I think at puberty we start really noticing our erections because we're becoming sexually aware, and because things generally get bigger at that point. I know I was almost always erect even as a little kid, but it's not that I really paid any attention to it - it was just normal for me so I didn't really notice. I just have memories of it because of things my mom did, like taking me to the doctor to be sure nothing was wrong, since I was "always erect", and asking if pants were loose enough in front to be comfortable, and things like that. I don't really remember much awareness of it beyond that, though, and I only have a few scattered memories of anyone else paying any attention to it.
Funny that you say 8th grade though, because that's when I started finding it embarrassing. It wasn't that I was physically uncomfortable very often, it was that other people noticed the bulge, and the teasing started. I wasn't able to hide it, and even though it sometimes got mostly soft when I was sitting still, it never stayed that way for long and always got fully erect again as soon as I stood up. Also, I didn't get any relief from it when I exercised, it was exactly the opposite - exercise was pretty much a guarantee that I'd be erect - so I totally get the sportsclass part of it. Anyway, it took me a couple of years of embarrassment, but eventually I just accepted that there wasn't anything I could do about it. That doesn't mean I liked it, just that I refused to be embarrassed any more, and laughed about it instead of letting it bother me.
Ultimately I'm glad I went through all of that. I don't know how I'd handle my current situation if I hadn't. Yes I have a bad moment once in a while, but really not many any more. I completely understand being uneasy with erections, though - I've certainly been there - and the only advice I can give is to learn to ignore them. Pretend you don't even realize you're erect. It'll get to be a habit, and eventually you'll do it automatically. Finally, don't "check yourself out" in the mirror. It's easier to ignore if you don't have that visual in your head, because believe me, it's more obvious to you than it is to anyone else. Along with that, at least for me, is that I let my GF choose my pants. I try things on thinking only of comfort, and she decides how they look on me. If I'm comfortable and she's happy with how they look, it's a winner. I never look in the mirror. Besides, her taste is FAR better than mine anyway!
Funny that you say 8th grade though, because that's when I started finding it embarrassing. It wasn't that I was physically uncomfortable very often, it was that other people noticed the bulge, and the teasing started. I wasn't able to hide it, and even though it sometimes got mostly soft when I was sitting still, it never stayed that way for long and always got fully erect again as soon as I stood up. Also, I didn't get any relief from it when I exercised, it was exactly the opposite - exercise was pretty much a guarantee that I'd be erect - so I totally get the sportsclass part of it. Anyway, it took me a couple of years of embarrassment, but eventually I just accepted that there wasn't anything I could do about it. That doesn't mean I liked it, just that I refused to be embarrassed any more, and laughed about it instead of letting it bother me.
Ultimately I'm glad I went through all of that. I don't know how I'd handle my current situation if I hadn't. Yes I have a bad moment once in a while, but really not many any more. I completely understand being uneasy with erections, though - I've certainly been there - and the only advice I can give is to learn to ignore them. Pretend you don't even realize you're erect. It'll get to be a habit, and eventually you'll do it automatically. Finally, don't "check yourself out" in the mirror. It's easier to ignore if you don't have that visual in your head, because believe me, it's more obvious to you than it is to anyone else. Along with that, at least for me, is that I let my GF choose my pants. I try things on thinking only of comfort, and she decides how they look on me. If I'm comfortable and she's happy with how they look, it's a winner. I never look in the mirror. Besides, her taste is FAR better than mine anyway!
Yes, there's this leap forward which I remember very well, for me it happened only when I was 14. I had been hard before but all of a sudden, I started to be hard very often and my penis grew by 1" or so in maybe 2 months' time and when I was hard it was not standing horizontal or, as it used to do when really very hard, in a slightly upward angle, but nearly vertical. These were "hard" times lol!
I cant understand you guys with your shame. There's nothing better if you're hard than to be able to undress and let it stand be it in private or in public. It's such a pain to have it tucked in your pants when hard and it looks better hard than soft anyway.
Lol! Yeah, my girlfriend would totally agree with you that a guy looks better hard than soft, and I agree that having to tuck it into your pants when you're hard isn't much fun. Fortunately I'm not fully erect all the time, more like 70 or 75 percent, so I have a little flexibility, which helps. I primarily dress for comfort, though - pants that have some room - and I don't worry much about the bulge. Seriously, when there's nothing you can do about it, comfort is more important. As for shame, yeah I've been through that, and if you've read most of this thread, you know I've said many times that we shouldn't be ashamed, dressed or undressed. I'm not ashamed any more - I have a bad moment now and then, but not many, because I learned not to worry about what other people think. Kinda been my point all along. That, and also that an erection doesn't necessarily mean a guy is turned on, or that his mind is on sex.
I remember that puberty point too. It wasn't that I was hard more often, I was usually hard most of the time anyway, but suddenly I got bigger. I never was vertical though - that might have been easier - mine's always stuck straight out in front of me. I really don't remember how fast I developed, either, but it seems like it was pretty fast - I sort of remember looking at myself in a swimsuit once, and I was used to seeing my usual little tent in it, but the tent was much more obvious all of a sudden. I don't know if that was the first time I was self conscious about it, it might have been, but it didn't stop me from swimming. That was probably the summer between 7th and 8th grade.
I remember that puberty point too. It wasn't that I was hard more often, I was usually hard most of the time anyway, but suddenly I got bigger. I never was vertical though - that might have been easier - mine's always stuck straight out in front of me. I really don't remember how fast I developed, either, but it seems like it was pretty fast - I sort of remember looking at myself in a swimsuit once, and I was used to seeing my usual little tent in it, but the tent was much more obvious all of a sudden. I don't know if that was the first time I was self conscious about it, it might have been, but it didn't stop me from swimming. That was probably the summer between 7th and 8th grade.
my friend remembers that he's been erect at 7! of course his penis was only weeny then but still, that was right after his circumcision. he then got kind of used to it and the skin of his glans changed and became less sensitive anyway. but when adolescent he developed a real condition and he even went to a doctor's once when he was 13 and had been hard for a day on end but it was not priapism or at least not the one which is dangerous so he was told to just let it be. I must say I think it's gorgeous to see him be hard like that even if I know it's not because of me lol and I regret that we don't know the penis sheath as some peoples wear it in New Guinea for ex. where everyone seems to be erect all the time/ .out of fun I made boxer shorts and even a pair of sweatpants for him with a pouch to put his penis into and he actually liked it a lot and together with his sister we had a good laugh. The sweatpants of course he only wears in private but the shorts he uses as underwear regularly and also at home without anything else whereas before he used to stay naked in order to feel at ease. Most of his friends know about his condition and actually admire him for his freedom. All this in order to say: be hard if your penis wants to be hard, stay hard and have fun. You're beautiful, guys!
I don't remember exactly how old I was when my mom took me to the doctor because I was almost always hard. I didn't really understand what all the fuss was about, nor do I remember everything that was done, but it was very similar - basically that there was nothing wrong, it's just how my body works. Mom just wanted to be sure I was okay. She didn't really modify clothes much, like your sweatpants and boxers, just mostly bought me things that had room in the front because she was afraid I'd be uncomfortable. (I wasn't).
These days I pretty much do the same thing with clothes.... I dress for comfort. Actually, I let my girlfriend pick out most of my pants - I try them on for comfort, and she decides how they look. She's much better at that than I am! I don't usually stay naked at home, I never felt the need to do that, I'm usually in loose shorts or in baggy sweats in cold weather.
Yes, friends know - it's not as though I can hide it. I don't know if anyone admires me for the freedom, no one's ever said that - I think they mostly just ignore it, actually. I've been asked occasionally if I'm uncomfortable or embarrassed, but that's about it. Women stare sometimes, once in a while I notice a guy looking, but I rarely pay much attention to any of that.
Anyway, it's nice to know that some people find this condition beautiful. I know my GF does, and I know she's not alone, but it's nice to hear once in a while!
These days I pretty much do the same thing with clothes.... I dress for comfort. Actually, I let my girlfriend pick out most of my pants - I try them on for comfort, and she decides how they look. She's much better at that than I am! I don't usually stay naked at home, I never felt the need to do that, I'm usually in loose shorts or in baggy sweats in cold weather.
Yes, friends know - it's not as though I can hide it. I don't know if anyone admires me for the freedom, no one's ever said that - I think they mostly just ignore it, actually. I've been asked occasionally if I'm uncomfortable or embarrassed, but that's about it. Women stare sometimes, once in a while I notice a guy looking, but I rarely pay much attention to any of that.
Anyway, it's nice to know that some people find this condition beautiful. I know my GF does, and I know she's not alone, but it's nice to hear once in a while!
The other day my brother's GF told us that she felt ashamed for him because of his hard-ons. He's always been the hard one, I had of course erections during puberty but nothing like his, there's a 5 year difference between us so when he started mine had come to an end anyway, because since the end of puberty I've practically never a spontaneous hard-on except in the morning of course. At the beginning I told him that it was normal and that I was the same but then it became clear that I had not been the same at all. Anyway, he learned to live with it but his GF was surprised to see him in swimming briefs with his hard-on in front of her friends and felt ashamed because the other giggled and made silly remarks. She likes the fact that he's hard all right but she'll need time to adjust. They're to have holidays at the sea a couple of weeks from now and it's clear that everyone will notice that he's hard. But then as he says if he doesn't show he can't bathe and it's not as if he was wearing trunks where his penis would simply stand.
I think it's an interesting distinction that the gf feels ashamed FOR him rather than OF him. Also that she likes that he's always hard. I think you're right - she'll adjust in time. What I'd say to her is that rather than feel ashamed, she should be supportive. Your brother, on the other hand, seems to have accepted his situation and doesn't let it bother him much. To both of them I'd say just laugh the silly remarks off. If the others are around him much, they'll get used to his erections and it'll stop being much of an issue. Also, be straightforward about it and make it clear that it's not arousal, it's just how his body works - if he's comfortable doing that. Certainly the gf should be doing that too. I'm not shy about my own situation - when people comment, I just explain what happened to me, and most understand. Yes, there will always be a few who can't handle it, but you can't worry about that - whatever their feelings about it, it's their problem. They generally can't really help how they feel for whatever reason, so just accept it.
Secondarily, as I've said, my first priority is comfort. Yes, there are situations when I wear compression shorts to minimize what shows because sometimes that's the right thing to do. (A funeral, for example.) Also, I don't wear things that intentionally emphasize my erection. What I'm getting to, though, is swimming attire. I know that no matter what I wear for swimming, it's obvious that I'm erect - there's nothing I can do about it. Rather than check myself out in a mirror and agonize over how much shows, I let my gf choose my swimwear. Okay, I'm not going to wear a Speedo no matter how much she likes it (not an issue anyway) but loose trunks that let my penis just stand? What's the difference? I don't see where that's any worse than something that's tighter and outlines my entire penis, which actually makes me feel like I'm flaunting it. The point is, I'd tell your brother to wear whatever he's most comfortable in and not worry about it. I hope he and his gf have a wonderful time on holidays!
Secondarily, as I've said, my first priority is comfort. Yes, there are situations when I wear compression shorts to minimize what shows because sometimes that's the right thing to do. (A funeral, for example.) Also, I don't wear things that intentionally emphasize my erection. What I'm getting to, though, is swimming attire. I know that no matter what I wear for swimming, it's obvious that I'm erect - there's nothing I can do about it. Rather than check myself out in a mirror and agonize over how much shows, I let my gf choose my swimwear. Okay, I'm not going to wear a Speedo no matter how much she likes it (not an issue anyway) but loose trunks that let my penis just stand? What's the difference? I don't see where that's any worse than something that's tighter and outlines my entire penis, which actually makes me feel like I'm flaunting it. The point is, I'd tell your brother to wear whatever he's most comfortable in and not worry about it. I hope he and his gf have a wonderful time on holidays!
Up to my early 20ies I tried to hide my boner when on the beach or at a swimming pool and then I decided that I didn't give a damn about it. A few years later I was on a beach with my friend and I had a boner and because my trunks were a bit loose they were stretched to the point where they didn't fit any more opened and she asked me, since it was a clothing optional beach why I didn't just take them of which I did. Best thing I ever did it liberated me completely/
Yeah, I had kinda the same experience last year. First time at a nude beach, and I was really nervous about it, and only did it because my gf wanted to. It worked out fine, though, and it really is pretty liberating! We're going to do it again when we can.
I go to nude beaches and resorts for over 10 years now, erections are very rare though there are the occasional ones and also the occasional guy who has one more often than the others. For my part, the more relaxed I feel the more easily I get hard. I usually have a few partial erections in the course of a day with my penis swelling and rising a bit but not to the point where it would really stand, but for ex. this year we stayed there for 2 weeks and only eight times did I have a full erection in public, once because my morning wood wouldn't go away and my wife didn't want to wait, so we left the room like that, that same day in the supermarket and later again on the beach, another time walking on the street, the other times on the beach. But the couple of friends who introduced me to nude beaches, he had 2 or 3 erections each day in addition to the morning wood he always went out with and they lasted for a long time but he acted very natural about it. When you can't beat it, don't fight it!
Definitely - just ignore it. I think when you're with your wife/girlfriend as a couple people don't pay a lot of attention to it. You're not a threat or a perv I guess. If you're walking up and down the beach alone, I think it's probably a different story, sorta like you're trying to be noticed or something. Anyway, I'll go again because my girlfriend wants to, and next time I don't think I'll feel so nervous - I think it'll be fine.
A nude beach can also be tricky that way. 2 weeks ago I spent a few days in Cap d'Agde, not staying there but coming in the morning and leaving in the evening, We stayed at a friends' not far away. The first day we went to a normal beach but my girlfriend and the other friend wanted to take off their top but they didn't dare because there was no other woman doing topless. Our friend uses to go to the nude beach with her partner so with my girlfriend they decided to go the next day and convinced me to come along. I was afraid of an erection and in the evening I told my gf so but she said "so what" and that was that. We had to walk for a km on the beach before reaching the nudist resort but it's already a nude beach (it's actually the ill famed part of the beach with a lot of sex going on in the afternoon), so we undressed. I started to get hard the moment I was naked and I tried to put the bag in front of me while walking. Our friend's partner told me not to worry it would go away and he was right. When we reached the village my penis was still large but it wasn't standing anymore and for the next couple of hours it was changing between soft and half hard but nothing ot be ashamed of. Then we went to a supermarket to buy water. It is in a gallery and the people who work there are all dressed. This made me very self conscious and when we were queuing I started to get hard. I didn't have my bag so I had to let it happen hoping for the best. When our turn came I was half hard and my penis started to rise. By the time we had paid I was half erect and my penis stood almost horizontally. I felt ashamed, but I had eye contact with the cashier and she smiled at me in a lovely way and I felt immediately more at ease. My gf teased me about it and kissed me and our friends made also a funny remark and all this made me feel better but my erection got stronger and when we were outside of the store my penis was fully erect. Our friend asked me if I felt more comfortable going back to the beach or if I wanted to stay in the village, having a drink and looking at the shops. I decided to go with it and to stay hoping that the erection would go away soon but it didn't, it became weaker but it always went back to its full state soon after. That was also because before I had tried not to look at my gf's and our friend's breasts (which I had never seen before) but now that my erection had happened I allowed myself to get aroused. But it was really the fact to be with people who were dressed and being naked myself which provoked my erection in the first place.
I always get an erection when I'm naked with others, be they themselves naked or dressed. I never understood how it worked. Part of me gets aroused by that fact but it's not as if I were really exhibitionist or something like that but it provokes very strong and lasting erections. I never felt ashamed about it nor did I ever have the impression that others were offended by it. I've even had a very good friend who knew from other boys that I was frequently hard who offered me to undress at her place in order to feel more at ease, so I had to tell her that that would precisely trigger my erection. Later she became an arts student and she asked me to be her model for a work. When showing her drawings, she explained to her teacher that I was naturally hard and he then invited me to one of the classes because he thought it could be a good exercise to have to look at a man with an erection without drawing something erotic.
In the swimming pool or on the beach I usually wear briefs beneath my short or trunks in order to make sure. Nothing is more embarrassing in my experience than an erection in trunks which do not hold the penis back at least, close to the body. So when I get an erection part of my penis sticks out of the briefs but stays inside the trunks and of course you see the shape of my penis but at least it doesn't raise a tent.