I'm pregnant and married but my husband doesn't want it, what should i do?;

Well if he accepted the first child, maybe you will not have problems with this one as well. People can change and adapt to all kinds of situations. I hope that he will adapt to this one.

Maybe try to talk to your or his parents about it or go to counseling. Have you thought about this?

WOW! That's ashame! I don't mean to judge but how dare you play God! He allowed this to happen.... if doctor's told you that you wouldn't have your cycle for 12 months yet you still got pregnant, obviously it was God that allowed it to happen. We are all held accountable for our decisions and even though you were only 5-6 weeks, the baby still had a heart beat and was a living being! I am 7 1/2 weeks with my 3rd little blessing and I am having complications and don't know if I will be blessed to meet this child. I think it's selfish to take away a life. If anything, you could have had the baby and put it up for adoption... why does killing it have to be the way to go. You could have blessed a family that can not have children!!! Part of our job here on earth is to replenish and multiple... that's one of the MAIN reasons to be married. I pray for you b/c one day you will regret this sad decision. :'(

I was a professor of mathematics for 47 years and known to be a good counselor. Many students, including many who were never in my classes sought my help. Your problem came up several times. I can't counsel you because I don't know you but I will tell you this. None of the women who went ahead and kept their baby ever told me they regretted doing so. Among those who did not keep their baby all but two regretted their decision and several could never undo their guilt feelings.

You got into this together. Your husband does not sound like the kind of person I'd want to have to depend on.

Good luck and G-d bless!

I have a similar problem. i am 3 months pregnant and my boyfriend wants nothing to do with it all he wants is to see the baby out. i am not working but i really want this baby i dont know wat to do. help

I can't believe the number of women who are going though exactly what I'm going through. :-(

Hi there! I hope everyone on here is managing to sort through their struggles. It's been 2 years since i opened this post....since my termination. Thought i'd give those that helped and offered their advice on here an update on things. Since the termination it's been a long road to coming to terms with things but i think i have finally got there! I think the last time i updated on here i told you had left my husband and couldn't be happier, this continues to be the case! Every day was a struggle and a fight to just get up after the termination but with everyday i can categorically say without fear that it has got easier. Of course it goes without saying that i think about it everyday, just like you would when you grieve for the loss of any loved one i guess. But i have come to terms with what was a traumatic experience into a positive one, i can now see that i have been given a second chance at life to do all the things i could have only hoped and dreamed of it i'd gone ahead and had the baby. I leave this country in 12 days to go travelling and to see some of the world with no intentions of returning! :-) Like i said it's been a long and slow road but this is my opportunity now to do these things before i settle down and have a family, i at least owe it the life i was not allowed to bring into this world to do something with the second chance of life i've been given. I will miss the little one i never got to, or was never allowed to see everyday of my life even though we never met, but i will live my life now as i would have wanted them to live theirs....to the full. Luv to all. N.B.

I also am in a relationship of 10 years and accidently got pregnant on the pill while taking antibiotics. My fiance always said he wanted kids just NOT NOW==I am currently 16 weeks pregnant and no decision about abortion there once was but I chose not to and now i cry everyday cause every weekend he tells me how he does not want this baby*even after seeing it on at least 4 ultrasounds) I am at the point where I always thought I loved him to much to leave him but he is making me feel so horrible about this and telling me how it is ruining his life. I never wanted to ruin his life but I was scared to have an abortion. He says he always wanted me to have a abortion but really we always avoided the subject till it was too late in pregnancy. Now i am stuck as a 39 year old woman in love more than I ever have been to a man who hates me for having his child in me??? I want to leave but he is so depressed I am scared he will hurt himself or just give up? And what good would that do cause he is the type of man who would never just leave and not be a part of a kids life? I only want to leave cause I feel as though I have ruined his life. I actually wish I would miscarry or be in a car accident just to end the situation. I feel like if I don't leave I am being selfish yet I don't want to leave I LOVE HIM with all my heart and HE NEVER asked for this child. I was on the pill. He made it clear he does not want kids NOW. I get the feeling maybe its just he does not want them with me? He is 32 alot younger than me? I cry every day with extreme guilt and can not talk to anyone. I have made him so sad and in pain. I never wanted this. I wanted a child with him only if it was a happy thing NOT like this!!!!!! I think it will get better after baby is born but why should I cry everyday and make him miserable every day? I KNOW I SHOULD LEAVE I guess I am too in love and scared. I want a family. I have 2 grown daughters in their 20"s and me and my ex always hated each other. I finally am in love and now its all for nothing??? any suggestions? He is not a bad man just a man who does not want a kid and didnt want to hurt me by making or asking me to have an abortion. He really is a great man. I guess I should leave and let him figure out what he wants in life and see if I am part of it anymore? lonely and sad in PA
:-(

i think you should keep it because it is your baby and god gave you a baby for a reason if your husband doesnt likethe fact at first he will grow whem he sees how beautiful it will be. just watch bc if he dnt and i meaning this to be mean or anything but if he dnt he could become abuseive toward you and or the child. i wish you luck with your pregancy and life with tat child.

he obvisly dont love you enough and hunn he aint worth getting upset over it will hurt the baby in the long run i know this isnt very helpful but i would leave him. if your scared do it while he is at work and hv a good guy friend there when you tell him incase he would try to hurt you and the unborn baby. hope all goes well

I also am in this situation. I have been with my boyfriend for 11 years he's36 I'm 30. For the last two years we have been dicussing and or fighting about eventually having a child. Until recently I have really had very overwhelming feelings of wanting a child. I suspect it has to do with his brothers son who is 3 and we babysit quite often and overnight as well. My boyfriend and him adore each other and it's neat to see their bond. He has been under a lot of pressure with his family, his grandpa is I'll and needs 24 hour care and my boyfriend stays overnight with him a couple nights a week. His father is also going through illness right now and has to help out his mother with things everyday. I also help driving to appts. Etc. My boyfriend is one of many siblings and many grandchildren and yet is the only one who is called on and does whatever needed. Recently we finally came and agreed we would start trying for a baby. I got pregnant right away, I was so scared and shocked I never thought that would happen so fast. I told my boyfriend and his reaction was awful. He said he is not ready to be a dad, he doesn't want to be a dad, apparently I forced this on him and he is too stressed and is pulled in too many directions, and doesn't want this child. He wants me to have an abortion. I am so upset by his decision, he is dead set on it. I told him that will kill the baby and our relationship with it. But it's a risk he's willing to take. If I do this I know I'm going to hate him for it forever. And to this he thinks that I don't love him in the first place. I am so upset. It's a lose lose situation.

if this happened again you would not be making the same decision???what makes your next baby anymore precious than this one?im sorry if you take offence but you are a cold woman making this decision on a selfish selfish man.your child did not ask to be concieved,nor did it ask to die

Im just going to be totally honest.
If your husband can be so cruel & immature about this, then why are you with him ?
It takes 2 !! If he was sooooo determind not to have a baby why hasnt he had the snip yet ?
Im sorry but this makes me mad. Hes hurting you no matter what you do. He should man up & take responsibility for his actions !!
There are 15 year olds out there who are more of a man than him.

You shouldnt be with someone so heartless, you obviously feel more than him !!
This isnt love, he sounds controlling ... Get out of there & take him for every penny he has got ... He should wise the F up then


Sorry but kids like him make me furious !!
This is an innocent life were talking about . A small , tiny , innocent human being who only ever asks for love !! Who is this man to make you play "god" ????
There are people out there desperate to have children but cant, and he just wants you to flush it away like a piece of rubbish ????

He really needs a reality check !!

Hi, just found out that I am about 2 weeks pregnant and my husband is very adamant that he dies not want anymore children.(we hav a little gift) I really want this baby, not sure if my husband will be the same in our relationship. What do I do?

I know that you were dealing with this issue over a year ago, but some of the responses here were rather self centered.  I found this chain because I am in a similar situation.  My husband begged and begged for a baby.  I finally said yes, and told him that we could have a baby whenever he wanted.  We'd successfully used coitus interuptus for almost eight years, and we agreed that he would no longer pull out.  We discussed that it might happen the first time, or not for many months.  It happened the second time.  Now he doesn't want it.  The experience has made it clear to me that he is not a healthy partner for me, but I never wanted to be a single mother, and I'm not going to be a single mother because my husband doesn't know his own mind/is a selfish jerk.  

Hi!

Today I was so sad that I did a general Internet search that lead me to this topic. To my surprise I did not expect to see so many people going through exactly what in currently going through, I  though I was alone. I am currently 3 yrs married and 15 weeks pregnant. I have been through a roller coaster of emotions. My husband did not under any circumstance want a 2nd child. We currently have a 2 1/2 year old boy. He begged me to get an abortion, he told me how this would ruin everything, financially, emotionally and put at risk on our marriage.  I told him that if I got an abortion it will be the end of our marriage and that he would loose me anyways.
Ten years ago I made the mistake of having an abortion because i was treated with being left alone as a single mom and how horrific it will be be for my family and social image to be a single mom. I was ignorant and scared so i did it. It took me over 3 years to recover and out of this experience was how I was able to stand my ground and keep my baby. I thought about how I could look into my sons eyes and how would I live with knowing that I had killed his little sibling.
Currently my husband doesn't even mention the baby,  Its as if my belly is growing but nothing is commented, no support, no happiness like our 1st baby. I feel very sad and alone and frankly I feel that my feeling for him have changed. I get easily irritated by anything he says and sometimes wish he would just walk out of my life.
Any advice out there for me :-(