I am 34 now, and last year I got pregnant to my bf, who I'd been with for 1 year. His mother was dying of cancer, and he was not able to reassure me that he wanted the baby, he was away from me, spending time with his mom, and I felt so alone, and couldn't get happy about it. I wish I had been stronger, and got through it on my own. I aborted my baby at 7 weeks, I took the abortion pill. I bled so much that I had to get a blood transfusion. I was in hospital the same time that his mom died. I could not speak to him because I was so devastated at what had happened. I already regretted what Id done, and was beside myself, alone and miserable. I needed him, and he needed me, and we had nothing for each other. Somehow we got through it, and are still together. I want that baby so badly now, and he is not ready to go there again. It is agonizing to see babies, and imagine what I could have now. He/she would be 5 months now. I have never regretted so much in my life. I feel weak, pathetic, and am ashamed.
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Dear Guest on 5/28/09:
I can relate to your feelings and emotions. My boyfriend and I had been together for a year when I got pregnant. I was on the pill and still got pregnant (which should have been a sign to me that it was meant to happen) but I panicked along with my boyfriend. I was 22 and he was 23 at the time and we were still in school and making just enough money to put us through school, pay for rent, and eat and were barely supporting ourselves and didn't think we could possible support a child. I struggled with my decision for awhile knowing that I couldn't be strong enough to give my child up for adoption so I scheduled an appointment, held my boyfriend's hand through it all, and went through with the abortion. Afterwards I seemed to be ok, just a little shooken up until about a month later when I started to cry for no reason every time I saw anything that was related to pregnancy or babies. I am still depressed by the decision I made and sometimes catch myself wondering what he/she would have looked like, if I could have hurried through school and been able to support my child. My boyfriend and I are still together but I obviously think that this is much much more difficult on me than it will ever be for him. I was a little over 9 weeks along and had started looking up information online and getting used to the idea of pregnancy when I let it go. I feel like I've already failed as a mother by harming my own child. He is sensitive and empathetic towards me but I still know he doesn't hurt or understand what I am feeling. If I could go back in time, I would've kept my child and FOUND a way to raise him/her no matter what. I hope one day it will get easier to carry this guilt and just maybe I'll be able to forgive.
I can relate to your feelings and emotions. My boyfriend and I had been together for a year when I got pregnant. I was on the pill and still got pregnant (which should have been a sign to me that it was meant to happen) but I panicked along with my boyfriend. I was 22 and he was 23 at the time and we were still in school and making just enough money to put us through school, pay for rent, and eat and were barely supporting ourselves and didn't think we could possible support a child. I struggled with my decision for awhile knowing that I couldn't be strong enough to give my child up for adoption so I scheduled an appointment, held my boyfriend's hand through it all, and went through with the abortion. Afterwards I seemed to be ok, just a little shooken up until about a month later when I started to cry for no reason every time I saw anything that was related to pregnancy or babies. I am still depressed by the decision I made and sometimes catch myself wondering what he/she would have looked like, if I could have hurried through school and been able to support my child. My boyfriend and I are still together but I obviously think that this is much much more difficult on me than it will ever be for him. I was a little over 9 weeks along and had started looking up information online and getting used to the idea of pregnancy when I let it go. I feel like I've already failed as a mother by harming my own child. He is sensitive and empathetic towards me but I still know he doesn't hurt or understand what I am feeling. If I could go back in time, I would've kept my child and FOUND a way to raise him/her no matter what. I hope one day it will get easier to carry this guilt and just maybe I'll be able to forgive.
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When I was 17 I had an abortion. The date was 2/3/82. While I did go on to have 2 wonderful baby boys who are 20 and 6, I still think about the mistake I made with the abortion. I know my baby is in heaven and that the Lord Jesus Christ paid the price for my sin, I still sometimes wonder what could have been.
Sheila
Sheila
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It would have been my due date right about now (July 2009). I had just turned 31 when I found out I was pregnant. I told my partner and he was very supportive....supportive of the idea of an abortion. It seemed like the only real choice....I was not (am not) married, I live in a conservative country overseas where abortion is illegal but also where a single woman being pregnant results in her immediate termination of employment legally. I did not want to lose my job, for how would I then support myself, let alone a child. My partner did not want this baby, and I love him dearly and I wanted to please him. I thought I was just not ready emtionally, financially, and that I myself had not done all the things I wanted to do in life before being 'tied down' with the responsibilities of motherhood. Within 10 days of the doctor confirming my pregnancy, I had booked a flight to a country where abortion is legal, and to my deepest and darkest regret, I had it performed. I can not say that anyone pressured me into this decision, in the end it was my decision to make, and I made the wrong one. The procedure itself was simple and painless enough, and I was lucky to have my partner there with me and supporting me. I have friends who have also terminated their pregnancies and I am pro choice. My life has gone on. I have not told many people about what I did, I try to deal with it myself, but it is always at the back of my mind, and every night I pray that the little soul I discarded so thoughtlessly, is resting peaceful in Heaven and I pray for his/her forgiveness.
To those who have been through the same, my prayers are also with you, for I suffer in silence in the same.
To those who may be contemplating termination of your pregnancy (I ususally call it my 'procedure" since saying the "A" (abortion) word is too hard) PLEASE take the time to think about it. Take weeks. If you find out early that you are pregnant, you will start to go through pregnancy symptons and may feel sick....thinking all the more reason to get this over with. Please be strong, the sickness will not last, but your ultimate choice will be permanent. Take time to think....weigh what you consider the pros and cons...it may appear that there are overwhelming consequences, but try to imagine the positives also. Like I said earlier, I am pro choice, but make sure it is an informed, thought out choice. You are not as alone as you feel. I am a highly educated woman and I did not follow my own advice, rushed into the clinic way too soon, did not think what I really wanted, and ultimately made a choice that I will live to regret and that haunts me in some ways from the shadows everyday.
To those who have been through the same, my prayers are also with you, for I suffer in silence in the same.
To those who may be contemplating termination of your pregnancy (I ususally call it my 'procedure" since saying the "A" (abortion) word is too hard) PLEASE take the time to think about it. Take weeks. If you find out early that you are pregnant, you will start to go through pregnancy symptons and may feel sick....thinking all the more reason to get this over with. Please be strong, the sickness will not last, but your ultimate choice will be permanent. Take time to think....weigh what you consider the pros and cons...it may appear that there are overwhelming consequences, but try to imagine the positives also. Like I said earlier, I am pro choice, but make sure it is an informed, thought out choice. You are not as alone as you feel. I am a highly educated woman and I did not follow my own advice, rushed into the clinic way too soon, did not think what I really wanted, and ultimately made a choice that I will live to regret and that haunts me in some ways from the shadows everyday.
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It would have been my due date right about now (July 2009). I had just turned 31 when I found out I was pregnant. I told my partner and he was very supportive....supportive of the idea of an abortion. It seemed like the only real choice....I was not (am not) married, I live in a conservative country overseas where abortion is illegal but also where a single woman being pregnant results in her immediate termination of employment legally. I did not want to lose my job, for how would I then support myself, let alone a child. My partner did not want this baby, and I love him dearly and I wanted to please him. I thought I was just not ready emtionally, financially, and that I myself had not done all the things I wanted to do in life before being 'tied down' with the responsibilities of motherhood. Within 10 days of the doctor confirming my pregnancy, I had booked a flight to a country where abortion is legal, and to my deepest and darkest regret, I had it performed. I can not say that anyone pressured me into this decision, in the end it was my decision to make, and I made the wrong one. The procedure itself was simple and painless enough, and I was lucky to have my partner there with me and supporting me. I have friends who have also terminated their pregnancies and I am pro choice. My life has gone on. I have not told many people about what I did, I try to deal with it myself, but it is always at the back of my mind, and every night I pray that the little soul I discarded so thoughtlessly, is resting peaceful in Heaven and I pray for his/her forgiveness.
To those who have been through the same, my prayers are also with you, for I suffer in silence in the same.
To those who may be contemplating termination of your pregnancy (I ususally call it my 'procedure" since saying the "A" (abortion) word is too hard) PLEASE take the time to think about it. Take weeks. If you find out early that you are pregnant, you will start to go through pregnancy symptons and may feel sick....thinking all the more reason to get this over with. Please be strong, the sickness will not last, but your ultimate choice will be permanent. Take time to think....weigh what you consider the pros and cons...it may appear that there are overwhelming consequences, but try to imagine the positives also. Like I said earlier, I am pro choice, but make sure it is an informed, thought out choice. You are not as alone as you feel. I am a highly educated woman and I did not follow my own advice, rushed into the clinic way too soon, did not think what I really wanted, and ultimately made a choice that I will live to regret and that haunts me in some ways from the shadows everyday. This is the first time Ive shared any of this.
To those who have been through the same, my prayers are also with you, for I suffer in silence in the same.
To those who may be contemplating termination of your pregnancy (I ususally call it my 'procedure" since saying the "A" (abortion) word is too hard) PLEASE take the time to think about it. Take weeks. If you find out early that you are pregnant, you will start to go through pregnancy symptons and may feel sick....thinking all the more reason to get this over with. Please be strong, the sickness will not last, but your ultimate choice will be permanent. Take time to think....weigh what you consider the pros and cons...it may appear that there are overwhelming consequences, but try to imagine the positives also. Like I said earlier, I am pro choice, but make sure it is an informed, thought out choice. You are not as alone as you feel. I am a highly educated woman and I did not follow my own advice, rushed into the clinic way too soon, did not think what I really wanted, and ultimately made a choice that I will live to regret and that haunts me in some ways from the shadows everyday. This is the first time Ive shared any of this.
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e I would be to this day had it not been for the decision that was made for us. I was raised pro life, I had even attended many Pro Life Rallies before I found my self pregnant during my Freshman year of college. Even though I was on the Birth Control Pill at the time, the unbelievable happened and here I was staring motherhood in the face. Being the mothering type I embraced the idea and just decided we would have to raise this baby and love it. My boyfriend who was 21 at the time was very on the fence about keeping the baby, but I told him it was best we kept it. I decided to take off a semester of nursing school and I added my name to the waiting list at my college day care program. Our plans had been set until his parents found out. His father never said much but his mother was adiment that we abort the baby. This was a woman i looked up to and respected like she was my own mother and took her advice very seriously since I didnt have this kind of relationship with my own mother at the time. She told me how this child would ruin her family and ruin her sons life, that she loved me as a daughter and that she saw her son and I getting married and having children since we had such a wonderful realtionship. We then made the appointment at the doctors office to talk about Aborting the baby. I was numb through the whole thing, we set the appointment, I was in emotional pain but i thought this was the best thing. A few days before the abortion my boyfriend bought a new car, in the trunk was a carseat and a nursing textbook.......I emotionally beat my self for not seeing this as a sign from God that everything would have been ok if we kept our darling child. The day of the abortion I sat in the car at the hospital and begged my boyfriend to leave, but we talked and i went in. The hospital was cold, i went through the procedure and was asleep so I dont actually remember, but i remember my boyfriend running into the recovery room sobbing when he saw me. He said we made a mistake and he knew it when he saw me. I remember saying that baby was with our grandfathers in heaven, for some reason that brought me peace. A few beds over a girl was screaming like someone was killing her. I was so concerened for her, i knew how she was feeling, empty, plain empty.
My beautiful child was gone and in a month and a half so was my beautiful relationship. I went into a deep depression as did my boyfriend. We couldnt handle the pain we felt together. For 3 years following I was in a downward spiral of drinking, drugs and sex. I dropped out of school and got myself into debt. I would see my ex boyfriend all the time during those years, the love was there but everytime we tried to be together the pain of our lost baby kept us apart. I am not sure he ever healed completly but he is an example that Abortion hurts men too. After picking my life up after much counceling at 23 I found myself pregnant again. My boyfriend (now husband) at the time was very scared and brought up abortion. I had learned from my past mistakes and made it a point to keep my son. At 20 weeks I was put on bed rest because my Cervix was weak and they were in fear of me going into pre-term Labor. They tell me it wasnt because of the abortion......but I always wonder, was I going to loose my child because of my past mistake? I now have a beautiful 15 month old who has brought me more joy than anything. Yes financially things have been tough, but my husband and i have never been happier.
I see my son and wonder what his sibling would have been like......all you have to remember is I will NEVER regret my child.....but i will ALWAYS regret my abortion.
My beautiful child was gone and in a month and a half so was my beautiful relationship. I went into a deep depression as did my boyfriend. We couldnt handle the pain we felt together. For 3 years following I was in a downward spiral of drinking, drugs and sex. I dropped out of school and got myself into debt. I would see my ex boyfriend all the time during those years, the love was there but everytime we tried to be together the pain of our lost baby kept us apart. I am not sure he ever healed completly but he is an example that Abortion hurts men too. After picking my life up after much counceling at 23 I found myself pregnant again. My boyfriend (now husband) at the time was very scared and brought up abortion. I had learned from my past mistakes and made it a point to keep my son. At 20 weeks I was put on bed rest because my Cervix was weak and they were in fear of me going into pre-term Labor. They tell me it wasnt because of the abortion......but I always wonder, was I going to loose my child because of my past mistake? I now have a beautiful 15 month old who has brought me more joy than anything. Yes financially things have been tough, but my husband and i have never been happier.
I see my son and wonder what his sibling would have been like......all you have to remember is I will NEVER regret my child.....but i will ALWAYS regret my abortion.
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When a person in the military aborts a mission, they stop the mission and return safely. Abortion with a baby is quite the opposite. As you can tell from these posts... abortion feels wrong to these women, even when they thought it was the "right" decision.
It feels wrong because it is murder. Everyone has a God-given conscience. When a woman is pregnant, that makes her a mother. If someone kills a pregnant woman, it's double homicide. When a doctor and mother kill a baby, it is first degree murder, or, it should be.
God will judge the living and the dead one day. Don't fear man, don't fear our laws, whether they allow abortion or not, legally... fear the one who has power to destroy flesh and spirit. Hell is real. It was created for the angels who rebelled against God with Satan. Now it's full of those that would reject God's love. God never aborted His mission when He was born into this world, in the flesh.
God is just, but He is also forgiving. That's why He sent Jesus Christ. Jesus paid for everyone's sins. The question now is will you trust Him? If you put your trust in Jesus to save you, He will.
You can have a new life in Christ. If you already know Him, run to him. His blood covers all sins if you repent and run to him. Turn away from thoughts of abortion. Your child will be more of a blessing in your life than a curse. ..
It feels wrong because it is murder. Everyone has a God-given conscience. When a woman is pregnant, that makes her a mother. If someone kills a pregnant woman, it's double homicide. When a doctor and mother kill a baby, it is first degree murder, or, it should be.
God will judge the living and the dead one day. Don't fear man, don't fear our laws, whether they allow abortion or not, legally... fear the one who has power to destroy flesh and spirit. Hell is real. It was created for the angels who rebelled against God with Satan. Now it's full of those that would reject God's love. God never aborted His mission when He was born into this world, in the flesh.
God is just, but He is also forgiving. That's why He sent Jesus Christ. Jesus paid for everyone's sins. The question now is will you trust Him? If you put your trust in Jesus to save you, He will.
You can have a new life in Christ. If you already know Him, run to him. His blood covers all sins if you repent and run to him. Turn away from thoughts of abortion. Your child will be more of a blessing in your life than a curse. ..
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i am 22 now, i had an abortion when i was 18. ive been with the same guy since i was 16. i didnt feel guilt at the time as i was too panicked to think how id have coped. he acted so selfishly afterwards ill never forgive him. as each year passes i find myself thinking more and more about the decision to have the abortion. i was 8 weeks along and had a vacuum aspiration abortion. it was the most painful humiliating experience of my life. i think perhaps i was too immature at 18 to be making such a huge decision, and as i get older the more and more my conscience eats away at me, especially as some of my friends now have children.
if one thing has made my mother ashamed of me, this is it.
if one thing has made my mother ashamed of me, this is it.
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I hate how anti-abortion activists spam threads like this. The line is always the same - I had one, it was the worst thing ever, the regret traumatises me, I was able to find peace with Christ. Obvious, much.
I have had an abortion. I became pregnant with an unplanned pregnancy whilst using birth control.
Was it hard? Yes.
Do I regret that I wasn't in the situation to make a different choice? Yes.
Do I sometimes wonder 'what if?'? Yes.
Do I regret my choice? Not for one second.
Because of the decision my partner and I made, we can plan properly for our future. He can finish his masters degree and get a high paying job, I can finish making my business (one that I have built with the intention of flexibility for motherhood) profitable, we can get married and buy a home. In short, we can plan for a child properly instead of starting a family on the 'back foot' and being forced to burden our parents while we take three times as long to become financially independent and being dependent on government welfare for low income families.
I want to have a child when I am mature, fully educated and financially independent. I don't want to rely on welfare checks or my parents' retirement kitty to pay for my child's prams and nappies. I want to be READY for a child and truly want it.
I just said goodbye to my embryo for now, I'll see it when I am ready to be a good and financially prepared mother. Do I regret it? Not. One. Iota. In the meantime, my partner and I are using two forms of contraceptive now to ensure that when we get pregnant it is 110% planned.
And you know what? Every single woman I know who has had an abortion did it for much the same reason and 110% stands by their choice and have few if any regrets. It hasn't ruined their life. It has given them the choice to be a prepared and responsible parent who is dedicated by choice to the task that is parenthood rather than being forced into it by virtue of the fact that they got pregnant.
I have had an abortion. I became pregnant with an unplanned pregnancy whilst using birth control.
Was it hard? Yes.
Do I regret that I wasn't in the situation to make a different choice? Yes.
Do I sometimes wonder 'what if?'? Yes.
Do I regret my choice? Not for one second.
Because of the decision my partner and I made, we can plan properly for our future. He can finish his masters degree and get a high paying job, I can finish making my business (one that I have built with the intention of flexibility for motherhood) profitable, we can get married and buy a home. In short, we can plan for a child properly instead of starting a family on the 'back foot' and being forced to burden our parents while we take three times as long to become financially independent and being dependent on government welfare for low income families.
I want to have a child when I am mature, fully educated and financially independent. I don't want to rely on welfare checks or my parents' retirement kitty to pay for my child's prams and nappies. I want to be READY for a child and truly want it.
I just said goodbye to my embryo for now, I'll see it when I am ready to be a good and financially prepared mother. Do I regret it? Not. One. Iota. In the meantime, my partner and I are using two forms of contraceptive now to ensure that when we get pregnant it is 110% planned.
And you know what? Every single woman I know who has had an abortion did it for much the same reason and 110% stands by their choice and have few if any regrets. It hasn't ruined their life. It has given them the choice to be a prepared and responsible parent who is dedicated by choice to the task that is parenthood rather than being forced into it by virtue of the fact that they got pregnant.
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I'm currently pregnant, going on 20. I'm in a very steady, loving relationship with the one I'm going to marry, and I've waited all my life to meet my children. As soon as I told my bf, he said "we have to go to the clinic then to ask about abortions" like there wasn't any decision making, just.. that was that. Like it was obvious. We're young and not really making that much money, but I can't help but feel I'm making a huge mistake. My appointment for the abortion is tomorrow and I STILL don't know if I'm doing the right thing - everyone's saying I am, but they're not me. I've longed for kids my whole life and now that I have one growing inside of me I'm giving it up. I'm scared of resenting my boyfriend afterwards for making me get this - but I keep telling myself, he's not MAKING me, I'm choosing to as well, I mean.. I'M ready, but he's not, so why would it be fair? I feel so sad knowing that I'm the only one who wants this baby, but I want it so bad that the voice in my head keeps telling me that it would be enough. That I could make this work if I really wanted to. And I do. I don't know what to do. I keep telling myself that wanting to keep this baby is selfish - a decision like this doesn't just affect me - but I know that after the abortion I'm going to be walking dead, just thinking what if. I know I will always be sad about tomorrow. I don't know if I can live with it.
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Guest,
Sounds like you are in QUITE a quandry. I think that the thoughts you are having in regards to keeping your baby should be listened to. Wanting to keep your baby IS NOT selfish. It is your inner "motherly" desire that your Creator gave you. Your partner CANNOT possibly think that if you are having sexual intercourse, that you would not get pregnant. It is an absolute MIRACLE for you to get pregnant.
Let me tell you, NOTHING is impossible...NOTHING in life. You can, and you will finish college, find a good job, and have the things that you need. Will it be harder? Yes, but these trials in life (difficulties) ARE NOT to break, they WILL ONLY make you stronger. It is NOT impossible to reach your goals, this little life, this blessing growing inside of you will bring you such JOY.... yes it will be hard, but it will only strengthen you.
I have counseled girls post abortion, and I am not sure ANY of them were ready for the emotional and sometimes physical pain it caused. I would think that the emotional pain would even make it hard for them to concentrate on what they needed to get done (school etc.). When you see your child smile and giggle for the first time, YOU WILL FEEL ELATED. That smile will give you the strength to do things that you might have otherwise thought impossible.
I will share with you. I had a miscarriage in November last year being 10 weeks pregnant. I was able to hold my son, HE WAS SOOOOOO beautiful. His fingers and toes were complete, you could even see the little wrinkles in his hands and toes. His eyes were beautiful blue. His entire body was complete, just needed to grow. I KNOW the miracle I saw, and to this day, my grief from this loss comes over me when I least expect it.
Follow "the voices" in your heart. What a miracle you are carrying. If your boyfriend decides not to "stay around" SO BE IT. You are 20, and this miraculous blessing you have received is ONLY going to make you stronger. There are tons of resources available to you through crisis pregnancy centers and they can even point you in the direction also to other centers. You mentioned being "walking dead" if you went through with the abortion. Your Inner Self is trying to tell you something.
You wont collapse under the stresses that may come. You will become stronger. You will become a better person, and it will only give you more strength to do even greater things. Hugs to you bless you. Let me know how things are.
Hizgrace
Sounds like you are in QUITE a quandry. I think that the thoughts you are having in regards to keeping your baby should be listened to. Wanting to keep your baby IS NOT selfish. It is your inner "motherly" desire that your Creator gave you. Your partner CANNOT possibly think that if you are having sexual intercourse, that you would not get pregnant. It is an absolute MIRACLE for you to get pregnant.
Let me tell you, NOTHING is impossible...NOTHING in life. You can, and you will finish college, find a good job, and have the things that you need. Will it be harder? Yes, but these trials in life (difficulties) ARE NOT to break, they WILL ONLY make you stronger. It is NOT impossible to reach your goals, this little life, this blessing growing inside of you will bring you such JOY.... yes it will be hard, but it will only strengthen you.
I have counseled girls post abortion, and I am not sure ANY of them were ready for the emotional and sometimes physical pain it caused. I would think that the emotional pain would even make it hard for them to concentrate on what they needed to get done (school etc.). When you see your child smile and giggle for the first time, YOU WILL FEEL ELATED. That smile will give you the strength to do things that you might have otherwise thought impossible.
I will share with you. I had a miscarriage in November last year being 10 weeks pregnant. I was able to hold my son, HE WAS SOOOOOO beautiful. His fingers and toes were complete, you could even see the little wrinkles in his hands and toes. His eyes were beautiful blue. His entire body was complete, just needed to grow. I KNOW the miracle I saw, and to this day, my grief from this loss comes over me when I least expect it.
Follow "the voices" in your heart. What a miracle you are carrying. If your boyfriend decides not to "stay around" SO BE IT. You are 20, and this miraculous blessing you have received is ONLY going to make you stronger. There are tons of resources available to you through crisis pregnancy centers and they can even point you in the direction also to other centers. You mentioned being "walking dead" if you went through with the abortion. Your Inner Self is trying to tell you something.
You wont collapse under the stresses that may come. You will become stronger. You will become a better person, and it will only give you more strength to do even greater things. Hugs to you bless you. Let me know how things are.
Hizgrace
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I was 16 yrs old when I had my abortion I'm now 34 yrs old and have a 2 yr old. For me it took having a child to realize what a huge mistake I made back then. I am just now grieving the loss of that child. I am wondering he\she? what would he\she look like? and how could I have done such a thing? how could I murder my own child? I am a super protective Mom and sometimes when I read horrible stories in the news of child abuse I think to myself I would have no problem shooting a person in the head that caused harm to my baby. I have called the cline to acquire my records of the abortion but they have none since so many years ago. After all these years I brought the subject up to my Mom who paid for the abortion and didn't stop me, she does not have any records but is looking for the receipt she has carried around with her in her purse, said it was her way of coping. She is trying to locate that receipt so I will now know the date of the biggest mistake of my life, I told her I would like to know so I could start mourning the death of my child on that day going forward...she may not find it however. I have not spoken to father of my deceased child in years but I also want to talk to him about this, we never did even thought we remained together and in touch for several years later. I recall him coming to my house and bringing me a single rose, today I think that rose given to me as his approval for me to go murder our child. I didn't deserve a damn rose, I don't deserver sympathy, my dead child does. I wish abortions were not avilable unless only in situations where the mother is at risk of dying due to the pregnancy, incest and forced rape. For the last two situations I even have mixed feelings though because it's not the childs fault. At the time I was dating the the first guy I had ever had sex with, the first time it was forced. The only thing I remember from my conversation that day when I received that single rose was me telling him I would tell the other guy it was his. I don't think I ever did and can't remember anything else about that conversation. My Mom doesn't even think she took me, only showed up to pay, I disagree but I guess we both have blocked this memory out as much as we could. My Mom mentioned maybe I should write a letter to my unborn child and seek counseling. I have not started that letter, this is my first writing about this experience. I think if you deserve to have an abortion you should be thrown in jail to pay for your crime. I don't think that being 16 gives me an excuse for what I did. I honestly don't see how this had not bothered me for so long?? now it has hot my like a ton of bricks. My Mom told me to think I would not have my current child, that really is no comfort at all. I know that if I would have never intervened and made that appt to stop the life of my child I would have a child probably graduating high school about now. All I can say to anyone reading this post is DO NOT DO IT. You may be fie with it then but I don't see how any normal person could never let what they did hurt them deeply. At the time I cared more about my popularity, cheering and being scared going through the physical pain of having a baby. I will ask my child for forgiveness but I would not expect my child to ever forgive me for what I did. I keep thinking of the doctor suck my childs like right out of my womb in less than 5 minutes and not caring what was done w/ my aborted fetus. Maybe I should have been forced to see it so I could see that I committed murder, forced to take it with me. They shoot the doctors performing the procedure, maybe they should be shooting the mothers leaving the clinic who allowed for this to happen, it's not like these doctors go looking for victims, victims are brought to his\her door step everyday. Somewhere I read it was like over 800K per year. I think now how I've aways hates killing bugs, spiders and such and think now what a hipocrit, I killed my own child!!!!
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Hi greys,
I just finished reading your post, which broke my heart. I wish I could reach through and give you a big hug :'( :'( :'( !!! Listen, I want you to know...YES there is hope and healing. There are alot of places that offer Post Abortion Recovery healing. You can find them in the phonebook under abortion alternatives I think.
I read through your post, and I understand see how much grief you are currently going through. Your posts also show you being very hard on yourself (please dont take me the wrong way).... I know.... I am the hardest person on myself. When you go through post abortion recovery healing... no matter how long it has been since the abortion, the counsel and program helps take you step by step through the beginning to the end healing process. Your grieving is totally natural, and something that you must let happen.
Be sure that you can share with someone whom is very trustworthy through the process.
I used to be a crisis pregnancy counselor, and I counseled girls, gave them information, encouraged them, and listened, I also followed up with them no matter what their choice was. I came to find that some of the girls whom were pregnant or not had previously had abortions, and I was just heartbroken for them. I decided to go through training to do post abortion recovery lay counseling myself in the hopes of helping them to heal the way He wants them to.
It is defintely a process, but it is something that takes you from the very beginning to the final end, and uncovers alot of things that help you to understand the anger, its triggers, how to get past them through forgiveness, know when the triggers are and what causes them, understand your forgiven, take you through the process of actually in the end naming your child and having a memorial service privately if that is what you wish.
The inner "meat and potatoes" goes much more into depth, but you will feel like a butterfly coming out of a long cased cocoon. I had a fellow counselor whom worked with me and had a few abortions, got things together and got right with Him, and sought out healing and became restored, and now she is using her experience to counsel girls and help them to become restored.
If you wish, you may send me a message I think you can go through Hizgrace4all and I am at yahoo. I would be glad to help you in any way that I can. Even if you choose, just to have a sounding board. Even in their best intentions, people who were part of your "abortion experience" in one way or another, may or may not even realize the effects they have had or still have, and perhaps dont understand the total process to the healing and restoration. These services are free....that they offer.
Please feel free to share anything you wish. I will just "listen".
Hugs and Hugs,
Blessings,
Hizgrace
I just finished reading your post, which broke my heart. I wish I could reach through and give you a big hug :'( :'( :'( !!! Listen, I want you to know...YES there is hope and healing. There are alot of places that offer Post Abortion Recovery healing. You can find them in the phonebook under abortion alternatives I think.
I read through your post, and I understand see how much grief you are currently going through. Your posts also show you being very hard on yourself (please dont take me the wrong way).... I know.... I am the hardest person on myself. When you go through post abortion recovery healing... no matter how long it has been since the abortion, the counsel and program helps take you step by step through the beginning to the end healing process. Your grieving is totally natural, and something that you must let happen.
Be sure that you can share with someone whom is very trustworthy through the process.
I used to be a crisis pregnancy counselor, and I counseled girls, gave them information, encouraged them, and listened, I also followed up with them no matter what their choice was. I came to find that some of the girls whom were pregnant or not had previously had abortions, and I was just heartbroken for them. I decided to go through training to do post abortion recovery lay counseling myself in the hopes of helping them to heal the way He wants them to.
It is defintely a process, but it is something that takes you from the very beginning to the final end, and uncovers alot of things that help you to understand the anger, its triggers, how to get past them through forgiveness, know when the triggers are and what causes them, understand your forgiven, take you through the process of actually in the end naming your child and having a memorial service privately if that is what you wish.
The inner "meat and potatoes" goes much more into depth, but you will feel like a butterfly coming out of a long cased cocoon. I had a fellow counselor whom worked with me and had a few abortions, got things together and got right with Him, and sought out healing and became restored, and now she is using her experience to counsel girls and help them to become restored.
If you wish, you may send me a message I think you can go through Hizgrace4all and I am at yahoo. I would be glad to help you in any way that I can. Even if you choose, just to have a sounding board. Even in their best intentions, people who were part of your "abortion experience" in one way or another, may or may not even realize the effects they have had or still have, and perhaps dont understand the total process to the healing and restoration. These services are free....that they offer.
Please feel free to share anything you wish. I will just "listen".
Hugs and Hugs,
Blessings,
Hizgrace
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Hi Newbe, I feel exactly how you feel. I did mine for the sam reasons you did yours. I was selfish, unemployed, afraid, afraid I would neglect my child because of my self centeredness, so I terminated my pregnancy. Now people see me interact with their kids and I get plenty of compliments that i'd be a good mother. And im beginng to see that now. Not a day goes by without me thinking I wonder what he/she would have looked like. If I would of had it, he/she would be about 4 months now. I cry because my mother had me fairly young, and she didn't abort me, so why do I choose to. It eats me up alive, my unborn never asked to be here, and I took his/her life. I am constanly thinking of his/her journey to my egg. It's amazing how human life begins.
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nobody tells you what abortion is really like it's an easy fix to to ae easy problem. Not on your life. It's the worst mistake you will ever make in your life, no mater how it started. Nobody tells you how you will think of the due date even after you've done what you've done. So once you,ve guessed the due date and still went through the whole nine months pregnancy in your head no doctor will tell you how it feels to know your child is not there because you have willingly taken it's whole chance of life away. However much you justify it in your head you will never be able to live with yourself again. I am one of the most emotionaly devoid people you will ever meet and i am struggling. I never told a soul, thankfully, only i carry the burden, through shame, how could i ever explain to my kids what i did to their sibling. I am not ashamed I just can't live with what I have done.
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