How do I overcome the feeling I am ugly?

Girls that take your boyfriend are not friends and are people you should avoid. It's not worth having a un-loyal friend or boyfriend it is a waste of your time.

Hey everyone,

I read all your stories of insecurities and self doubt in your teens and I felt compelled to comment. I'm a young woman who recently turned 23 and felt that I should share my story of my personal transformation. I apologize for the length of my comment but I truly believe that it will shed a new light on your problems and help you put things into perspective. I wish that someone could have told me this when I was younger. Please bear with me here.

Let me preface by saying that I don't believe I'm naturally pretty by any means. I was never pretty growing up and I do need help to look good! I have a bump on my somewhat large nose and pimples, not to mention a wide face. Because of this, I felt really ugly and invisible throughout my highschool years. On top of this, I felt fat (even though I only weighed 125 lbs at 5'5) through highschool and always wore baggy black clothes. I grew up wishing I looked like Beyonce, britney spears, mandy moore and what other pretty girl du jour. I had horrible self confidence and felt like everyone was always talking about my looks, and tried to stay quiet and hid away in the library (!!). Because of my lack of confidence and social life, I tended to focus on my academics and my inner beauty. I always did really well in school and truly have a good heart.

However, my looks also began to blossom in my second year in university. I grew my short hair long and started wearing makeup. I learned to use mascara and eyeliner to accentuate my eyes. I lost 5 lbs and began to wear more revealing and fashionable clothes and high heels. And what's truly amazing is that, after these minor tweaks, people now think I'm gorgeous. Noticing this change in reception, I began to come out of my shell and have become quite social in the recent years. I have no shortage of men approaching me on the street and asking me out, and get compliments about my appearance from friends and acquainances all the time, who all believe I'm very pretty. I'm often the subject of envy because people believe I have it all: beauty, brains, a great personality and a great body.

The point of my story is not to brag but to communicate to you that physical attractiveness is quite easy to attain with the right efforts. I'm not sure if you realize at your age, but there are many people in the world who are considered very attractive/good looking but may not have naturally pretty faces (or pretty faces at all for that matter). Think about celebrities - I'm sure you've seen candid pictures of them sans makeup and glitz in their daily life. For girls, grow your hair long, dye it, curl it, straigten it, cut it do whatever you feel will best accentuate your face. Makeup really work wonders if you know how to use it to bring out your best features (youtube tutorials are great!). If you feel fat, lose weight in a healthy way that will also bring out your natural radiance and confidence. See a dermatologist if pimples are a problem for you. Nice clothes that suit your body type can also make a world of difference. Same thing applies for guys. Work out, get a hair cut that suits you, clothes that fit your body , etc. It's really true that anyone can look more attractive.

HOWEVER, the more important thing that I wanted to stress here was that inner beauty and education really are more important to your self worth. I know you're probably too young to believe this (when I was your age I didn't believe it either), but it is true and you will see in time :-) . Beauty really is only skin deep and can always be enhanced quite easily (as my story attests to), and WILL fade with due time as we get old. (yes even the hot girl at your school who everyone is jealous of will get old and ugly one day). But your real substance (your intelligence, education and your personality) are what really define you and hard to build AND hard to erode. Thanks to my good educational foundation and work ethics, I was able to get mostly 4.0s in university and will be attending medical school next year. People often joke that I'm going to be "one finnee doctor"(lol) and can't believe my grades when I tell them (people usually associate good looking with dumb). Another thing I often get from guys is that I'm "not just any other pretty girl" - they feel like I have more substance, am more humble, caring , compassionate and treat everyone kindly. I do believe I have those attributes, which were borne out of my "ugly duckling " years because I never had people pumping up my arrogance (since I was pretty much invisible :-D ) and understand what it feels like to be ridiculed and disrespected.

so PLEASE, work on your inner self- don't obsess over your outward appearance too much. Physical beauty will come! On the other hand, you need a good educational foundation and personality and you need to build it now! I'm going to a well-off and successful doctor, not to mention an attractive woman with a good heart. I relish all of this.

Oh and trust me, I have LOOONNG since stopped envying the "hot girl" from my highschool - wouldn't trade my place anyday! :-P
I hope my life story has opened your eyes. Study hard, be a kind person and then work on your appearance :-)

Hello, ok first off...you think you're ugly, correct? Where do I start? Ok, we'll start with this: looks aren't everything. Besides, why would you want to be "Hot" or "pretty" if you can't even have it for the rest of your life. It's like working really hard to make enough money to rent a car. You may have worked hard for it, but you only have a small amount of time to have. I'd much rather be the ugliest girl in the world, but smart. Then the sexiest girl in the world, but as smart as a rock. Looks won't get you a degree in college. You have to earn it. A lot of girls who are pretty, aren't very smart. Because they spend all day trying to make themselves look good for you. And "hot" or "sexy" girls, usually have an ugly personality. Same goes for guys. This world is so superficial and shallow. And everyone wants to be "hot" and attractive. I honestly, don't care about my looks whatsoever. I brush my hair in the morning, take a shower, and brush my teeth. I get dressed and go to school. I don't put my hair up all nice and fancy, I don't wear make up, I don't make myself look like a complete hooker. I love me for who I am. And if you don't like the way I look, you can go to hell. Love life, love yourself, love others. Love is the strongest power. Don't look in the mirror and say "I'm ugly" look in the mirror and say "You look fantastic today". It's all about how you think you look. Self confidence goes a long way. I hope I helped. Have a good day. And good luck. :-D


-12 year old girl with Social Anxiety Disorder. :-)

:D all of yall are ugly..me on the other hand i look like channing tatum but black which means i look like trey songz.

:-D hi! i can really relate to you guys,, I am 21 years old nursing student,, In my own perception,i am cute and beautiful,, at least more than a hundred have told me that, nonetheless when i overheard my high school classmate told me that i am only intelligent but not pretty.. i was tooo upset,,i kept thinking of it all the time , feelling that i was ugly ..nonetheless i was able to overcome it because people whom i encounter says that i am pretty...in fact, sometimes when i pass by the street going back to our home, some guys used to talk to me or at least try to get my attention,,, but when i joined a pageant during my college years, lots of my classmates were struck because they couldn't believe that i will be joining a pageant,, well, to tell you exactly guys, , i am somewhat weird during my first year and second year college because i used to be timid and shy... i also used to wear eyeglasses, .luckily i won the pageant,, i think mostly because of question and answer....then one of classmates told me that he overheard a gay saying that i should'not had won the pageant because i am not pretty,,,, then afterthat, it is nothing for me because i know that a candidate there in the pageant is much more pretty than me...then everytime i look at my pictures on fb and the mirror, i came to a realization that, why those 2 people are telling me that i am not pretty, but what i see in the mirror is a pretty face,, I do not know whom i am going to believe,, now even though lots of people are telling me that i am pretty,,, i am still considering myself as ugly because of those 2 people ,,it interferes with my socialization ,,,anyone help me please,,, i do not know whether i am pretty or not

i am ugly too and really hate it but its the inside that counts some girls like me like funny guys so you shouldnt give up.

my name is natalie sanchez. i think im the prettiest person alive, and i think everyone else is ugly.. let me tell you an inspiring story.. when i go to the dentist they tell me my teeth are really white? are yours? think about that the next time you go to bed without flossing..

amg ! ! ! if i saw a picture of u i wouldnt say u were ugly#$ (honestley) i dont believe people can be ugly!

i used to think i was ugly...when i waz like 10 and 11..im 12 now (goin on 13 X[) i think i look awesom now... ;-) :-|

trust me!@ every one is perfect the way they are...to overcome this feeling...hmm. :-P :| hmm...you probley have a worst enemy or somthing that looks so much better than u..rite..? so... look at wat they do..like how they dress and stuff..im not telling you to change urself..but y know... :-D :$

Look people have different perceptions of everyone. Just because one person thinks your ugly doesnt mean the next one will. Dont worry about being ugly because someone will think your beautiful just the way you are. God made you the way you are for a reason. You will never truly find out how everyone feels because simply everyone has different opinions. You make think someone is beautiful and gorgeous as hell, but just like you someone is gonna think they are ugly. So dont worry about looks. Live your life and be happy with who you are.

i consider myself to be the ugliest person alive i hate looking into a mirrow some times i wish that i were dead because i dont want any one to look at me how can i over come this but then again it is what it is you cant change ugly

I'm a teen model, I always get told how skinny I am and that people would love to look like me. Yet I feel fat, I know I shouldn't and I feel bad for feeling this way as I know that I have a good life. But I have always been bullied about my weight, I had an eating disorder at the age of 9, and was bullied for being skinny, then when I finally did put weight on I always felt fat. I do feel fat, and I want to diet, but I don't want to go back to how I was before. My family always comment on my weight and how I eat, saying I should eat less/ more of this and that, and that I need to lose/ gain weight etc. But I have very low self esteem, and feel that everyone see's me as fat and ugly. At first the modelling helped my confidence, but know I feel under pressure to look a certain way (and act a certain way, everybody is telling me to love myself, but how can I when I don't like the way I look?). I truly understand how you feel, and I would most certainly say that beauty comes from with in, I know that when you meet that right person they will see you for your personality and values and not just your looks, and they will understand you. I feel this is the same for your friends also, however I feel that my friends often just use me. I almost have this feeling that I need to escape my body and be free from all of this nonsense...
I think the best way to cope with this is to just find a hobby or intrest of which you are completley satsified with (mine is horse-riding) whenever I am stressed either because of exams or because of someones comments towards me, I just go for a ride. When I ride I go into a world of my own, I forget all of my worries and concentrate on my goals as a rider, e.g. how I would like to improve my next dressage test scores etc. It doesn't have to be horse riding it could be anything that suits you... I know my brother is more intrested in dirt biking and off roading and uses this to let off some steam. But it could be anything even painting or writing a song to express your feelings. I often write my feelings down just to get them off of my chest when I feel I have no one to talk to.
I hope I have been of help to you, as it really isn't about what you look like at all... I truly feel that modelling and self appearance will not be a permanent path for me to take in life. I feel I would be best suited to doing something of which involved my intelligence as well as allowing me to play a proactive role in helping people in their lives. I believe this will either lead me into primary school teaching, and preventing young children from being treated the way I was and having a good, educational start to life, or possibly politics.

I don't know what you guys are talking about cause I'm freaking handsome. (I really am, people tell me all the time) But I've never had a gf (I'm 19) and I'm chasing girls all the time.. Don't worry about it that much, it's mostly how you act + not being superugly
SO: act like a 'fun person' + work out and stuff so your not superugly. THATS ALL FOLKS.

In the duration of two days, 3 ppl have told me that i am VERY ugly, Idk why lol I think i look pretty good though i need to get my hair in order a bit. :-)

In the duration of two days, 3 different ppl have told me that i am VERY ugly, Idk why lol I think i look pretty good though i need to get my hair in order a bit. :-)

Ive been told that i have the potentials to be a model....but because my self-esteem is so low i dont believe anyone i dont trust anyone enough....insted i mope and cry feeling bad for myself....you dont want to end up like that....fill your life with positive things with postive people.....you shouldnt have to change who you are to feel better about yourself....its really all from within.....just know your not alone