Bipolar boyfriend breaking up with me every 3/4months- at my

Newbie,

It's interesting, but I don't recall anyone calling themselves "perfect". In fact, all I read were others asking for help with themselves and understanding bipolar. You are the only one that seemed to exalt yourself. Yes....people who are said to be bipolar are often, but not always, creative and intelligent. I've read enough about bipolar to understand that there are many upsetting things that accompanies the disorder....that unfortunately hurt both parties involved. Everything from delusions which can cause paranoid episodes and feelings of loved ones cheating on or hurting you to serious depression and lack of self esteem. As such an incredibly intelligent person as yourself must realize that these feelings can also be the cause of a loved on pulling away or being unsure of her/his relationship. But thank you so much for your narrow minded insight.

In fact Newbie...below is a post that I read online. There are others like it. Hmmm...maybe you aren't as intelligent as you think you are. Or do you have an unrealistic view of yourself (another bipolar symptom)?

I'm a male,25 and was married. I'm bipolar and for whatever hard headed reason, I never felt anything was wrong with me until everything fell apart.<?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" />

Chances are, your boyfriend honestly doesn't know if he loves you or not.

I never knew, my feelings would change in the matter of a very few minutes.

I made a very big mess of my marriage but if my ex-wife wouldn't have walked out, I never would have got the help that I really needed.

Keep in mind that everything your boyfriend does and says is exactly what he is thinking at that moment. It isn't necessarily true, it isn't necessarily the way he is or wants to be.

Judging from my own experience and hard headedness, it may be better if you leave, maybe not forever but for at least until he can fix himself.

Since I've started medication and counseling I've become a better person both inside and out. It may be better if you can pick the relationship back up at a later time.

Hope this helps,

Tommy

 

 

You're an as****e. Get off YOUR high horse. I have dated 2 people with Bipolar Disorder 2. It is not easy at all. I am a highly intelligent, intellectual person and I assume that was the initial draw for both of them to me. Regardless, they both eventually went through these same cycles described in other posts. It doesn't matter how intelligent someone is, if they are dating someone who is Bipolar, it will not be easy, and it is not a reflection on their character when their loved one lashes out. The loved one chose to be with them and kept coming back to them, so there is obviously a draw. Perhaps this is just your excuse because you cannot hold a relationship. You can only learn so much from text books, these girls are coming on here to figure out a moral dilemma; not something a book can fix. We may not know how hard having this disorder is, but you have no idea how hard it is to love someone who has it; even-albeit-a mild case.

To all those who have loved and lost ...
I have posted on this forum a few times. My ex-boyfriend, who suffered from bipolar, was the love of my life. We broke up last year, but I had always hoped we would find our way back to each other. The last person who posted is correct in stating, "We may not know how hard having this disorder is, but you have no idea how hard it is to love someone who has it; even-albeit-a mild case." My ex was the best person in the world, but his mood swings always seemed to wreak havoc in his life. I tried to stay by his side, but he pushed me away ... he thought I could "do better." No matter what I said, he could not trust in our love. I know he loved me because he did not date anyone else after our breakup. He passed away ten months later (December 9, 2011). He was only 48. I tried to contact him on December 15 for the first time since our break-up to re-establish our friendship. I was less than one week to late. I would give anything to have one last conversation with him ... to let him know that I never stopped loving him and that he is still in my heart. The last words he said to me were, "I will always love you, but we just can't be together. I am losing the best thing that has ever happened to me and I can do nothing about it." We certainly had our ups and downs. We dated for a little less than two years. His case was mild and he took medication. Regardless, we could not find a way to make it work. He often said that love does not conquer all and that good things never happen to him. I don't know if he can see what is in my heart, but I pray that he knows my love for him was genuine. Rest in peace Dave.
With all my love ... now and forever,
Karen

Her intelligence has absolutely nothing to do with this. She's upset because her boyfriend keeps breaking up with her. I don't care how brilliant he is because he's bipolar, it still hurts her and she doesn't deserve it. She's doing the best she can and is still trying to stick by him even though the jerk keeps breaking up with her! She is going through all this emotional stress for him and he can't even see a doctor? And this is suppose to be okay because he is SO much more intelligent than us simple minded non-bipolar people? ***this post is edited by moderator *** *** inappropriate posting*** Please read our Terms of Use

This...is hilarious.

I see you are in your "illusions of grandeur" stage..get over yourself
you heed help

Karen I am so sorry to hear about your loss I have been following all these posts religiously as my boyfriend is Bipolar too, 

I am also currentley goin through the same situation!!It is one of the hardest things I hav ever experianced .... 3months in its like the best honeymoon of your life and then a quick flip of the switch ,, and he is gone ,, out to lunch ,, is a better term,, not even himself.... he has repeatedly asked me to leave him alone ,, he wants to be left alone , or random texing that doesnt make much sense at all .. I want to help him but he wont even answer my calls ,, he wont let me see him.. he just wants to be in his dark room,, by my-self , claiming he is a lost soul... I have never cried so much in my life and have fallen in-love with someone who has a disorder,, but I love him , I don't wanna give up,, I wont .. I hav read up alot on my boy friends disorder and understanding it more and more ,,, readin all of your stories its like the same situations to the tee,, glad I am not alone .. I will fight for our love and will hold on... what should I do , just wait for him to call or wait a week and try to contact him ,, I feel so powerless and am so hurt

First I want to say that I appreciate your point of view and the fact that you shared information that can be a bit tender for you. I do want to say that the part about; "If you are not highly intelligent do not attempt to have a relationship with someone that is bipolar " is just simply not true. I know of three individuals who are significant in my, one of which is a relation, and intelligence has nothing to do with it. There are many forms or levels of Bipolar. Bipolars, some, are very artistically gifted, others are not. One thing is common amoung all bipolars and that is their sensativity to feelings. This does not mean that they are not understood. It is hard to tolerate the level and intensity of the mood swings and unbalanced behavior. It is much like a child reacts. Unfortunalty we who are not Bipolar can see perfectly what you are going through and it takes a special person to be able to coexist in a relationship with one who is Bipolar. While I appreciate you sharing of your tender information, realize that some of us do understand and feel for you. That doesn't mean we are able to handle your issues nor should we be held responsible when we cannot or choose, not to.

Well I am just over year 4 with my bi-polar manic depressive bf. He's never been diagnosed, however he claims to be and I definately agree. He has asked for meds for it but they made him flip out more. He's been a cheater, and liar, an abuser and goes through alcholic spurts and screws anything he sees. It has left me so insecure. I am not thin and he says he doesnt care, I am very beautiful or so im constantly told. I dont think I'm a fox but I do look good Im far from obese or anything but IM not perfect like the girls he looks at online or anywhere we go. He doesnt seem to care it hurts me either. He calls me crazy and psycho all the time, and Im the one who gets to deal with it. He's the nut case here, but I get called so many terrible names, I'd take an ass whooping over the names he calls me. He too like so many of the stories above, goes and breaks up with me on a regular basis. He says he just doesnt love me, or he's tired of the fighting (WHICH IS HIS FAULT) he nit picks every little detail of my life like he wants to fight. Im a very kind person I dont fight by nature. I am easily walked on which is why I think he stays with me. For security ONLY. If he loved me why would he cheat? How could he if he loved me? He's got such high highs and low lows and when I call him out on this cause I can see he's starting to drift into a low low....he refuses to try to see what im saying. He just goes off on me and anyone who crosses his path. He's extremely scary to me which is why its so hard to communicate with him. When hes in a normal state of mind, he communitcates and shows loves so well. but then he goes COLD AS ICE...doesnt care what he puts me thru. Usually walks out on me to party or for another woman then after he's created a financial burden on himself not to mention the burdens he left on me when he walked out, then he comes crawling back. Had the sex. Partied all his money away and then THATS WHEN IM GOOD ENOUGH to be with. Why can't I walk away? I too have issues I guess. He wonders why I say he doesnt love me? Gets mad at me, but who does this to those they love? He has no care whatsoever when hes in that state of mind. Even to our son. He doesn't care about anything. He quits his jobs. Barely holds onto one. I want out. I love him like noone else I'e ever loved but im wondering if its just because I want someone I cant have at this point. Once he is gone i finally get peace in my life. Alone or not, I enjoy the peace and all the extra money I have because that too is an issue. He uses pot. So all my money goes to his needs and ours never matter to him. He comes first we dont even come at all. I have to sneak the things we need or he will ask where I got the money. Becaue I have to lie and say we are broke, so I can buy the dog food, cat food an even our food fo rthe week or he will take it all for his drugs... Even when he isnt in the bad mood..we still come last. Why wouldn't he want to be with me??? Wow I just realized why he's with me..He has everything handed to him, doesnt have to pay for his own addictions, doesnt have to hold a job, can screw any woman anytime he wants, and has no responsibility to love me right. I dont make that a must do in order to be with me. Amazing what you can learn from seeing your own words typed out. Time to get rid of him. He's not even attractive to me anymore. All I see in his eyes is that crazy man. Wish me luck. And my son. We willl be going through the unimaginable here soon. I hope I make it out alive. Almost didnt once before. And my son watched it all....I have to leave. I have to. Please god hold my hand and keep me strong.

He's probably not going to change his ways, it will take a act of God to fix the mental promblems that are going on inside his head. You are just a bandaid and not a cure.Make up your mind about what you want in life for the long haul. Stop selling yourself short and try and find a true healthy mate.

I am in a similar situation, except he and I have a child. My fiance (ex) as of now, has done this to me for over four years. Every 3 months he breaks up with me, and then within a month or so wants to get back together. I foolishly have accepted this behavior for the sake of our child, for too long. One moment we are vacationing and the next moment he is unhappy with his life, and he doesn't love me. He switches almost weekly, I started to tell him he needs to seek medical care. He acts very numb to other family members feelings especially his mother, and his grandmother, he treats me the same way. He is very intelligent, and a great father(when he is around) but something is missing in him, it's almost like he has no filter for what he says, does and treats people. Is this bipolar?

I went through the same problem for almost a year and my boyfriend broke up with me. Told me that he no longer is in love with me but that he still loves me. Being in a relationship with a Bipolar person is not that easy, its 1 hell of a roller coaster ride. I'm 1 really understanding person but trying to help someone thats Bipolar can emotionally drain you. We both still live under the same roof together but only as friends.....now that is really hard to do especially when you really love that person. But I would not and wont ever turn my back on him.

I had a bipolar boyfriend as well. Im here crying my eyes out because he broke u with me for the 3rd time saying he isnt in love with me anymore, just for him to come back in a week to tell me he made a huge mistake.

Hey, i've been with my partner for just under 10 months. He's a manic depressive but refuses any help from anyone medical. He says they don't help him as they didn't last time. We argue every 4-5 weeks as he tells me he no longer wants to be with me as he is unhappy and no longer in love with me. We argue. i cry. We talk. We hug and 4 days later he's back in love with me and we're planning our future. I can deal with his mood swings. They don't get easier but you start learning how they go and what you need to say in order to get past certain points in an argument. My mother is also a manic depressive so i've learnt to cope with a form of this for many many years. I believe that he loves me and as he's told me before, he pushes me away as he doesn't want to hurt me. When he is in a 'wobble' as we have named them he tends to verbally attack people. He regrets them later on but he just has moments when he wants to be alone. So we don't see each other for a few days and we give him time to think and pull himself out.

Certain people tend to trigger an episode. One of these people is an ex girlfriend who broke his heart. She comes back into his life about once a year when shes bored of the relationship shes in. she makes him worse but he never seemed to recognise this until her most recent show. We are on a 6 day break now which includes no communication at the moment as she is back and he is having a very bad 'wobble' i'm fearing that if she doesn't leave soon we are no more. i'm a very strong person mentally. i've been through a lot of hardships in my life and whether we break or not i'm still going to be there for him. The hurt i feel is nothing compared to how he would feel if i walked away and left him when he needed me.

You need to understand that no matter how much he pushes you away he still needs you to support him. Hes waiting for you to fight back because he needs that person in his life who he can't push away.

On the other hand if you feel that it could be over it probably is.

Fight for him and let him know you love him only if you're prepared to keep dealing with this. If you're not strong enough to deal with this happening no matter how often, walk away. You need to find what you want before you can help him. If you even have a small doubt in your head he'll find it and he won't trust you again.