My 14 year old daughter having sex

YOu are welcome, when I responded to the room next door.. Ask your daughter after counseling if it happens, what she would like to do? Maybe she would make the decision not to see this boy again, maybe give her power back in some way. I not sure once again of my daughters experience entirely, but I heard her quote no glove no love once kidding around to her 17 year old brother.. So you see, what we say some time follows them.. Be the positive and caring mother you are, and bless you.. This too shall pass, and so much of life will go by, and this will be but a a minor hicup, as time goes by.. Go with her and have both your nails done, keep connected. I know how you feel, and I am too, flowing in this sea of uncertainty and trying to remain optimistic, and being by her side because I love my daughter so dearly, as I am sure you do as well. PS husbands see things differently, I never add too much detail telling my hubby all, they know how men think and most are gross piggys.

Thanks again. It has been a heck of a rough week! I only now got back to this board and was so scattered, it never dawned on me to check the next page to see if there were further posts. I liked what you said about staying connected, it's important she have my support but I just can't help being so darn angry at her inside and trying not to let it show. We did the trip to the doctor's....we did the morning after pill....even though it was several mornings after and may not be effective. Now we sit and wait......... I haven't been able to tell my husband; he is so old fashioned he would literally go to the boy's house and cause a huge scene. I am walking around with this HUGE burden and no one to talk to. What I don't get is that we had talked and talked and talked about this beforehand and she was so adamant she would not have sex. And she understood the need for protection! She is saying she said NO and he went ahead anyway, which brings up all sorts of questions of how far they had gone to make it easy for him to "do the deed" . And why oh why no protection. That is something we talked about so much. She has decided not to see him again, which is wise, but last night she tells me she wants to do an overnighter with a girlfriend and suddenly I discover I do not trust her. I tried to tell her no, that she should stay home till we at least determine she is not pregnant and she turned it around to this thing about how will she ever get over the trauma if I keep her locked at home. Which makes some kind of sense but I am debating how much freedom I should allow her now. Obviously she is not as prepared for life's crisis and turmoils as she thought she was. And also...if it was date rape, shouldn't he be held somehow responsible? Why does he just get to walk away from this thing while our family is in chaos? Thanks again for your words of wisdom....you are like a calm voice in the storm.

Look tp be honest you cant stop her from having sex. She WILL find a way. All teens will once they've set there mind on soemthing. You ban her from seeing her boyfriend and stop her being alone with him etc she will hate you. Im sorry but that is the truth. She might not want to but she will always despise you if you stop her and take away her freedom. Best thing to do is talk to her. Get her views on teen sex and give her yours. Find out where you all stand. Give her your support. She wants you to be there for her but not restricting her. Find out if she intends to have sex again. If she is talk to her about having a inplant/injection/starting the pill and make sure you buy her condoms. You may not approve of it but whats better you knowing whats happening and dissaproving or her having to go behind your back and possibly have unprotected sex?

i am a 31 y/o male. my girlfriend has an 11 y/o daughter and a 9 y/o sister. one thing that absolutely astonishes me is how these girls have "crushes" on boys at that age! my girlfriend also has a 10 y/o son who is somewhat into girls!! i can't remember how old i was when i started having "crushes". I think i was at least 13! even though puberty hit me at 10, and i started getting those certain "feelings" guys have when i was about 10 years old, i ddin't have crushes. i didn't have crushes until i was 12 or 13!! and these days kids get these crushes when they're not even a decade old? and than i see the entertainment out now and it don't surprise me! i like a lot of newer movies and music, but we definitely need to control what we let our kids see or listen to because it does affect them and our future.

if you feel your child at such a young age is having sex with a older boy you should report it asap take responability and stand up for whats right ,if people stood up more there would be less of it .If the child hates you so what one day shell thank you for protecting her!!get real people its wrong!!

You are the parent UUU are in charge not her. But... Don't chew her head off if u don't like her having sex tell her. Tell her to at least have protection if she won't stop... Just remember u are the parent she is NOT in charge of u or her life till 18.

Ok so... I'm 14 and I lost my virginity today. I don't want to sound like "player" or a "douche", but me and my girlfriend agreed on it. We were both nervous and it was basically 1 hour of kissing and 5 minutes of penetration. I have been with her for over 2 months. And we are deeply in love. I did my best not to hurt her in any way, I respected her options and I would respect her call to stop if she wanted to. On the other hand what happened was that she was the one telling me what to do, etc. That was kind of awkward, but still pretty nice to share such a moment with someone I love.

I'm not really considering spending my whole life with her, but she is a great person, and since we both agreed on it, we both went for it. I couldn't care less if I was a virgin or not, I frankly do not care.
I have talked to my dad before, and he said he lost it the day he turned 15, with his girlfriend that was 16 at that time. Now, I'm turning 15 in less than a month, and in my opinion, I did the right thing...

I freaquently asked her, if she wanted me to stop, or don't do such and such, but she didn't want me to. As I said before, I couldn't care less if I lost it now, or in 5 years. What matters is, it was the choice we agreed on. In my opinion, when you are 13 and under, and still in the starting or finishing phases of puberty you should not have any sexual commitments to anyone.

Me and my girlfriend at this time each go to one of the best schools in the country, we see eachother as often as we can, and the first time was right in my opinion. You might say it's so early, and yes. Yes it might have been early. But think about it. It can increase your self-confidence, boost your mind in any given way.

Nor did I do this to show off to anyone, and I've only told it to my best friend, which I've known since my childhood, and I know he won't let the secret out. There is little, or nothing more to say about this matter. All I want to say to all the parents out there.

You may be the first, or last to know. You might never know, (I've not said this to my parents. Yet! But I intend to shortly).
All I want you to know is.

Don't be mad, we are so full of thoughts, hormones, and all the other stuff I can't come up with right now. Let them be who they are. If it was with their consent, then of course you should back them up. Be there for them. Tell them " Oh you foolish little child", laugh about it. It's the natural circle of life. Back in the days kids younger than me would have sex every day. Why really ban it, it would only reduce the amount of pleasure teens get out of their lives.

As in my case, it was one of the best people I could loose my virginity with. Little can really be said about this any more as I rest my case.

All you need to know, and confirm from your children is, if they wore protection or not. I did, I came prepared. I've always been prepared. I don't want kids, don't want to have disasters happen, neither do I want STDs. All I want is some love.

So as a short sum up. Take care of your kids as long as you have them. Don't cage them, and deny them access. They are mature enough to understand what is needed in each of the cases. Well... Atleast most of them, like me.

I've had chats with my mom and dad, about what I should do and not do when the day comes. And hey. I don't intend on having sex with someone else in the near future. It should be love. Not just with someone you barely know, or just aquianted with.

Anyways. Take care of your children, do NOT cage, open doors, with certain things to keep in mind. Not rules, just "reminder notes, to keep them on the safe side".

Cheers :-)

its not unusual most kids are having sex under the age of 15 now a days

yes unfortunately this seems to be true. on the positive, as parents we can only encourage our teens to give their virginity away to someone they love, and not the awful stuff I hear about kids (who dislike each other) doing it for the sake of losing it, in someones bathroom. YUK

look .Your daughter wanted to and it was her decision so stop stressing your being a bad mom and pretty much making her hate you. there arent any damages it can do to her if she used a condom and she wanted to. so stop worrying about how to stop and instead make sure shes being safe about it.

But the thing is you say it wont damage her but in a few year trust me she will probably hate herself. And it will follow her forever. Because if she just gives it away she will end up getting her heart broken. Which can lead to depression or suicide. Or when she gets older and finds a guy she wants to marry and settle down with they probably will not want to be with her if they find out how many guys shes had sex with already and how long shes been doing it. This is what you need to talk to your sons/daughters about. Because this falls in the category for both genders when they're older. Dont liten to ome of these peole on here they're probably young teens themselves who are randomly having sex themelves. I know Im a teen but Im 18 Im married and have a 2 year old son. So thats why I speak out beause I've been through it and I still am everyday. Its hard moms and you know that as well. Thats why we want to protect our kids as long as we can. My sister is 17 and she has had sex with more than 20 guys in less than a year. I KNOW HOW IT FEELS. Because I have been like her mother and we were close but not now. Because she thinks shes an adult and what shes doing is ok when its not.

bbfeet9 wrote:

Hi Brandee101, i feel your pain. My daughter lost her virginity to the first guy who told her he loved her. She didn't even have to tell me, i just knew when she walked in the door. She was 15 at the time. She got straight into the shower then went to bed. I went to her room and asked her what was going on, she told me. I thought i was going to have a heart attack. I kept my cool and told her we would talk about it when i was calm.
The next morning she couldn't look me in the eye. I cornered her after school the next day and we talked, calmly. She was okay with giving information because i told her i was not mad at her and would not punish her at all.
I tried to shift the point more towards protection as i knew this kid was a "player"...he didn't wear a condom??? I suggested a trip to the doctor which she eagerly accepted. I decided to hold off with anymore conversation until we saw her doc, which was the next day. He examined her and took several tubes of blood, which the results were all negative.
We drove home in silence, then she burst out crying telling me how sorry she was to have hurt me. I consoled her and told her i was concerned for her health and that i was aware that this day would eventually come. I thought i was ready, but the thought of my girl having sex just sort of floored me, momentarily.
We talked about it in detail and i tried not to let her see me cringe. My insides were screaming but my outward appearance remained lucid.
With my gentle prodding, she decided to get on some birth control.
I know how you feel mom, but the last thing you want to do is to try to keep these kids seperated. They will find a way to be together, teengage hormones are bigger than both of us, and now that they have tried sex, they are going to want to do it again. Your role as a mother is to see to it that she get some protection. You can ground her all day long but it may backfire. You can try to keep them from seeing each other so much, after all, you are the mom and she is a minor child, your rules, your house.
Make sure they are not alone in the house and you may want to inform his parents so they don't leave the house free for him and your daughter.
She is now 20 and is in a committed relationship for the past three years. The "guy" she lost her virginity to now has 3 kids and all by different moms. She regretts it, but she thought she was in love.
You don't have to approve, you obviously don't and rightfully so. Just try to be more watchful and don't give them the opportunity to be alone.
Maybe it won't last, who knows.

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You are in a very tough situation here but because your daughter is 14 you should explain to her how dangerous sex can be. I know how you feel. My 13 year old daughter just had sex with her secret boy friend that no body knew about. At first it was a pain and a felt so upset but I finally got through it. So I know you will get through it too.

all you can do is just give her condoms and teach her about safe sex and abstanance and if you are willing, birth control

Hi im 14 and people at my school are having sex but no one in my froup of friends are. But at school people talk about suff like that ans prevs. In class people would laugh about what the teacher said. But I would talk to her and see why she did it and did she want to do to it, because she could have been raped