How do I overcome the feeling I am ugly?

recently i juz hv the same feeling as yours..
i feel sick looking myself in the mirror..
i used to think i look okay in the pasy, but now, i feel so uglyyyyyy
i juz dun know wt to do to get rid of this feeling..
also, hving problem on language make me more sick..
i cant express myself that much due to language problems..
but sometimes i comfort myself i m fine, already better than many others..
its complex, sometimes i feel dis way, sometimes i feel the other way..

hey everyone i'm a fourteen year old girl and i have that problem too. it's brought along mostly by this girl who i consider one of my best friends.
she's super super egoistic about her looks even though she can't be called that gorgeous. she's quite good looking but not like movie-starish if you get what i mean? she's a really good friend though. but she has this habit of analyzing people. like once when we were in assembly in school she was like "ooh -insertnamehere- you know, your nose and lips look very nice. but your eyes are super ugly. and your smile is just awful." that sort of thing. she once ostracized this girl just because that particular girl is very dark. she also thinks that she's very great because she has a slim figure. she loves complaining about her nonexistent fats and then smiling at me. i just can't stand it anymore. i feel like clawing at my face and hers too. tell me, what should i do!?!?!?

I wouldn't worry too much. People who are insecure like to criticize others... If your friend is constantly telling you how pretty she is, it's probably because she secretly feels she's ugly. By pointing out the flaws of others, she's really telling you what she doesn't like about herself.

It's sort of like this... if you see a certain flaw in yourself and you see the same flaw in someone else, you're more likely to be hostile toward that other person.

This reply is for the one that is concerned they are ugly becuase of the thier weight.

First of all I want to say that we live in a society that focus's on outter beauty way to much. People often see someone who is not looking like a twig or the model status body and calls them ugly or even dismisses them all together.

Personally I think that thicker people are better looking. They look healthy and most of the time have very pretty faces. People never notice becuase they are to busy being jerks and superficial idiots.

In my own life I have seen many heavy wemon that I would trade my perfect body for their perfect face any day of the year.

People should not judge anyone based on what a persons weight. That is stupid. Most people have no real control over that and it is matabolism or sometimes even gland problems and not that they at to much ice cream as everyone thinks.

I am really pissed of when I hear about people making fun of "fat people" It is so rediculous. If you are heavy and you think you are ugly. Can I just tell you that you "think" your ugly but you are not. Not at all.

Weight does not make anyone ugly. Not in my eyes and there are more pople out there that feel the same way.

YOu are a beautiful and unique person the way you are and if you feel like you want to tone up or lose weight for health reason then I am supportive but if you feel like you want to jump off a cliff becuase you are heavier then other people. Then dont! Dont do that! and dont feel that way!

Other people that make you feel that way are the ones who are stupid and missing out on a precous gem of a person that you are and no cellulite or fat or any thing else on the outside is going to make you less of a person then me or anyone else.

So just know that there is someone else in this world that thinks you are totally worth it the way you are and she dont even know you!!!

My mom,aunts,uncles,dad, and most of my family are "fat" over 200+ pounds and me and my sis happen to be the skinny ones.lol "twigs" I have always thought that heavy is beautiful...because it is!

I am 18 years old and I know how it feels to think you're ugly. I used to think I was ugly all the time right from when I was 12 until 18. I am now starting to see that I'm not as ugly as I originally thought. I have started university and I have met new people who didnt know me the whole way through high school so I can make a fresh start. When I was in high school I had very spotty, oily skin for years and my hair was always frizzy because i didnt know how to handle curly hair so obviously my confidence was low. In my last year I decided to get a chemical straightener put into my hair which relaxed the curls and made it easier to straighten everyday and thats where i gradually began to see myself differently. Now I know how to handle curly hair so i have left the chemical straightener grow out so that i have the option of curly or straight;) (for any girls with hard to manage curly hair: once you've washed your hair don't blow dry it, instead wrap it in a towel for a few minutes but not until its dry just damp. Next get ORDINARY herbal essences conditioner not leave in conditioner and apply it to your hair but not too close to the roots. Make sure you put alot on your hair and brush it through, you will know how much to put in after practicing a few times and leave to dry naturally. It doesnt take too long to dry in warm places like france or germany..i don't know about the US. Trust me this works a miracle!) You have to do something about how you look to change how you feel. Even going to the gym for an hour would make you feel good. I still look at photos and wish I looked different sometimes but not half as much as before. I also have never had a bf because I never liked any of the guys that asked me out in the past or I was too shy to say yes. But that doesnt bother me at all nor do i think its got anything to do with my looks, i think its my lack of confidence. Goodluck;)

I found these posts really helpful, i myself have had a really up and down experience of feeling ugly or good about myself. Since i was young i have always obsessed over my hair and i think it's because it's the only thing you can change about yourself without surgery etc. For the past 2-3 years now i have been completely obsessed with looking in mirrors and obsessing over what i look like. Some days i'd feel okay others i would completely deteste myself. I wished i never cared about what i looked like to be honest. Everything i try seems to fail and although people tell me im good looking i accept the compliment but in the back of my mind deny it and keep my own judgement of myself.

I have also now been working out and jogging and trying to eat well all just for appearance :|? I think this is silly and wish a person wasn't portrayed just for their looks.

Reading everyones posts here i can relate to and i just hope things look up, or as we get older more important things rise to mind other than looks ;\.

I am 17 and i have never had a BF before,
i think its because i am ugly, my mates (girls) say im not, but no boy has ever said i look nice or that i am pretty so i must be ugly, i always feel down when i see people together wishing i could have something like that but i think i never will
wat can i do??

I'm 16 and I feel ugly as well. I've never had a gf and something makes me think that people laugh at me behind my back. I'm also not that slim and have really low self-confidence. Now I'm at this junior college and there's this girl.. we're just friends but we both have the same likings more or less and I'm really starting to like her but she, like everyone else, doesn't seem interested in me, what can i do? I feel like I love her, recently I'm barely eating lately and can't sleep or concentrate during lessons. There's also another thing, I normally leave msn logged in on my comp, and once my sister came in and wrote "I love you" to this girl when I wasn't there. Then this girl said like are you serious? and i said what? cos i didn't know what my sister had done. Then I explained to her what happened and she said. "Don't worry about it, the important thing is that you didn't say it yourself" and i took that like she means that shes not interested in me.. So I'm all the time feeling really depressed and all of a sudden i feel so happy for no reason, but this just lasts for like a minute or so... Sometimes I feel that life isn't worth living if I'm never gonna be with her, problems at home don't help either... But then I say, what if she actually is interested, I would not be able to be with her in that case. And at the back of my mind all i want is for her to be happy, but if that means she wont be with me, then life isn't worth it. And the only thing that's keeping me alive is just the sight of her face, she's just so beautiful, which is another reason why i feel i will never be with me, because i feel its unfair for me to have a pretty girl and shes stuck with someone as ugly as me. And i dont want to talk to her about it because i wouldn't want her to like sympathise me and like say what she doesn't mean, because all i really want is for her to be happy. somebody help me please :'( :'(

I'm going to be sixteen in less then a month and recently, even though i used to love myself, i have been hating my self to the point that i won't even look in mirrors(something i used to love). It wasn't like i woke up one day thinking like this, its been a slippery slope process. My BFF has had a couple boyfriends now and i have not even been sure i have been i love. I mean until recently i didn't even really talk to boys. To me, boys are totally strange and alien creatures. But my friend is always hanging out with guys and they are really fun and sweet. But like half of them are in love with my best friend so i tend to think that they must think that i am just not as good looking. And that declined into me feeling that i am ugly and fat. So i now am feeling that i am completely behind everyone my age in the whole love process and that i am ugly.
I really try not to think like that though becuse it is weak and whiney. So in the end i just feel horrible about feeling horrible and just kinda want to hurry up and fall in love and become flirty and go on fun dates with a boy i love.

Guys, I feel the same way as everyone here and I came on here to tell of my story but then I looked at everyone else's story and realized I'm not alone in this and it makes me feel soooo much better. I guess this is all just a part of growing up. None of us are ugly at all, the one thing that makes us put out that way in society is most likely are like of good self confiedence. I'd just like to thanks though, even though you are seeking help for yourselves as I am also, you've helped me out alot here so...Thanks :-D

I am now mid-twenties and I have been ugly my entire life. I would like to say firstly that things don’t get better as you get older, actually I think they get worse because everyone gets married and the feeling of loneliness and separation gets worse as your friends become less available.

I have studied appearance and its impact on relationships during my completion of a degree in Psychology and what became readily apparent is that appearance does play a significant role in relationships because we are genetically hard-wired to think in that way. Appearance is in large part determined by genetics, and not by gyms or beauty spas as is asserted by previous posts, and that there are objective measures of appearance (there is general agreement on the characteristics which make a person attractive and unattractive) which mean that if one person finds you unattractive it is likely most will. For example it has been found that people find symmetrical faces more attractive then asymmetrical faces. Further operant conditioning tells us that those that have not received positive reinforcement for their appearance are unlikely to be confident in social/dating situations, and this will be expressed via involuntary cues like body language and basic nervousness. Therefore, it is unlikely to be effective to tell someone to be confident, and it is unlikely that you will be able to realistically appear confident if you haven’t had that level of positive reinforcement. These two issues make it unlikely that people who are ugly will be successful in relationships on the balance. Women I have got only really well with have told me that I was great but I just wasn’t attractive enough so I have personal experience of this.

The point I am getting to is that it might be useful, if you are really ugly, to look for other things to take the place of a partner. I keep myself busy by expanding my learning, and working in politics. I’m not saying that I’m not lonely a lot, especially when everyone seems to be partnered up, but it helps.

I know this is quite a hard message, but I just don’t want people to get your hopes up when there’s hard science out there which tells us the opposite to what other people are asserting (without any scientific basis). I do recommend plastic surgery though as it will impact both confidence and appearance…start saving.

You know what is worse than being ugly?
Have a think for a while......... they say, no matter what position you are in there is always somebody worse off than you.
Well ugly people, there are a subset of people that would probably want to trade places with you.

Have you heard the saying "It is what's on the inside that counts"........
What if your insides is riddled with disease, and consequently, when people look at you all they can see is your very sick.

The level of attraction between the opposite sex towards myself has been like a Inter-mittent, when I hit my late teens, I don't know what happened, but, every cute or sexy female I was in to, was in to me.

......but, I knew something they didn't know, all sort of things were going wrong with me, and I just knew it wouldn't be long before this would start to reflect on my looks......Kinda makes you apprehensive.

Anyway, 4 years on, what is wrong with me is killing me softly so I 'll be around for a while, but, I look very sick, and you see the concern in peoples facial expression when they are talking to you.
I hate that facial expression.

At least ugly people can be healthy.
Man, I wish I was healthy.

Let me throw out a question. If you felt like the ugliest thing on the planet, and the most handsome/Prettiest person started pursuing you what would you do?

here are too many negativities ...
guys, we need to be positive!!!

the guy above me is right.. i so agree with u..
recently i saw a guy on the street who is around 20s having a half face destroyed.. i was shocked when i saw him..
i dun no if i should keep looking at him cuz it might be mean and rude to him..so i didn't..but i still rmb the other side of his face is beautiful..
if he doesn't have such a flaw on the half face, i m sure he would be a hottie..(hes also very tall,slim, juz like a model)

so.. y do we still keep complaining ? i mean, maybe we don't look pretty, but we at least got a normal face..not destroyed.
we can already do many things..like talk, walk..
many ppl cant even do that..
if u feel bortherd bcuz u cant find a gf/bf, then think abt those disabilities,
i guess their chances of getting a gf/bf are way less than us..
stop complaining at what we've gotten..
y don't try to think in another way? i know how its feel of being unattractive..but we still got to live ..
:) :)
be positive!!!!
ps:sorry if my eng is hard to understand, i m not a natural eng speaker

i want to see how u look, you probably dont look bad at all.

yea i so agree with u strupp..im soo freakin ugly that no one ever look at me n they all make fun of me.
ma gf sae im gd lookin but y ppl treat me like this???
am i that ugly? HELP