Oh my Gosh o.O Come on now, priests are having intercourse with the sisters now a days. I went to a Catholic Elementary School as well as Catholic High School, you now what i did with that bible that i was forced to carry and read? I didn't read it because it was pushed down my throat. I was forced to go to Catholic Schools and carry a bible and fear the Lord and i got knocked up when i was 16 and had an abortion to beat. Priests are sexually molesting little boys in the sanctuary, are they fearing the Lord then? Nuns are leaving the convent because they have had it, this was going on when i was in school many years ago.
It would be a wonderful thing to save yourself until your wedding nite, but jeez, it sometimes doesn't happen that way. I had sex at 14, what is my destiny? Am i going to die and forever burn in the fires of hell, will locusts ravage my armpits, will my children be born with horns? Paaaleezzz!!
Life is what we make it, we can raise our children to fear the Lord, which i am sure we do, but what happens when the Lord is the farthest thing from their minds when those rampant teenage hormones kick in?? One can preach until they are blue, but it happens, period.
It would be a wonderful thing to save yourself until your wedding nite, but jeez, it sometimes doesn't happen that way. I had sex at 14, what is my destiny? Am i going to die and forever burn in the fires of hell, will locusts ravage my armpits, will my children be born with horns? Paaaleezzz!!
Life is what we make it, we can raise our children to fear the Lord, which i am sure we do, but what happens when the Lord is the farthest thing from their minds when those rampant teenage hormones kick in?? One can preach until they are blue, but it happens, period.
OK EVERYONE, JUST FOUND THIS POST AND DECIDED I BETTER WRITE OR GO INSANE. I JUST FOUND OUT MY 13 YEAR OLD DAUGHTER HAD SEX. I SENT HER TO VISIT HER FATHER AND ALL OF THE FAMILY AND WHILE THERE SHE SNUCK OUT IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT AND MEET SOME BOY SHE HARDLY KNEW AND HAD SEX. I FOUND OUT ONLY BY A NOTEBOOK PAPER SHE LEFT OUT, SHE IS NOT HOME BUT AT MY HUSBANDS COUSINS NEXT DOOR STAYING THE NIGHT. I FEEL SO CRUSHED AND TO BE HONEST I HAVE NO CLUE WHAT TO DO, WHAT TO SAY, WHERE TO GO FROM HERE. SHE MOVED TO LIVE WITH ME FULL TIME ABOUT A YEAR AGO AND SINCE THEN SHE HAS OVERDOSED ON PILLS (MINE FROM WHEN I HAD HIP SURGERY AND WAS STUPID BECAUSE I NEVER THOUGH TO PUT THEM UNDER LOCK AND KEY BUT HAD THEM IN MY BEDROOM DRAWER). SHE ALMOST DIED FROM THAT AND I HAD TO PUT HER IN A PSYCH. WARD BECAUSE I NEVER SEEN IT COMING, DID'NT KNOW WHY SHE DID IT OR IF SHE WOULD DO IT AGAIN.
SO YES LIFE HAS BEEN HARD BUT TONIGHT IT FEELS LIKE THIS IS ABOUT AS MUCH AS A PERSON CAN TAKE. I CALLED OVER TO MY HUSBANDS COUSINS AND TALKED TO MY COUSIN, SHE ABOUT FELL OVER. SHE HAS TWO GROWN KIDS AND SHE WAS IN TOTAL SHOCK. I ASKED HER AS ANOTHER PARENT WHAT TO DO, WHAT TO SAY TO HER. SHE WAS SO SHOCKED HERSELF SHE COULD NOT EVEN TELL ME WHAT SHE WOULD DO.
I HAVE NO TRUST IN HER ANYMORE, I LOVE HER AND HAVE TOLD HER SO EVERYDAY BUT I AM AT A LOSS AT WHAT SHE COULD BE THINKING. SHE IS STILL A BABY, ALTHOUGH SHE SEEMS TO THINK SHE IS 20 SOMETHING. I AM SO MAD, SO SAD AND SO UPSET WITH HER I AM DISAPPOINTED IN HER. I HAVE TALKED TO HER ABOUT SEX, ABOUT PROTECTION, ABOUT BOYS AND WHAT ARE ON THE MINDS OF BOYS AS TEENAGERS.
GOD WHAT DO I DO NOW?
UPSET AND OUT OF ANSWERS
SO YES LIFE HAS BEEN HARD BUT TONIGHT IT FEELS LIKE THIS IS ABOUT AS MUCH AS A PERSON CAN TAKE. I CALLED OVER TO MY HUSBANDS COUSINS AND TALKED TO MY COUSIN, SHE ABOUT FELL OVER. SHE HAS TWO GROWN KIDS AND SHE WAS IN TOTAL SHOCK. I ASKED HER AS ANOTHER PARENT WHAT TO DO, WHAT TO SAY TO HER. SHE WAS SO SHOCKED HERSELF SHE COULD NOT EVEN TELL ME WHAT SHE WOULD DO.
I HAVE NO TRUST IN HER ANYMORE, I LOVE HER AND HAVE TOLD HER SO EVERYDAY BUT I AM AT A LOSS AT WHAT SHE COULD BE THINKING. SHE IS STILL A BABY, ALTHOUGH SHE SEEMS TO THINK SHE IS 20 SOMETHING. I AM SO MAD, SO SAD AND SO UPSET WITH HER I AM DISAPPOINTED IN HER. I HAVE TALKED TO HER ABOUT SEX, ABOUT PROTECTION, ABOUT BOYS AND WHAT ARE ON THE MINDS OF BOYS AS TEENAGERS.
GOD WHAT DO I DO NOW?
UPSET AND OUT OF ANSWERS
WELL I JUST FIND OUT MY DAUGHTER 14 HAD SEX FOR THE FIRST TIME AS A FATHER MY HEART FEEL AND AT ONCE I HAD LOST MY LITTLE GIRL FOREVER . AN THE SAD THING IS THAT SHE DIDNT EVEN TELL ME AN HER MOM WE FIND OUT FROM HER AUNT . WHY WONT SHE TELL US , YES WE WOULD HAVE BEEN DISAPPOINTED BUT WE LOVE HER REGRADLESS I JUST NEED TO GET THROUGHT THIS. GOD HELP ME.
Wow it seems to be an epidemic of 14 year olds having sex. I just found out as well that our then 14 now 15 year old is sexually active..and has been deceiving us in many many ways for the last year. At first I felt complete and utter shock, anger, "I'm gonna kill her", how could she, are we so awful as parents that she had to do this to us, we talked about this, she promised us, who is this person???... sound familiar? Then my mother mentor, a friend who is 10 years older then I, said a very wise thing to me. Ask her why she did it, uncover the steps in her thinking and they will be either 1. to rebel against you (which is not most likely the case), or 2 because she thought she was in love, which means it's isn't about YOU! We feel like we have failed them somehow, yet we didn't. You are good parents or your hearts wouldn't be breaking.
Where we have failed them is teaching them about love in the first place, how powerful it is...how it makes us sometimes make regretful decisions. Our world around us has failed them in sending 100's if not thousands of sexual messages into their minds every day, saying this is what you are, this is how you should be. Should we be shocked when kids younger and younger become sexually involved. We talk to our kids about sex...but what do we teach them about love.
We fail them with our reactions after. I admit, I am not proud of how I have spoken to, thought about or treated my daughter. In my reaction I have become a bad mother. Then I realized she is my little girl, remember when you were a teen...how crazy it was, the whirlwind the out of control emotions and feelings. If I don't stick up for her and help her...who is going to? Can their choice be changed now? NO. But what we can do as parents now is believe in them, that they are bigger and better then the choices they made, and don't let this choice to have sex define who they are to you. They are OUR little girls, our daughters who need us to come along aside and help them learn from this, grow from this and wrap our arms around them and say....it's okay we will get through this together. Should there be consequences...yes...that's life. Has trust been broken yes. But lets show them a path to earning our trust back, show them a way to say no next time, show them that they are more valuable then giving themselves away to any boy who says they love them. Teach and coach them about a healthy loving relationship and what that looks like...and that inlcudes that if a boy really does love you like he says...that he will respect you enough to not push or demand, and will wait. Verbally whipping them only tears them down, build them up to see their value and how much more they are and have the potential to be. Believe in them, support them, and guide them as they continue to make decisions. They are going to fail once in a while...we all have. But as loving parents our job is to pull their head up from out of the water BEFORE they drown. So dive in and come along your daughters and bring them to shore. Then start the healing process.
All the best to all of you.
God bless.
Where we have failed them is teaching them about love in the first place, how powerful it is...how it makes us sometimes make regretful decisions. Our world around us has failed them in sending 100's if not thousands of sexual messages into their minds every day, saying this is what you are, this is how you should be. Should we be shocked when kids younger and younger become sexually involved. We talk to our kids about sex...but what do we teach them about love.
We fail them with our reactions after. I admit, I am not proud of how I have spoken to, thought about or treated my daughter. In my reaction I have become a bad mother. Then I realized she is my little girl, remember when you were a teen...how crazy it was, the whirlwind the out of control emotions and feelings. If I don't stick up for her and help her...who is going to? Can their choice be changed now? NO. But what we can do as parents now is believe in them, that they are bigger and better then the choices they made, and don't let this choice to have sex define who they are to you. They are OUR little girls, our daughters who need us to come along aside and help them learn from this, grow from this and wrap our arms around them and say....it's okay we will get through this together. Should there be consequences...yes...that's life. Has trust been broken yes. But lets show them a path to earning our trust back, show them a way to say no next time, show them that they are more valuable then giving themselves away to any boy who says they love them. Teach and coach them about a healthy loving relationship and what that looks like...and that inlcudes that if a boy really does love you like he says...that he will respect you enough to not push or demand, and will wait. Verbally whipping them only tears them down, build them up to see their value and how much more they are and have the potential to be. Believe in them, support them, and guide them as they continue to make decisions. They are going to fail once in a while...we all have. But as loving parents our job is to pull their head up from out of the water BEFORE they drown. So dive in and come along your daughters and bring them to shore. Then start the healing process.
All the best to all of you.
God bless.
hi like other pple said dont bit her head off with a lec tor give her a condom just imcase they do it agian if you say no to it she do it. if you say yes she will do it but just give her condoms think of it this way did you wander what sex feels like when your were her age that what she wandering but she hooked on it itfeels so good to her. hope this helps
less of the teenage male rapists stigma....
me and my girl friend are waiting for her to be sixteen, and we've been going out for two years.
tbh, if your daughter is having sex, just get her the pill.
if you value her intelligence, then accept that she's probably in love. just because the guyus unlikely to be her life partner doesnt mean she's disgraced herself. marriages break up, so you can hardly expect all teenage relationships to last.
just be there for her if they break up, and make sure you help her to stay un-impregnated.
if you arent supportive, she'll still do it, just with more risk.
if you are she'll love you for it
x
me and my girl friend are waiting for her to be sixteen, and we've been going out for two years.
tbh, if your daughter is having sex, just get her the pill.
if you value her intelligence, then accept that she's probably in love. just because the guyus unlikely to be her life partner doesnt mean she's disgraced herself. marriages break up, so you can hardly expect all teenage relationships to last.
just be there for her if they break up, and make sure you help her to stay un-impregnated.
if you arent supportive, she'll still do it, just with more risk.
if you are she'll love you for it
x
This just happened to me as well. I'm a single father raising my daughter thought I could protect her from everything but when she told me that she had lost her virginity a month ago I felt as if someone let the air out of my body. I'm completely lost at what to think about it, what to do about it. I can't look at her in the face any more because I feel so disappointed in her and myself. I really have no advise to give you accept that what's done is done right? It sucks too!
Hi. I'm Megan and I'm 14 years old. I would you to know my opinion in my own point of view:
I'm the 'only girl' of the family but I noticed that they don't seem to be open with me and it pisses me off. Like what your daughter did, I lost my virginity at an early age. At first, I was really, really having fun. You know, I'm like a happy-go-lucky stupid sh*t that doesn't knows anything but to drink, party, drink, party and drink again. Until one day, I realized that 'what if he's not the guy?', 'what if he's just taking advantages?'. I was totally terrified. What I'm pointing here is that when a woman gave her virginity to his 'maybe' guy, in the end she might hugely regret it. Being the typical girl from a normal family is fun.
Brandee, my lovely dear, she needs you now, i swear a lot. I feel for you and your daughter. As a mother, you should support her and I know this might affect her enormously but as much as possible tell her to end their relationship. If her guy's awesome and knows his mistakes, might as well, he'll respect your daughter's decision. And of course, I'm speaking as the daughter, she needs someone to talk to. Explain what's wrong with that and what might be the cause of this and that. I'm telling you, I believe you're a strong woman, enlighten her and make her feel she's special.
I hope this helps you a lot.
x megan
I'm the 'only girl' of the family but I noticed that they don't seem to be open with me and it pisses me off. Like what your daughter did, I lost my virginity at an early age. At first, I was really, really having fun. You know, I'm like a happy-go-lucky stupid sh*t that doesn't knows anything but to drink, party, drink, party and drink again. Until one day, I realized that 'what if he's not the guy?', 'what if he's just taking advantages?'. I was totally terrified. What I'm pointing here is that when a woman gave her virginity to his 'maybe' guy, in the end she might hugely regret it. Being the typical girl from a normal family is fun.
Brandee, my lovely dear, she needs you now, i swear a lot. I feel for you and your daughter. As a mother, you should support her and I know this might affect her enormously but as much as possible tell her to end their relationship. If her guy's awesome and knows his mistakes, might as well, he'll respect your daughter's decision. And of course, I'm speaking as the daughter, she needs someone to talk to. Explain what's wrong with that and what might be the cause of this and that. I'm telling you, I believe you're a strong woman, enlighten her and make her feel she's special.
I hope this helps you a lot.
x megan
Hi brandee, i saw this after searching for parents oppinions on kidds like myself having sex today. Im fourteen years old and i lost my virginity this summer to my boyfriend.I feel like i could never go to my mom and talk to her about it because of the fear i have of her and what she will do. Coming from a teenager, it helps so so much to have parents who set boundaries yet understand. Some parents dont understand these things, and it freaks them out. Talk to your daughter, dont punish her. You cant keep 24/7 patrol over your child either because chances are she'll rebel against you behind your back. Its so true. If your daughter wants to have sex she will do whatever it takes. Set clear boundaries of what you want, but make sure she's safe.
Hi Brandee.
I know just how you feel. I just found out last night that my 14 yr old daughter had sex 3 months ago with a boy who doesn't "love" her. Before I get further into this, let me tell you that I am the most overprotective mom. This event happened at a sleepover of her best friend's house and it happened to be with her best friend's brother that she has "loved" for 2 years. The boy's mother was cleaning her living room and found a note that my daughter wrote to him discussing the event and possible pregnancy. She then called me to let me know about this. Yes, I have had all the talks with my daughter for years about being safe, diseases, pregnancy and she outright lied to me about still be a virgin all this time, especially when she said she was going to wait until she gets married. My daughter is a freshman on the honor roll, so she is smart kid, but she makes stupid decisions. She just turned 15 a few days ago. I never thought in a million years this would happen at 14. The only reason she did it was because she thought he would "love" her back and want to be with her and he doesn't. So her first time was with someone who doesn't "love" her. Needless to say, no more sleepovers ever. Right now, I am so lost, heartbroken, disgusted and disappointed. I thought her and I were always close when it came to this. She outright lied to me last night when I came out and asked her. I called her on it and then she told me the truth. Right now her concern is supposed to be school and going to college for forensics. I bust my butt making sure her grades are good. She is into sports. She talks to her friends though a $300 phone bill has stopped that. She is grounded of course, but for myself ... I just don't know what to do. My daughter is no longer the innocent angel I thought she was.
Moms3bratz
I know just how you feel. I just found out last night that my 14 yr old daughter had sex 3 months ago with a boy who doesn't "love" her. Before I get further into this, let me tell you that I am the most overprotective mom. This event happened at a sleepover of her best friend's house and it happened to be with her best friend's brother that she has "loved" for 2 years. The boy's mother was cleaning her living room and found a note that my daughter wrote to him discussing the event and possible pregnancy. She then called me to let me know about this. Yes, I have had all the talks with my daughter for years about being safe, diseases, pregnancy and she outright lied to me about still be a virgin all this time, especially when she said she was going to wait until she gets married. My daughter is a freshman on the honor roll, so she is smart kid, but she makes stupid decisions. She just turned 15 a few days ago. I never thought in a million years this would happen at 14. The only reason she did it was because she thought he would "love" her back and want to be with her and he doesn't. So her first time was with someone who doesn't "love" her. Needless to say, no more sleepovers ever. Right now, I am so lost, heartbroken, disgusted and disappointed. I thought her and I were always close when it came to this. She outright lied to me last night when I came out and asked her. I called her on it and then she told me the truth. Right now her concern is supposed to be school and going to college for forensics. I bust my butt making sure her grades are good. She is into sports. She talks to her friends though a $300 phone bill has stopped that. She is grounded of course, but for myself ... I just don't know what to do. My daughter is no longer the innocent angel I thought she was.
Moms3bratz
Hi Brandee
I originally posted as guest and I am still waiting for the post to show up but decided to join the group instead, so this might have more information that the guest post I did.
I know exactly how you feel. I just found out last night that my now 15 yr old daughter had sex 3 months ago at age 14. Before I go any further, I am one of the most overprotective moms there is because this world is not the same as it was when I was her age. My daughter doesn't go anywhere because of her work load in school as she knows that that is the first and foremost importance because she wants to be a forensic scientist. I have always backed her up with everything she has done until now. This event happened at a sleepover at her best friend's house with her best friend's brother that she has "loved" for 2 years. I found out that the only reason she did it was so that he would "love" her back and he doesn't. He is with someone else. Yes, I have always taught my daughter about being safe (which they weren't), diseases, pregnancy, etc. But she chose to make the most life threating mistake in her life. I found out because the boy's mother was cleaning her living room and found a letter from my daughter to her son discussing it and possible pregnancy. We are doing a pregnancy test this morning, even though she has had periods, and I am waiting for the OB/GYN doctor to call back this morning to get an appointment for her to be tested for everything. My daughter has also outright lied to me for months continuously saying that she is a virgin and wants to wait until she is married. Like I said, we have had many open discussions about this. Right now I am disgusted, disappointed, heartbroken and sickened about this that I can't even look at her or say more than 3 words. I can't even trust her anymore. Needless to say, no more sleepovers. She is a freshman and on the honor roll and participates in school sports. I never thought this would be happening at 14. I let my guard down to allow her to sleep at a friend's house and this is what I get in return. She is grounded for a various amount of things, not to mention a $300 cell phone bill. She has been lying and deceiving us for months now. So of course there is more to my issues than normal.
I have read some posts on here and glad I found this. But I do have to say something to the 14 yr olds that are posting .. you have no clue what you all are talking about. You all are babies yourselves, and instead of being here, you need to talk to your parents. Don't make the same stupid mistake my daughter did. Wait until you are an adult to make an adult decision about having sex.
Thanks everyone and good luck to all.
I originally posted as guest and I am still waiting for the post to show up but decided to join the group instead, so this might have more information that the guest post I did.
I know exactly how you feel. I just found out last night that my now 15 yr old daughter had sex 3 months ago at age 14. Before I go any further, I am one of the most overprotective moms there is because this world is not the same as it was when I was her age. My daughter doesn't go anywhere because of her work load in school as she knows that that is the first and foremost importance because she wants to be a forensic scientist. I have always backed her up with everything she has done until now. This event happened at a sleepover at her best friend's house with her best friend's brother that she has "loved" for 2 years. I found out that the only reason she did it was so that he would "love" her back and he doesn't. He is with someone else. Yes, I have always taught my daughter about being safe (which they weren't), diseases, pregnancy, etc. But she chose to make the most life threating mistake in her life. I found out because the boy's mother was cleaning her living room and found a letter from my daughter to her son discussing it and possible pregnancy. We are doing a pregnancy test this morning, even though she has had periods, and I am waiting for the OB/GYN doctor to call back this morning to get an appointment for her to be tested for everything. My daughter has also outright lied to me for months continuously saying that she is a virgin and wants to wait until she is married. Like I said, we have had many open discussions about this. Right now I am disgusted, disappointed, heartbroken and sickened about this that I can't even look at her or say more than 3 words. I can't even trust her anymore. Needless to say, no more sleepovers. She is a freshman and on the honor roll and participates in school sports. I never thought this would be happening at 14. I let my guard down to allow her to sleep at a friend's house and this is what I get in return. She is grounded for a various amount of things, not to mention a $300 cell phone bill. She has been lying and deceiving us for months now. So of course there is more to my issues than normal.
I have read some posts on here and glad I found this. But I do have to say something to the 14 yr olds that are posting .. you have no clue what you all are talking about. You all are babies yourselves, and instead of being here, you need to talk to your parents. Don't make the same stupid mistake my daughter did. Wait until you are an adult to make an adult decision about having sex.
Thanks everyone and good luck to all.
hey im 14 and i have had sex with my bf i havnt told my mum cause im scared she wid be angry with me
I wish I knew what to say but am still going through the same thing with my 14yo. I found out on Christmas Eve. We're the same as you and your daughter... The dynamic duo, always together, she can't wait for her friends to meet me, she loves for them all to hang here at our house.... I am still struggling. And I still don't know what to do or how to handle it. It's a day-by-day thing. I wish you luck.
I suggest you read the novel The Lost Daughter by Daralyse Lyons. It deals with teen pregnancy, loss, cutting, family etc. It's a real and raw look at what it is to be a teen or to raise a teen...
Hi ladies & gentlemen-dads,
Do you want my advice? For the ladies: just accept your daughter has a life of her own and IS NOT your best friend (which you sometimes - often - may be tempted to use as a control method). This said, they need:
a) support and to be reassured that, at such age, they only should have sex again if they feel more or less certain about it, in love and willing to do it/prepared to
b) that you will be there for her, that means: get her pills, vibrators, whatever satisfies and protects her, and helps her having her sexual needs met safely until 'the right moment' comes again
c) inform her of all the risks (emotional/physical abuse, pregnancy, STD's) and help her imagine possibly sceneries - that is: tell her the truth about sex, not just 'love fantasies' and 'marriage romantisms'...
d) if she wants to maintain the relationship, make sure it is as safe and unharmful as possible: condoms, pills, adults (like the guy's parents) involved too, etc... and make sure the guy won't hurt her - and that she won't hurt him!!! (yes: boys have feelings too, moms!!!)
For the gentlemen: she's not 'your angel' (your property) because little angels don't exist, only children, and 13-14 year-old is not a child, so just adjust to reality. Even children have sexuality, why wouldn't 14 year-olds? The problem is: deal with it and direct it in the right ways.
For all parents: make sure what their beliefs are about losing virginity: are they competing in the group and dealing with pressure/status issues? quite likely...
Stay safe and don't make it a drama please.
Do you want my advice? For the ladies: just accept your daughter has a life of her own and IS NOT your best friend (which you sometimes - often - may be tempted to use as a control method). This said, they need:
a) support and to be reassured that, at such age, they only should have sex again if they feel more or less certain about it, in love and willing to do it/prepared to
b) that you will be there for her, that means: get her pills, vibrators, whatever satisfies and protects her, and helps her having her sexual needs met safely until 'the right moment' comes again
c) inform her of all the risks (emotional/physical abuse, pregnancy, STD's) and help her imagine possibly sceneries - that is: tell her the truth about sex, not just 'love fantasies' and 'marriage romantisms'...
d) if she wants to maintain the relationship, make sure it is as safe and unharmful as possible: condoms, pills, adults (like the guy's parents) involved too, etc... and make sure the guy won't hurt her - and that she won't hurt him!!! (yes: boys have feelings too, moms!!!)
For the gentlemen: she's not 'your angel' (your property) because little angels don't exist, only children, and 13-14 year-old is not a child, so just adjust to reality. Even children have sexuality, why wouldn't 14 year-olds? The problem is: deal with it and direct it in the right ways.
For all parents: make sure what their beliefs are about losing virginity: are they competing in the group and dealing with pressure/status issues? quite likely...
Stay safe and don't make it a drama please.