes, shes kknows about the drinking now, which is helping as its making me a bit better, plus shes making me go home next weekend so to keep an eye on me.
Your right about the kitchen-i do fel though, that there has to be a time when he might go "Ive had enough" or am I just in denial and dreaming? (Probably) It also makes me feel like I am a lazy clout. the children know that we are supposed to be seperating and i know they are worrying so I am going to have to do this quickly.(That is, sort myself out).
On another issue-this must have been a good day for me, I decided to rtry good old make up, ( again) the problem with me is I rub my eyes and end up looking like a panda, instead of a lady with class. but managed it today, and friends comented on it, so that cheered me up a bit. I know thats vein, but no one ever says i look good, or well ( well rarely) so I was surprised. I know thats so vein, but its amazing how little things can make you want more for yourself.
Ive got the doctors next Friday, Ill probably not mention the bottom thing to him ( whye to embarassing unless it happens again)
Though all the females on my mums side suffer from polyps in that region ( jee whizz) i hope theyve not given me them 8-|
HmmI will eventually get out of this. I have too. I think a break at mum swill help me on my way, and then il just get onto it.
Anyway, hope your all right.
Take care Katy.
So are we talking about hemmoroids? If so Preperation H will take care of that! So if your mom had a rash all over her face and back, and dizzie what did she do about it? And what was it? Friday is a long time for you to suffer, and you know as well as I do that VOILA! the symptoms will be gone by then! Anyway I can't make you go and get help! I don't know when you will get help or leave this guy - whom will NEVER leave - you know that though! Did you put away the letter for the apartment?
Hi dawn- the letter is sitting right here! I just wish hed gooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!! Okay, I need to accept that !Though its a bit of a debate, for instance, my sister range last niht .told me to get 50/50 custody and become a nurse. That way we both get to seee the children equally, Ill be more independant and not worry about my iwn selfish issues and (see I cant make a decision for myself, that makes me anxious and then depressed!!!) Why am I like this?????
My sister has a new boyfriend!!!
Still have sinisitus and excema on my arms, mum was just given her usual beconase and cream and told it was an alergy to suncream. Mums also been crippled with something-she couudl hardly walk yesterday due to reall pain in all her joints.
Ive had this sinus thing ofr over a year-thats why I didnt think it urgent.
I know this sounds stupid, but had a coffee and went really dizze-do you think it could be caffeine intolerance???
This is the other weird thing, while I wish he would just go-im seem to be in total fear of being on my own...and even though I know he went on a date after his shift last night, I still wanted to know who he was with and what he was up to? then felt this urge to pull him by the ear and get him out the house???
I spoke to mum about things yesterday. I stated"Once someone has done that to you-theres no going back-if yougo back in to bed with them , theyll just do it again and think its acceptable, and thatrs when you know its not right, and if you go back into bed with them , then you have absolutely no shame-even if they are aggressive". I know that some people ar beaten up before these acts or during -hmmm, how would I knkow that????Anyway, she said "Your right, you cant be treated like that" then he came home and he was all ncey nicey to her, and horrible to me, and then still hanging in my ouse lke a smellie odd sock and dating!!!!!!!! o.O o.O o.O o.O >:( %-) When im i going to get it together, stop cuddling lamposts and tress and get this stuff in my head sorted out??????? When ? and wy is it still damaging me? Why is he still managaing to get his claws into me and im hiding here?Why?
Yes -dawn your 100% right. I have to get a new place!Im angry with myself, let alone him, and thinking about going back to bed, but ive 2 toilets and a kitchen to empty :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D Looking forwad to the new kitchen though(even if it is quality for a week) going to buy a microwave so we can eat for the week.
Take care, Katy
My sister has a new boyfriend!!!
Still have sinisitus and excema on my arms, mum was just given her usual beconase and cream and told it was an alergy to suncream. Mums also been crippled with something-she couudl hardly walk yesterday due to reall pain in all her joints.
Ive had this sinus thing ofr over a year-thats why I didnt think it urgent.
I know this sounds stupid, but had a coffee and went really dizze-do you think it could be caffeine intolerance???
This is the other weird thing, while I wish he would just go-im seem to be in total fear of being on my own...and even though I know he went on a date after his shift last night, I still wanted to know who he was with and what he was up to? then felt this urge to pull him by the ear and get him out the house???
I spoke to mum about things yesterday. I stated"Once someone has done that to you-theres no going back-if yougo back in to bed with them , theyll just do it again and think its acceptable, and thatrs when you know its not right, and if you go back into bed with them , then you have absolutely no shame-even if they are aggressive". I know that some people ar beaten up before these acts or during -hmmm, how would I knkow that????Anyway, she said "Your right, you cant be treated like that" then he came home and he was all ncey nicey to her, and horrible to me, and then still hanging in my ouse lke a smellie odd sock and dating!!!!!!!! o.O o.O o.O o.O >:( %-) When im i going to get it together, stop cuddling lamposts and tress and get this stuff in my head sorted out??????? When ? and wy is it still damaging me? Why is he still managaing to get his claws into me and im hiding here?Why?
Yes -dawn your 100% right. I have to get a new place!Im angry with myself, let alone him, and thinking about going back to bed, but ive 2 toilets and a kitchen to empty :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D Looking forwad to the new kitchen though(even if it is quality for a week) going to buy a microwave so we can eat for the week.
Take care, Katy
So you are his maid his cook his punching bag, he might as well start paying you for being his maid!!! He's DONE Obviously Katy! He has NO intention of making this work! He treats you and talks to you like a dog! He's cheating on you RIGHT under your nose! YET you still want to be with him! You ARE alone Katy! With him in the room you ARE alone! He's NOT there, he's with another woman or women!!! He couldn't care less about you, and you REALLY have to realize this! He WILL jump to the next woman when the time is right! It is ObVIOUSLY not affecting him one iotta compared to you!!!! He can live like this for the rest of his life!!! Why the hell should he leave this?!! He sees his kids, he has a cooked meal, he has a scrub maid to keep the place tidy, and make his family welcome! He is getting a new kitchen and updates, and he doesn't have to pay a BLOODY RED CENT to the up keep of the children! MAN Katy Can I move in?!!!!!!! I mean really, I am surprised there's not loosers lining up around the block to get a piece of this action!!! No responsibility, no caring, full belly, warm bed, a SLAPPER on the side, going out for beers and golf and no one to answer too!!! YIPPEE!! You should advertise on the internet for other flat "mates"!
Why in the hell would he leave? He's NOT going anywhere!!!! Like he said Katy - he's waiting for you to die first!!! That about says it all! He's getting worse - now dating and screwing around - because he KNOWS you have ZERO intention of doing anything about it! He was worried for a second, but as soon as that letter hasn't been mailed he KNEW!!! He knew he can bring booze home and drink infront of you and tempt you, he knew he can call you every name in the book - and probably push you around that you black out on - and you will NOT LEAVE!!!! He thinks of you as this weak door mat! And WILL take EVERYTHING he gives you! He has NO respect for you! And he knows you have ZERO repect for yourself!
Pretty soon - I guarantee it - you WILL let him back in your bed Katy! Because you will feel the need to show him what he is missing! I DID THAT Katy! After my husband cheated on me, I did EVERYTHING under the sun to top that SLAG!!!! It was HUMILIATING! DEGRADING! And SOUL DESTROYING!!! So STOP THIS!!! MOVE ON and OUT!!!!
MAIL the letter Katy! Get it out there, send Becca to the post box, do something for crying out loud!!! This is the BEGINNING of your new life Katy not the frickin end!!! It's DONE! It's going to get worse! You are looking SO forward to a new KITCHEN! It's NOTHING! WHEN you move out, he will not be able to stay there so he WILL be the one with NOTHING!! You will have the girls and a new place! And they WILL do that up for you! You will have more income and he WILL have to do his share! Do NOT have 50/50, just have Joint custody, with certain days he has to follow! And you WILL have control over the girls!
Your not selfish Katy! You are just beaten down and feel you don't deserve anything! That is selfLESS!!!! So STOP this insanity drop that bloody letter in the box!!! The longer you take the worse you will feel, because he is beating you down! You will start thinking - what does she have that I don't? How can I tell her what a bastard he is? etc. etc. You WILL start following him and you WILL make a scene at the local pub! I GUARANTEE you of that! You will go into a pub where he is with the slag and you will BLOW your LID!! And he will turn to everyone and say "SEE she is NUTS!! just like I told you she was!" And then there will be all these people backing this s**m ball up against you!
I am SO upset right now Katy! I SEE what's going to happen! I Am WORRIED SICK!!! About what might happen if you loose it!! And with your emotions being up and down and not feeling well, I am WORRIED SICK! About what will happen if you do loose it and what will happen with the girls!!! IF you don't do something and get the hell out of there NOW, he could start another relationship and LOOK like he is the most stable of you both and move in with the slapper and go for full custody! That IS the ultimate SLAP! It's the Ultimate "GOT YA YOU b***h"! And i don't put anything passed him!
MAIL THE LETTER KATY! It's your beginning NOT your end! And when you have mailed it, it will be done and then you can make the next step! ENOUGH of this Katy! OK? Talk yourself out of any panic! And show him it is YOU who is the stronger one! Because you ARE! You have endured years of sh*t!!!! That isn't a weak person, it is a STRONG person that takes all of this!
I'm sorry for being hard again, but I KNOW what's coming Katy! And I think so do you! Your mother and sister are oblivious to this! If you were my daughter and he came in when I was there I would have ripped his frickin eyes out! Not been nice to him!!! They don't have a clue!!
My sister left her husband and he was a user and abuser and fathered 3 children while out of the house! He phoned me one night and I let him have it like you've never seen and told him "If you call here again you MF I will call the police, and IF you threaten my sister one more time I WILL tear you apart myself, GOT IT?!!!" And that's the way to handle pricks that are hurting your family! Not "Hello darling how are you, do you want to come on vacation with us?"!! You need defenders of YOU not him! So tell your family that is what you DEMAND! STOP being the mouse Katy!!! Stop letting these people walk all over you, and hold it all in till you are in a full out panic mode! This isn't YOU! This is what TV - like Coronation Street etc. tell you, That no matter what you have to stand by your man! There is NO vow in the world that says "I will take abuse from you, I promise never to leave even after you kick me in my face and choke me, I will love you no matter if you are having sex with another woman, I promise to feel like sludge on the bottom of your shoe, because I am just that - SLUDGE!!" So start the process and start TELLING THE WHOLE DIRTY TRUTH! This isn't your fault Katy, it isn't your cross to bare it is this bastards!!!! The light WILL be shone on his despicable behaviour towards you! I don't care if you were pissed out of your mind and you hit him! Yeah it's not right, but he did it first! If he didn't make you feel so worthless, you wouldn't have gotten to that point! So SHINE the light on him and leave him alone in a lonely house with new kitchen cupboards! Because those walls hold ALL the tears, the fears, the pain, and c**p!!! Start afresh! MAIL THE LETTER
Why in the hell would he leave? He's NOT going anywhere!!!! Like he said Katy - he's waiting for you to die first!!! That about says it all! He's getting worse - now dating and screwing around - because he KNOWS you have ZERO intention of doing anything about it! He was worried for a second, but as soon as that letter hasn't been mailed he KNEW!!! He knew he can bring booze home and drink infront of you and tempt you, he knew he can call you every name in the book - and probably push you around that you black out on - and you will NOT LEAVE!!!! He thinks of you as this weak door mat! And WILL take EVERYTHING he gives you! He has NO respect for you! And he knows you have ZERO repect for yourself!
Pretty soon - I guarantee it - you WILL let him back in your bed Katy! Because you will feel the need to show him what he is missing! I DID THAT Katy! After my husband cheated on me, I did EVERYTHING under the sun to top that SLAG!!!! It was HUMILIATING! DEGRADING! And SOUL DESTROYING!!! So STOP THIS!!! MOVE ON and OUT!!!!
MAIL the letter Katy! Get it out there, send Becca to the post box, do something for crying out loud!!! This is the BEGINNING of your new life Katy not the frickin end!!! It's DONE! It's going to get worse! You are looking SO forward to a new KITCHEN! It's NOTHING! WHEN you move out, he will not be able to stay there so he WILL be the one with NOTHING!! You will have the girls and a new place! And they WILL do that up for you! You will have more income and he WILL have to do his share! Do NOT have 50/50, just have Joint custody, with certain days he has to follow! And you WILL have control over the girls!
Your not selfish Katy! You are just beaten down and feel you don't deserve anything! That is selfLESS!!!! So STOP this insanity drop that bloody letter in the box!!! The longer you take the worse you will feel, because he is beating you down! You will start thinking - what does she have that I don't? How can I tell her what a bastard he is? etc. etc. You WILL start following him and you WILL make a scene at the local pub! I GUARANTEE you of that! You will go into a pub where he is with the slag and you will BLOW your LID!! And he will turn to everyone and say "SEE she is NUTS!! just like I told you she was!" And then there will be all these people backing this s**m ball up against you!
I am SO upset right now Katy! I SEE what's going to happen! I Am WORRIED SICK!!! About what might happen if you loose it!! And with your emotions being up and down and not feeling well, I am WORRIED SICK! About what will happen if you do loose it and what will happen with the girls!!! IF you don't do something and get the hell out of there NOW, he could start another relationship and LOOK like he is the most stable of you both and move in with the slapper and go for full custody! That IS the ultimate SLAP! It's the Ultimate "GOT YA YOU b***h"! And i don't put anything passed him!
MAIL THE LETTER KATY! It's your beginning NOT your end! And when you have mailed it, it will be done and then you can make the next step! ENOUGH of this Katy! OK? Talk yourself out of any panic! And show him it is YOU who is the stronger one! Because you ARE! You have endured years of sh*t!!!! That isn't a weak person, it is a STRONG person that takes all of this!
I'm sorry for being hard again, but I KNOW what's coming Katy! And I think so do you! Your mother and sister are oblivious to this! If you were my daughter and he came in when I was there I would have ripped his frickin eyes out! Not been nice to him!!! They don't have a clue!!
My sister left her husband and he was a user and abuser and fathered 3 children while out of the house! He phoned me one night and I let him have it like you've never seen and told him "If you call here again you MF I will call the police, and IF you threaten my sister one more time I WILL tear you apart myself, GOT IT?!!!" And that's the way to handle pricks that are hurting your family! Not "Hello darling how are you, do you want to come on vacation with us?"!! You need defenders of YOU not him! So tell your family that is what you DEMAND! STOP being the mouse Katy!!! Stop letting these people walk all over you, and hold it all in till you are in a full out panic mode! This isn't YOU! This is what TV - like Coronation Street etc. tell you, That no matter what you have to stand by your man! There is NO vow in the world that says "I will take abuse from you, I promise never to leave even after you kick me in my face and choke me, I will love you no matter if you are having sex with another woman, I promise to feel like sludge on the bottom of your shoe, because I am just that - SLUDGE!!" So start the process and start TELLING THE WHOLE DIRTY TRUTH! This isn't your fault Katy, it isn't your cross to bare it is this bastards!!!! The light WILL be shone on his despicable behaviour towards you! I don't care if you were pissed out of your mind and you hit him! Yeah it's not right, but he did it first! If he didn't make you feel so worthless, you wouldn't have gotten to that point! So SHINE the light on him and leave him alone in a lonely house with new kitchen cupboards! Because those walls hold ALL the tears, the fears, the pain, and c**p!!! Start afresh! MAIL THE LETTER