My 14 year old daughter having sex

i must give the only advice i have.
dont shun her, please for the love of god do nott.
i was 14 when i lost my virginity as well, i am now 16.
my dad was so upset with me, he disowned me, and i havent really talked to him since.
i wasnt pregnant, and i thought i got out unscathed.
i am still with the same guy now, and i just found out a year ago that i have both type 1 & 2 herpes.
which just made my dad hate me even more.
please. be her rock.
i had never felt so alone in my life, they took the guy away from me, and i wasnt allowed to go to school for a week bc my dad knew id see him there.
i was close to just killing myself.
this is a very serious thing, and when your so young, you dont take it seriously.

what is this world coming to, my daughter came down to me Saturday night feeling really sorry for herself saying she had something she needed to tell me but that i was going to go ballistic and i will hate her, naturally as her father i was more concerned that she would think i could ever hate her. She then went on to tell me she has had sex with her boyfriend, this was a massive blow to me as she is only 15, she then goes on to tell me that she is a week passed her period, and that she has done a pregnancy test, and it is positive. So we gets the ball rolling Monday because she doesn't want to keep it as they split up over a month ago and that her school work is more important to her, they were things about her story that didn't bode well with me and after doing a bit of detective work i found out the horrible truth, that she has been having sex since she was 14, and every time she would say she was going to her friends and asking if she could stop at her friends in reality she would go to this bastard of her boyfriend, even after she finished with him. This was more upsetting than the pregnancy as we her parents felt betrayed, deceived and lied to. I know it is wrong but for a split second i could have easily have disowned her, it would be so easy to do, first reactions, but she is still my little girl I am so hurting inside, my emotions are so mixed up i feel pity for her and pure anger for him. My daughter doesn't want me to contact his parents, she just wants it over with so she can move on with her life, and the bastard has no burden what so ever nor does his parents. Also i found out it was not the usual boy coerces the girl into sex, but the other way round, i don't understand why at such a young age she would want to have sex, its not as if she has been brought up around sex, there has been no pornographic in our house for her to see, the only thing mentioned about it was that her brother who waited until he was 19 to lose his virginity, we kind of laughed about it. Well the outcome is that she severed all ties with the bastard, on facebook, xbox, phone anywhere and she did it in front of me, she is grounded until we say otherwise, she is not having a boyfriend until she is 16, we are picking her up from school every day, and when and only when we lift the grounded part and she goes to her friends or stops over at her friends, we will be phoning her friends parents to make sure she is there, my daughter has made us lose all trust in her, she now has the long process of renewing our trust, thank you for reading this i just needed something to put it down and get it of my chest.

Im 15 and so is my boyfriend, we've been together for almost a yr and when my mom found out we were having sex (the first time was on our 4 month anniversary) she sat both of us down, told us that she did not like that we were having sex but accepted it, she gave us a box of condoms and took me to the doctor to get a birth control shot that lasts a yr, she buys us condoms whenever we need them and my relationship with my mom is great, I can talk to her about anything, if me and my boyfriend see a condom we wanna try, like the trojan ectasy condoms (which are amazing btw) we can tell her and she'll buy them.
So just be open with your daughter, I know it may be hard to accept, but if you keep her from seeing the boy ya'lls relationship will only go down hill.

We could never shun her or disown her its not in my nature to do this I will forgive her in time, I am her rock and always will be I am so sorry to hear your father has disowned you, but you must realise how hurt he must have been to find out his little angel has let him down the shock i had over her lies far out weighted the having sex and the pregnancy try and make the first move with your dad cos believe me as a father he will be missing you just as much as you him, he just maybe a bit stubborn.

well i have read your thing and i have to say honestly im a 16yr old girl and i started having sex when i was 14 and i think that that reall was on teens minds these days they rey hard not to thik about it but, when the date that one person they know exactly what to say to that person that going to make them think oh yea we goning to be together and i love you you the only girl for me, yea at this moment i mean its just like a guy know adn days they say all these lies and we women believe it and they love us and all they when its a quick way to give your self up because once u give it up you hvae to realize you can never get that back and everytime you have sex wix somebody you give a piece of your self away that you can never get back... So becareful and think about it before you do it. And parents you cant be hard on your child i mean its not that easy and as a child i no that its very hard telling you parent but you have to be open and ready as long as they protected they self just care that they was using they mind.

Just a quick update For the past two days I have been with my daughter to the clinic to have her abortion, today was the final visit, I have been at her side whilst she has had to wait for it to come out of her, i have never seen her in so much pain and so helpless to do anything for her, this is a dads worst nightmare to see his daughter go through so much pain but finally it is over and she is asleep now. Girls please read this and take note, as a man i know what boys want and what they will say to get it, ITS ALL LIES, they say anything to get what they want and its you girls that has to go through all this pain, trust me its not worth it, wait a while longer if the boy really loves you he will wait and if he doesn't then he is not worth it, enjoy life, don't screw it up. This is my last post as we as a family will get on with our lives, please take heed goodnight god bless

:-D let me say something im 14 years old and well be 15 next month december 16. im lost i have court tomrrow to move back home with my foster dad and my brother and sister. i have been in foster care for almost three years IT SUCKS!!!. my friend is 18 and they wouldnt let me talk to him at all they told me this 2 months of actually knowing him. and being in foster care they pull you away from people you love and my problem is now they are pulling this guy out of my life and i actually do love him alot. i know him now for 6 months. and they want me tomrrow to amit to having sex (if we did) and if it happen 2 months ago can he still go to jail if we did 2 months ago if we wear dateing????? :$ i dont know what to do i dont know how to just let him go i have been so depressed now being away from my whole family and now the guy i love the most ahhhhhh i dont know wht i would do if i said yes we wear and he went to jail i wouldnt know what to do with my life. not that i do now lol :-)

hi samatha, i feel for you in this situtation as you are really being torn. apparently under 16 you are still a minor and over 16 is an adult, so this is where the problem arises. when i am feeling hopeless in handling my 14 year old daughter I ring the parenthelpline (1300130052) so perhaps you could try phoning the kids helpline on 1800 55 1800? they could advise you in this situation and talk it through with you. The counsellors are very helpful. please do it x

Ok so I know you have got alot of comments but please read this one trust me if your daughter us 14 then don't make her stop seeing this guy it will just make her regale I myself am 14 so I can see where she is coming from o have had guy ask me but I have always said no because I am a Christian but your daughter needs you and her bf support
Please take thus to heart

no your stupid

the one who said the sh*t about picking her girl up from skkool everyday afterwoods and calling her friends parents to make sure shes there and all the other sh*t.
you should be f*****g ashamed of yourself
maybe u should stop trying to run ur f*****g daughters life and let her live it her way, yeh maybe shes only 14 but shes chosen the path she has. shes got one f*****g life and shes trying to live it the way she wants. if your looking to get your little girl back and have a good relationship with her, your f*****g with yourself. your never gunna get that girl back, shes long gone. the only thing left that u can do is to accept her for the way she is and to gradually let her become open with you. if shes having sex buy her condoms. better safe then sorry? put her on the pill. i know its not what u want to hear but if u keep treating her the way u are its gunna f**k with you. my friend who was 14 years, the same thing happened to her. she ran away, didnt go to schholl, lived with her friends for months on end. her life is now screwed up, shes lost all contact with her family, but she doesnt give a sh*t.. shes doing what she wants and that makes her happy, so stop being such tighasses and start treating your daughter f*****g nicely theres only one of ur daughter and u dont want to see her dramatically change or even disappear?.
im 18 now n i went thu all this sh*t. it ridicullous, parents are f*****g ridiculous. i never speak to my parents anymore because they tried to control my life. if i could change one thing it would be to have an open and healthy relationship with my parents, if they'd have given me the freedom id asked for and i didnt have to rebel to get it, id still be in contact with them, id still love them. but i dont. because of the way they treated me. if you want this to happen with you and your girl then keep f*****g everything up for her. AND NEVER f*****g CALL THE GUYY UR GIRL HAD SEX WITH A BASTARD. all that shows is that u dont know him at all and ur the f*****g bastard. u gotta get to know someone befor u can judge them, and if ur daughter was the one who wanted to have sex in the first place, doesnt that make ur girl the bastard? yehh so shut the f**k up.

Firstly learn to spell, secondly i'm not surprised you don't have a relationship with your parents, thirdly and the most important bit is we do have our daughter back, we as parents care so much for our daughter, yours obviously don't, don't blame anybody else for your own misgivings your parents have let you run a muck, its sad you might have been there angel at one point, but like i said we have our daughter back she does include us in her everyday life, she has started to built her trust with us, she wants our input into her life even down to what contraception would be best for her. Its sad that you don't have supported parents like us, but then reading the immature foul mouthed text that you put on her its not surprising if you was my daughter i would have abandoned you to.

my daughters are only 1 and 3 so i havent been in your spot. ive read the posts and i some what agree with them. unlike the one i seen about giving your daughter condoms thats just crazy!! never know that could lead to her getting preg just explain to her that shes way way to young to be having sex. explain that she needs to wait and why. but since she is a teenager she may not come to you and talk about whatever when ever. just letting her know that since you are her mother you will always be there for her to talk to or what have you.

Ok so the mom that started this post I hope your reading this. I am 18 and my son will be 2 in Febuary ok. Whomever this person is in this quote is basically telling you that you should let your daughter be a s***. Yea I got pregnant at a young age but Im married and been married for almost 2 years. Dont let your daughter be a s*** ok trust me if your hard on her then she will tahnk you in the long run I know. This person obviously likes or liked being a s***. And yes any older guy that wants to try and have a RELATIONSHIP is a lieing bastard they are after one thing and one thing only. I hate that word bastard but thats what he is. Nothing but a PERV. sP YOU THAT WROTE THIS i HAVE QUOTED on stop being a s*** and grow up and realize your parents did the right thing by trying to protect you. Maybe bc you are there baby. Ever think of that one ughhhh if your 18 then why act so immature huh? Think about that one :D

couldn't have said it better my self Teenmom 17 thank you