well, I had a bad morning, ok once I amde it to Glasgow-sometimes I just want to stay there again!
I met this amazing woman today. She was a real inspiration to me! She used to be a GP, and now Im not sure what it is she does -but whatever it is-her mind was really open and nunderstanding about things. I really wanted to stay behind and have a chat-but instead I ran off-I had been late for class because of the so many time I left this place - I thought I cant do this-im fooling myself! then to this-I can do this-I know Im clever-I know i think differently.
Im amazed at what this lady knew about addiction-and how she dealt with not only her patients, but her colleagues-it was a reall eye opener for me. I kept thinking( she is lookig at me-she must know what im uptp-as she is so experienced.I got so paranoid and then I could feel my airway tightening in my neck .I look at a fellow student - then got embarassed as hes male and started to think omg hell be thinkig I fancie him now- i dont I was just looking over for reassurance.
Im so sensitive at the moment though. the lecture put a photograph of a mum up -who had been under her specialised care. She looked beautiful and so did her daughter. when the lecturuer ended with "she is dead" I nearly burst into tears. I was gulping them back for dear life.
Ive not got the bus thorugh to glasgow in years but Id thought Id save some money and I was avoiding the train system due to my panic last week. It was no good I spent I hr and forty minutes paicing coming home. then panic on the way hoem. The thing that really pisses me of-is this. My drinks nurse stated that my panic would get better once stopping drinkin> I felt like - I felt angry. I felt angry because Ive had panic attacks when a teen, when sitting my highers. Ive always paniced-not to this level but I remeber having one when I was about 14 and the school nurse had to come and fetch me. I never thought anything of it at the time, and didnt see it as a real problem , but my panic is always there, then when the lecturer stated she was a docotor I started to panic, then I started to panic more whn ei went bright red and couldnt breth(hopefully no one noticed!)
Im thinking about making an appointment to seee my gp as I dont agree with coming off the citalopram(not yet) I think I can come of the booze easily enough-but I need to get my sinuses sorted whatever it is , its not helping!
I met this amazing woman today. She was a real inspiration to me! She used to be a GP, and now Im not sure what it is she does -but whatever it is-her mind was really open and nunderstanding about things. I really wanted to stay behind and have a chat-but instead I ran off-I had been late for class because of the so many time I left this place - I thought I cant do this-im fooling myself! then to this-I can do this-I know Im clever-I know i think differently.
Im amazed at what this lady knew about addiction-and how she dealt with not only her patients, but her colleagues-it was a reall eye opener for me. I kept thinking( she is lookig at me-she must know what im uptp-as she is so experienced.I got so paranoid and then I could feel my airway tightening in my neck .I look at a fellow student - then got embarassed as hes male and started to think omg hell be thinkig I fancie him now- i dont I was just looking over for reassurance.
Im so sensitive at the moment though. the lecture put a photograph of a mum up -who had been under her specialised care. She looked beautiful and so did her daughter. when the lecturuer ended with "she is dead" I nearly burst into tears. I was gulping them back for dear life.
Ive not got the bus thorugh to glasgow in years but Id thought Id save some money and I was avoiding the train system due to my panic last week. It was no good I spent I hr and forty minutes paicing coming home. then panic on the way hoem. The thing that really pisses me of-is this. My drinks nurse stated that my panic would get better once stopping drinkin> I felt like - I felt angry. I felt angry because Ive had panic attacks when a teen, when sitting my highers. Ive always paniced-not to this level but I remeber having one when I was about 14 and the school nurse had to come and fetch me. I never thought anything of it at the time, and didnt see it as a real problem , but my panic is always there, then when the lecturer stated she was a docotor I started to panic, then I started to panic more whn ei went bright red and couldnt breth(hopefully no one noticed!)
Im thinking about making an appointment to seee my gp as I dont agree with coming off the citalopram(not yet) I think I can come of the booze easily enough-but I need to get my sinuses sorted whatever it is , its not helping!
What an id**t ive been!
No one need really know and no one was that great ( when it comes down to it) How can I put this ( witout seemming incredilbly stupid)
Oh ok, I dont care. i tanked wine last night-as though there was no tomorrow. Everyone went to bed-and I was sitting stairing at sharp objects and then staring at pills in the cupboard. Then felt as though I couldnt brethe. never have a panic attack whilst intoxicted-its not a great idea. 8-| so thinking I was dying and quit happy about that one I ring for a n ambulance.They arrive-the paramedics-they took me seriously . took me in and i just sat. The number of people rushed in pissed was a bit -oh I dont know -but I understand why they would have been annoyed at me. But by the end of it I was angry at them.
In my notes someone stated that it said I was on Disilfirium ( whatever) so I state-do I look like Im on that?
Then I got taken aside and given a huge row-i argued back-look, i didnt come here for a lecture I wanted someone to listen -this large woman let me out her room , throw a seat down. I sat there for maybe 4 hours.
One girl as taken in, totally out of it, another man was whiting i could have told him that. Somones dad was in and his guy started talking to the guy giving it spew int oa bowel....By this time, Im thinking this is bloody useless! So I ask a nurse if I could go home. she says"wait a doctor will see you soon" Right , so I wait"a junior doc comes out-asks if Ive taken anything-for all they know I could have drank mouthwash and tried to top myself with paracetamol -andyway so she asks me again, I say "no" then I can go. I get sent away thank god. Im watching htese people and im not really feeling very confident about being ill. If i get ill and these people help I will die. I wasnt impressed, mind you they werent impressed by me im sure that has something to do with it 8-|
Anyway, I didnt want my children to find out before I was home . So ileft the hopsital at 5am , and walked. Got home at 7am, and sat and thought -went to bed at 8am-slept. and now feel really ill. I didnt have a jacket. Put a pair of lightweight jeans on and some really nice man that asked what I was up to gave me some blankets. But there was a problem with that one. Put blankets on -you look really vulnerable. Today I think Mad! that was mad of me absoultely raving looney mad! but why is it in my note that im on antabuse ( when Im not) why am I being given a row when all i realy wanted was to feel safe and maybe loved. why do these people only concentrate on the physical. Honestly, I stare at the machinery in these places and I do think its amazing, but if your going to treat people with little or no decency Id rather they were a plumber, not a man handler with no feling.. I get it too, I get that they though I was waisting resources and time and so on, but if I hadnt gone in I dont think id be here today to tell the tale,. so even though I feel guilty, Im not going to beat myself up about it, Ive been beaten enough thanks!
No one need really know and no one was that great ( when it comes down to it) How can I put this ( witout seemming incredilbly stupid)
Oh ok, I dont care. i tanked wine last night-as though there was no tomorrow. Everyone went to bed-and I was sitting stairing at sharp objects and then staring at pills in the cupboard. Then felt as though I couldnt brethe. never have a panic attack whilst intoxicted-its not a great idea. 8-| so thinking I was dying and quit happy about that one I ring for a n ambulance.They arrive-the paramedics-they took me seriously . took me in and i just sat. The number of people rushed in pissed was a bit -oh I dont know -but I understand why they would have been annoyed at me. But by the end of it I was angry at them.
In my notes someone stated that it said I was on Disilfirium ( whatever) so I state-do I look like Im on that?
Then I got taken aside and given a huge row-i argued back-look, i didnt come here for a lecture I wanted someone to listen -this large woman let me out her room , throw a seat down. I sat there for maybe 4 hours.
One girl as taken in, totally out of it, another man was whiting i could have told him that. Somones dad was in and his guy started talking to the guy giving it spew int oa bowel....By this time, Im thinking this is bloody useless! So I ask a nurse if I could go home. she says"wait a doctor will see you soon" Right , so I wait"a junior doc comes out-asks if Ive taken anything-for all they know I could have drank mouthwash and tried to top myself with paracetamol -andyway so she asks me again, I say "no" then I can go. I get sent away thank god. Im watching htese people and im not really feeling very confident about being ill. If i get ill and these people help I will die. I wasnt impressed, mind you they werent impressed by me im sure that has something to do with it 8-|
Anyway, I didnt want my children to find out before I was home . So ileft the hopsital at 5am , and walked. Got home at 7am, and sat and thought -went to bed at 8am-slept. and now feel really ill. I didnt have a jacket. Put a pair of lightweight jeans on and some really nice man that asked what I was up to gave me some blankets. But there was a problem with that one. Put blankets on -you look really vulnerable. Today I think Mad! that was mad of me absoultely raving looney mad! but why is it in my note that im on antabuse ( when Im not) why am I being given a row when all i realy wanted was to feel safe and maybe loved. why do these people only concentrate on the physical. Honestly, I stare at the machinery in these places and I do think its amazing, but if your going to treat people with little or no decency Id rather they were a plumber, not a man handler with no feling.. I get it too, I get that they though I was waisting resources and time and so on, but if I hadnt gone in I dont think id be here today to tell the tale,. so even though I feel guilty, Im not going to beat myself up about it, Ive been beaten enough thanks!
Help! i dont know what Im doing. Im trying to relax but essays and everything pending. i cant relax and things are getting on top of me so much thta I just dont want to do. i just want to curl up and sleep with my girls. its useless!
I need a motivator, but truly feel so divided and done in. What am I going to do? I dont want people to know what ive been up to. I feel so bad about eerything!
Right missie-time for a wee chat to yourself. Right-no one knows -only your sister and hopefully this place is safe , and no shame as you were still are feling desperate, but listen to me , you silly silly cow. get you r finger from where its stucj and go do some work or you will fail and be in a worse state than before,, your children need me to do this, they neeed this and I need it for me. Who cares what hes up to , in a couple of months it will al l be different . Your running out of pills and you are thinking about downing some wine to get through your next essay-but dont do it-just dont. There are people out there much much worse than you. I can do this , I can-its no biggie. Ill be okay and I can do my finances myself I can do this. i can go to glasgow and then dads and have a happy time . it will be good for me, it will. Only yyou can do this-no one else make it happen. youve got 2 years to complete this course, if things get so bad tell the tutors, tell whoever, stop hiding it, It will be ok. It will. Right Im off to get better. god, up and down like I dont know what . you can do this dont get eaten alive. Ok.
I need a motivator, but truly feel so divided and done in. What am I going to do? I dont want people to know what ive been up to. I feel so bad about eerything!
Right missie-time for a wee chat to yourself. Right-no one knows -only your sister and hopefully this place is safe , and no shame as you were still are feling desperate, but listen to me , you silly silly cow. get you r finger from where its stucj and go do some work or you will fail and be in a worse state than before,, your children need me to do this, they neeed this and I need it for me. Who cares what hes up to , in a couple of months it will al l be different . Your running out of pills and you are thinking about downing some wine to get through your next essay-but dont do it-just dont. There are people out there much much worse than you. I can do this , I can-its no biggie. Ill be okay and I can do my finances myself I can do this. i can go to glasgow and then dads and have a happy time . it will be good for me, it will. Only yyou can do this-no one else make it happen. youve got 2 years to complete this course, if things get so bad tell the tutors, tell whoever, stop hiding it, It will be ok. It will. Right Im off to get better. god, up and down like I dont know what . you can do this dont get eaten alive. Ok.
Call me overanxious but I have a definate lump in my boob and my arm has gone numb.Im scared!
Hmmmm-I just dont know. I feel like I cant breath, but I must be breathjing, but I think on walking or something-Im noot getting enough oxygen or something, as I felt fine, then really dizzy , couldnt breath, streets spinning, so sat on pavement and hyperventilated.Pins and need les and really lightheaded.Though I was going to pass out. i dont know If itrs because I am worrying about my courseworkI dont know!
well, I cant be bothered making another posting about me me me.
Had a right laughtoday , at work. Someone stated I was like someone from the x factor. ive been hysterical ever since. find it entertaining. If only it was true!
Im doing a really interesting case study at the moment. i totally get it-but cant be bothered finding the relevant info to back up what im saying(yawn) cant I just say what I think in third person??? Pfff. tried contacting the professor, email wouldnt go through. In panic, cant enjoy christmas with the girls. i feel like ive been tied up to be tortured.
The children know exactly whats going on, they know this is the last family christmas, and they know what is happening. Ny ehart skips a beat.
When I found out I was expecting the first time around, I rember going for very long walks, particualry near water, so i could put heavy weights around my ankes, drown and never have to tell my parnets. Aweeeeeeeeeee whoopseee, did I write that?Yet, the amazing thing is, my children are the best thing ( hate that expression) Ive ever done, even if I fail my Msc, even if I f**k up right now, -No one has a clue, and thats that, so well. it will be ok. Ive a lovely mum and a lovely dad that live miles a part from each other, I have 2 beatiful children, I have to do something for me to prove to me I aint stupid. Hopefully by new year something will turn up-I was talking to a young guy at work and hes stated that you can get small partishish mortgages or something. im thinking wow! theres an escape!
okay I have a question or a few. right, theres this bloke hes 20, he lost his mum at 12, hes had psychiatric treatment at 14, Now hes 20 has a few mates, but no closeness, hisnt close to family members. thinks about dying all the time, and has tries to commit suicide 2xs, -would you sya that was a HIGH risk case? Anyone? I have states it is, but then therer is the paradox, the people that say nothing , do nothing aoout it, and jsut go for it and die-hmmm, not sure about my point here???
As an individual ., I dont think Im suicidal , but he winds me up to a point where I get that-and then it bloody well annoys me.anyway, going to bed. I just do not know if I am cut out for this msc stuff-think im too thick!
Had a right laughtoday , at work. Someone stated I was like someone from the x factor. ive been hysterical ever since. find it entertaining. If only it was true!
Im doing a really interesting case study at the moment. i totally get it-but cant be bothered finding the relevant info to back up what im saying(yawn) cant I just say what I think in third person??? Pfff. tried contacting the professor, email wouldnt go through. In panic, cant enjoy christmas with the girls. i feel like ive been tied up to be tortured.
The children know exactly whats going on, they know this is the last family christmas, and they know what is happening. Ny ehart skips a beat.
When I found out I was expecting the first time around, I rember going for very long walks, particualry near water, so i could put heavy weights around my ankes, drown and never have to tell my parnets. Aweeeeeeeeeee whoopseee, did I write that?Yet, the amazing thing is, my children are the best thing ( hate that expression) Ive ever done, even if I fail my Msc, even if I f**k up right now, -No one has a clue, and thats that, so well. it will be ok. Ive a lovely mum and a lovely dad that live miles a part from each other, I have 2 beatiful children, I have to do something for me to prove to me I aint stupid. Hopefully by new year something will turn up-I was talking to a young guy at work and hes stated that you can get small partishish mortgages or something. im thinking wow! theres an escape!
okay I have a question or a few. right, theres this bloke hes 20, he lost his mum at 12, hes had psychiatric treatment at 14, Now hes 20 has a few mates, but no closeness, hisnt close to family members. thinks about dying all the time, and has tries to commit suicide 2xs, -would you sya that was a HIGH risk case? Anyone? I have states it is, but then therer is the paradox, the people that say nothing , do nothing aoout it, and jsut go for it and die-hmmm, not sure about my point here???
As an individual ., I dont think Im suicidal , but he winds me up to a point where I get that-and then it bloody well annoys me.anyway, going to bed. I just do not know if I am cut out for this msc stuff-think im too thick!
Im so lonely! Sometimes, i just feel overwhelmed.today I had an awful experience with myself-so bad-I reallly dont want to talk about it!
anyway, Im actually thinking and getting determined to hand in my course work come Firday as I know Ive done so much worl on the subject-and even if its rubbish, Im tinking-just hand it in. the other students are churning out coursework all the time. In a way Im envious, but Ive lost my rythymn when it comes to managing like that-so i was thinking speed it up this week, Hnd it in and then forget about it-Ive been told I can have an extension-but I was thinking that actually maybe that s a really bad idea. I dont know what to do.
I feel likethis-angry, for tolerating the c**p ive been handed, angry for not voing what I think. I catually know ive lot of intelligent things to say-especially more intelligent than the way I look-actually-the good thingis , i havent got a clue what a freak I look, as i cant see-but I shouldnt really write this here, but was bemused by my work -I referenced somone and put the date 2010-how to get an immediate fail. I found it so outrageously funny that I laughed all day to myself.I suppose I better go through all that stuff and reference it pproperly.anyway.....christmas will be over soon -and il be getting out of here. Im thinking about moving me and the girls up tp the west coast.
anyway, Im actually thinking and getting determined to hand in my course work come Firday as I know Ive done so much worl on the subject-and even if its rubbish, Im tinking-just hand it in. the other students are churning out coursework all the time. In a way Im envious, but Ive lost my rythymn when it comes to managing like that-so i was thinking speed it up this week, Hnd it in and then forget about it-Ive been told I can have an extension-but I was thinking that actually maybe that s a really bad idea. I dont know what to do.
I feel likethis-angry, for tolerating the c**p ive been handed, angry for not voing what I think. I catually know ive lot of intelligent things to say-especially more intelligent than the way I look-actually-the good thingis , i havent got a clue what a freak I look, as i cant see-but I shouldnt really write this here, but was bemused by my work -I referenced somone and put the date 2010-how to get an immediate fail. I found it so outrageously funny that I laughed all day to myself.I suppose I better go through all that stuff and reference it pproperly.anyway.....christmas will be over soon -and il be getting out of here. Im thinking about moving me and the girls up tp the west coast.
Hi Katy! I just wanted to pop my head in and wish you and the girls a VERY Merry Christmas and I hope that 2010 sees you healthy and loved! Take it easy on yourself and I wish you nothing but strength and health! Your friend Dawn
Have a lovely Christmas dawn, and a great new year. I was touched that you sent me a message! Take care and hope you have a great time!!! My children are really really excited and theres a buzz about the place. I love my gals!!!! MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!!!
Hi Dawn! Sorry to bther you but omg, just had my christmas dinner, slept for a bit. felt fine, walked into my kitchen started to choke, and then threw up. Neck has come out in a rash. Im feeling fine as well, so dont knnow what is going on. Hope your christmas is going well. My girls have just gone to see their cousins, and as soon as they left they house I start to vomit. What a day!
hey daftydil,
Hows going honey, ? Me myself im not so good at the moment . Im starting having panic attacks and I really hate them:(. I cannot be myself anymore and Im fed up of this feeling no one is helping me and now Im really afraid that Im going down the drain ..........:-(
What medications are u taking ? Hope u get well soon because I can truly understand your pain ure feeling
Hows going honey, ? Me myself im not so good at the moment . Im starting having panic attacks and I really hate them:(. I cannot be myself anymore and Im fed up of this feeling no one is helping me and now Im really afraid that Im going down the drain ..........:-(
What medications are u taking ? Hope u get well soon because I can truly understand your pain ure feeling
Tahnks for talikng to me getfunky. Ive not ben well since christmas day! Still feel like im being choked and throwing up. \when people ask me about x mas and stuff i panic.I dont understand why its getting worse 8-| Ive my big sister staying with me-she took me sledging to get rid of my fear of ice-but the entire time I shock and my legs were everywhere.she found it reallly funny-but I did not. I keep feeling as though Im choking.
My ex hasnt given me a penny towards the childrens christmas-yet I feel so sad, so full of regret-but when I walk away , or go to my mothers home, i think come on-think what youve achieved, and feel like Im finally finding my footing, then when Im home again, m in panic mode straight away 24/7.
Im waiting on hearing about accomodtin for me and my gals. i should hear soon. I plan to be outbefore next semester, but hey if ive not been given a place i might very well take the children and chap on my mums door! I dont think this is going to end without a court battle! I think my ex thinks im too weak to do anything about anything, but I get strength from my frineds, but they cant be round me 24/7 either. Im scared ive something else wrong as I keep throwing up willy nilly, my tummy doesnt even feel wobbily , its just I fel like I cant breathe, and then its as though , like a tube breaks and the brown lumpy warm stuff comes up. Do you get this? Is this just anxiety? I feel like others have real problems, and this really isnt one of them, ie people have cancers, alzheimers, etc but theres nothing actual wrong withme so I refuse to se a doctor. Do you get this? Im so afraid of everything at themoment, its mamoth! im thinking about suspending my coursem but think that will make me fel worse so clueless as to what to do!
Get funky, I hate it too, i even thought today that I was going to have a heart failure, do you get this? then I worrry, maybe ive got cancer, then I switch to ow well I might just doe then, to another swithch of total fear, then antother switch to life is too short so lets party! I was dancing with my sister last night just to forget and the children joined in-I wisi I could be like this all the time.
Anyway, hope youre ok-its difficult explaining to other people why you have real trauma just trying to gt to shops etc and its exceedingly exhausting! Take care of youand feel free to speak to me about anything.
My ex hasnt given me a penny towards the childrens christmas-yet I feel so sad, so full of regret-but when I walk away , or go to my mothers home, i think come on-think what youve achieved, and feel like Im finally finding my footing, then when Im home again, m in panic mode straight away 24/7.
Im waiting on hearing about accomodtin for me and my gals. i should hear soon. I plan to be outbefore next semester, but hey if ive not been given a place i might very well take the children and chap on my mums door! I dont think this is going to end without a court battle! I think my ex thinks im too weak to do anything about anything, but I get strength from my frineds, but they cant be round me 24/7 either. Im scared ive something else wrong as I keep throwing up willy nilly, my tummy doesnt even feel wobbily , its just I fel like I cant breathe, and then its as though , like a tube breaks and the brown lumpy warm stuff comes up. Do you get this? Is this just anxiety? I feel like others have real problems, and this really isnt one of them, ie people have cancers, alzheimers, etc but theres nothing actual wrong withme so I refuse to se a doctor. Do you get this? Im so afraid of everything at themoment, its mamoth! im thinking about suspending my coursem but think that will make me fel worse so clueless as to what to do!
Get funky, I hate it too, i even thought today that I was going to have a heart failure, do you get this? then I worrry, maybe ive got cancer, then I switch to ow well I might just doe then, to another swithch of total fear, then antother switch to life is too short so lets party! I was dancing with my sister last night just to forget and the children joined in-I wisi I could be like this all the time.
Anyway, hope youre ok-its difficult explaining to other people why you have real trauma just trying to gt to shops etc and its exceedingly exhausting! Take care of youand feel free to speak to me about anything.
God! This is ridiculous.I was feeling fine. I know im a bit anxious anyway but tthis is ridiculous-I even know it but I simploy cant stop it! Anyway, the number of people that walk past you because they think your a junkie or whatever.....well I started to swear cry, gag, kick the snow scream "hes not eworth it@ I have no money left not a single penny. Meanwhile...ok not going to complain about it. The sooner im out of here the better. I honestly feel so angry that I do think I could comit murder. Mum just told me to calm down and that I dont want to do that "i want to get out of the life sentence im allready in". I cant believe the way he treates me. it makes me ill. Are all men like this? Is it me? Should I just sleep with him whenever he feels like it, cook him dinners for him to sneer at and throw against the wall, should I be taking this? is this what woman do? Im so confused and i thinki m gong to throw again!
Hi Katy! When was the last time you went to the doctors? It sounds like this is starting to affect the lining of your stomach! thus the brown lumpy stuff! Anxiety DEFINITELY affects the stomach and EVERYTHING else! Your doctor HAS to put you on a MAJOR strength anti depressent and anti anxiety pill - this is the only way you are going to get a handle on this honey!
And Getfunky! Have you talked to your doctor about getting on a major antidepressent and anxiety medication too?
What you both need to realize and accept is that you ARE both ILL! Yes granted it's not the biggies - such as Cancer, MS etc. but you are just as ill and suffer just as much as anyone with a physcial illness! When people are in severe depresseion and anxiety they can't wrap their brains around the fact that their own brians are "betraying them" and making them SO physically and emotionally ill! Depression and Anxiety are classic signs of mental ILLNESS! It is NOTHING to be ashamed about but 10's of millions of people - like yourselves - suffer needlessly day in and day out! There is no need for either of you to suffer one more day! How can either of you manage the world as it is, when neither of you feel well? If you had Chrons Disease or Kidney disease etc, would you ask for help and take it and get on medications to improve your life? Of course you would! So your ILLNESS's are JUST as valid and REAL as anyone elses! So you HAVE to ask for the help - be TOTALLY truthful with the doctors - and received and take that help! You cant get better without it!
When people talk to me or have met me, they would NEVER know that I have and suffer from a mental illness! I forget too, but every day I take my Cymbalta - and I thank GOD for this life saver - and I am almost back to the way I was before I became ill! Last night I went a visited a friend of mine in another city! So I stayed the night and I didn't have my pills with me! I was in SUCH a state last night - nightmares, anxiety, nervousness etc, but my girlfriend - who is a nurse - totally understood! I took my pain killers, but REALLY needed my anti anxiety and depression medication. But HAD to wait till I got home! I can't even comprehend the fact that I WOUDLN'T take my medication, because it has literally saved my life and sanity! So that is my wish for you both - for 2010 - to ask and receive and take the help that you both so desperately need! And I truly hope you have a TRUE Happy New Year!
And Getfunky! Have you talked to your doctor about getting on a major antidepressent and anxiety medication too?
What you both need to realize and accept is that you ARE both ILL! Yes granted it's not the biggies - such as Cancer, MS etc. but you are just as ill and suffer just as much as anyone with a physcial illness! When people are in severe depresseion and anxiety they can't wrap their brains around the fact that their own brians are "betraying them" and making them SO physically and emotionally ill! Depression and Anxiety are classic signs of mental ILLNESS! It is NOTHING to be ashamed about but 10's of millions of people - like yourselves - suffer needlessly day in and day out! There is no need for either of you to suffer one more day! How can either of you manage the world as it is, when neither of you feel well? If you had Chrons Disease or Kidney disease etc, would you ask for help and take it and get on medications to improve your life? Of course you would! So your ILLNESS's are JUST as valid and REAL as anyone elses! So you HAVE to ask for the help - be TOTALLY truthful with the doctors - and received and take that help! You cant get better without it!
When people talk to me or have met me, they would NEVER know that I have and suffer from a mental illness! I forget too, but every day I take my Cymbalta - and I thank GOD for this life saver - and I am almost back to the way I was before I became ill! Last night I went a visited a friend of mine in another city! So I stayed the night and I didn't have my pills with me! I was in SUCH a state last night - nightmares, anxiety, nervousness etc, but my girlfriend - who is a nurse - totally understood! I took my pain killers, but REALLY needed my anti anxiety and depression medication. But HAD to wait till I got home! I can't even comprehend the fact that I WOUDLN'T take my medication, because it has literally saved my life and sanity! So that is my wish for you both - for 2010 - to ask and receive and take the help that you both so desperately need! And I truly hope you have a TRUE Happy New Year!
Hi Dawn- Ive not ben at my doctors since the 1st of december. i couldnt get out of bed today, worried I may loose my job. i was sick this morning ( again!) but its not like real sickness, -and ddespite having been like this for a bit, Ive actually put the christmas cheer on my body!
My sister left today. i was a mes as i had left the phone of charger and it was flat and I couldnt phone work. the longer I waited for it to charge the more I paniced, and now I am worried that they will sack me~
I dont know about my stomach . Feels a bit lopsided. I was in a bad way earlier, but as i toll my medication I managed to go out with my daughter and we shopped ( which was some fun!)
I dont care for new year too much. Ive something like 8 days to get 2 essays done. Im thinking, I cant do all this and Im getting worse. I was thiking that maybe it was something up with my lungs -because I feel like im being strangled. Even when I was, I never threw up. In fact I think I remained relatively quiet throught that,.. I dont know why I cant stop it annoying my crazy head.It was so long a go and I [promised myslef never to be a victim to it!
Met my sisters boyfriend today. he seems like a really nice guy-but who knows???? My children cant understand why their auntie has had so many boyfriends, and they just realised today that one of her exs had died-you know 7 or was it an 8 yr fling with that guy.
Hm Im going to go now and feed my allready thunder thigh legs and perhaps sleep.
Anyway, all this about me ( again again and again )
How was your christmas?????
Hope you have a great New year. im just popping of here now to write about a suicide case. whoop whoop-Nahe studying includes watching a white christmas! Take care, Katy x
My sister left today. i was a mes as i had left the phone of charger and it was flat and I couldnt phone work. the longer I waited for it to charge the more I paniced, and now I am worried that they will sack me~
I dont know about my stomach . Feels a bit lopsided. I was in a bad way earlier, but as i toll my medication I managed to go out with my daughter and we shopped ( which was some fun!)
I dont care for new year too much. Ive something like 8 days to get 2 essays done. Im thinking, I cant do all this and Im getting worse. I was thiking that maybe it was something up with my lungs -because I feel like im being strangled. Even when I was, I never threw up. In fact I think I remained relatively quiet throught that,.. I dont know why I cant stop it annoying my crazy head.It was so long a go and I [promised myslef never to be a victim to it!
Met my sisters boyfriend today. he seems like a really nice guy-but who knows???? My children cant understand why their auntie has had so many boyfriends, and they just realised today that one of her exs had died-you know 7 or was it an 8 yr fling with that guy.
Hm Im going to go now and feed my allready thunder thigh legs and perhaps sleep.
Anyway, all this about me ( again again and again )
How was your christmas?????
Hope you have a great New year. im just popping of here now to write about a suicide case. whoop whoop-Nahe studying includes watching a white christmas! Take care, Katy x