Abortion regret 'lasts for years'

I aborted twice for very valid reasons. I never, never regretted it. I felt so light and happy after both abortions. I never considered those uninvited embryo's as "children" or "babies". Embryos and foetuses ARE NOT BABIES. Do not listen to propaganda, in the first months in utero, embryos/foetuses feel NO PAIN AT ALL and have absolutely NO CONSCIENCE of themselves or anything else.

Embryos/foetuses cannot live outside the womb, cannot survive by themselves. They are therefore no BEINGS. They are basically mutating cells.

The only reasons a woman can feel bad about her abortion are:

 

1) She secretely desired to become a mother

2) Guilty feelings she feels were induced by other people 

 

Don't tell me you were in love with a few cells. I read many posts here, and it seems that some young girls have very pinky, unrealistic expectations about motherhood and babies. Bringing up a baby is much, much harder than you think, and less rewarding than you seem to imagine. A woman must be ready to give life. A child deserves the best, and money is necessary in order to provide him/her a good life. Don't be naive. Don't let yourself being manipulated. Be strong and mature.

Just because a woman is pregnant does not mean she will automatically bond with the foetus in utero. Love is a feeling that takes time to develop. Esssentialism is nonsense. Hormones does not explain everything

God has NO plan for you. If god exists, he/she would want you to use your power: freewill !!!

After both abortions I decided that I was ready to have a child, he is now 15 years old and I love him so, so much. I was ready to take another human being in charge and give him a good start in life, which would not have been the case in earlier stages of my life. 

Keeping a baby just because "god must have a plan for me" is very stupid and lightheaded. Sorry.

Don't do that.

(please excuse my english, my mother tongue is french)

That's exactly how I feel - and I have asked for forgiveness an yet still feel soulless like I destroyed a peice of myself and nothing will bring that back to life :(

DO NOT DO IT. although it seems as if its the end of the world it is not. What if your baby helps you think better and make you re-evaluate your life and gives you a reason to fight for life. Two things can happen. 1. if you have your baby: you can change your life for the better. Now you will have a good enough reason to fight in life and better your self not only for you but also for that little one of yours. 2. if you get an abortion you can fall in a deeper depression level that may lead you to use drugs again and will lead to perhaps death. Think about it. Make a list. Having a man next to you for support is awesome but it is not required. Fight for the LIFE inside of you. I am currently 26 Full time student Full time at work, just got a promotion. My bf and i had been daiting for only 2 months and i got pregnant not to mention we work in the same office. He wants me to get an abortion but i just cannot live with the regrets. I use to be addicted to drugs earlier this year. I had gone through a divorce of 4 years and was determine by doctors that i will never be able to have children. I have decided to keep my baby because i know this will give me the streght to fight in life.

 

That doesn't make much sense. If you read most of these posts, the women didn't want to become mothers, and most of their family and friends were telling them to have an abortion. They also knew that their circumstances weren't the most ideal for having a baby, and they had guilt ANYWAY. And no, love is not a feeling that takes time to develop between a mother and her child. From the minute that child is conceived and you are aware of its existence, there is a very special bond. I also disagree with your opinion that 'God has no plan for you' . God has a plan for each one of us, if you follow his will. Just because you've had an abortion does not mean God has forsaken you. He still loves you and he offers forgiveness freely if you just ask for it. And God does want you to have a choice, but he hopes that you will choose the right thing, not the thing that will give you more freedom while hurting other people. I agree. A child does deserve the best, and it is sometimes very hard to provide that. But the best does not have anything to do with money. It has to do with responsibility and caring for your child and working hard for it. So many great people now look up to their mothers who gave everything for them in spite of having a very low income, and it is so rewarding when you get to see the world through your child's eyes. Oh, really? The fact that a fetus can feel pain is propaganda? And what do pro-lifers stand to gain by this? Do they get any benefit at all from trying to keep you from killing your baby? And what about what you're saying? Is that propaganda? Where did you learn those facts? If you look at this article, you can see that a baby can feel pain.  Firstly, it doesn't really matter if the baby can feel pain or not. It's still killing a baby. If someone murders a person that is under the influence of anaesthesia, is it still murder? Of course. And secondly, (I'm going to quote from the article here) 'Many pro-life doctors maintain that fetuses can feel pain by 8 weeks after fertilization (about the time most surgical abortions take place). Pro-abortion doctors tend to argue that fetuses don't experience pain until the very end of pregnancy. Whose testimony is more reliable, those who have a financial interest in the availability of abortion or those who don't? Ethically speaking, who is going to be less likely to lie, those who believe dismembering living human beings is a legitimate medical practice or those who don't?'

Couple of years ago my parents made me get a abortion i was 16 and plain out dumb . But i wasnt dumb enough to kill something that god had plan. I never wanted to go , i beg but my parents but they just could not understand how hard that was going to play a effect on me. i regret the whole situation . i forgiven my parents but couldnt forget . im  20 yrs old... finshed college and engaged to the the most understanding , loving man of my dreams but one thing is missing is that i can't get pregnant ... and its starting to take a tow over me .Im starting to get mixed feelings towards my parents again ...just need some one to pray for me it just real hurts cause this could have all bend avoided. 

im 18 and i had an abortion on the 14/08/12 i still regret it everyday, my relationship at the time was on breaking point and well i knew on my wage i didnt have enough money to support myself, i really cannot forget my baby, me and my boyfriend split up for 3 months and are now back together he supported my desition but i cant help but not to forget.

You are a cold blooded person. You make me sick. I have never had an abortion and I will never dared to kill my baby. The second a woman becomes pregnant, motherhood should take OVER. There is no excuse in this world that justifes killing your unborn child. IT doesn't matter if you are 1 day pregnant or 8, 9 months pregnant. Please don't try to break down the pregnancy cycle to give it different meanings and excuses. The point is, that baby is totally depending on his mother to protect him from all the harm in this world. It is your responsibility whether you like it or not. If you are old enough to engage in sexual activity, then you are old enough to take the responsiblity of now being a mother. Remember, you are all he has. Nothing is more important than protecting the life of your precious baby. Not your parents, your job, your boyfriend or your education, your financial situation. A baby's life is priceless. Your baby is your most precious jewel. A jewel should not be destroyed. but treasured. If you can't take care of your baby, don't take his life away, then consider adoption, you do have options There are wonderful families out there, that would love to adopt your precious baby. If every unborn baby could speak, they would implore, please "don't kill me, mommy, I want to leave, just like you. Do you know what doctors do to "partial abortions" , once the baby is out, baby's legs and arms are already moving except for the baby's head still inside, the doctor sticks a pair of sharp scissors to the back of their little head and open their scissors wide to make a big whole to vacuum the baby's brains out. It you can't call that cold blooded murder, then what. What baby deserves that? Abortion Doctors are murders, they only care about their fat paychecks. The more babies they kill, the more money they make. Doctors supposed to save lives not destroy lives. So don't let anythone touch your baby. You are his only hope. Don't let him down.

I'll pray for you. And there is always adoption. :) God still has a plan for you, and he will forgive you if you ask him.

Calm down baby girl and know that your baby is from you. You can take care of this baby, you'll be fine. Theres plenty things out here that can help you now a days. And yea its not an easy road, byt nothing easy was ever worth it. Love yourself mah, and love your child. Life is suffering, but its the mental strength that provides you total liberation. You'll be okay, and once your boyfriends see's how strong you are and the great influence you are, I'm sure things will turn for the better. Believe in yourself mah, you are okay <3

Abortion Regret 'lasts for years'

It truly does. This is the first time that I have told my story. I had an abortion 1/26/2011. I was 15 weeks pregnant and 17 years old. My boyfriend and I had only been together 6 months. We really wanted to keep it and I was extremely excited. I knew right away I was pregnant. The day after my missed period, I was so nauseaous and sick and tired. I took about 12 pregnancy test: all positive. I was one month pregnant and we had only been together three months, but we decided to take responsibility. Our baby was supposed to be born the week of our anniversary, July 27. We would have graduated high school, made plans for me for college, and he had a job. I was a cheerleader and had already quit the team, even though the doctor said that I didn't need to because I was in such good shape. I never actually told my mom, she had just figured it out. We never told his parents or family, but a few of our friends knew. Although we were fairly young, my boyfriend and I were ready to own up to the consequences of having sex (we always used condoms, but there is always that 1% and that was our baby). We already had names for a boy and a girl. My mom and grandma took me to the abortion clinic two times and both times I refused to get an abortion. By the third time they had mentally worn me down. They called me things like "a w**** and s***" and said things like "You can't do it" "You won't make it" "This thing is just a mistake". And I was so shocked because they were both devout Catholics and I attented a Catholic high school. I was, and still am, very devouted to my faith. I was so strong against their ugly words for about a month, and listening to the positive things my boyfriend would say. The third time we went down to the clinic, I did the worst thing that anybody could do: I aborted my baby. I fought so hard and I just gave up. I let them get to me and in my moment of weakness, I did it. I am 20 years old now. Every single day I regret it. I think about how I should have went to his parents, a teacher, a coach, and counselor, another family member, anyone who could have helped me. My boyfriend and I are still together. He was so hurt when it happened, and I really thought he was going to break up with me, but he didn't. The abortion itself was so painful. I will never wish that pain and pressure on anybody. To top it all off, it was anti-abortion and LIFE week at my high school that next week that I had the abortion. My teacher had went over all the different types of abortions and step-by-step on how they were done. Even right down to the abortion specialist that I had went to in my city. All that pain that I felt when the abortion was done, I was feeling all over again. And I cried. I cried and cried and cried. I did nothing but cry the next few months. Even now, ever once in a while, I cry. I would give anything to have my baby back. I prayed to God, and still do. I went to confession and the priest told me "God forgives you, now you have to forgive yourself". I know God forgives me, but I don't understand how. I am a murderer. I've tried, but I can't come for forgive myself. My boyfriend forgave me, and I don't know how. I think of how old my baby would be. I don't even know if it was a boy of a girl. I think about what the baby shower, nursery, and birth would have been like. Day-to-day things I could've done with my baby; going to the store, a ride in the car, watching tv, making dinner, going to visit friends and family. Every moment of every day I think about my baby being right here. Today is 2/19/2013 and my baby would have been about 1 year and 7 months. Anyone considering having an abortion, don't do it. Even if you don't want it, give it up for adoption. Don't be afraid to ask anyone else for help if no one is supporting your desicion to keep your baby. Life is the best gift and miracle. I hope my story helps someone, even if it's just one person.

I am the happy mother of a 15 years old boy, who I love very much. He was VERY much wanted and desired, and I would do anything for him.

Now...I aborted twice, as, unfortunately, it seems that I have an ability to conceive...quite easily. Sorry guys...but I never regretted it. I am so happy that I was STRONG enough to refuse what nature blindly and erratically imposed me. I do not consider embryo's nor foetuses as BABIES, as they are NOT. I consider embryos as simple chemical reactions. I do not have feelings for chemical reactions. 

Having a child is a very important decision, not to be taken lightly or unconsiderately. It impacts a woman's life for...decades ! giving life cannot be done simply because someone ELSE suggested that you should do it. Keeping a baby because "some women cannot have children" or "some study shows that omen could suffer mental distress, anxiety, guilt and shame after having an abortion" is particularly immature and absurd. I am sure the doctors who conducted those so-called studies are narrow-minded CHRISTIANS who tend to spread their very personal vision of religion this way...shame on them!!! 

I think women are strongly brainwashed into thinking that, as soon as they get fertilized, they are supposed to be overwhelmed  by warm feelings of love...human mind is something very...plastic and easily manipulated, depending on the social context and culture it lives in. If, from a very young age, a woman is being told that aborting will impact her, psychologically speaking, she will indeed be upset and will experience guilty feelings. I am so sorry for naive and young girls who decide to abort and are then being bullied by some doctors & "pro-lifers"... they indeed will feel guilty to have aborted...

When I see manipulative pro-life videos on you tube, it makes me very angry...foetuses do not feel any pain before 4 months in utero. Saying otherwise is lying. 

Pregnancy should be a choice, not a burden.

To npadilla:

1)  You OBVIOUSLY watched little pro-lifers videos on youtube, right? Partial abortions is NOT what I am talking about !!! I am talking about very early stage abortions (the type of abortion I had). When I aborted, I was just a few weeks pregnant. The embryo was JUST A CELL. I mean really, litterally. I saw it, as it was a chemical abortion. Once AGAIN....We are not talking about BABIES. We are talking about EMBRYO's, at a VERY early stage. I live in Belgium. Doctors here do not accept late-term abortions. I know this exist in other countries, but this is NOT the norm. So I hope you do not think that partial abortion really is what women talk about when they say they aborted. OK ?

2) As I spoke in a rational way, you suppose that I am a "cold person". Sorry, I do not know you, but this is SO immature ! Life is serious, baby. You should keep for yourself little motto's like "oh, a baby is a jewel"...please ! How old are you? Judging by your prose, you seem quite young and probably do not have children yourself. And of course, you underestimate what it is... Bringing up a child is not easy, it requires financial, emotional, intellectual resources. We see, every day, the sad consequences of poor child upbringing in the news...lost parents=lost kids. Pro-lifers do not really care about children, they care about the fact that GOD MIGHT JUDGE THEM..this is SO ridiculous!! Do you really think there is a guy, up there, in the clouds, who is keeping an eye on you? wow, scary...

3) You have to decide how you want to live your life, as long as it does not impact other people, and as long it is legal. Abortion is legal, no one suffers, apart from the woman who aborts, (but this is NOTHING compared to giving birth). So this is ok, and this is no big deal. You do not have to accept that people manipulate you. YOU have been manipulated into thinking that not wanting to keep a fertilized egg in your uterus was A SIN. This is...CRAZY. How can you not see it? 

4) We will see what life has in store for you. I know a woman who was a pro-lifer,  and finally aborted, as she was in a difficult position (financially, emotionally), and she finally aborted. Suddenly, just because SHE was confronted to this situation, everything was different. She was judging other people, like you, because she was ignorant. She was simply lacking empathy. She judged other women, and wanted to force them to accept an unwanted burden, simply because it made herself FEEL Better. You have the right to decide that you do not want to abort, this is perfectly right. But you do not have the right to decide what is right for other people or to judge their decision. 

It has been sinc 1977, 36 years. There were 3 more in between. The last in 1982. I married at 39. I never had a child. I still grieve. I still think. I still know. No one else does. My secret alone. I had 4 abortions and I am sorry to this day....

In one week it'll be one year since I had an abortion. I'm 20 years old, I felt as if I had no other choice. Never judge somebody on their choices. I regret this choice every single day of my life. One year later I'm still crying every week, lately every night. I always think about my baby, he or she never leaves my mind, the wonder, the curiosity, it all kills me. A few of my best friends are teen mothers & I see the struggles and extreme difficulties that they go through. I didn't make this choice because I was "lazy" or "selfish". I was trying to make a smart choice as heartless as you may call it. I don't care what anybody says, I may not know my baby & I am the only reason my baby isn't here with me right now, but the love I have is no less than if my child were here with me. I pray to my baby, I apologize every day, I feel him or her in my heart. I may not be able to be with my baby physically but in my heart he or she is here with me every second. Everything happens for a reason. I thought I knew what emotion devastation was but I never knew true sadness and pain until I aborted my child.

In one week it'll be one year since I had an abortion. I'm 20 years old, I felt as if I had no other choice. Never judge somebody on their choices. I regret this choice every single day of my life. One year later I'm still crying every week, lately every night. I always think about my baby, he or she never leaves my mind, the wonder, the curiosity, it all kills me. A few of my best friends are teen mothers & I see the struggles and extreme difficulties that they go through. I didn't make this choice because I was "lazy" or "selfish". I was trying to make a smart choice as heartless as you may call it. I don't care what anybody says, I may not know my baby & I am the only reason my baby isn't here with me right now, but the love I have is no less than if my child were here with me. I pray to my baby, I apologize every day, I feel him or her in my heart. I may not be able to be with my baby physically but in my heart he or she is here with me every second. Everything happens for a reason. I thought I knew what emotion devastation was but I never knew true sadness and pain until I aborted my child.