I fell in love with much younger man

Hi. 

I'm new to the site and found it while searching younger man/older woman relationships.  I'm about to enter into one myself and I'm already feeling the guilt in it and thinking that the odds are so against this.  I'm 45, he's 27.  We actually have been involved with each other via phone and skype  over the past two months, and we are acutally meeting this weekend--finally. (We live three hours apart.)  We're both so excited for this to be happening.  He's mature, has dated older women in the past, and he claims he's not looking for children. He's like an old soul and we have so many significant beliefs in common about family, life, etc.  I'm trying to not think of the issues that come with our age gap, like the future, like his parents who don't approve it, like my mother who thinks it's ridiculous.  My daughter knows I'm interested in someone but she doesn't know his age--she hasn't asked much.  She's in college out of state.   

After reading some of the posts, I feel there's hope that a loving, respectful relationship can happen.  I just don't believe in forever in anything anymore.  I wonder when the day will come when he feels something is missing in his life--like kids.  Children at my age are out of the question for me and I've made it clear.  Again, he says he doesn't want that.  I will just take it day by day, and if we hit it off the way I'm expecting we will this weekend, I will just have to get used to the comments, criticisms that come with this type of relationship. 

I hope to update this thread in a couple months on my relationship status.  I was grateful to read the posts here.

 

:-)

This relationship is continuing to go well and feelings are growing deeper. I haven't been this happy in literally years.

I too am 64 and in love with a man of 44. He is married, he wants a family, his wife is 30. He pursued me for 3 yrs, I thought it was a joke. Then I agreed to meet him, it was then I realised he is the love of my life, he is the ONE. We have occasionally tried to be together, but due to the repressive society we live in, it is impossible for us to be together. I have told him 5 times that we should go our own ways, there have been long periods of not speaking or acknowledging each other. In the end he always come back to me. Now it is 4.5 yrs... We came to an understanding a few weeks ago to try again, then his wife picked up a txt from me on his phone. He got scared. We are totally obsessed with each other, the more we try to stop, the worse it gets. I told him again leave me alone, we should try to stay away from each other. I just don't know what to do.

Wow, so many of us.. I am a 54 year old woman who has been in a relationship with a man who is 30 years younger, for over 5 years.  Together through thick and thin and, it isn't about his age, but about our connection- we deeply love each other.  Yes we connected when he was barely over legal age, and we kept it platonic for a very long time, but after a certain point, well, resistance was futile, and in our opinion, silly.  I look back at when I used to judge men dating younger women very harshly and I am ashamed.  I didn't understand.

i feel exactly the same only im 50 he is 22. we have a wonderful time together and have a lot in common.i also am married and my husband no longer seems to acknowledge me.

Its great to hear of so many stories similiar to mine. I'm 34 and totally head over heals in love with an 18 yr old. We've been together for 2 years and theres plenty of story behind that. He lied about his age for the 1st yr. He's 6'3" about 275 lbs and looks a little older for his age. When I found out how old he really was it broke my heart. I broke up with him but it was too late. I already had strong feelings for him.. I have a 13 yr old son and a 12 yr old daughter. its funny when we all go out because you can see people trying to rack their brains figuring out what our relationships are to each other. And grown men usually ask if he's my son, although they could've just seen us kissing. (I think they are haters) Our families are cool with the situation and its mostly strangers that give us the hardest time but really? Who cares what anyone outside of our circle thinks. I was married for 12 years to someone that was a year older than me and this relationship is so different in comparison. He has some really great qualities, but life is not always easy. I have some insecurities, especially when it comes to younger women, but he assures me that I am his "dream woman". He makes me feel young and lets just put it out there ladies....the bedroom is where the magic happens!! Good luck to all of you in your pursuit of happiness!!

@ Hedi...Its been over 5 years since your orignal post...are you still with the younger guy???? Please update us!

I am not going to disrespect you for your feelings for this guy becuase I have been in love with a much younger man but he was not married. I eventually had to let go because of the pain that society and his family could cause but I still love him. In your case and I don't want you to think that I am judgemental, I would let go. He is married and cannot do anything for you and you are just setting up yourself for a lot of pain. He also wants a family and you cannot produce kids anymore. The relationship will end eventually. I have also seen how two of my girlfriends are hurting because of their husbands having other affairs. I don't want to hurt anyone so I will shy away from married men. Again, it has no future.

Hi yes, I know there is no future, we both know this. He says we are soulmates and he will know me forever, even though he says, we will pass through the phase of being a couple. My whole attitude to life and relationships has changed. I am never ever been unfaithful in 40 yrs of marriage, my husband and I are friends, he no longer wants me. I decided I would risk the pain as I know it will end, for a year or so of this love. He is my last love, which makes me sad too.......a friend of 82 told me I would be mad to turn away, getting old is no fun, but better when no regrets..... I think I now agree. 20 years ago I would have laughed at anybody who told me I would think this way. But thank you for your thoughts, I do appreciate them......

In my opinion, you are adults, age shouldn't matter. Society may/will frown on your relationship. If you both really are in love, the relationship will sustain you during the difficult challenging days/times that are ahead. Wishing you continued success as you move forward.

I'm 48, he's 29. At first, he said he didn't want kids some day. Now he says he does. It's awful knowing this man I love so much is simply "Mr. Right Now." I want something long term again (I was divorced 3 years ago and have been dating.) But I know it won't be with him. Part of me wants to end it now so as to avoid hurt later, but I can't let him go. His parents love and accept me. I look much younger.

Same here - just turned 48. He'll be 30 this year. I want to break up now, but I love him to much... you know, head off the hurt at the pass before i've invested too much of myself. We have so much fun together, great sex, his friends and family love and accept me..... Don't know what to do.

Wow, it is comforting and reassuring to see many more women speak out who are dating men much younger than them.  I am still involved with the younger man I posted about over a month ago.  We get along wonderfully, I'm happy when I'm with him, miss him when I'm not.  The age difference (45/27) is becoming less of an issue for me.  My mother isn't thrilled but is reluctantly and slowly coming around.  My daughter who is in college is sill not aware of the situation but she will be soon enough once her year is over.  I'm just going to keep moving along as we have and hope for a positive reacation from my daughter.  That could be the deciding factor if the relationship continues or not. I don't want to upset her or make her feel uncomfortable. 

Oh wow!!! I am 42 years old and married but separated....and have been for quite sometime now...I love my husband, but am not in love with him.  I have met a young man who is 33 years old....so sexy....smh...In any event, we are very much attracted to each other....because of our busy lifestyles we are limited on the time we spend together, but when we do...its like fireworks all over again...the sex is banana's and I love the way he adores me and thinks I look better than the younger ladies that he has dated....I am having a hard time with this because even though my husband and I are seperated, I would never want to hurt him....and I obviously dont want to let go of my friend...he makes me feel so good.  He is exciting, a dare-devil, has a wild side and a very sweet and caring side....a little (A.D.D.) but its ok...LOL!! and is ready to experience anything that I ask...My husband takes care of me but in ways that are ho-hum, same old same old...BLAH! However; I do love him...My friend does have a life of his own...he is dating someone, but doesnt want to be without me either...are we being selfish?  I know that (for me), he's not "marriage" material...but I dont want to let him go...He makes me smile (honest smiles) and not those fake ones you put on just to please those around you.  I love my husband but am IN LOVE with him......what to do.....

I have been here. I was seperarated from my husband and started a frirndship with a young man who was 29. I was 44. I ended up divorcing my husband because the marriage was in such disrepair. Once i filed for divorce i allowed myself to become involved with this man. We have a great relationship hes fun, adores me, already has kids and has a good head. Aside from him never been married the future seems clear. As much as possible i tried to not cross a certain line with him because i was married. Part me wants to tell u as long as u know dhere u stand with this guy go for it. But is ur marriage repairable and is he keeping u from doing wat u can to stay married. Do u want to stay married? If u have doubts about divorce and there is a chance perhaps u r shortchanging ur family marriage and husband for a selfish indulgence. Some people would say this may infuse life into your marrisge but are there risks that may be really bad. Just something to think about