I am around the age of twelve, a girl, and I literally spend every minute of the day thinking about how I look. I'm 5 feet tall and I weigh 162 pounds. I do not know anyone else who looks like me. Because I am fat and I have severe acne. I have never ever in my entire life met anyone with these two things. My dermatologist has actually referred to me as "One of the most unusual cases I've ever encountered. We'll have to take drastic measures." I'm on an acne cream that could give me tumors. That's how desperate I am. People have actually mistaken me for a burn victim. I've had it since 1st grade! 1ST GRADE. The school nurse actually sne tme home because she was convined I had a horrible rash. I tried to tell her I had acne, but she said, "Sweetie, third graders don't get acne, you just have a very unattractive rash." I go to a school of between 500-600 kids and there 6 over weight kids. We all know each other. But I have acne, they don't. I've been in the yearbook, my full name and picture, for MOST UNATTRACTIVE FEMALE STUDENT every year since I arrived at the school from preschool and up. My mom doesn't understand, my friends don't understand, only people who are going through or have been through this do. I've never met anyone else going through and I'm on the verge on a mental breakdown. I think about how I look all the time, every day. Since the 4th grade all I could do is try not to cry. I've tried to tell my parents but I appear so popular at school to them that they don't believe me. But the people who present themselves as my "friends" at sports games are the same people who talk about me behind my back. I'm quick at talking back to kids who insult me to my face, but they all talk about me behind my back. I've heard them. They call me fat, they insult my face, they call my hair greasy and say I never brush it. I carry a hair brush with me in my back pack and brush my hair every 30 minuts now, I've switched to an oil free shampoo and conditioner, I work out every day. I've cut gluten out of my diet entirely. I've been playing soccer 4 days a week but kids tease me because they had to order a special uniform to fit me. I haven't told y parents about it, but they had to go back into the storage room because no one had ever needed an XL uniform before. I understand there are larger people out there, and I feel for them, but fat is fat. Nothing works for me. People see me and they think, "She's so disgusting, just eating all the time. She'll always be fat." My parents are fat and I hear other parents talking about them. I can't stand that I'm the cause of my parents being talked about. "Oh, they, eat, she eats, they're awful parents." I'm just so sad all the time now. I try to put on a brave face but I think about it all the time because I;m reminded of it everywhere. I can't escape it. The number still isn't going down. If there is any other kids going through the same thing, please, comment. I'm so alone, I'm crying right now, something I've done almost every day for weeks. (I'm not trying to over dramatize things. I'm not suicidal or on the brink of anorexia or bulemia, just to clarify." Today I took a weight loss pill my mom bought me. In third grade when she finally decided she had to tell me to put down the doughnuts and put on a pair of running shoes she said, "Society doesn't like fat people like you." She means well, but she doesn't understand. So far, no one does. People even tell me. We like your personality, but we don't like to look at you. People actually have conversations with me wand don't look at me. I ask them why and they say, "you're fun to talk to but your face... you know..." It's just so hurtful, and it's so hard especially with swim suit season coming up. PLEASE GIVE ME ADVICE. I'm reaching to any girls going through this. Please.
Thank you!
They actually have a section of your year book designated to "The most unnattractive female"!!!! I thought schools were all about building self esteem these days and avoiding bullying. It sounds like they're reinforcing bullying.
I really feel for you. Although I've only suffered from the average amount of achne, I was overweight from year 2 onwards and know your pain. Before that I was a very small child and one day my friends told me that they couldn't hang around me any more because I had gotten fat!! Children can be very cruel.
Even through high school I copped it about being fat. I did loose the weight through weight watchers when I was 16 when I went with my mum but by that time, everyone had the fat girl image built up about me. I started working at pizza hut after school during my later high school years and thats where I met my husband and now we're 26. Since meeting him, I have gained all the weight back, which depressed me a bit but we've been together for 8 years and he said he would love me at whatever size I am.
During high school I also made a couple of really good friends who I am still very much in touch with who have always accepted me the way I am. Forget about the people who will talk behind your back and look for those people who you can really connect with and who will understand you.
I know it seems depressing at the moment and particularly because your body is still changing with puberty approaching but just know that you will find people that will stick by you and love you just the way you are. I went through pretty much all of primary school with no friends but I learnt how to distinguish between the genuine people and the people who will pretend to be your friend and then turn around and stab you in the back.
Unfortunately school is often one big popularity contest as well and its easy for even the best of people to do things they wouldn't usually do to impress the right people. If you ever need to vent or advice, I can try and help but its not an easy situation to be in. Like you, people compliment me on my personality and if you're anything like me then you're made of tough stuff and you will get through it (although along the path, I also shed many tears).
I am now an early childhood teacher and last week, I was reading "Wombat Stew" to the children. I read the part about the wombat being fat and one of the children said "Oh no!! You can't say that!" and I replied that some people are skinny and some people are fat but none of that matters because we like people for who they are and not what they look like. It just takes people like us to change society's views on appearance.
As for the achne, this is probably a stupid question but have you tried "Proactive" I've heard good things.
Now I'm not all better, but time is the only thing that heals.
You will get through this part of life, <3
Alright, lets get this through. im 12, like you, im '5"2 ish and around 130 pounds. I have moderate acne, have hasd it ever since third grade. it starsted with little bumps on my forehead, and then in fifth grade my cheeks, and now in sixth my face. but it got better after i used the nuetragens soaps. it sort of worked. likie the ones with the glyserin in them. But the thing i think that worked the best was maybe lemon. sometimes when i feel like breaking down because of my acne scars, i remind myself that lemon can help.
Lemon(applied topically)lightens acne scars, beacause of its citruc acids, cleans with a powerful citric acid and reduces the pimples themselves, strips away oil in your pores, exfoiliates your skin, and gives it a certain healthy radiant glow.
I put it on at night. I just splash my face with water, and wipe it away GENTLY with a clean paper towel or a normal one. BUT IT MUST BE CLEAN. I think you do that anyways, but still. sometimes i just fan my face until the water dries itself. thats the best way because youre sure it wont clog pores.
then you cut up a small slice of lemon, and either:
a. rub it on your face and allow it to dry enough to stop dripping
b. take a cotton ball or a q-tip (earbud cotton ear cleaner thing) and put lemon juice on that and rub it only on the acne and scars.
WARNING: It WILL burn like hell, but its a good burn, trust me. but its worth it. some of my friends use lemon on thier acne and they have perfectly CLEAR complexions. Im jealous. but if you're more like me, lemon will help, but it wont give you a clear face. good enough, right? but my acne pimples themselves only come around my period time, now. i think the lemon seriously helped.
also, eat a LOT of fruit and veggies. raw. they are soo yummy and VERY good for acne and our weight problems.
Now that ive lectured you about acne, lets talk about your weight.
Needless to say, you need to work out. Imgoing to try and help. I believe in you, you can do this.
1. Quit the junk, sugar, and fatty, high calorie foods. just drop them for a month or two.
2. Build muscle: bodies with stronger muscles burn more calories. if you get real good, than u can lose 100 calories watching t.v!
3. drink LOTS of water. If u drink 2 liters everyady, it will help. it will rid you of all extra water stroed in your body. as well as fat. trust me it will work. youll go thruogh this breakthrough stage, where youll go to the bathroom more often. but then you'll be normal.
4. aand EXERCISE AS MUCH AS YOU CAN! LIFT WEIGHTS, RUN, BIKE, ANYTHING! and if your too embarrassed(like me) to do it outside, find a closed place like your room and jumprope and do jumping jacks. Jumproping can use 20 calories per minute. that a LOT.
As for the others who talk aboutyou, tell them to screw off and get a life. seriously.
-drink lots of water but not more than 8 cups a day
- you may be allergic to sugar don't eat it i was and i went off it (lost almost 15 lbs)
- wash your face 2 times a day no more no less
- run once a day for at least 20 mins (try and reach a personal goal and run for 2 mins walk for 1 min)