Hi everyone first time on here and quit taking 10-15 10 mg Percocet a day as well as 3 20mg OxyContin on Monday. I have tried cold turkey multiple times before but the living hell took me right back to the pills. I was in a car accident 3 years ago when I started these meds and had a disc fusion a year ago followed by a staph infection in my surgical site! So I felt that gave me an excuse to put this c**p in my body in whatever quantity I could get. I have real pain so it's ok right? No I am an addict and it has taken me 3 years to admit it, I like the way I feel when I take them and I need them to feel "normal". Not anymore its been 5 days and though the first 3 nights I felt pretty sick especially that feeling to constantly move your body the first 3 nights but I took Benadryl, Imodium, and unisome which helped a little as well as ibuprofen and Tylenol. I didn't sleep a wink for the first 3 days either but it didn't bother me that much. So why all the previous times was I so miserable but this time I can handle it? Well a little background I am a pharmacist so I should have known better right? Yeah right these things are evil and it breaks my heart to read all these stories of people trying to better themselves by quitting but suffering so much! I have been there believe me, so I lost my job almost a year ago due to my addiction and almost lost our house with 2 little kids I was at rock bottom just a couple months ago. I was required to go to an addiction group to keep my liscence which I thought was pointless I am not addicted its pain and the doc gives me this stuff right? Wrong I am and always will be an addict. anyway my dad started going to this new church we were raised catholic but I haven't been to church in years. So he said his church has this free addiction group and the board approved it so I thought what the heck I am not very religious I mean I believed in god and prayed and that was about it. So the group was pretty small 15-20 people of all walks of life with all kinds of addictions many of them alcohol and drug related at the same time. Some recovered for years, some on their first day some just relapsing after 15 years of sobriety. And I was still taking my meds while going but nobody judged me. After listening and getting to know everyone I began to see how hard of lives these people had worse than me and because of their faith here they were. I had never read the bible and I knew it would take forever so I got this book called The Story and its the story of the bible written like a novel to help understand it. Basically the cliff notes of the bible so as I began to read a transformation took place and I was overcome with the want to quit and if I gave that to god he would help me. So that's what I did and though uncomfortable it has been so easy compared to when I quit in the past and I have no way of explaining it other than I let the spirit of Christ into my body to help me. I am a scientist I am a doctor I would never have believed this could work there has to be some sort of medication or something that helped me right? Nope just the good lord so simple and I have no reason to lie I have been where you all have I have seen and felt the darkness and the excruciating pain and the want to just die and end the pain and suffering! But now there is a light in my life and a peace that I have never known before and I am hopeful and on Moday after a year I was told I could go back to work and our house that is in foreclosure can be made current with my husbands 401k so we won't lose it after all. Good things are happening and I know I will go through trials and tribulations and I may go off path and this addiction may get me again but I have the almighty god with me to Remind me to get back on track. If this gets to even 1 person and makes them think about the good lord and the miracles he can perform then its worth it. I am happy to respond to anyone if you need help don't do it alone, find a church group they are free and most programs accept them as treatment and they will give you a bible read John in the bible and just see what happens, please there is hope stay strong you can do it and you are not alone! God bless you all I will pray for you!
i have degenerative spine ,i have been on fentynal patches for 3 yrs every month i cut up pieces and put them in my mouth wich causes me to run out early every month , i also take xanax b/c the morphine causes me to have panic attacks and be very ill and agressive at times i have a son and i dont want to do this anymore i hate feeling this way , i am sweating and freezing my bones are aching i am sick at my stomach , have diheria not sure i spelled that right sorry i am not thinking so clearly , i am scared , i am depressed , i dont want my family to know what can i do to make it through this without everyone realizing how far i have fallen this past year since ive started putting patch pieces in my mouth , i cant do this another month i am already so sick and my back is hurting , i tried tappering of with loratab but the withdrawls are so bad even that isnt slowing this down .i have ran out of those now last night i didnt sleep at all i took tylenol pm and to no avail plz if anyone has any advice please let me know
Hi,
I'm sorry you're suffering. This is how it happens though, we take MORE than we are suppose too. I recently put myself through a ten day withdrawal. STUPID. I should not have done it without my doc's help. I have spinal issues and the meds work for me. I HATE taking them. Withdrawal is NOT safe for everyone. If you are sick, or if you were prescribed pain for a condition that will worsen or to maintain your ability to function you should NOT feel guilty about doing so.
But I did. I was spiritually horrified when I realized my body was dependent on this medication. My pain was NOT controlled.
I am back on my meds after an er visit and through the roof blood pressure. NO, not from withdrawals as I was ten days out, but from unbearable PAIN in my back, which started all of this in the first place.
I will NEVER go through withdrawal again without my docs notice and consent. there are safer and more comfortable ways to do this. I should have told the doc my pain was not controlled.
I am on the lowest dose of oxycodone at 5 mg, 3x day as needed. I do not take them three times a day. This is a CHOICE for me and I am EXTREMELY mindful of my body now. I lISTEN to it. Am I in pain right now? Or will an aleve do the trick? Yep, aleve. I don't beat the c**p out of myself now if I need to take an oxy.
Secondly, pain is your body's warning that something is WRONG. I have seen so many boards encouraging those with cold turkey and withdrawals to keep going when they are obviously in need of medical HELP, or to stay on their meds and talk to their doctors HONESTLY about it.
Taking medications requires self discipline. I was taking more because I feared my pain was out of control. Well, the truth is I will always have pain as i have chronic pain. Taking MORE made the pain WORSE.
So now, I'm on a low dose, take only when I need it, don't freak out if I do and am finally going to see a surgeon for spine issues that I have. I'm hoping this will also lead to chronic pain alternatives.
Being in pain is dangerous once you've passed the acute phase and it's not normal either, I don't care WHAT anyone says. Many people like me have high blood pressure and that level of pain can KILL you.
I won't take chances with my life anymore. I hope none of you do either, but for the poster above, there is a reason you're eating those rather than sticking to the plan. Figure out what it is and then tell your doctor the truth.
They'll either help you get off safely or adjust your dosages, but don't put yourself through something needless and dangerous.
Peace.
I agree, you really should talk with your doctor.
For the short term you could try Kratom, I do not know if Kratom could help with the WD's from Fentynal patches (I think it would, but have not heard one way or the other) but it may help with the worst of the withdrawals.
With legitimate health issues, like this, it makes it very hard to get off the drugs (I know, as I also have severe back issues) as you can just go to a doctor and get more pills.
Speak with your doctor, tell them what you are going through (if that doc does not listen, go to another one) let them know you are scared and want help (most will listen).
Hang in there!
Heyy Purrp, Georgia...everyone. I'm still on the same pattern as I was when I posted here 3 months ago. I have to cut off my connection if I'm going to succeed. A weekend is not long enough to withdraw and I'm having such a hard time getting kratom. I mean, I can get it if I want to pay crazy money plus the gas to drive an hour to the city and an hour back. It ends up being the same price or a little more than the pills. Still, it helps with withdrawals so it may be worth it in the beginning...since otherwise I'd just be spending that money to keep the full-on addiction going. Money is tight now though.
I have enough pills for probably another week, so I'm going to try and quit while I have the supply. It's something I haven't tried anyways... I could really use someone to act as a sponsor-type, someone I can share my progress with and contact (message or e-mail) when the cravings are bad. Last week, I was doing ok but when my connect was coming, I didn't sleep at all the night before. Then that day I was having the classic devil vs angel on my shoulders argument with myself. I've learned that if I even allow that argument to begin, the devil side wins every time.
I hope you all are doing well!
Hey Crisp, good to hear from you. You can reach out any time, either here on the forum or private message me and I will answer as soon as I can.
As far as Kratom goes, you can order it online fairly cheaply(4 oz for around $50-$70 [3 to 4 weeks supply]. I can give you several vendors I have used that do not rip you off.
If you are going to taper, I would order some now (takes 1-3 days to get in).
Keep us up to date, we are here for you!
Georgia,OMW.....how POWERFUL!!!!!!As tears stream down my cheeks,I dont believe in mistakes you met that "Young Man" in the Airport for YOU and for ME.,Ive been reading this thread since 3pm yesterday afternoon as Ive just been discharged from the hospital for Extreme Back Pain that is accompanied by Nerve Pain in all extremities,My life has been overtaken by the Opiates....started out as relief BUT now cant live without them,My Prescribed scripts are NEVER ever enough....and I think back,HOW IN THE HELL DID THIS HAPPEN TO ME?!?!?!?!!?Do you know how many countless bottles of pills Ive thrown out in the past and NEVER ever shuttered at the idea???WHY NOW????WHY????I did go off of them 2 years ago for almost a year....and it felt like my brain had been altered by the pills,they took something from me...the pain was sometimes debilitating and I was diagnosed with Lupus,Chronic Kidney Stones,2 types of Anemia,Degenerative Disc Disease with Bulging Discs and the list goes on.Im 41 freaking years old and I feel like my life is completely out of control.I mourn my life before pain meds,every single day.You have ALL INSPIRED ME,Josh,Babe,and Georgia,I admire your tenacity,will,and determination.I feel like Ive known each of you my whole life.May each of you find,peace,joy and abundance.Love and Light.
i would seriously forget tramadol.. my partner is currently battling over a 7 year subscribed program , she took 16+ 50mg tramadol, 2 x 350 pregaalin, 16+ 300/50 co-codamol. she halved all back in october and got down to 4 T, 4 CC, and 1 pg a day until jan 18 2013 she took her last prescribed pill.. she been on 1 gram of rso a day since 1st jan which does help not sure how well as she not tried without the hemp oil yet.. 7 days it took for her to hold any food in .. bowel is fine , she putting on weight ,, id say the hemp oil gets her eating more if anything , and numbs her mind, ive had smiles somedays.. but still hot / cold sweats , especially at night.stomache cramps still, and just the inabilty to sleep.id say she getting 3 hours broken sleep per night MAX.. shes is going insane .. .. i even gave her a whole gram of oil one night and that didnt make her sleep .. piss was green in the morning though.. i should have drunk it.. but id been wasted all day .. lol.. just gonna try food and excercise .. she refuses any other meds bar pot! she has MS, cprs, osteperosis , fibromyalgia.. .. TRAMADOL IS THE WORST
Thanks Georgia, but the issue is my wonderful state of Indiana lumping kratom in with the bath salts. It's completely ridiculous! My buddy was having it shipped to his gf's job in Michigan, but she's too paranoid to do that anymore. My only option is to open a PO Box in Illinois I guess.. very frustrating.
I appreciate the offer to reach out too. I'm planning on taking my last bit Friday morning, get me through work that day, then I can get 2 days of clean time out of the way over the weekend. I'm hoping that I can figure this kratom situation out before work comes around again on Monday.
My buddy is taking SAM-E and is feeling better after a few days of being clean, but his addiction isn't as deep as mine. He's only been taking these pills for the last year and a half, while I'm looking at a decade. It's frustrating when he says it's all in my head and I should be fine b/c he's feeling fine...he just doesn't understand that I've built my adult life around taking these pills, and learning to live without them is a much bigger challenge than just not taking them anymore.
Stay strong!!!!! How are you doing today?
I'm so glad you are there to support her!!! How is she??
Hi Everyone!!!! I was so shocked to see the new guests and wish I checked sooner. I will be on top of this. Ya'll are being strong, and thank you for sharing!!! I wish everyone the best, and I know this sh*t sucks, but my best advice is write here, hell yea backin up my boy Georgia on the Kratom. It took a dr. and self will for me, and you all know how I am. I am so sorry have not been on to try and support everyone. My mom has to have surgery and my life has dramatically changed since this. I have moved home for the time being she broke her shoulder socket(there is a name for the bone) and best case scenario is she will have the surgery and have titanium and all that. Things are hectic my life is taking care of her and things she would be doing for she in so much pain cant do ANYTHING!! This has helped me in a really strange way. GEORGIA off subs and not dabbling!!!! If I get a cravings i will take 2mg of sub that has not happened in days. This whole incident with my mom really made me realize what is REALLY important and what is not. She was busy so my schedule crazy on top of watching her 24/7 doing all stuff round house and am sleeping in the room next to my parents. This is something I don't think i have ever done maybe as a child. Life is so strange. Georgia cause of her heart prob will the surgery be okay???? I will know Friday what the Dr. wants to do but he said today Def surgery if he even can. Nothing I can do but be strong do everything and just be positive. I am scared. Ya'll there are bottles of pills three feet away from me and I don't care I care bout my mom and i know doing drugs is not gonna help it is not even a thought. Living as an active user is a c**p way to live, detox sucks, and yea after detoxing you don't necessarily feel good for awhile, but I beg you all please think bout what is really important and it is what you are doing now, the people you love, happiness cannot be synthetic. I tried both ways openly and never when using was the quality of my life better period. Come on we are junkies we end up in jail if lucky, or get found dead(I know sometimes feel like dying but if you really feel that way strongly and are going to act pick up phone now and call for help please) and who really cares. "least they are out of pain" f**k NO WE ARE NOT THE STATISTICS AND WE ARE GOING TO DO THIS TOGETHER AND IF WE f**k UP WE DUST OUR SELVES OFF AND GET RIGHT BACK ON TRACK. We all have each other and only WE know the hell. But there is a way out and I'm sorry to say it is just time and being strong as f**k and realizing YOU WOULD NOT BE HERE IF YOU ARE HAPPY USING!!!!! I care about you all, I know your pain, and just congrats for even finally acting on it. Really Peace and Love and know I'm here and I will be checking daily and keep open tonight. G, miss you and hope you doing great, I believe you prob are!!
Oh NO, yes Kratom will help!! I also suggest Imodium search lopermine (possible spelling error) main ingredient in it. It's fents cousin that does not cross the BBB. WAIT did you stop your xanax?????? you can not ct that you gotta get help wit benzos. I hope you are okay!!! I'll be here......I know it sucks it's just the other side of what the drug dose for some reason us addicts never look at it like this sh*t gnna make me sick no jus numb tht thought too. Stay strong!!! And f**k i wish I got on here earlier please tell me how you doing.
test a word
Purrrpill,I also want to say what an Amazing Ball of Fire and Light you are....when I posted the above post earlier I hadnt read past where you had chimed in with your story and fight for life.You and all of the others are an Inspiration to a rapidly growing epidemic that is suffocating so MANY SUFFERING Sometimes Innocent People who believe in Their Health Care Providers to give them the BEST POSSIBLE RELIEF from Life Altering Dibiltating Pain.....now I know WE do have a CHOICE...however with that being said (and I swear I am NOT playing Victim here) when you are in pain (Im not talking a 2 on the pain scale) Im talking giving birth to f*****g kidney stones every other month with extreme renal cholic that would make delivering a 15lb baby a cake walk,Im talking waking up in the middle of the night in screaming out in terror because I thought someone had set me on fire and was cutting me into pieces (it took my Husband to get to a light and turn it on so I could see my body) Im talking electric shocks that radiate from my spine out into my extremities that makes me pass out,I feel like Im being stabbed with pins and needles and my hands and legs feel like they are going to pop.....I think yall get the point........and you have children,a Husband, and a Career(20 YEAR HAIRSTLIST that I miss so much,tears) and you ask your DR for help and believe in him and his expertiese in HIS OR HER SPECIALIZED MEDICAL FIELD(I have 6 total DRS) and they give you f*****g HIGHLY ADDICTIVE PAIN RELIEF,even though I was told it was not addictive at all (TRAMADOL) (which Im not going to lie) it WORKED for a few months and I felt relief was able to work,be a Mom and Wife and then one day My truck broke down onside of the road as I was driving home with some furniture I had purchased about an hr away from home and it took a while for the Wrecker to get there luckily I had a friend with me and I started to feel heaviness in my chest and started to sweat and I told my friend ,listen I dont feel right something is wrong I cant breath,my heart was racing and I felt like I was really going to die...I couldnt think straight and she said maybe just stress from the truck...and then it got so bad I had what was (and didnt know this at the time) a panic attack...it was one of the most frightening things Ive ever experienced....and she said to me do you have anxiety and I said NO NEVER ever have and then I looked at the clock and remembered I hadnt taken my medicine I had called for refill but NEVER picked it up,by the time I got back to town Pharmacy closed,I thought No big deal Ill be alright..HOLY sh*t that NIGHT was LIVING HELL it was horrible,I called my friend the next day and told her what (I THOUGHT) was going on and she came over to offer me some Reiki while her Hubby worked on my truck(my hubby was deployed) and holy sh*t before I knew it I looked at the clock and looked at my friend and the tears spilled from my eyes..I DIDNT GO TO the Pharmacy and it was Sunday and they closed at 3 so I LIVED THROUGH ANOTHER HELLISH NIGHT....I called my DR the next day and said I want of this sh*t and told him what happened and he told me I was CRAZY that anything can be addictive even Tylenol and tried to give me anti depressants....well he did and I got home looked them up and sure enough they too had withdrawals (EFFEXOR) I wasnt depressed I was in pain!!!! Anyways that was 4 years ago and the start of a very hellish roller coaster ride....The quality of my life has literally hit rock bottom..I surrendered to DEATH last year...when you are NOT scared to die anymore you really kind of just surrender to all,I thought if this is the way its gonna be what a f*****g joke. And why? Why ME?!?!? Have I not experienced enough pain in my life growing up with sexual,emotional and physical abuse?(I know victim) sorry.I help people all of the time,I give and give and give and give...why ME? SO over the past 3 years..I went from Tramadol (got off it) then started getting Chronic kidney stones) so Percocet on and off for a year and half then just kept getting sicker and sicker with more and more diagnosis so about a month ago I start getting this new Nerve Pain...and was already on Oxycontin 2, 20 mg a day, and 3 10 mg oxycodone hcl for BT pain, it didnt even come close to touching this new pain...so I took more...and then the pain become so overwhelming Ive been in the hospital 5 times in the last month admitted the last time in for extensive tests which was last Monday,I was OUT of pain meds because of the extreme pain and taking more but the hospital gave me some 7.5 percs until I got to New Pain Management DR TODAY (he was closer) not an hour away drive...well let me just tell you what that Bastard did....he looked at all of my notes talked to My Husband and I and then said well I cant help you.....and I said what????He said you have taken too much medicine in the last week(let me just tell you the too much was 7 pills total too much) and Im not giving you any Narcotics...and it took every ounce of strength I had in me to not f*****g get up and attack him...I said what am I going to do?How am I going to function,this is going to kill me..he said well Ill give you something for Imflammation and a patch...and I said you know what????I f*****g come in here and I tell you the truth..I tell you THE TRUTH when I know countless people that go in there every f*****g 3 weeks get their meds and sell them to supplement their income...and Im being punished by telling you I took 7 pills too much? ARE YOU f*****g KIDDING ME RIGHT NOW?!?!?!?So I took his scripts hobbled to my car tears spilling from my eyes because NOW Im looked at as an addict and I dont know what Im going to do....so as I sit in the parking lot grab my phone and look u the meds he gave me and one of them are BUTRANS PATCHES...and there are WARNINGS every where about them and the Withdrawals (as I do NOT believe and will NEVER EVER SETTLE FOR A LIFE ON PAIN MEDS) so I get out of my car and go back in and ask to speak to the Nurse and I said as I pointed to the script is this a Narcotic or Opiate and is it addictive and how about withdrawals,and she says NO MAAM ITS NOT A NARCOTIC it is an ANTIInflammatory Patch.And I said ok and left....well let me just tell you by the time I got home (DID NOT GO TO THE PHARMACY) I was in extreme pain and withdrawls and went straight to my bed I was so weak....grabbed my laptop and I CANNOT BELIEVE the sh*t I am reading on here about that medicine...basically it is Suboxone.....Listen I KNOW THIS IS LOOOOOOOONG AND I AM SO SORRY BUT I FEEL LIKE MY LIFE HAS BEEN ALTERED AND IS BEING CONTROLLED BY MEDICINE...I BELIEVE IN HOLISTIC SPIRITUAL ALTERNATIVE THERAPIES....MY GAWD IM A REIKI PRACTITIONER (havent done much lately) and Im ashamed to say I can help others all of the time but CANT HELP MYSELF....I really think you all are AMAZING...and I AM SO VERY VERY VERY PROUD of each of you..Ive been through it twice already....and I believe there is a shift going on in our world and our minds....and like I said earlier I will NEVER SETTLE FOR LIFE ON PAIN MEDS....and sometimes (even though Ive been through it) to hear I am not alone and it can be done even with pain is Inspiring to me.I think the whole pain med c**p is a SCAM..I believe that want us addicted and all for the good ole $$$$$S I believe our food is making us sick but I do believe things are shifting and in the right direction....and I thank YOU ALL SO MUCH for sharing your CORAGEOUS SUCCESS STORIES...and whether you fell of the wagon or not I dont believe in Failure for if you FAIL (its the END) right?Much Love,Light and Blessings to you all. For if we could see ourselves through God/ Creator's eyes we would see we ARE REALLY NOT BROKEN our MIND or EGO makes us believe we are.And all PAIN really IS ,IS ANGER that hasnt been dealt with.XOXOXO PS: I know this is about Kratom but this is the first thread that Ive felt really connected to. Sorry if I rambled to much.