My partner, whom i was very in love with, convinced me to have an abortion. Months later I blame him for persuading me to do it. He is not from this country and he claimed he loved me but when it happened he threatened to leave the country, said we are doing this for our future(he is in school and working). Ever since then we had on and off again relationship. I have been pushing him away and blaming him, and getting angry and sad, and i feel like I want to punish him for something I didn't want to do. The mixed feelings of love and hate are incredibly hard for me to understand. I know he loves me but he doesn't know how to handle me and says maybe one day you will understand me. I'm currently not seeing him and trying to regain myself, it's so hard because he is the only person i have loved like this. I come from a good family and never thought it would happen to me. I am 29 and feel like the life i wanted, husband/children is slipping away from me. I want to see a therapist but even low cost 30 dollars a week I cant do right now. I don't have the time as well because I am also in school/working. He doesn't want to talk about it anymore, but i want him to feel the emotional pain like i do, but he does not. I want a future with him and it would happen if i was sweet and kind all the time, but i am too proud, so i go without him.
I am 23 and it might sound very unusual but its my gf going to have the procedure done tomorrow.
We found out a week ago that she was 7weeks pregnant and this news greeted me with shock as this was very much
unplanned. When it came to the decision making I was very much ready to take care of my own baby as we were both responsible but lo and behold she told me that she wants to abort. I had mixed feelings of anger, sadness and most importantly guilt. Her reason was she is not ready for motherhood and had goals she wanted to accomplish. I tried and tried my best to try convince her that bringing a human life will never ever be the reason someone shouldn't proceed with their goals. She went to a pro-choice counselor and is fully convinced she is going to do it and is very determined it. I am so numb towards her as I feel i will never ever know what sort of person the baby was going to be because of selfish ambition. I understood where she came from but I reiterated to her that there is no justification to deliberately ending human life. I am in immense grief right now as I am dealing with the fact that tomorrow an innocent soul will leave because the mother feels the time is not "right". N one is born into parenthood we both fulltime jobs and have our aspirations and goals but that will never be justification to kill. I haven't been able to hug, kiss or cuddle her as normal because she is denying the same opportunity to an innocent baby because she is not ready for motherhood. I suggested adoption and I guaranteed and promised her i would even take care of both her and the baby irregardless but I guess to no avail. I don't know what to do to stop this have bought a tree to plant after she has done the procedure so that another life through a tree begins as well. I would have loved to keep my child
This is all EXACTLY what I've been feeling. After a failed marriage and a 5 year old I panicked when I got pregnant after a couple of months of knowing someone. Financial instability etc, wanted baby but didn't want to be single with 2 children etc. Feelings of doubt and severe anxiety so I had a late term abortion. I wanted another child so badly too, now I feel like I can't even allow myself to wish or hope of more children because of what I've done and I resent bf for not being strong enough to stop me.. I prayed her would, the night before appointment I prayed he would stop me somehow but he didn't - and now I suffer the torment of my own choice.
I know exactly how you feel. I'm 33 years old and ended up pregnant in September. I have always wanted children....the situation was not a good one but, I feel my body deceived me as well. I was going nuts until I had my abortion. I felt like I wanted to scratch my skin off. It was the worst feeling in the world. It is disturbing.....I'm not regretting my decision, but I am living with a ton of depression now and can't snap back.
hi i had an abortion in july of 2012 i feel so horriable about myself ive bottled up my emotions with what has been done but when someone brings up the subject of abortions my face turns beet red and i cant help but run away and cry and it gives it away... i hate myself for doing but it was the best thing for me to do.. my boyfriend of 2 years has had a very rough life being homeless and living in halfway houses when i became pregnant he was living in a half way house with 4 other people the half way house had penis roaches everywhere and mice everywhere we could even hear them in his room. we had to have a abortion he was with me threw everything we wanted it so bad but neither of us had money and still dont couldnt have a baby live in that house when i got the day i went in for the abortion we didnt know where to go so we asked a older lady (stupid us) where to go she gave us the wrong place to walk by we had to past a bunch of protesters telling us we were going to hell.. we both started crying. i havent been the same since im angry sad alll the time i cry alot my mom throws it in my face that she paid for it... i am now diagnoased with depression and have very bad anixty where i cant even look at someone and talk to them like i use to becuase i feel ashmed and on top of that me and my boyfriend dont have sex as much anymore bc im afraid of getting preganant again.. and we fight but we love each other so much and have been trying our best to get threw this my boyfriend is an amazing human and im greatful hes still with me threw the hard times.. im just worried i will go to hell for what i have done:( sorry this is so long hizgrace4all plz help
@IM SO SORRY I DIDNT MEAN TO PUT PENIS OF ALL THINGS.... i meant penis roaches sorry
cockroaches i mean the bug roaches sorry....
Dont worry, everything will be okay. Just another chance to focus on your career, and your life. make it count.
I had two abortions around 15 years ago...I do not know how to heal. I went to Project Rachael in KS for a weekend retreat and left feeling worse. I can't stop mourning and cry or think of my acts almost everyday. I miss my children and yes.....actually realize that I love them. It took me becoming a mother to realize how much I would have treasured them. Please tell me how to overcome this depression. Are anti-depressants the answer. I miss my little angels and feel that my family is incomplete.
Wow I feel for all of you women out there going threw that deep physical pain of abortion. I wish I was clear headed and had this forum when I had my last abortion. It has physically broken me emotionally and spirtually and I know I will never get over the pain. It breaks my heart even more to know that some ladies on here have been going 28 years with this pain. It has only been a year for me but that pain hurts more then ever. The pain of doing such a selfish act and terminating a baby. When I was pregnant with my last child, all I did was read constant abortion stories and researched all different related things to abortion. I read the whole pro-life thing and pro-choice and felt that I was in the catagory of you should have the decision to keep your baby or not and abortion is fine. I now sit here crying in my bed a year later wondering what was going threw my head. How can one be allowed to make that choice and if it was my choice now I would want it to my illegal. The deep physical pain of an abortion is nothing that can ever be healed. In my situation I can relate to many older women here. I am 24 years old and already have one child as well as at the time I had a very rocky situation with my fiance. I remember crying to my fiance after I found out and saying I didn't want another baby and he immediately assumed I wanted an abortion (which wasn't the case). It took me weeks to figure out what I wanted but deep down I knew this abortion was wrong and I only did it because our relationship was messy and he didn't seem at all interested in another baby. I took his feelings over mine and my unborn child and what a terrible disgusting choice I made. The saddest part of it all is the abortion caused our break up and 5 months after it all my fiance passed away in a car accident. I blame it all on the choices that were made. I believe if I would of kept the baby our break up wouldnt have happened and the time frame would of been different, no accident would of occured. My friends and family tell me not to think this way but how can you not? I feel like we were both punished for our actions and thats the sad part of it all. I do have a precious son that I love with all my heart but I feel empty that I lost my fiance and my unborn child. My son lost his father and possibly a sister or a brother. All I can say is my old life is gone and its been a year that I have been trying to figure out a new leaf for me and my child. I just want to let people out there to please please please think about the decision your about to make. It has ruined a big part of my life that I can never get back and it is something I have to life with for the rest of my life. The choice of abortion will redirect your life for better or for worse and for the most part it is always worse. Think about the child, not your or your family or the father. The regret is so much worse then anything you can imagine. Please choose not to abort and if your not ready there are so many families and people who cant have babies wanting to adopt. Thank you for listening :)