I posted this as a reply on another thread last night, thought I was posting to this one. Anyways here are my thoughts.-------------------
Can't speak for my man, but he and I started having anal regularly a few years ago. He is rather large, like 8.5 inches and really thick and I have had having trouble with him hitting my cervix. He always told me how good it felt when he was deep in me and boy it hurt after about 45 minutes of heated sex. I knew from watching porn (my guy isn't really into it - but i love it) that anal is the new thing and so I ordered some toys and while he traveled I started opening myself up.
Initially it was pretty dirty and slow going. I found that changing my diet to be not only helpful in keeping me "cleaner" up my ass, but I really dropped weight (was about 145, now 107). I began doing yoga and stretching to better accommodate all the positions that anal allows for. I did all of this for about 3 months before talking to my man about it.
Not knowing how my man would react, he is kind of a "purist" when it comes to sex, no dirty talk, no toys just straight "making love" kind of guy - you know - a nice guy. Anyways since I had been working out and eating better he noticed and we started talking about sex. I told him that I had been curious about anal and have been working on taking some toys. He was so good at accepting what I was telling him, it was sexy to know that we could talk about anal like this. He told me he would like to try so we started.
We have anal sex about every other time - maybe a little more, he still likes f*****g my vagina which is nice - even though he is big. But the secondary gain from that one conversation about anal sex is that it really opened the doors to our sexual and physical health. He has joined me on the new diet. He used to be about 280 pounds now he's about 225 and damn sexy. He really came around to anal and we bought a few couples toys including toys for him, including a feel-doe that allows me to f**k him. When we prep for sex we both clean ourselves out (when you change your diet to add more fruits vegetables and fiber, cleaning yourself out doesn't always need to happen, or if it does it is far less intrusive and time consuming - plus his cum tastes a lot better, BONUS!!!).
Some other tips for the ladies (or they're men doing some research for them). When trying anal for the first few times, it helps to push out like your trying to poop, if your empty inside - nothing will come out, save a little bit of gas which is normal. Contrary to popular belief pushing out helps your sphincters (yes there are more than one) to relax and open up. This makes anal less painful.
I have personally spoken to some experts in the field of gerontological heath and found that kegal exercises can be helpful to reducing incontinence issues. Similarly they said that like kegal exercises, anal sphincter exercises do not diminish the ability to prevent incontinence, they actually improve the ability of the anus to open and close. So they said anal sex will only serve you later in life, not hurt you.
Try toys - prep with toys to allow your as****e to open up. When I was helping my guy to be willing to open himself up I had him do the same thing I did, take a shower in the morning, put some thick water based lube on a comfortable butt plug and spend the day at work. When you come home you would be amazed what your ass is willing to accept.
If done right anal sex, in the right position - for me its missionary with my ankles behind my head, shoulders in front of my knees (sounds impossible or even painful, its not...hint: stretching and yoga really help you here). When my man f**ks me here he really stimulates my G-spot, a territory unknown to me until anal sex was discovered. If you watch any porn you know the magic of the G-spot including squirting orgasms. This is another secondary gain of anal sex ladies!
If your in a monogamous relationship only: we have graduated to using baby oil as a lube. Sometimes our sessions transition from a massage to sex. I say this only if your in a monogamous relationship because oil and condoms don't mix. Baby oil (or any other oil - mineral -if your allergic to fragrances, olive/cooking oil) really heat up our love making. And assholes, not being naturally lubed, thrive with a nice coating of oil.
Watch porn with your man/woman - you both will learn so much that you have been missing. And on a note about that: we have since watched a lot of porn and can safely say, at least with us - moving from ass to vagina, or from ass to mouth - IF CLEAN- is not a problem in our life. We have read many contrary opinions from "experts" on the internet, watched a lot of porn that contradicted said "experts" and we are of similar opinions of the porn industry: ass tastes good. I love the taste of my ass, his ass and I love the feeling of his tongue diving into my as****e.
Purchase a lube injector, something that will push the lube deep into your ass - you wont regret it.
Be open to new things. Before I looked into anal sex on my own, if you would have told me we would be regularly having anal sex and I would regularly be f*****g my husband with a sex toy, I would have laughed. Loving and trusting your partner is the best recipe for success in the bedroom. Never once did I feel pressured or did I pressure him.
Update since last night. Told my man I wrote this and he wanted to share his 2 cents. He told me that the most important thing for him was being willing to accept each person's limits. He told me that he loves learning new things and loves it when I bring him things I saw in porn into the room. Be careful when your lover says no, and WANT to know why somethings are good, somethings are not good and when somethings are not good - now (meaning being open to trying things at a later date as opposed to never).
He said that the tip to anal is to pushing out like you are trying to poop is the key to it being comfortable- at least for him (and me). It goes completely against what you think, but once you relax yourself enough to take what is being offered it is exhilarating - even for him. (he doesn't know I wrote this part but take it from me that about 2 years into me f*****g him with toys he is now taking a full 12 inch double headed dildo, past his last sphincter so that it disappears!) He says he likes feeling full.. like his lady.
Lastly he said you need to be able to trust your partner. Without trust, like in real loving relationships you wont get far. So if your significant other is resistant to anal, it may not mean she is completely resistant to the act, rather it maybe how it is being presented/delivered. Love your partner and be willing to accept NO.
Been going out with my girlfriend for 5 years (we're both 24) - we first tried anal sex a couple of years ago, by 'accident' (alcohol was involved). She said it was painful but felt nice. From then on, we had anal sex as part of our lovemaking, however, we'd usually start off vaginal for 5-10 minutes, then anal for 5 mins or less, then we would finish each other off orally or by masturbation. This only carried on for three months, then she said that she felt weird from doing it. I didn't argue because I enjoy vaginal intercourse, so I left it at that. Then just the other week, we were making love missionary; it had been a good couple of months since we'd had sex since I was away working. I then slid my penis up and down her ass, lubing it up, and she moaned with pleasure, and asked me to give her anal. I obliged, and anal missionary style was the BEST! I normally cum first during sex, but never inside of her, and she came within 2 minutes!! I continued while she looked up at me, still moaning, and I then came inside her ass. She really enjoyed the feeling, as did I, and has agreed to continue with anal during sex in the future. She enjoys it because she says she has more intense orgasms, especially if she rubs her clitoris and I insert a finger inside her vagina. As for me, from a male's point of view, it looks awesome, and I'm able to cum inside of her, which makes my orgasms more awesome too! The only negative is the clean up afterwards; when I first shot my load up her ass, I produced a LOT of semen, and she made a mess of the floor!! Plus, with missionary, here's less chance of it leaking into her vagina; no babies for us!!
I don't know why she would scream in pain, every woman I've been with has loved it! I'm 47 now and have been pounding ass for almost 33 years, still a bachelor but I seem to keep the ladies flowing! Just this month alone I've been with 6 different women, 2 of them in their early 20s, and only one lady refused to do it, the rest loved it. Everyone always tells you to use lots of lube, yeah I guess that works, but if you just cram it in there she'll get wet eventually, or she'll start bleeding, that works too, (me and my steady girl actually prefer having sex when she's on the rag). Here's what you gotta do since she says she ain't gonna try it again, get her really screwed up, and then when she passes out, start putting your fingers in there, start with your pinky and go bigger and bigger, find objects in the room, she'll loosen up a bit at a time, then eventually you can get your one-eyed buddy in there and go to town, when she wakes up she'll be enjoying it so much she will beg you to keep going, trust me I do it all the time and I know most people are gonna call me an as****e but guess what, these ladies thank me later! Tellin ya bud, try it, you'll be glad you did!
Thanks for the advice it works perfect.
as a teenage girl here, I can say that yes girls love anal: this girl. Like the man wrote a couple posts before this: Anal provides more intense orgasms - SERIOUSLY more intense! I still love getting it in my p***y but the anal is the real treat. My guy loves it too. Gotta have good communication that is 10 times more important that lube is and you know how much lube you need. On my back with my legs behind my shoulders is the best way to direct his penis to my gspot which gets you to those super intense orgasms.
Helo there. I am a male and definitely a newbie on this sort of practice. I have visited several URLs but I have seen so many conflicting/ambigous answers, I feel like I am about to start my search all over again. One thing seems clear though: the guy should be sort of "passive" here and let the female tell him how to go along. Maybe I got it wrong but that is the general opinion so far. Am i wrong here, or is this the best way to initiate anal sex with your lady? Another thing, is it better for her if the guy happens to be "modest sized", or does size matter after all? Thank you all peeps :) .
Thank you very much. At least i've found out something about it, from a real person. So. apparently I WAS right at first. The guy should "obey the female" basically. Interesting. I also find interesting how the guy can hit the G-spot in that position, it would have never occured to me because I had the idea that in such a position, both would suffer from fatigue real soon. Small wonder, the better informed you become, the better lover you shall become as well. So the key happens to be patience and move real slow, huh?
Thank you again :) .
I was really hesitant about trying anal sex. I thought it would be gross, painful and degrading.
My boyfriend really wanted to though, so eventually, I let him do it.
He did not use lube. He just shoved it right in. I have never experienced a more painful sensation in my life. I was being ripped in half. I literally begged him to stop.
Needless to say, that put me off for quite some time...
Then he started again with lubricant at the ready, at first using fingers and small toys, and when I began to get used to that, he tried again with his penis. I was on all fours, so he let me push back slowly and get used to the feeling. It was a lot less painful with the lubricant, but it still hurt a bit and felt really uncomfortable.
Fortunately for my boyfriend, I have a fetish for being dominated, so when he would 'force' me to have anal sex, I got off on it psychologically and soon my body started to enjoy it too.
Now, we have anal sex quite often, about once a week I suppose. It doesn't hurt anymore unless he goes in at a weird angle and I actually really like it, I've even had a kind of orgasm from anal sex before. Sometimes I ever prefer it to vaginal sex.
So yeah, some girls will like it. I think most girls will enjoy it if
a) They actually try it,
b) They're with a trusted partner who knows what he's doing,
c) Their partner is patient and allows them to get used to it with fingers, toys etc before just jamming it in,
d) They wait out the initial painful first few times
e) They can get over the 'gross' and 'degrading' associations
And finally, and I can not stress this one enough,
f) LUBE LUBE LUBE LUBE!!!
I find religion to be very misleading. Believing in something that is over tens of centuries old without any real hard evidence just doesnt seem to be my thing.... BUT PLEASE ENLIGHTEN ME - im very open minded... I think it is hard to do something fun in life if you live very religiously. I find religious people to be very narrow minded and know little about our beautiful earth and all the things they miss out on. Dont get me wrong I go to church atleast once every 2 months, but im still baffled by the people that go there and it seems to get weirder each time listening to the same stuff that is preached. How is anal sex a sin, i mean come on!?
Well I can tell you, as a married man, that I love my wife and I like to share that experience with her. It feels awesome and your boyfriend just wants YOU to make him feel good, better he get it from you than someone else, and if it's not for you and that's what he really wants, then maybe you guys should date other people that want the same things you want ya know. Me and my wife don't do it every time but when she is in the mood and ok with it, then we do
I don't know a single woman who likes anal sex. Its vile. Its having a penis in your arse hole for f**ks sake. The only person who 'likes' anal sex is men. Women need to stand up for woman and admit this. It hurts, makes you feel dirty and violated and your arse is not made for a penis to go in. Its made for having a sh*t, end of story. Why men want to violate there women so much is vulgar. Maybe they should try getting rammed by a dildo first, and every other time they ask for anal sex from then on for a good 10-15 minnutes a time. And don't say "its not the same for men". Because it originated with gay MEN.
I love anal! For me, the best part is often just after he’s entered me and I’m lying (or sitting) there motionless with his big, hard penis aching, burning, throbbing and tingling deep inside me. The glorious feeling of being totally stuffed, stretched, crammed and filled combined with the psychological thrill of doing something “dirty” and “forbidden” is the most wonderful feeling in the world. And when he starts thrusting, baby, the ecstasy is indescribable.
My girlfriend asked me about anal sex. She asked if I had ever tried it. I said no but have thought about it in the past. She asked what turned me on about a woman's butt. I told her if she is shapely, sexy, and knows she is attractive and of course has a nice personality, then why would the idea of thinking about her in a very unconventional way be wrong? She agreed. She also confessed that she likes when men look at her butt in tight jeans or short shorts. We crossed the barrier and it was like being in heaven. We still do it on a regular basis. It is our business and our pleasure.
There ARE women who enjoy it. I personally don't and I find it to be a HUGE turn off. My advice though is that if you want to pursue it that BOTH of you should want it, one should not be pressuring the other, and to use plenty of lube. Also you should use toys to make her more relaxed before you actually put your penis in there. I just don't understand how it's pleasurable at all but some women REALLY like it. So I guess I'm saying yes lol. Just be careful and do it right so you both don't hurt eachother.