Bipolar boyfriend breaking up with me every 3/4months- at my

I recently went through a very toxic, manipulating relationship with a guy who was diagnosed with bipolar disorder. He was on medication when we first met and everything was perfect . I fell really hard for him. Things got bad and he lost his job , his money , and his health insurance meaning he could no longer be on his medicine. Because I really loved him I did everything for him paid his bills , got him out of certain debts , car payments , gave him money for food and gas to find a job but he never did . His anxietys and bipolar disorder caused him to have a very hard time finding a job . I thought it was just a rough patch since everyone goes through them and that's why I helped him. It ended up to be a cycle . He would also tell me he loved me one day and the next day the spark was gone and he no longer had feelings. All this time I wondered what i had done wrong and started developing depression. He then told me I was the one with all the problems and needed to do a list of things to change to be worthy enough to be with him. He said he couldn't deal with me and my drama and depression problems and that I needed to get help. While he drove me to these problems because I went crazy trying to help him with the much many more problems he had. He would block me from social media and texting on and off, swear at me and tell me to stay out of his life and the next day come in like nothing happened and unblock me. This mentally messed me up and eventually now he told me he never wants anything to do with me again in a long email. I'm blocked from everything and he has told me to get my life together . While he remains jobless, moneyless , and still not trying to get on meds. I am hurt because I still love him and wonder what I did wrong to get blocked out of his life after all I've done for him. These stories have helped me understand . Any advice or similar stories will help me understand more please !

Tears as i read this.... I could have written this post myself.. it is my life at the moment with my bipolar (now ex, again). the roller coaster ride for 2 years ...you always want so badly to believe that they have changed or will not hurt you again, but they cannot keep these promises in the long term. From one day to the next never knowing if this is going to be the last time you hear from them or if they change their minds about loving you and all of a sudden need to bail. Mine did not have the coping skills to deal with ANY amount of stress or pressure and always found it easier to run away only to return sometimes days, weeks or months later apologizing and promising the same things all over again. My ex was on meds then went off (months ago) because he was convinced he wasn't sick (sadly almost every bipolar with struggle with this) and this caused him a downward spiral into psychosis and was having severe suicidal thoughts and delusions. Probably the worst I have ever seen him and wound up in the hospital for a few weeks to get back on meds and stabilize. And yes, of course I stayed with him thru all the hurt and b.s. he put me thru because I loved him and thought I could help him! NO ONE CAN HELP SOMEONE with a mental illness or any other illness if they will not help themselves. You will drive yourself insane trying to be the savior. It doesn't work like that. And the thing is there are many people with bipolar that do everything in their power to stay healthy and stable and don't treat the people they claim to love disrespectfully. They work like hell to try and live and cope with their illness as best they can. My ex does not do everything he can to stay stable and healthy and he winds up putting his own health in jeopardy with impulsive behavior (smoking weed, gambling, etc). So it becomes an effort in futility trying to help someone when they are sabotaging their own well being .. and doing this c**p while he's on MEDS! And no I don't think he will ever truly understand the pain he has caused me. He has definitely changed in the last 6 -8 months and when he was stable and things were great, he would have done everything in his power to stay on track and was truly remorseful if he did anything to hurt me or anyone in any way. Now, I barely recognize the man I fell in love with. I'm tired of the excuses and the lazy approach to being well and doing the absolute minimum just to get by day by day. Meds are definitely not enough and he will continue this pattern probably the rest of his life if he doesn't help himself to be a better person and get into some serious therapy to learn how to cope with his illness and managing the mood swings and impulsive behaviors. I don't ever wish him harm and will probably always love him, but the unconditional love and support and sacrifices has come at a high price and has almost destroyed me inside. I can't continue down this path with him anymore at the expense of my own mental well being. It has slowly chipped away at my self esteem and self worth... and now i'm left picking up the pieces of my life once again. I'm praying to find peace with this and I know it will take time, but I have to save myself now. For those of you struggling in your relationships with someone with this illness, I pray for you to find strength and know when enough is enough.

Catatonic writer is clearly self-centered and believes he is better than others. I know many people with bipolar and have been involved in relationships with two. Yes -- they are intelligent and easily bored -- but they can be outright nasty to the wonderful, loving people who support them. My advice to anyone with a bp partner is to put your own feelings first -- Are you strong enough to deal with the ups and downs for the rest of your life? What about if you marry and children are involved? My mother and brother had bipolar as did 2 boyfriends. It is a hard to deal with their rudeness. If you are feeling overwhelmed,it's time to do yourself a favor and move on.

Hi wow omg I'm going throu the exact same situation with my now ex boyfriend.
And I wanted to know if you guys got back together,if he changed his behaviour.

Such a sad story and I feel it describes what is happening to me right now, I don't have kids neither does he, but the part about not being able to give you what you deserve, or the way you say you'd stand by him through everything. I feel you, it hurts so much to lose the love you feel because I dont think its a stupid ir foolish love, it's a connection that goes beyond that.

Hello saw your message. Its been 8 months and I still find myself still very hurt. How do I ever gain back myself. I never felt pain like this before and I can't explain it to people they don't understand unless you been in this situation. I just want to forget him and move forward but somehow I still wake up every morning and think of him and at times I still get sad and miss him.

I’ve been in a relationship with my boyfriend for 10 months now. He recently got diagnosed with bipolar and I’ve been having difficulty dealing with his mood swings. When we get into arguments, he would never admit he’s wrong and would accuse me of being selfish. He would attack me and think that it’s because I started everything. I want to understand how to deal with someone who’s bipolar..it’s so difficult to get through days without him trying to make me feel bad or him complaining constantly. I’m starting to see a therapist to get through this rough time.

Are you still together?

Great insight. Thank you.

I know this is an old post, but I had to weigh in. Catatonic, your "advice" is both incorrect and dangerous. I'm happy for you that you seem to be dealing with a milder form of bipolar (keep in mind that the cycles worsen as you age - as well as the fact that there is physical brain degeneration that comes with the package) not everyone is that lucky.

My husband is Bipolar 1 - rapid-cycling, with bipolar psychosis. I've lived through many cycles now. I'm highly educated and extremely well-read on his condition. That doesn't stop it from hurting when he turns into a completely different (monstrous) person. Many people who suffer from bipolar have very damaging manifestations of their cycles: Abuse (both emotional and physical), lying, cheating, gambling, substance abuse, self-destructive behaviours, etc. While these things are possible across the spectrum of humanity - with bipolar, it can be (and often is) much, much worse. Add bipolar psychosis to the mix and you are living in the Twilight Zone. It is very difficult for someone who loves someone with bipolar to not have any feelings in response to what their partner does or how they act, in an episode.

Everyone's personal experience with bipolar can be different, but the patterns the individual goes through seem to be consistent, from what I've experience anyway. When your partner is bipolar, you can never know what each cycle will bring. If someone wants to try and work though a spouse's illness with him (or her) it's helpful to be prepared for what's potentially coming. Bipolar is a degenerative disease. It won't get better, it will get worse. There are good medications and therapy available, but there is nothing that will ever make it gone.

To anyone living with a bipolar spouse, arm yourself with as much knowledge as possible. You've got to know what you're dealing with and be honest with yourself about whether you want to commit to a lifetime of it. Sending love and strength to everyone here.

PS. I lifted part of this post from one of my other ones, because I'm lazy :p

Hi, this is an old post, but I thought I'd respond anyhow. Your story matches mine in almost every detail, especially your description of your man, and the progress of your relationship. I am trying to deal with the fact that it may never be a happy ever after for us, and am curious to know how things went with you.
Warm regards.

Oh God, I feel for you, that could so easily happen with me and my loved one. He has recently broken us up (again) saying he cannot accept my love; and if we really part, I fear I will attempt to make contact with him one day to find he has ended his life, which he has tried to do several times already. Heaven help us.

I agree. We want to take them back, and we do. I’ve been in tjis relationship for 8 years and it is breaking me. He convinced me to let go of my house and get a house with him, I did. I saw it as a sign that he was finally ready for the long term. He kicked me out 10 months later. Now I am a 42 year old woman who has lost everything I had worked for in my adult life, living in a friend’s basement apt. He has sence come back, crying, saying he made a mistake once again and to nevet let him do it again, he will do anything to get me back. The same story every time. It takes him anout 2 werks to a month for him to come back. Then we are hood for anout 7 -10 months. Then it is he kicking me completely out of his life for a few weeks, wreaking everything we had worked up to.
My advice, don’t take him back No matter how much you love him and tge good times you have. It is not worth wrecking your entire life for. I love him more than I have ever loved another human, but I wish so desperately that I had not taken him back 7 years ago. It has been hell.
Please be stronger than I have been, it will not end. Get out and find a healthy life for yourself.

Sounds like we were dating the same guy. Charming, attractive, funny, extremely hypersexual, addictive, yet easily bored. Says we are the most beautiful woman he has ever seen! We are idolized and hooked so he can fill himself sexually, says how much he loves us and then discards us and goes no contact when seeing other people. Why? Because he is a steriodal narcissist! He is extremely loving one minute then apathetic and cold. Runs back and forth between the mtns and burbs juggling his various girlfriends/sources of supply. Good riddance!

Hey haha yeah I'm a seventeen year old girl and this has happened to me over and over again. I don't know anybody else with bipolar disorder, and I can't talk to anybody who can relate. My boyfriend and I have been on and off for three years and I never stop loving him, but currently we aren't dating (this will probably last for a month, of course). He has broken up with me four times now, each time saying he doesn't love me, then coming back and apologizing. Somebody please contact me if you need to talk or vent about it.