You know how we talked about premenopause before!? This sounds like it! If you ahve always been pretty normal with your periods then all of a sudden are starting to cramp and loose a lot of blood or it is lumpy, this is a sign of premenopause that can actually last for upto 10 years! Of course MOST women get checked out for this, but I DO remember who I'm giving advice to!! ;-) And I know you wont, same as getting an allergy test! I know you wont ask for one!! because just like the millions of people who suffer terribly from Allergies - they NEVER get help, and suffer 24/7!!!!!!!!!!!! NOT!!!! :-S
Is it not just stress? Stomach has been bad the last few days!
ex wouldnt let me on the pc yesterday. i wanted to do my essay-and he played Batman all night , like a child. I got really upset-there was no way hed get off it and let me on! Grrr!
Then I turned up for work far too early, (tut-should have taken my flute, should have got some busking done!)
Right better go and optimise my options.
Feeling a bit low ( to say the least and feeling like I cant do anything!
How are you ( apart from being annoyed at me for not annoying my doctor?
ex wouldnt let me on the pc yesterday. i wanted to do my essay-and he played Batman all night , like a child. I got really upset-there was no way hed get off it and let me on! Grrr!
Then I turned up for work far too early, (tut-should have taken my flute, should have got some busking done!)
Right better go and optimise my options.
Feeling a bit low ( to say the least and feeling like I cant do anything!
How are you ( apart from being annoyed at me for not annoying my doctor?
I would feel better, if you helped yourself and asked the doctor to thouroughly check you out! Stress can cause periods to stop, but not usually be so bad! NOT to say this isn't behind your upset stomach, but so can allergies AND ovarian cysts too! And you stated that Ovarian Cysts are in the family so I think you should get checked out! Like I have said to you before Katy, write it down, you don't have to write EVERY little thing, but if you say "painful, upset stomach, diareha, nausea, vomiting, pain, sniffles, headaches etc," Then they can go from there ESPECIALLY the itchiness!
Hi Dawn-youve not said HOW YOU ARE/ how are you?
My period stopped suddenly, Ive written 1500 and more words on my essay ( although quoted loads) and not got to any point yet!)
I dont know, my sides niggling me, and sometimes its a real strong pain-well not that bed -not really, but if it got worse id be crying. I do think I may just have a sticky bowel as Ive not been drinking enough water-that might help!
Its funny-its a real switch off from family life, trying to get back into things-and im so behind. I dont even knkow how to use the library and to tell the truth I feel really intimidated by it all. (Though theres this elderly glaswegian Jannie) and he looks at me like -I know you -you dont knkow this place o.O but it makes me giggle-and its so pleasant to se a caring face.
I cant make my drinks nurse appointment on Monday-please remind me to ring them before I get a notice of no show, Ive a staff meeting in the evening and hes working so he cant take the girls to Brownies and rainbows-and Im not going to let them miss out. they are getting all excited about christams-Im dreading christmas-it gets so emotional and so stressful.Yet, at the same time I love it.
it amazes me, to find that the drinkers amongst us more so than the religious category.I dont think this right. I think Catholics think Ive god on my side , so dont reporrt. I know many woman a catholic and distill it on their husbands who all seem to become domesticated and religious-what kind of man is this? Then secondly theres that-ive never ever seen that in the sense I am not religious. When and if I am luckily enough to be cremated ( ire cjkon by the tim ethis generation run out theyll be no such thing except a balck bag and burning-well Ive no pention plan - I cant even im agine liivng that long-not sure I want to even aim that far ahead even though you cant make tim estand still-not unless something really negative has happend ( cause thats how it has felt for years-time has stood still , yet ive got fatter uglier and more scars and wrinkles). Then, and I know things will just change ( if I live that long- they tend to) but I cant stnad the thought of loosing my parents, and accepting there age my own age is difficult enough.Ive just not moved as things have progressed. I know his dad hasnt got long to go and it frightens me. I know this sounds really really selfish and I know his death will hurt the children, but i dont want to be around him when this happens. i really dont.
ve more than one unselfish reason for saying this, and I dread it-but know its not so far off. Though who knnows sometimes people live well into their 90s and no ne can tell really-can they?
Anyway, on that bitter note, im going now. God Im just a b***h!!! Dont get me wrong I actually am really fond of his dad, but hmmm-thinking about it-maybe my life wouldnt be so bad if hed thought ( alone) about his wown actions. My head is thumping and now I feel like a right old cow-hope no one finds me here, hope your okk, I dont really think I am -but hey we are all different.
My period stopped suddenly, Ive written 1500 and more words on my essay ( although quoted loads) and not got to any point yet!)
I dont know, my sides niggling me, and sometimes its a real strong pain-well not that bed -not really, but if it got worse id be crying. I do think I may just have a sticky bowel as Ive not been drinking enough water-that might help!
Its funny-its a real switch off from family life, trying to get back into things-and im so behind. I dont even knkow how to use the library and to tell the truth I feel really intimidated by it all. (Though theres this elderly glaswegian Jannie) and he looks at me like -I know you -you dont knkow this place o.O but it makes me giggle-and its so pleasant to se a caring face.
I cant make my drinks nurse appointment on Monday-please remind me to ring them before I get a notice of no show, Ive a staff meeting in the evening and hes working so he cant take the girls to Brownies and rainbows-and Im not going to let them miss out. they are getting all excited about christams-Im dreading christmas-it gets so emotional and so stressful.Yet, at the same time I love it.
it amazes me, to find that the drinkers amongst us more so than the religious category.I dont think this right. I think Catholics think Ive god on my side , so dont reporrt. I know many woman a catholic and distill it on their husbands who all seem to become domesticated and religious-what kind of man is this? Then secondly theres that-ive never ever seen that in the sense I am not religious. When and if I am luckily enough to be cremated ( ire cjkon by the tim ethis generation run out theyll be no such thing except a balck bag and burning-well Ive no pention plan - I cant even im agine liivng that long-not sure I want to even aim that far ahead even though you cant make tim estand still-not unless something really negative has happend ( cause thats how it has felt for years-time has stood still , yet ive got fatter uglier and more scars and wrinkles). Then, and I know things will just change ( if I live that long- they tend to) but I cant stnad the thought of loosing my parents, and accepting there age my own age is difficult enough.Ive just not moved as things have progressed. I know his dad hasnt got long to go and it frightens me. I know this sounds really really selfish and I know his death will hurt the children, but i dont want to be around him when this happens. i really dont.
ve more than one unselfish reason for saying this, and I dread it-but know its not so far off. Though who knnows sometimes people live well into their 90s and no ne can tell really-can they?
Anyway, on that bitter note, im going now. God Im just a b***h!!! Dont get me wrong I actually am really fond of his dad, but hmmm-thinking about it-maybe my life wouldnt be so bad if hed thought ( alone) about his wown actions. My head is thumping and now I feel like a right old cow-hope no one finds me here, hope your okk, I dont really think I am -but hey we are all different.
I dont know.This pain-well it aint subsiding its getting worse-its so raw!I feel like Ive a piece of glass in there..maybe , I thinking maybe its my anxiety making it worse, maybe it snothing, but its there allright-its not moving, Its not changing when I go to the lou or anything.its just stinging.Icant describe it-Its sore, and Im worried it wont go away on its own...if its just a cyst-then thats ok, I can ahndle that-but what if its not? it might just be my body need rest-could it be that? Im scared and it isnt like I have the social support-I think its just stress-ill leave it at that for just now!
IM so tired/anyway:hs agreed to look at papers/application for housing.
Is it in your ovary and pelvic area? Then it DEFINITELY Will have something to do with Ovarian Cysts, or Endometerosis! So get a check up! Phone the drinks clinic to cancel! Is he going to fill out one of the applications?
I dont know-I cant evens describe what it feels like! Never really felt anything like it before-its around my hip area, and then down . Im a little worried, I mean i was putting tampons in and theyd just pop out.I really dont fancy being dealt with down their either-just want to be left alone!
ive just got up-someone is hammering something in their flat above me. I just want to slep. i couldnt manage the school run .I couldnt even open my eyes. Now I feel really weak, and Ive been crying due to this situation.
its the same old "i really dont want to be here, but I dont want to die either"Thats how I feel-but no! Actually I wish someone would give me some anesthetic and put me to sleep -forever!!!
I used to enjoy shopping, the children ( maybe they should come first on this list), eating, getting my hair done, even tidying up was never that bad. These days, I dont want to get out of bed.I dont see the point. I cant even bring myself to ring my dad/mum/sister. dad -hed secretly understand but be tough man to it on the outiside(Ie) Hed give me a row-and a threat of where to go . Mum is sympathetic and can be understanding-but uses her house as a mask , and never endlessly perfects. My sister always will and always seems to manage having fun-and exoects me to sit and listen 3 hours per night.
Him-well, i thik he cares about the children.i dont think he gives a hoot about me-but then I dont really ever think he did!i remebr trying to discuss our housing situation with him when I was ealry stage pregnant ( hed reply"its sunday-ewe cant do anything about it on a sunday"0 if I were to tell youwhere and how my eldest was conceived you would think differently about me, about all of it-at the time I dont know what I was thinking. Thats along time ago now -perhaps its got sdistorted in my head-ive got to go and get something to eatsee if that helps. Hope your all right. I miss my friends!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ive just got up-someone is hammering something in their flat above me. I just want to slep. i couldnt manage the school run .I couldnt even open my eyes. Now I feel really weak, and Ive been crying due to this situation.
its the same old "i really dont want to be here, but I dont want to die either"Thats how I feel-but no! Actually I wish someone would give me some anesthetic and put me to sleep -forever!!!
I used to enjoy shopping, the children ( maybe they should come first on this list), eating, getting my hair done, even tidying up was never that bad. These days, I dont want to get out of bed.I dont see the point. I cant even bring myself to ring my dad/mum/sister. dad -hed secretly understand but be tough man to it on the outiside(Ie) Hed give me a row-and a threat of where to go . Mum is sympathetic and can be understanding-but uses her house as a mask , and never endlessly perfects. My sister always will and always seems to manage having fun-and exoects me to sit and listen 3 hours per night.
Him-well, i thik he cares about the children.i dont think he gives a hoot about me-but then I dont really ever think he did!i remebr trying to discuss our housing situation with him when I was ealry stage pregnant ( hed reply"its sunday-ewe cant do anything about it on a sunday"0 if I were to tell youwhere and how my eldest was conceived you would think differently about me, about all of it-at the time I dont know what I was thinking. Thats along time ago now -perhaps its got sdistorted in my head-ive got to go and get something to eatsee if that helps. Hope your all right. I miss my friends!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
My mum has rang me. Something is going on at home and it does not sound good at all!! Its all worrying.
I now feel like im getting the flu, and not the flew over the cuckoos nest type XD
Im so stupid ( of course he says hes going to sign the papers,) saying something and actually doing them are 2 different things-I should knnnnnnnnnoooooooooooooooooooooooowwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!!!!!!
I now feel like im getting the flu, and not the flew over the cuckoos nest type XD
Im so stupid ( of course he says hes going to sign the papers,) saying something and actually doing them are 2 different things-I should knnnnnnnnnoooooooooooooooooooooooowwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!!!!!!
Hi dawn! God -I dont know what this is-but I was in the bath, and ok this is :$ :$ :$ :$ :$ brass neck, beamer, but what is this???ive found a lump like thing feels a bit warty on my downstairs lips -not that I like to feel down there but what is that???/ have you ever had anything like this?????Whats going on -why is everything in my body malfunciontining ( God-Im not stupid - I can gues that?) Now Im not focused to do wor. i want to relax , watch a dvd, eat sweets and drink juice and cuddle my teedy bear. Thats all I want to do. I dont want anyone to talk to me, demand anything from me, tell me what to do, put any kind of responsibility on me, I just dont want to do anyting-Im a lazy cow! the sooner thats accepted the better. Thats all I am Im a a waister. and irresponsible one at thtat!Argh and if i dont stop scratching my arms there goiing to fal off. In factIm going to eats sweets and watch a dvd -stuff it Ive not sdone that in years.
actually-i might fail my cours and all of that but at laeast I can eat sweets and watcch dvds in my rom especially when his dad comes round. he thinks Im studying and he forgets to put his hearing aid on, and i can watch a dvd and eat swets. Once Ive done that ill do some work before bed, I cant concentrate right now...too focused on wanting to get into something else
Ill be feeling guilty after that . funny I look really white today and drawn in , and my eyes have gone all red and itchy but ithink ive put weight on. Hmmm feels a bit devious to sitwatching a dvd-theyve gone swimming with the girls and the firls took there plastoo
Hmm any ideas on what film I could watch. It would be better to do this the other way around Do some work and then watch a film-but for some reason i dont work that way.
Ill be feeling guilty after that . funny I look really white today and drawn in , and my eyes have gone all red and itchy but ithink ive put weight on. Hmmm feels a bit devious to sitwatching a dvd-theyve gone swimming with the girls and the firls took there plastoo
Hmm any ideas on what film I could watch. It would be better to do this the other way around Do some work and then watch a film-but for some reason i dont work that way.
So much for watching a dvd-its not going to happen. Good news is Ive just rang a company that can help ( hopefully ) to fund my course...One wee problem sorted.
God-im just fathing abuot-avoid avoid avoid-its a bit like the Go see a doctor Rhubarb rhubabr ruhubarb, and if you see a doctor try and listen Rhbarb rhubarb rhubarb!ewww-r-theres un unidentifiable black object moving toewrads me-i tried to kill it with my shoe-but it just wasnt hard enough and now its coming to get me. I cant even kill an insect properly-what the hell is that?Okay, ill go do some work then? God its a different day-when I was a student well the group of people I used to be with were all mental.Wed go to the union for a quick pint-go to the lecture half of us would need the lou during-wed go back to the union-wed go to the library and then wed have some coffee half of us would plan our night out-or whatever. That black thing its still moving -i wish I knew what it was! Anyway, now , I cant even find the refectory, I cant even understand how that big spaceship thing they call a library works. No one seems to drink there isnt a social escape placeand I feel like im out on a limb.
God yeah-when i went to the shop I was very wobbily and I had to stop turn my ipod off and give myself a good talkinging too!!!! Its okay I pretended I was n my headset talking to people. This world has gone mad!!!!! And Im mad in it!!!!! nope-that black thing is still moving-god I wish I could find my glasses!Right its neasrly 5pm, still havent really got up yet ,might swing an all nighter.
I cancelled my appointment with the drinks nurse-
God yeah-when i went to the shop I was very wobbily and I had to stop turn my ipod off and give myself a good talkinging too!!!! Its okay I pretended I was n my headset talking to people. This world has gone mad!!!!! And Im mad in it!!!!! nope-that black thing is still moving-god I wish I could find my glasses!Right its neasrly 5pm, still havent really got up yet ,might swing an all nighter.
I cancelled my appointment with the drinks nurse-
Hi Katy! I have to come clean about something! I feel TOTALLY helpless about your situtation and am VERY worried about your state of mind! I even asked one of the administrators what I should do! Because I am VERY worried you might do something dangerous to yourself or to him! Without you getting help from your doctor, or reaching out, there is really nothing else I can do! I know you use on here as a diary, but I also think you use it for a cry for help! I have tried and tried to help you, and it is no good! So unfortunately I will need a break from this Katy! I have a LOT going on with my health, and I am worried constantly about what you WILL do! You know I wish you and your girls ALL the very best! And I truly hope that one day you WILL ask to get checked out by your doctor, and get some REAL help!
I am SCARED for you Katy, and you are going further and further down, and I think that perhaps I haven't helped you at all! Perhaps just enabled you to go round and round in circles and not get the help you so OBVIOUSLY need! I KNOW you think you don't have a problem with either drinking or anything mental or physical! So There's nothing much I can say about that!
I will wish you and your girls a better 2010 and ALL the happiness and health there is! I hope you have a good christmas! Take care of YOU Katy! Lots of hugs! Dawn :'(
I am SCARED for you Katy, and you are going further and further down, and I think that perhaps I haven't helped you at all! Perhaps just enabled you to go round and round in circles and not get the help you so OBVIOUSLY need! I KNOW you think you don't have a problem with either drinking or anything mental or physical! So There's nothing much I can say about that!
I will wish you and your girls a better 2010 and ALL the happiness and health there is! I hope you have a good christmas! Take care of YOU Katy! Lots of hugs! Dawn :'(
Dawn-thats not true-youve helped me in various ways. BUT , I totally understand why you want to leave now! i get that-Ill miss you , but hope you get well asap!!!!!
I always do end up at the doctors I guess i tend to leave it , until I cannot live with it anymore! i am terrible for not speking out. Im terrible for going all the time, and just not saying the truth-but theres nothing anyone can realy do. you cant change the past -only the future, I get that too. But theres also no predicting the future. A frined of mine ( oh im not going to put that here-but put it this way its an eye opener -he was only 31! It makes me think well -what is the point? he looked after himself, and so on thats why i get so pissed at being told off for doing something that I shouldnt be doing-who is to say the boundaries? Who? Im never drunk at 8 in the evening. Possibly by midnight if I stay up that long.
Ive been doing a lot of research into things and Ive found masses of stuff that make me think-JUSR DO IT-QUIT-BEFORE IT KILLS ME!Im the one that has to take control of that though-no one can do it for me. The other thing though is , is that when I drink I immediately see the plusses and things are funnier-but like eating masses of chocolate etc and e numbers it aint worth the downslide.
Im putting Christmas on hold this year. normally I stick the tree up 1st december, but christmas last year was a disaster and to be honest i feel really sad about it!My girls enjoy it though -and thats the main thing. After today It makes me wonder -I should really appreciate them -even if things are not great here, thats just tough! Im ad my bed I lie in it! Why should they suffer? Indeddy, considereing things . I only wanted to say ONE BIG THANK YOU. you say youve just made me sing in circles, Ive been swinging in circles for years -thats not your fault and youve not made me worse or anything. You were somone for me to open up to and I truly thank you for your time and especially as your health is not so great I actually think your a marvel for holding my hand thorugh tough timess. anyway, I hope you have a great christmas yourself and a good next year. i am determined to do ok on my msive not got much else going for me In terms of me! Anyway, ill miss you. Take care, Katy
I always do end up at the doctors I guess i tend to leave it , until I cannot live with it anymore! i am terrible for not speking out. Im terrible for going all the time, and just not saying the truth-but theres nothing anyone can realy do. you cant change the past -only the future, I get that too. But theres also no predicting the future. A frined of mine ( oh im not going to put that here-but put it this way its an eye opener -he was only 31! It makes me think well -what is the point? he looked after himself, and so on thats why i get so pissed at being told off for doing something that I shouldnt be doing-who is to say the boundaries? Who? Im never drunk at 8 in the evening. Possibly by midnight if I stay up that long.
Ive been doing a lot of research into things and Ive found masses of stuff that make me think-JUSR DO IT-QUIT-BEFORE IT KILLS ME!Im the one that has to take control of that though-no one can do it for me. The other thing though is , is that when I drink I immediately see the plusses and things are funnier-but like eating masses of chocolate etc and e numbers it aint worth the downslide.
Im putting Christmas on hold this year. normally I stick the tree up 1st december, but christmas last year was a disaster and to be honest i feel really sad about it!My girls enjoy it though -and thats the main thing. After today It makes me wonder -I should really appreciate them -even if things are not great here, thats just tough! Im ad my bed I lie in it! Why should they suffer? Indeddy, considereing things . I only wanted to say ONE BIG THANK YOU. you say youve just made me sing in circles, Ive been swinging in circles for years -thats not your fault and youve not made me worse or anything. You were somone for me to open up to and I truly thank you for your time and especially as your health is not so great I actually think your a marvel for holding my hand thorugh tough timess. anyway, I hope you have a great christmas yourself and a good next year. i am determined to do ok on my msive not got much else going for me In terms of me! Anyway, ill miss you. Take care, Katy