Major depression and grief after abortion, very confused...

Hello---- I wanted to write back that I had my abortion in the exact same set of circumstances as you. Literally everything you typed is something I went through leading up to my decision, and I am 31, it was just a month ago. I would share my story if you would like, reply on here if you see this and we can figure out how to share contact info. As for how I feel now, I do feel sad and still somewhat depressed, it is very easy to wish I had chosen differently as my feelings on the meaning of my pregnancy have changed, I can see more clearly now what's important, etc... What I do is just keep reminding myself that I couldn't have known that at the time, what I have learned from it all is also very valuable for the rest of my life, and I have to be kind to myself now, which I havent been up to this point in my life. Same goes for you. There is no reason you can't have a baby when you want to, and although you're sad you did make the best decision at the time, you didn't know how it would go with the boyfriend and you didn't feel reAdy. That's okay, even though you're sad now, it doesn't mean there's anything wrong with you. It's good to learn, it will only help. Sharing helps too. Try not to let your fears get the best of you and be strong and positive, yet patient with yourself. Let me know what you think!
Lauren

REPLY TO IMI's post two mo ago:
I'm reposting my reply bc I wanted it to be more clear which post I'm responding to. Also wanted to add that I think your photo/creative project is a beautiful idea

Hello---- I wanted to write back that I had my abortion in the exact same set of circumstances as you. Literally everything you typed is something I went through leading up to my decision, and I am 31, it was just a month ago. I would share my story if you would like, reply on here if you see this and we can figure out how to share contact info. As for how I feel now, I do feel sad and still somewhat depressed, it is very easy to wish I had chosen differently as my feelings on the meaning of my pregnancy have changed, I can see more clearly now what's important, etc... What I do is just keep reminding myself that I couldn't have known that at the time, what I have learned from it all is also very valuable for the rest of my life, and I have to be kind to myself now, which I havent been up to this point in my life. Same goes for you. There is no reason you can't have a baby when you want to, and although you're sad you did make the best decision at the time, you didn't know how it would go with the boyfriend and you didn't feel ready. That's okay, even though you're sad now, it doesn't mean there's anything wrong with you. It's good to learn, it will only help. Sharing helps too. Try not to let your fears get the best of you and be strong and positive, yet patient with yourself. Let me know what you think!
Lauren

Are you still around? It would be nice to have someone similar to talk to