Bipolar boyfriend breaking up with me every 3/4months- at my

Wow that's deep , Sometimes med's don't help they make a person down spiral witch is the worse, buy pushing the one's they love away from them , But in you're case why would he just want too up and leave , The life he had with you and everything he had along with it ? Unless he can never really love to begin with his own son ! He need's a good kick in they ass !!!! I for one could never do that , but i guess people are different. I am sorry for you're lost i hope he opens his eye's and really thinks about what he has done Too you and you're son !!! Don't feel bad for not helping him . You can’t help someone who won’t help themselves !

I have been at a loss as to what happened with my bi polar boyfriend. we were together 8 months and everything was going very well. Talks about the future and we never had fights. My daughter was very sick and was in ICU for a few days, he was supportive while she was in the hospital. Two days after getting home from the hospital he vanished. No explanation, he didnt respond to calls, messages. I gave him easy outs to just say its over, nothing,  no response at all. Maybe my situation and the fact that he was just going to be starting school the same week was too much for him?

I have been devastated by all of this and am now dealing with a very deep depression of my own. If he had said anything to me or given me some kind of explanation, even a post it note saying "i hate you" I would feel better. The silence has been cruel.

Is this common for someone with Bipolar when stressfull situations come up.

I am just trying to figure out how someone could just drop out like this.

I really love your post on bi polar disorder. Very helpful and informative as my bi polar boyfriend broke up with me when just the day before he said he loved me and wanted to work on our relationship... Craaazyyy!

I don't know what ended up happening in your situation, but I can tell you that in my experience over 18 years, not only is it common, but it doesn't end. Because stress can trigger an episode, you will often find yourself dealing with stressful issues, including illness, by yourself. Consider what you want to do, because this is not a fixable disease, often even when they work with it.

Agreed... Your suggestion of Narcissistic Personality Disorder. In all seriousness, if you need a partner to treat you like a lady, or value your opinion, or will not treat you lovingly ,etc. or if your partner constantly needs to be consoled or comforted but never returns that behavior, walk / run as fast as you can. I'm in this dysfunction relationship for nearly 4 years and I sound like most of the people on tis board... "What do I do wrong? What did I do to offend him? Why does he love me one minutes, the you turn around,a and you are portrayed as a huge can of poopie." I love my guy, too, and it feels like he's only "nice" to me when he has done something wrong, morally or legally, he suddenly wants to do things for me or shows actual interest in me. Unfortunately, my self esteem is in the toilet and I feel all of my excuses are lame... But still, its hard to love him.... But harder to leave him... I'll say a prayer to all of you for strength in these relationships. I feel ya, sisters... Good luck.

Reading this gives me some help. I have been friends with this guy for 20 years. We clicked at a birthday party. And for a year and half we went back and forth. At first I just thought it was regular "guy" confusion. For the past 5 months things were really good. Like we should have been together all along. I was meeting his family, spending holidays together. Then I noticed him distant, he was saying he felt a void, and that I was everything he could want be he feels like he should feel more for me. For weeks he put me on an emotional roller coaster of emotions on not knowing what he felt for me. THen about 2-3 weeks ago. He called me and could barely get the words out. He wanted to be friends. I wasn't sure, still am not what he is dealing with. He said long ago a general doctor put him on Anti-depressiants. He didnt' like the way he felt so he stopped. I told him that maybe he had some form of depression, and begged him to go to a doctor to get some help. He said the only reason you want me to go to a Doctor is so I can feel something for you. Very hurtful. I told him how much I loved him and cared about him and I was willing to stand by him no matter what. He said he needed to do this on his own. That he wasn't sure he was making a mistake, and IF he was wrong I would the first call. And if I didn't want to take him back I could tell him to go to hell. I was trying to think where have I heard this before. I thought... A year and Half ago from him. It was the same words as before.. like he was reading off a script. I wish I would have kept better track of dates things happened between us to piece things together better. I asked him when he wanted me to pick my stuff up from his house and he said "whats the rush" I asked him on the call so we are done.. you want me to date other guys... He said no. I was crying on the phone and so was he. Nothing makes sense. I haven't heard anything from him in almost three weeks. Help?

I am curious. When he periodically breaks up with you don't you think that he's seeing someone else or others? I was reading that bipolar, when manic, can become sexually promiscuous.

I agree. There is only so much you can do for someone. Whey limited exposure I have to bipolar is that bipolar people are self centered, immature, dependents.

My husband suffers from depression..bipolar and PTSD...it is a Rollercoaster to say the least...one minute he says he will never leave..I'm his life...then within hours..because he can't find our daughters shoes...he says it's not working out..it's over...I said for sickness and health..I meant it...but I'm not gonna chase him thus time..or remind him of the good and try and pull him out of his down state...I'm just going to let this ride out..and leave it in God's hands...this is so painful because it's impossible to reason with someone who has these kinds of mental problems..they are selfish..only see their side..lack empathy and always play victim...I'm have sacrificed more than I can understand for him...with getting next to little in return...I have no answers on what to do...just explications..on how messed up and hurtful life is when you are involved with people who suffer from this..I know it's not his fault.but he can be doing more to fix it...I see signs in my daughter and it scares me...I'm just glad I am not alone...

Get out of the relationship as the environment could affect your daughter as well as the possibility that she could have inherited the bipolar tendencies.

Hi,
I notice this post is from over a year ago but I wondered how you are doing?

Basically I met a guy in January 2015 (6 months ago) and we fell for each other really quickly and started spending loads of time together. About 6 weeks in he ended things with me for no real reason, saying he didn't feel the same and had a lot going on. He was currently buying a house so I assumed it was the pressure of this. I refused to accept we were over and made him meet me for a drink and we talked and seemed fine and he apologised for ending it. Once again our relationship was pretty great again.
Then it happened again about a month later. He gave the same reasons and said he didn't think he loved me anymore. I was devastated and cried for two days then met him for a drink and although he still stuck by what he said, by the end of the drink we were holding hands and kissing and eventually things got back on track again.
As you can probably guess, this happened again and again and again. Yesterday was the most recent. We were texting all day, sweet messages saying we couldn't want to see each other as I'm staying at his tonight and tomorrow we fly to Amsterdam for my birthday but we ended up having a row over text last night. I'm not even sure how it happened as we NEVER row but then I called him and he was really angry and he told me it was over as he couldn't do this anymore. We've spoken this morning on text but I get the impression he still feels the same. I've managed to convince him to still come to Amsterdam with me though.

I know his Dad has Bipolar Disorder but he doesn't see him as he left when he was young. I have mentioned the bipolar to him and he said someone has suggested it before but he has never been checked. As far as I can tell, his low episodes can last anywhere from a few hours to a week but they may be longer, this is just what I can actually see. I have no idea what it feels like to be in his head.
I've read on another site from a guy who has bipolar that when my partner breaks up with me, I should say something along the lines of 'I feel like your mood might be affecting how you feel about our relationship so when you're feeling better, if you still want to talk about it then we can but for now I can't accept what you're saying'... I haven't actually tried this yet but it will be my tactic tonight when I see him.

Any advice you have would be much appreciated. I don't want to end things with him as I love him and care about him so much and I don't want to do anything but help him through this. When his mood is good, our relationship is amazing, but when his mood is low, it breaks my heart.

K

Are you ok now?

I cannot believe how similar our stories are. Thank you for writing this and sharing. This is me exactly. My boyfriend is up and down and has become abusive. He is no longer the man i fell in love with. He was gentle and kind and over time has become angry mean and paranoid. As well as now having explosive anger with some violence. Ive done all the same things you have. The completely irrational thoughts start and spiral out of control and im left feeling like i was just hit by a truck. What i find so difficult is having now to believe that he is so far from the man i met three years ago. He is not willing to get help and is getting worse by the day. Has now told me he is done with me. For no reason. After 3 years. Out of the blue in anger. Im left trying to understand and the words you wrote really explain that you cant understand irrational thought or behavior. Any thoughts on how to move forward and let go of the guilt of giving up?

I'm having similar situation :( me and my 6 years bf used to be so happy and so dee in love .. We lived together until last year. Well I know he's having emotional problem when j was with him, he did consult dr but didn't take med as dr told him to.. But things still under control by then until last Fall. He suddenly changed so terribly .. Asked me not to be with him anymore, I asked for discussing but he refused.. He just said he need space. But I know he's facing work pressure and stuff . And one day he moved out without telling me :( I was soooo hurt... Few times we bumped to each other on street, we talked and seemed that we're getting better but then whenever I asked about our relationship, he ignored and told me not to mention... Sometime he would say ' give him sometime ' but sometime when he's under work pressure he told me not to find him anymore . I know he consulted a new dr and diagnosed BP disorder.. He started his med .. I guess more than few months . Two weeks ago we were still ok and had a good birthday dinner ( his birthday ) but after his concert tour ( he's a musician ) he txt me telling that don't find him again and don't even wanna b friend wit me !!!!!. Well I don't know if i should take it persona or becoznof his illness ? I really need advice and help !!!

similar situation.... Me and my 6 years bf are used to b so In love until last Fall.. Well. We on and off and I suffered a lot !!! I don't know how to handle.. Were fine last two weeks but after he came back from business trip he told me not to find him anymore and not even wanna b friends .....its hurt