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"Pain during fingering" ... First of all, be kind to yourself. There is no reason to hurt yourself in order to achieve an orgasm. (That said, by the way, some people find that a small, intentional level of pain -- such as using nipple clamps -- provides an extra boost to their overall stimulation when trying to achieve an orgasm. In this regard, you may find that if you accept the pain you are experiencing as part of the total "package" of sensations you are generating, and if you want your orgasm bad enough, you will "push through the pain" to get there, because then it will all seem worth it once you do. Fortunately, the sensation we call PAIN has no actual memory, so it shouldn't linger after you orgasm.) When MASTURBATING -- be careful how many fingers you are inserting into your vaginal opening (if that's what you are doing), or the size of whatever you are trying to insert in there to stimulate yourself. (see my G-spot advice, above) Each person is different, and has their own individual level of stimulation that they need to achieve in order to orgasm. Try to find the balance between the amount of stimulation you can achieve and the amount of discomfort it may cause you. For most people, pain is a turn-off to sexual feelings and can just throw a "bucket of cold water" on the whole affair. If your hymen (a thin piece of tissue that is stretched across your vaginal opening to protect it when you come "new from the factory") is still intact, that is likely to be what is causing your pain. During actual intercourse -- if it has not already been ruptured by physical activity, etc. -- it is usually split and pushed aside by the insertion of the penis (which is relatively soft, remember, when compared to a hair brush handle, a toothbrush or a vibrator, etc. being inserted for masturbation). When it is torn, it soon heals and withers away, or is discarded by the body like any other damaged tissue. It's an annoyance, I know, but that's the way females have all been designed. Many girls have problems inserting a tampon, for instance, while the hymen is still intact. You CAN ask a doctor to open it for you, in a quick and simple procedure much like having your ears pierced, which is usually done as an outpatient, in the doctor's office. But if you leave it in place for now, it may cause you some pain if you push at it too hard during masturbation, so be careful. Whatever you do, please take it easy, and try to be mindful and aware during your masturbation sessions.
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My first advice to you is to learn your body. In the last couple of years, it has been changing as you have become sexually mature. You probably know of most of this -- your breasts and genitals have changed, hair has likely grown in places that never had it before, and your shape is no longer he "neutral" shape of a child, but now begins to look like a woman. Places on your body are now generating pleasurable, sexual feelings where they might not have before, when you were younger. In your private time, take a few moments to explore your body and see what feels good. Don't limit your explorations to the obvious -- your genitals or your breasts -- since almost any place on your skin may be stimulated by kissing, stroking or licking. Stimulating your armpits, your ears, your neck, the inside of your thighs, your buttocks, back and belly button can all be in your "repertoire", so try them out as you attempt to masturbate. Remember, too, that someone making love with you will likely stroke, nibble or lick these areas during sex. Your marvelous, human body is already equipped to give you enough sensations to push you over the top into an orgasm. You don't actually NEED other things to achieve this. If all is well, your vagina will provide lubrication for the insertion of your fingers, and for the stimulation of your clitoris and G-spot. You MAY even have enough natural lubrication from your vagina to help if you want to insert a finger in your anus, an area also rich in sexual nerve endings. [one CAUTION -- if you DO try anal stimulation as you masturbate, please DO NOT put that finger inside your vagina, as you can bring bacteria from your backside to the front, which can result in a Urinary Tract Infection. Everything is in close proximity down there, so just be careful. Keep a packet of antibacterial wipes in your bedroom, perhaps, to clean your hands if you go there and can't stop to wash them. ... One more CAUTION -- your MOUTH is actually the dirtiest part of your body, believe it or not. So if you, say, suck on your fingers while stimulating yourself, the bacteria and viruses you pick up there can actually hurt you if you put them into your reproductive tract. So just be careful.) If you haven't already, consider using whatever is at hand in your own bedroom to stimulate you. Rubbing yourself against a pillow or favorite stuffed toy can feel good. Even a Barbie doll can serve in a pinch. Some girls rub their clitoris up against a chair or the edge of a desk. Look around your room to see what might be useful in this very private way. Finally, if you are worried about being able to shop for "toys" or lubricant to help you masturbate, try talking to your friends, first, to see what THEY use. AS a rule, EVERYBODY masturbates -- you're not alone in this. And you'll be surprised at how many household items are often used in masturbation! Whatever you do, be good to yourself, and have fun. Good Luck!
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