You are not alone. I too am a straight guy because I still date women and I prefer women. I only fall for and crush after, and chase women. To me Gay porn is hot( if the men are masculine). Some men are attractive. Attractive enough to get me aroused and get me to orgasm. Male sexuality and libido is arousing, a hard penis is arousing. Do I want it all the time .. no . Can I enjoy it every now and then? Yes. However over the years I have become open minded I have experimented. I can tell you being with a man made me a better lover for my woman. Sex with men is different from sex with women. Men can tell when a man is attractive and when a man's masculinity is attractive. To me women feel better and are better long term lovers but men are more rough, kinkier and more fun then women in bed.I have experienced with a few men and I can tell you that there is a difference between gay, bi, and straight men mentally that is. You can't tell by the exterior sometimes but mentally "wants" are different. You can be straight and still be able to maintain sexual arousal with another man. What separates straight men, bi men,and gay men is who they want to spend the rest of their lives with.
I love watching gay porn it turns me on. I think about being with a man getting more turned on. I have topped oral giving/recieving and watch naked men. Knowing all thos I admit I'm bi sexual next I want to bottom feel the whole sexual experience with men. I wear thongs love the way they feel the way I look wearing them
So gay porn to me is hot however being with a guy is not. To me it's just arousing but gay porn is. I think it's the forbidden hide behind closed doors that gets us off. I respect gay people so don't take this wrong
I have a friend that's gay and he gave me a porn, one night I put it in and watched, my penis was hard in secs ! There is a teen in it that I know I'd suck his penis, I'm straight, but this porn has opened up a door!
I also love girls, have girlfriends that I f**k haré, but also lust over gay porn, all of it, french kissing, blowjobs, rimjobs, giving and reciving anal LOL. However only girls turn my head con the street, and girly body smell arouses me
I used to struggle with my identity as a youth so I experienced sex with boys up until adulthood . I'm in a relationship now with a women and I can honestly say I love her and I'm totally turn on by women period .,but women don't have the sex drive that men have so I still at times find myself looking at gay porn . I like the shapes of men's asses ,and chest . I love seeing totally aggressive men being dominated and becoming submissive. I also know understand my standard on what healthy love is has been shaped by the world. I haven't been back with a male ,but still fantasize about having my own little boy toy,but that's is far as it goes the idea of family and what I believe about God is to important . The longer I stay away from the act the lest I'm turn on by it