Abortion regret 'lasts for years'

I just recently had an abortion...a week ago.I did the abortion pill.I regret it..every decision leading up to it...my story is I'm married and my husband and I were having problems..hes out of town a lot...I seen him maybe twice a month.the distance and the lack of physical and mental emotion was getting to me so I turned to another man.not thinking I ended up getting pregnant and at that time I didn't realize how much I loved my husband until I got pregnant and realized I was about to lose him.the guy I turned to wasn't good for me.he was a heroin addict. I myself didn't do drugs but he did.he wanted no part of the baby.so in a quick unrashional decision I decided to get the abortion pill and end the pregnancy.and I didn't tell anyone I did it.now I'm sitting here crying wishing I could take it back.all I do is cry.I'm depressed and I would do anything to change this.it didn't solve my problem..me making this choice only hurt me more.and I don't think I will ever really get over it. Please think about the decision to terminate a pregnancy before you do it bc it can't be undone.

I'm so sorry to hear about your loss. I just want to encourage you, that there is hope and healing through Jesus. I have been in the same boat you're in, and I struggled with depression and even suicidal thoughts, and surrendering my life to Jesus and turning to comfort through the Bible and the Holy Spirit has completely changed my life, and my marriage. I was unfaithful as well, my husband and I fought all the time, but once I started giving my problems to the Lord through prayer everything changed, although it took time. Now I have a good marriage, a beautiful daughter, and above all, forgiveness. Bless you.

Like many of the women on this feed, I too had an abortion.  It has only been 3 weeks since terminating my pregnancy but not a minute has passed that I haven't regretted my decision.  I wish I had taken more time to really think about things, rather than rushing into the decision after panicking.

I am married to a wonderful man and have a set of 1 yr old twins.  The whole craziness of it all is that we spent 5 years trying to get pregnant before turning to IVF.  One year after having the twins, we discovered we were pregnant...naturally!  Instead of being overjoyed and happy about the blessing we had been given, we felt panicked.  After spending the year taking care of the twins, we felt like we had the right amount of what we could handle, which is absolute nonsense.  Children are a blessing.  I love mine more than words can express.  

Still, for 3 weeks, we talked it over and thought about it and decided that it wouldn't be fair to our current children to have another.  It would be hard on our marriage..etc.  Over those 3 weeks, I forced myself NOT to bond with the baby growing inside of me.  At 7 weeks and 4 days pregnant, I went to the clinic.  I was calm.  Too calm.

They gave me the standard ultrasound before the procedure.  Low and behold...I was expecting a second set of twins.  My heart absolutely BREAKS at the thought of the fact that I terminated not only one but TWO lives.  I can't properly express the regret I have.  I already know what could have been and what we are going to miss out on.  Sure, 4 kids under the age of 2 would have been challenging but I should have had more confidence in us.  It could have been such an enormous blessing for us all.

For anyone considering an abortion, I wish for you to really think about the positives that could come from the birth of a child.  Maybe even get counselling before the procedure.  Not to discourage you from choosing whatever it is that you choose but possibly to give you the perspective of an alternate choice before making the decision.  I know that had I given myself a little more time, I could have confidently chosen one way or another, rather than wondering now if we made the right choice.

 

I'm 17 years old me and my mother got pregnant at the same time when i was 16 she told me we couldn't afford it that I'd have to drop out if school get two jobs and she said it would be best she said i had to do it for a better life that she wouldn't want me living tough and stuck i believed her and i did it i can't blame her for feeling like this i only blame myself for going through with it i don't just cry i break down at school...it's embarrassing I'm ashamed i could of kept that baby I know I'm capable when i got it said to myself my life has to turn out great i have to live twice as good for him/her i love that baby so much it doesn't matter that I've never seen them it was mine you know something greater than me i think i need psychological help but i don't want to ask my mom cause i know we can't afford that just looking at my mothers new baby makesme even more depressed I've been trying to fill this pain with other guys....new hobbies...sports...singing....nothing works i hate myself

You are awesome, strong and beautiful - you are a wonderful mom.
go to WIC - they can help with insurance and food. I
I also had an abortion, i have a lot of regret, recently i realized I have ADD/ADHD, have had it all my life. People with ADD are more likely to have unplanned pregnancy, are more likely to have a teen pregnancy (although no one is collecting statistics I am betting most abortions are ADD do to poor impulse control especially when pregenant harder to focus).

Don't be down on yourself for the past, be grateful God is abundant in his gifts. Everything will turn out perfect. It has been my experience as a mom, my son was happiest when we were broke, we focused on enjoying the moments we do have, enjoyed nature which is everywhere, it meant we didn't fight over money cause we had none, . Keep going to different churches until you find one that you like. You are going to have an abundant, happy life with your child.

in relpy to : pleasehelpmebre

 

From your story, it sounds as though you were pressured and coerced.  This can be even worse than regretting a "decision" to "end a pregancy", and extremely dehumanizing.

It is illegal to force a woman, of any age, to have an abortion, but there are many women who are forced, and especially young women who are not yet of  legal age may have difficulty standing up for their rights.  You are not alone.  

It is ok to acknowedge loss, and to grieve.  Perhaps even neccesary. 

 

I wish i had read your post before i had my abortion. It has been 7 days of torture knowing what i have done only a week ago. I was 17 weeks and wanted to keep my baby. I am 25 years old. My boyfirend and family didnt support me, my boyfriends first response was "your getting an abortion". Then he told me he respected whatever decesion i made, yet he continously was asking "so when are you getting the abortion". The pain i fear will never leave me. It is the only regret i have had so far in life. I was a happy person a week ago. I was looking so forward to the birth of my child. In the end it was my decesion and i have no one to blame but myself. I still dont know why i did something i didnt want to do. As soon as i took the 2 pills i told the nurse i did not want to do it. She said it was too late and that my baby would suffer or have some sort of abnormality due to haven taken the pills. I have never felt more empty or sad in my life. I wake every morning hoping that it was all a dream and that i still have my baby inside of me. I wish i was not so selfish to make my decision. I would still have my little angel if i listened to that voice inside me.

I wish i had read your post before i had my abortion. It has been 7 days of torture knowing what i have done only a week ago. I was 17 weeks and wanted to keep my baby. I am 25 years old. My boyfirend and family didnt support me, my boyfriends first response was "your getting an abortion". Then he told me he respected whatever decesion i made, yet he continously was asking "so when are you getting the abortion". The pain i fear will never leave me. It is the only regret i have had so far in life. I was a happy person a week ago. I was looking so forward to the birth of my child. In the end it was my decesion and i have no one to blame but myself. I still dont know why i did something i didnt want to do. As soon as i took the 2 pills i told the nurse i did not want to do it. She said it was too late and that my baby would suffer or have some sort of abnormality due to haven taken the pills. I have never felt more empty or sad in my life. I wake every morning hoping that it was all a dream and that i still have my baby inside of me. I wish i was not so selfish to make my decision. I would still have my little angel if i listened to that voice inside me.

Hi, I was looking up abortion clinics and saw this forum.  I can only talk to my boyfriend about it, and even then I can't really talk to him about it.

I had my first abortion 10 months ago.  I wasn't on birth control, and the guy had lied about wearing a condom.  I was drunk at the time and didn't notice.  I was about to move 1500 miles away and he didn't want me to leave so we could get back together. He did it on purpose, I know, and I never told him to so he wouldn't try and talk me out of it.  Even though I REALLY didn't want to have this child, it was tough on me.  The day after I found out I couldn't help but think of it as a baby, but still I knew what I needed to do.

The days following the abortion I had nightmares almost every night.  Usually in them I had the baby and I would absentmindedly give my beautiful, perfect baby away to a stranger. I would realize what I did and start freaking out in the dream and wake up crying and looking for my baby like it would be in the bed.  Then I remembered it was gone, and it was my own doing.  But still, the dreams felt so realistic and the thought that would go through my head "It's too late, you killed it already" when I would realize it was just a dream. Usually the crying would last for about half an hour after I woke up, and I wouldn't be able to get back to sleep until a couple hours later.

I felt llike my life had no purpose afterward.  Like maybe a baby would give me purpose.  On the due date I calculated in my head (mar. 15 this year), was really difficult.  I felt like there was no purpose for me to be living, I had nothing to offer to anything, I had nothing to love, nothing to love me. A month later I was pregnant again.  I probably did it on purpose in the back of my mind because I just had such an emptiness in my womb I wanted it to be filled again.  I don't know why I did this.  He doesn't want to keep it and I knew he wouldn't.

I'm in the throes of morning sickness right now.  I've read morning sickness is a sign of a healthy pregnancy and women who have morning sickness are less likely to miscarry.  I can't help but read about the progress it would be making, week by week.  Imagining the little fingers and toes growing, I know her heart is already beating and I have thought of names.  This is sick.  I'm thinking of names for the baby I'm going to abort next week.

I wish I could go back.  I don't know why I did this.  I don't want to have the dreams again.  I rationalize it by saying to myself it would be more selfish to keep it.  I can't provide for myself right now, much less a baby.  I would only keep it because I want to be happy and loved.  I tell myself to learn to love myself better and then have children.  It's kind of hard to love myself right now. I can't imagine giving it to anyone else.  I couldn't let myself wonder like that.  I want children someday so bad.  I've always thought of myself as a maternal person, but now I view myself as some savage who kills anything that dares to enter my womb.

I won't be able to talk to anyone about it, and my boyfriend isn't exactly the "emotionally supportive" type.  I just really don't know what I think of myself at this point.  Thanks for reading, and (hopefully) thank you for not judging me.

 

 

Your friend is correct...you are putting your self-punishment above God!!!! Can't do that! Don't...we are a control oriented society...maybe that's good for many things...but not those that we absolutely cannot control!

Just to add...part of the control is being able to determine when you will be a mom...the
mindset when you find yourself in a less than ideal situation that tells you this could be a
disaster...horrible for both you and a child...is what causes the panic to control the situation
and make it go away....What a woman in that situation wants--- NEEDS...they want it to "GO AWAY"!!!!! what women do in a panic state should be open for more help!!!!
Instead of all of the "BAN ABORTION" why don't those righteous folks try and help those that feel that
they have no other option but to pretend they never got pregnant in the first place!!!!! Putting
some therapists in clinics might help many...those that decide to complete the process...and those
that may change their mind will be more mentally stable with their decision.
No one chooses this situation...to have to make the choice... I cannot believe anyone
is OK faced with that choice....scars are forever!!!!! Too bad the righteous do not realize the
majority of victims of abortion are still very much alive and suffering from their loss...I would believe for the overwhelming majority... it's very private and no one knows...it's their cross to bear...without help or sympathy from anyone. And I would also bet that the majority of the relationships died with the unborn!!!!!!!!
The focus on abortion should be to those without the choice...funny that "choice" is what they call it...sure...it's a choice...of last resort for many in a very bad situation.

I don't care if this was posted a year or so ago. People like me came to this page to help them cope with what they have done and you just kicked them when they were down. Get off your high horse and stop talking down to those you know nothing about.

I read these posts and see my daughter. She had an abortion last year and still has not recovered mentally or emotionally from it. In her heart she has named the baby. She tracks his age. At night she hears his cries. She cannot sleep nor can I from her phone calls. The only thing I really know to do is pray for her and her tiny baby and ask God to forgive her and let her forgive herself. Things are made worse because she is adopted and has always been against abortion and deep in her heart she knows her Daddy and I would have helped her with the baby had we known she was pregnant so the termination was really just for convenience, a reality she now admits with daily tears. Please pray for her as you read this as I will do for all of you because as I read your stories I can see each of you would truly have been wonderful mothers because you have the heart of a mother. May God bless each of you as you continue on your journey.

My abortion made me a hypocrite towards myself and has forever pained me because I was already a mother. I have been having unexplained pelvic pain since 12/20/2012. Tests show nothing so I have come to the conclusion that it's my mental guilt. I wanted the baby even though I was suffering deeply from my ex, the father of my other three children, spiraling out of control with his own life. He gambled, lied and cheated our lives away.We became homeless and financially drained. After moving out of my mothers house and financially getting back on my feet with two jobs. . I gave into a moment of weakness with my ex and he intentionally got me pregnant in hopes of getting back together. As with each pregnancy, I knew within days that I was pregnant. I gave him the opportunity to prove himself, but he failed more. I couldn't bare to struggle with another child while he refused to help me in any way yet force himself into my life. I was embarrassed because my youngest was only 5 months old. I was completely single,no longer engaged and eeveryone around me knew how bad I had struggled during my pregnancy prior to. I pawned things to pay for the abortion at the earliest date the clinic said I could. I cried and cried and the doctor was a rude insensitive prick. When I finally found my voice to scream stop it was too late. It was over. I even asked to see my baby and the nurse just held me. I cried alone. I suffered alone having to get back up the next morning, less than 12 hrs later, to be a mom to my other children. i went to work ad a receptionist and choked back tears for days. Two years later I count how old my baby would be... I know he was a boy. I apologize daily for the mistake. I rather had gone one welfare than did what I did because my exs child support payments stop and I lost my apartment anyways ending up back at my mother's house all over again. My baby was my motivation to get my stuff together ...get this degree done. Avidly apply to better jobs. Abortion is my only regret. The pain amplifies in comparison to losing my father or my constant struggles as a single mom.

I had an abortion in June 2005 and had three children already and couldn't take care of another one. I have regrets to this day about it and wondering what if. if I didn't have that done then I wouldn't have my beautiful daughter who I got pregnant with 6 weeks later. It is hard to not think about it and move on