Whats happening me boy ? You on a bender :) ? Got text from me sister that there was my t shirt and treat in letterbox, open it up an there was the t shirt, snickers bar and fuel voucher (text her earlier and mentioned price of gas) written on voucher - enjoy thanks for being awesome. She knows how to make ya feel good about herself :)
Open bag up it all there and some goods wrapped up in tin foil, this was saturday night, didn't touch the stash that night. Went for 200 km motorbike ride through twisty stuff and when got home thought b****r it and had a cone, sucked back into the weed vortex along with 5 beers.
Up this morning chucking ball for dog off deck and thought have just one beer to come back up to zero :) had that, sat on throne and spotted bit of budlie on magazine shelf from last night, bit that wouldn't fit in cone, if ya going to do it go for broke - use it all up and be cleaner quick, does not prolong the overall agony of it all lolooll. Didn't tell my sister had given it up - she has a tendency to tell all what you are doing. Tomorrow another day.
Open bag up it all there and some goods wrapped up in tin foil, this was saturday night, didn't touch the stash that night. Went for 200 km motorbike ride through twisty stuff and when got home thought b****r it and had a cone, sucked back into the weed vortex along with 5 beers.
Up this morning chucking ball for dog off deck and thought have just one beer to come back up to zero :) had that, sat on throne and spotted bit of budlie on magazine shelf from last night, bit that wouldn't fit in cone, if ya going to do it go for broke - use it all up and be cleaner quick, does not prolong the overall agony of it all lolooll. Didn't tell my sister had given it up - she has a tendency to tell all what you are doing. Tomorrow another day.
hey buddy, im good. and no lol i didnt give in tothe temptaion. i just was a little busy with work, they had me working these past couple of days, 12 hour shifts so ive just been too tired to even type :).
awhh man, what happeneddd, you were doing so good. you were what like a month and a half clean?? awwh well, i guess you need to reward yourself everynow and again, im not mad at ya. i just hope you dont cyclone back into the habit :/.
i am 19 days clean as of today, and im feeling alot better than the last time i replied. yesterday was a good day, but the day before i was feeling very depressed, went to a party and got a little too drunk and all was well untill i got home, and got really depressed looking back on how drunk and probably how stupid i looked.
but im still not going to give in to the weed, even tho ive been thinking about it soo much. the tempations come and go, come and go. mainly at night, before bed, or when im feeling depressed.
as for the anxiety, well, its still their but i can feel it getting better. i can control it now almost 100 percent of the time it strikes. but its still their. im hoping it will completely go away by the end of the month mark.
stay strong brotha, stay strong. i hope your still following the no starch diet haha im going to switch over very soon :)
awhh man, what happeneddd, you were doing so good. you were what like a month and a half clean?? awwh well, i guess you need to reward yourself everynow and again, im not mad at ya. i just hope you dont cyclone back into the habit :/.
i am 19 days clean as of today, and im feeling alot better than the last time i replied. yesterday was a good day, but the day before i was feeling very depressed, went to a party and got a little too drunk and all was well untill i got home, and got really depressed looking back on how drunk and probably how stupid i looked.
but im still not going to give in to the weed, even tho ive been thinking about it soo much. the tempations come and go, come and go. mainly at night, before bed, or when im feeling depressed.
as for the anxiety, well, its still their but i can feel it getting better. i can control it now almost 100 percent of the time it strikes. but its still their. im hoping it will completely go away by the end of the month mark.
stay strong brotha, stay strong. i hope your still following the no starch diet haha im going to switch over very soon :)
oh and i forgot, yea i guess your sister and my sister are alike lol
Yeh the sisters sound like they from the same pod :) May I ask what the anxiety about ? Can come from feeling as though you have to be perfect, just tell ya self you will handle it (no one perfect) if i have to do something involving other people and perform and get anxiety that someone might take the piss - I just tell myself these days "They better bring their A game" will just bullie the bully back if it comes down to it.
You now 19 days ahead of me loololl , just reinforced to me that weed not that great.
You probably looked no more stupid that all the other pissed buggers at the party :)
WoW you doing well ! :)
You now 19 days ahead of me loololl , just reinforced to me that weed not that great.
You probably looked no more stupid that all the other pissed buggers at the party :)
WoW you doing well ! :)
Re no starch , Just picked some tomatoes from the garden :) me mum with her high blood pressure and cholesterol on it too. Even if ya just break into it M8 the no starch diet, enough of a shock to body giving up the herb little lone coffee etc all in the same hit. Good eating principle to do - no starch and alkaline :)
to be honest with you the anxiety came out of no where. i remeber me starting to feel the aniety about 2 - 3 years ago, but at the time i didnt know what it was cause i never experienced it before. i think the weed fog mainly blocked off any concern for it, so thats why i never really looked into it.
thinking about it now it might be that, i guess i feel like i have to live up my peoples expectaions of how i used to be. its like i know, or think im different and try to act normal again but in return i guess i act completely different, and thats when my anxiety really kicks in. im so concerned about how i woulda said a joke or how i would of acted or handled a situation before i started smoking weed... i think im thinking into it a little bit too much :/ im no expert in life but maybe its time for me to stop thinking that way..although its like i have amnesia and cant rememeber who i am, and all im trying to do is remember and get my personality back, like i mentioned before..but all in a working progress :)
but i think my anxiety and depression go hand to hand, im so depressed cause i cant figure out who i am? and because my life isnt going as well as i planned it, all my friends are in college and doing good, and im working a dead end job, with 2 possesion charges, a d.u.i , and a suspended license. and on top of that alot of hospital bills, and i owe some bad people money lol idk sorry i know thats too much info, but i dug a deep hole and cant seem to get out :/
im going to start my own garden soon, all organic foods. thats good for you tho, although i hate tomatoes lol something about the texture in my mouth lol im wierd like that. i hate seafood too cause of the same reason, too gummie, or too smelly haha. but any ways i hope this new diet helps your mothers blood pressure, i know what thats like, my real dad had that too. it truely sucks, have to watch everything you eat and too, and stay away from stress is the main concern.
and the haze my sister brought over the other day was some light fluffy bud, not really sure what kind of haze it was tho, it was like popcorn weed though..omg i wish i could smoke just thinking about it lol my mouth is watering like a fat kid haha..no offense to anyone hehe :)
thinking about it now it might be that, i guess i feel like i have to live up my peoples expectaions of how i used to be. its like i know, or think im different and try to act normal again but in return i guess i act completely different, and thats when my anxiety really kicks in. im so concerned about how i woulda said a joke or how i would of acted or handled a situation before i started smoking weed... i think im thinking into it a little bit too much :/ im no expert in life but maybe its time for me to stop thinking that way..although its like i have amnesia and cant rememeber who i am, and all im trying to do is remember and get my personality back, like i mentioned before..but all in a working progress :)
but i think my anxiety and depression go hand to hand, im so depressed cause i cant figure out who i am? and because my life isnt going as well as i planned it, all my friends are in college and doing good, and im working a dead end job, with 2 possesion charges, a d.u.i , and a suspended license. and on top of that alot of hospital bills, and i owe some bad people money lol idk sorry i know thats too much info, but i dug a deep hole and cant seem to get out :/
im going to start my own garden soon, all organic foods. thats good for you tho, although i hate tomatoes lol something about the texture in my mouth lol im wierd like that. i hate seafood too cause of the same reason, too gummie, or too smelly haha. but any ways i hope this new diet helps your mothers blood pressure, i know what thats like, my real dad had that too. it truely sucks, have to watch everything you eat and too, and stay away from stress is the main concern.
and the haze my sister brought over the other day was some light fluffy bud, not really sure what kind of haze it was tho, it was like popcorn weed though..omg i wish i could smoke just thinking about it lol my mouth is watering like a fat kid haha..no offense to anyone hehe :)
everything you eat and do** typdo.. and nahh, your good dude. if i were you , i would just continue where you left off from. you only slipped up one time, dont punish yourself. you know, as long as you dont do it again nobody will judge you and you can just disregard that one slip up..so, in my books, your still 1 1/2 months clean :)). idk, i know it helps some people stay clean that way, instead of always starting over again you know?
I can't send you a pm, hey cheers mate bout not starting back the count - great idea.
Yeah anxiety usually all just in ya head, below is an exert from New Zealand Message Board, good info on there regarding anxiety in various topics in the health and philosophy topics - well worth a read.
I'm still dreaming so still in the good zone of when ya give up, pretty knackered - just gave father inlaw hand to tie his yacht up - broke 2 ropes in last nights storm. Full steam ahead captain on the vege garden :) - L8TR
We only try to please those we infatuate with, we don't try to please those we resent.
We only infatuate with another because we think they have something we don't, when in actuality, we do have it, we just haven't recognized where we have it and in what in form we have it.
And when we infatuate with somebody, we exaggerate them, put them on a pedastool, and minimize ourselves compared to what it is we are infatuated with.
I wouldn't say we are ashamed inside, but i would say, we are minimizing ourselves relative to others, and not recognizing our self worth - so instead of saying ashamed, maybe more, having low self worth would be the correct term.
Yeah anxiety usually all just in ya head, below is an exert from New Zealand Message Board, good info on there regarding anxiety in various topics in the health and philosophy topics - well worth a read.
I'm still dreaming so still in the good zone of when ya give up, pretty knackered - just gave father inlaw hand to tie his yacht up - broke 2 ropes in last nights storm. Full steam ahead captain on the vege garden :) - L8TR
We only try to please those we infatuate with, we don't try to please those we resent.
We only infatuate with another because we think they have something we don't, when in actuality, we do have it, we just haven't recognized where we have it and in what in form we have it.
And when we infatuate with somebody, we exaggerate them, put them on a pedastool, and minimize ourselves compared to what it is we are infatuated with.
I wouldn't say we are ashamed inside, but i would say, we are minimizing ourselves relative to others, and not recognizing our self worth - so instead of saying ashamed, maybe more, having low self worth would be the correct term.
Might be something at this link too bud - bit bout the priest and john lennon etc
https://www.steadyhealth.com/Social_Anxiety_is_getting_to_me__ASD__t272061.html
https://www.steadyhealth.com/Social_Anxiety_is_getting_to_me__ASD__t272061.html
Hope ya doing well man :) All the best with it !
hey forward now, long time no talk! how are you doing and how is your journey going so far? hope its good :) hope you didnt fall back into the pattern because i know how tempting it is. and for you as well after that one slip up hehe lol.
well i guess ill keep you updated, i am 41 days clean, and it would of been 42 butt..i smoked last night with a couple of buddies of mine. they convinced me by saying that last night was their last night because they gotta quit for 3 months, so we made last night our 4/20 ..:/ i cant help but to hate myself for it..question, will that mess up my recovery at all? my anxiety got way better, can almost barely tell its there. although it is, and the depression as well.
well i guess ill keep you updated, i am 41 days clean, and it would of been 42 butt..i smoked last night with a couple of buddies of mine. they convinced me by saying that last night was their last night because they gotta quit for 3 months, so we made last night our 4/20 ..:/ i cant help but to hate myself for it..question, will that mess up my recovery at all? my anxiety got way better, can almost barely tell its there. although it is, and the depression as well.
LMFAO round same time as me, good to here from ya dude. Don't sweat it mate, friends usual trigger - good old mates ah - got to love them ! :)
I coming from different direction with it now mate, got given another 5 grams which lasted 2 weeks, could probably of stretched it out further even.
Its the amount people smoke the problem, like the Janis say (Who Buddha got most of his philosophy from) greed destroys everything. Think for me get anxiety and the like when body to acidic (ties in with your boys thinking) been drinking heaps of water - at least 2L a day.
Good to have decent break from it if you been doing it to much to get body back into alkaline/acid balance.
Is it really possible to not partake at some point unless ya change ya friends ? Don't want to change my mates - all got good hearts on them. Guess ya got to do what works for ya.
Don't hate yourself mate - ya too good for that !
Just keep going mate, like a wise man said to me just carry on from the last day ya didn't smoke, it wont effect ya man last nights lot, not like thc has been continually stored each day in your fat glands like when ya smoking each day.
Its like a puff or two a day - body can clear it, find its natural balance, its when ya blood comes to acidic from too much pot and acidic foods ya thinking - Dis-Ease comes into play.
Just try what works for you - My Boy :)
mrs had accupunutre yesterday to give up smoking, so going to not smoke herb from today. Get back on the horse fell off - how you doing with it ?
Great this time round with mrs not smoking ciggies, I'm feeling great , think might been lacking vitamin D3 like suggested for another poster at the same link gave before https://www.steadyhealth.com/Social_Anxiety_is_getting_to_me__ASD__t272061.html
Body one big chemical beaker eh - hinging on chemical reactions for good well being, we told constantly here to stay out of the sun, don't think been getting enough over the years. Use chest and stomach and back like one big solar panel when sun is out now, still mindful of not getting burnt though.
Dont worry about your past re the DIC etc what breaks you makes you stronger - you are destined for greatness Thatguy. Just keep looking at the glass as being half full - in reality things could be a lot worse - you could be a meth addict, be on death row.
Body one big chemical beaker eh - hinging on chemical reactions for good well being, we told constantly here to stay out of the sun, don't think been getting enough over the years. Use chest and stomach and back like one big solar panel when sun is out now, still mindful of not getting burnt though.
Dont worry about your past re the DIC etc what breaks you makes you stronger - you are destined for greatness Thatguy. Just keep looking at the glass as being half full - in reality things could be a lot worse - you could be a meth addict, be on death row.
Hey ya dude - looks like you have given up coming on here - All The Best With Your Future ! :)