Is it normal my husband masturbates too much ? Newlewed

Hey, let me tell ya...I had a similar beginning in our relationship. But since being married ... I know for a fact that he mastubates at least 2x per day!!!!! I am horrified. He won't really talk about it, just keeps promising that he will stop. It is driving me completely crazy. I'm thinking of going to counseling & wondering if I should actually stay married to him. Anyone? Let me know your thoughts

I'm a married man that masterbates on average 3 times a day, everyday. I've been doing it for many years. I'm now 42 and love to have sex with my wife but sometimes it just doesn't feel the same. Either I'm tired or she's not into it as much. Whatever the case may be, when I jerk off. I know how to tear it apart. If she jerks me off it's not the same. She don't grip hard enough or her arm gets tired. If she starts to play with herself well then it's a whole new game. It's more exciting then. And if you don't want to touch yourself, then help him out. Rub his balls or give them a lick. But guys jerk off because it's a great feeling and we know how we want it to be done. Plus we can just relax and lay there. That's how it is for me anyway.

I guess I have a more serious problem my husband masturbates no kidding about 3xa day maybe more, so once a wk is nothing and he wants sex on top of that, I think he has a problem

We've been married over 30 years and I masturbate. Have masturbated regularly since puberty. We have a great sex life. I let my wife know early in our relationship that I masturbate. When I told her she said she knew because guys masturbate. It has worked out nicely through the years, I enjoy the sexual balance of masturbation and sex with her.
Not sure why you freeze up when he starts to play with himself lying next to you. He is fair game sexually at that point, just waiting for you to tell him how hot he is touching himself and to move on over because we are going to have fantastic sex! He is inviting you to have sex with him. That is the only reason why I masturbate next to my wife, to hope I get lucky even after she declined my offer that evening.
Do not feel like it is you because it is not. Women misread male masturbation. Now we are living together I did not realize how much he masturbates, but we were having great sex before we got together. He was masturbating that much maybe more when he was living alone and having great sex. Masturbation has nothing to do with it. He really is too tired to have partner sex after a long day. Try to have sex in the morning, a guys T levels are usually higher then anyway, and he is well rested.
A woman does not realize if she gives her man masturbatory freedom the sex will be better because he will be sexually happier.

You must come to grips with the fact that your fiancé does no longer want to have sex with you. You must find a way to cope, and find the strength to move on. This situation is not normal, and do not believe it is something that can or will go away. I am sorry, but I believe he is more interested in pornography and masturbation than you. He has given up on you long ago. He may not find you attractive either because pornography provides up to 30 willing sex queens in one given masturbatory session, so why and how could he be interested in plain old vanilla? Porn is ruining men and women. Human sexual dysfunction is rampant. The worst part is no one even admits it is a problem. Good luck! You are worth more and deserve more than this. A selfish man is not a good catch.

I'm a man, in my early 40s. I know this is a very old post.

However I feel the need to comment on this from a male perspective. I'm recently single again. By choice and have been dating somewhat.

Masturbating for a man is a normal, healthy thing.

The way I see it is simple. Having sex with a woman is great. However it can be very demanding, you have to be careful, make sure she is pleased. Some women are extremely difficult. The last woman I dated could only orgasm in one particular position that wasn't pleasing to me in fact. I was doing it to oblige her and please but I had nothing in return. That's one thing.

Masturbating alone sometimes is a lot easier. Also, no-one expecting anything from us. It's pleasure for ourselves, not bound to anything/anyone else.

I have a lot of responsibilities, work (Senior executive in a large public company) and private life. People demand & expect things from me ALL the time. You know what? Masturbating alone is the ONE pleasure where no-one expect anything from me. Sometimes as a man you just some 'quick' pleasure when no-one has any expectations. It's a great release of tension. Sometimes, often, it's needed.

Yes, it's selfish, maybe? so? Personally if my partner masturbates alone, I have no problem with that. There is no need for that type of drama between two people who love each other. Acceptance is key. Now when I date women I am very upfront as soon as possible. If they don't accept it/aren't secure enough with this then it means we aren't for each other.

My ex-wife loved masturbating. I was mindful of it when I was catching her. We had a simple rule. Sometimes I asked her if she wanted company. I knew it was her pleasure so I would make sure she was satisfied. If she said no and I was turned on I would go next to her and masturbate too. Otherwise I would just leave her alone knowing that later she would see her with a smile. Priceless.

She would do the same thing with me.

Now we broke up because she wanted kids and I didn't. But our sex life was good even though we both were masturbating frequently.

Why are you thinking of leaving him? Men are cursed with testosterone. This causes the primal urge to do it. It's not about you. Unless of course you're one of those women who constantly rejects her bloke. Then he has every right to do it. Ask him if you can join in, do it for him etc. I'd love my partner to do that but,no, she wants control so we get it on about twice a year. I do it every day at least once. It helps me keep my stress levels manageable which in turn makes me a nicer person for her. You are wasting your relationship with a good man a passing up the chance to join souls with him. Try asking him if you can help, but stop thinking its all about you and how he doesn't want you, he does.

Exactly right. Thanks.

I definitely feel your pain and starting to wonder if I made a mistake or not. For the most part, our marriage is good except in the sex dept. When we do have sex, i am completely satisfied but his watching porn and masturbating multiple times a week, while no sex for months even if I try to initiate the sex. I've given up trying because of always being rejected. I'm heartbroken because I love him with all my heart but a sexless relationship for months on end in the past 10-15 years (first 10 years were great!) Is getting old and destroying my self esteem :-(

Wow you seriously need to dump him me and my have sex 3 times a week and are married now for over 2 years. I think women are so beautiful and want to have sex with them of course my wife. Time to find somebody else just saying life is too short.

I guess my issue is this....we have sex almost everyday depending on our schedules. We enjoy oral sex(me giving a blow job or a hand job) him using his hands. I have amazing orgasms that way. But(and here's the problem) I am always willing and I do most of the work an he still says he will be in soon(to bed) and then while waiting I fall asleep. I wake up and go into the living room and he's jerking off to porn! First comes hurt an anger, then disappointment and disbelief. He chose to stay up late to jerk off to other women, not me. I caught him and was so hurt I couldn't look at him. It made me feel sick to my stomach. He said sorry and didn't get why I was upset. Time passed and I caught him again which made me madder and more hurt be cause he knows how I feel. I thought he would care enough to do the right thing. He tries to hide it from me but I am not stupid. He erases his history on his computer which no one does unless they are hiding something(he has 2tablets but only one has erased history) and sometimes he falls asleep and leave the tablet on his lap over his opened shorts which is obvious. I also see cum stains on his underwear . I do his laundry duh!)Long story short ....Masturbation turns me on and doesnt bother me....what bothers me is him getting off to other women(porn)

I give him sex when ever he wants. In the 7 years we have been together I have prob. Said no a small handful of times bc I was tired from working all day. But it's pretty rare. Him he masterbates every morning while watching porn. I do it sometimes maybe once a week. Bc even tho I know exactly where my spot is I prefer him the real hot deal. And he has refused sex a lot of times way more than I ever have. I even offer oral or ha****b which he has kindly accepted. But I want him not just that. I have even done all the work and rode him many times till he's done.

He works in a corporate setting 60 hrs a week, he works very far from home and is only home 2-3 nights out of the week. Which makes me want him even more bc I can't always have him bc he is not here. His man reason is "I had a long day I'm tired" ok I understand. and same has happens to me but I go for the sexy bc I know I will feel really good :) and it's way better than having stress from work in your head. So when he says I'm tired I say ok and ill offer anything else other than actual sex. I have even tried waking in the morning w him and he usually says "I just woke up I need to jerk to actually wake up I have no energy or am not up for the challenge"lol. And rather a bj or Hj instead. :(
It's annoying and it not like I'm some crazy ugly nagging woman. I am confident sophisticated and sexy ! 38-25-40. But I guess that just isn't enough. But I try really hard to accept and understand him. But I'm deff not getting no where near what I require.

My husband, of two years, masturbates at least 4 times a week. He tries to hide it and when I try to talk to him about it he gets angry. He claims he isnt doing it even though I have found ample proof. He says that I shouldn't even ask him about it. We had gone 3 months without sex and he claimed it was because he was stressed, but I feel like that wasn't it. Over the last month or so we started having sex about once a week but he still jerks off. I am unhappy not because he is jerking off but because he is lying. I even caught him in the act and he claimed that was the only time he had done it. I asked if he wanted to watch open together so we could have some sexy time lol,but that didn't work. We literally almost split 3 days ago because of the lying. He says I don' t trust him because I don't believe him. But if I didn't find evidence almost daily I would have no reason to question him. He told me that if I got a vibrator it would upset him and make home feel like he wasn't enough. Well how do you think I feel sometimes? I don't know what to tell you. But at least you aren' t alone.

My husband hides it too and I don't know why. I'm willing to have sex anytime but for some reason he goes to "use the bathroom" and there it is in the dirty laundry. He says he doesn't know what happened and gets angry if I persist. I'm 27 and he is 26 so he should want to have sex with me, not jerk off in a wash cloth all the time. I'm not really upset about him watching porn or thinking about one of the. Porn stars while he is going at it. Mainly because of one of them were right there in front of him and he asked her to have sex with him they'd laugh in his face and walk off. Not that my husband isn't attractive, because he is. I'm not sure why they feel the need to lie.

Thank God you haven't married him, DON'T DO IT! It will not get better it will only get worse. Take it from me, I've been married for 23 years and sex was awesome once upon a time. Thank you internet porn, easy access right in his pocket all day long, he has developed a penchant for asian girls, specifically japananese and masturbates to them every time he's alone in the house, and lies about it. He stopped showing affection, not romantic at all anymore, NEVER initiates sex anymore, and when we do have sex he gets right down to business, no foreplay really, just straight to oral. Me first, then him, EVERY SINGLE TIME! Spontaneity, gone. Hard to be spontaneous when you've already taken care of yourself. No flirting, no variety, NO FUN! After trying to talk to him about it and asking him to try not to do it and see what happens between us be told me be wouldn't do it anymore. But we all know what happened there...nothing got better and I suggested he wasn't being honest with me, then told me i was crazy. So I bought an audio recorder and started recording him in the bathroom after work and guess what.....turns out I'm not crazy. I wish I knew this is how it would be down the road before I said yes, i would have totally given him a different answer. So my advice to you is say NO! There are men out there that don't watch porn, men that think sex is special gift that bonds 2 people in marriage. Unfortunately most men do not feel that way these days. Very sad :-(