Hi
i am the guest who has wrote the above few posts. Hope your ok.
i can totally understand how u are feeling and what u are saying. Your boyfriend sounds like my partner and you- like me. i think, and im only thinking here, that maybe they dont fully understand how it feels to be in that position. Till now, my partenr does not liek to talk about it. i say to him in arguments that he is heartless, but deep down, i feel that there is some sort of guilt in them also which stops them saying how they feel. my partner use to always say he doesnt no to make me feel better, how to stop me feeling sick, but in hindsight just a cuddle and some emotional support would have worked wonders. i too still wonder about the little life who was dependant me and although i had a natural miscarraige an dthen a surgical procedure, i had and was looking towards the abortion. i still think that in a few months time i would have been a mother. i dont think il ever leave that guilt that i have, i still feel quite depressed, tired allthe time an dangry but far better this than having a child who is deemed by no fault of his/her own as a burden on its parents.
when i woke up after the surgical procedure it did feel good to be me again. to not be sick to not worry about every little thing.
the situation of that pregnancy has in a great way changed my feelings towards my partner as i dont feel he has been through the same trauma as me. his trauma was seeing me be severly sick, barrely being able to stand up, being upset by this, then getting angry and frsutrtaed but had he just supported me mre, be more understanding things may have been different. we have been togetehr 15 years but his family and my family would not accept each other as we are of different religions and there hav also been personal issues. all my friends around me were at the time having babaies and it made it harder.
yes i imagine you feel guilt and bad, but better you go though this, in my opinion, then bring a child in this world who has to bear that emotional burden of not being wanted. kids always no these things. please reply to me and let me no how u get on. i regulary check this site since it actually made me fel like i could talk to someone who could understand, others who have been in them situations. look forward to hearing from you x
i am the guest who has wrote the above few posts. Hope your ok.
i can totally understand how u are feeling and what u are saying. Your boyfriend sounds like my partner and you- like me. i think, and im only thinking here, that maybe they dont fully understand how it feels to be in that position. Till now, my partenr does not liek to talk about it. i say to him in arguments that he is heartless, but deep down, i feel that there is some sort of guilt in them also which stops them saying how they feel. my partner use to always say he doesnt no to make me feel better, how to stop me feeling sick, but in hindsight just a cuddle and some emotional support would have worked wonders. i too still wonder about the little life who was dependant me and although i had a natural miscarraige an dthen a surgical procedure, i had and was looking towards the abortion. i still think that in a few months time i would have been a mother. i dont think il ever leave that guilt that i have, i still feel quite depressed, tired allthe time an dangry but far better this than having a child who is deemed by no fault of his/her own as a burden on its parents.
when i woke up after the surgical procedure it did feel good to be me again. to not be sick to not worry about every little thing.
the situation of that pregnancy has in a great way changed my feelings towards my partner as i dont feel he has been through the same trauma as me. his trauma was seeing me be severly sick, barrely being able to stand up, being upset by this, then getting angry and frsutrtaed but had he just supported me mre, be more understanding things may have been different. we have been togetehr 15 years but his family and my family would not accept each other as we are of different religions and there hav also been personal issues. all my friends around me were at the time having babaies and it made it harder.
yes i imagine you feel guilt and bad, but better you go though this, in my opinion, then bring a child in this world who has to bear that emotional burden of not being wanted. kids always no these things. please reply to me and let me no how u get on. i regulary check this site since it actually made me fel like i could talk to someone who could understand, others who have been in them situations. look forward to hearing from you x
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Its all very well to sound sanctimonius and say that you shouldn't have sex if u dont want to risk pregnancy - but most people live in the real world where sex is part of most relationships, whether these are tied by marriage or not. i am not saying that i am the only one who has had a loss of a child but i am not the one who is imposing my views on others! you may use the username "hizgrace" but in fact you are just another individual. yes it is a painful issue but getting ona high horse cannot change the fact that someones has an unwanted preganancy or that they want a termination. i work in the medical industry and aware of what goes on and it is not the way u say so by imposing your gulit on someelse else does not help. i do not believe in abortion but u can never say never as u never no how ul feel. i also believe the legal abortion limit is too much in the uk. however these are MY views and i am not imposing them on any1. i find that a selfish thing to do, it is not supportive. The truth is we all r responsible for our decisions and we have a rational choice as individuals - now that is the truth.
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Guest,
Very interesting. Sanctimonius not true. You know NOTHING about me or what I have been through.
I myself work in the medical field. It is the truth, sex can cause pregnancy, STD's etc.
I am not imposing my views on others, this is a forum, and I am stating my views, AND the truth of what causes pregnancy.
I DO NOT speak as judgemental or name calling, WHATSOEVER !! I speak from experience and from the voices of other women. I speak from the fact that my healing was from "Hizgrace".
To assume that I am on a high horse is not wise, but sounding like alot of anger speaking through you.
I thank God that in the USA we may speak our minds, and the truth. The truth was spoken to me a LONG time ago, and trust me, it wasnt easy to hear.
Blessings,
Hizgrace
Very interesting. Sanctimonius not true. You know NOTHING about me or what I have been through.
I myself work in the medical field. It is the truth, sex can cause pregnancy, STD's etc.
I am not imposing my views on others, this is a forum, and I am stating my views, AND the truth of what causes pregnancy.
I DO NOT speak as judgemental or name calling, WHATSOEVER !! I speak from experience and from the voices of other women. I speak from the fact that my healing was from "Hizgrace".
To assume that I am on a high horse is not wise, but sounding like alot of anger speaking through you.
I thank God that in the USA we may speak our minds, and the truth. The truth was spoken to me a LONG time ago, and trust me, it wasnt easy to hear.
Blessings,
Hizgrace
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does sex really cause pregnancy? never! the people on this page never knew that!!!i am not angry but more annoyed at your JUDGMENTAL attitude to keep a child that is not wanted. it is never healthy for mother or child! i didnt know you could speak for other women either. maybe your view are helped along by "hizgrace" but we all have our religions and beliefs and it is not mine or probably 90% on this forum. people are looking for support and understanding, for empathy and compassion - not judgment and being told sex causes pregnancy - a little too late for that lesson on this forum.
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So i posted at the top of this page, and 2 weeks later I'm updating.
So i had my medical abortion yesterday and the feeling of relief was imense and that sounds awful.
I don't know what i was expecting from it, i admit it was physically very painful and half way through (this is quite traumatic) i had to have a scan to find the fetus was stuck and the doctor had to use forceps to complete the procedure whilst i was awake. I didn't think about it at the time was i was still high from the drugs and exhausted from the pain.
Boyfriend waited int he waiting room for the whole 6 hours but when i came out i felt so angry towards him.
He was acting really quiet almost as if he felt sorry for HIMSELF. Its like the more time passed while i was pregnant he kept saying I'm going through this too you know and the more he said it the more i resented him for saying it.
He wasn't feeling sick EVERY second of EVERY day. He didn't have his head hanging over a toilet bowl, he wasn't ringing in sick to work and worrying how the bills were going to be paid.
He kept saying to me "whats wrong" i just thought what kind of question is that. I mean emotionally i was pretty stable but physically i felt awful and he saying it over and over.
When we got out of the hospital i guess all those emotions just came back.
Today, it was like he was acting like nothing had happened. Its not like i want sympathy i mean hes the only one who knows, but i got up and cleaned today, went and got our money for holiday cooked etc etc i knew i had overdone it because i could feel it, and not once did he say "hey its OK slow down I'll do it you need to rest"
i know i made the decision to do all that stuff and it helped me feel "normal again" but my god........NOTHING!
Its now nearly midnight and we argued because i told him i felt like hes ignoring what happened and he doesn't think he has and now I'm feeling really emotionally thanks to hormones!
I don't feel regret at all over the abortion its like relief washed over me when the Dr said "you are no longer pregnant" (his words the second he pulled out the fetus) Like my god its over i can breathe again, but recognition from my partner would be appreciated.
He actually said "i was sympathetic i waited for you next door" i said that's not sympathy that's love.
I kind of wish he hadn't because i just felt like he was feeling really sorry for himself.
This has gone on too long i just needed to vent in the hope someone out there might understand me.
Thanks for listening xxx
So i had my medical abortion yesterday and the feeling of relief was imense and that sounds awful.
I don't know what i was expecting from it, i admit it was physically very painful and half way through (this is quite traumatic) i had to have a scan to find the fetus was stuck and the doctor had to use forceps to complete the procedure whilst i was awake. I didn't think about it at the time was i was still high from the drugs and exhausted from the pain.
Boyfriend waited int he waiting room for the whole 6 hours but when i came out i felt so angry towards him.
He was acting really quiet almost as if he felt sorry for HIMSELF. Its like the more time passed while i was pregnant he kept saying I'm going through this too you know and the more he said it the more i resented him for saying it.
He wasn't feeling sick EVERY second of EVERY day. He didn't have his head hanging over a toilet bowl, he wasn't ringing in sick to work and worrying how the bills were going to be paid.
He kept saying to me "whats wrong" i just thought what kind of question is that. I mean emotionally i was pretty stable but physically i felt awful and he saying it over and over.
When we got out of the hospital i guess all those emotions just came back.
Today, it was like he was acting like nothing had happened. Its not like i want sympathy i mean hes the only one who knows, but i got up and cleaned today, went and got our money for holiday cooked etc etc i knew i had overdone it because i could feel it, and not once did he say "hey its OK slow down I'll do it you need to rest"
i know i made the decision to do all that stuff and it helped me feel "normal again" but my god........NOTHING!
Its now nearly midnight and we argued because i told him i felt like hes ignoring what happened and he doesn't think he has and now I'm feeling really emotionally thanks to hormones!
I don't feel regret at all over the abortion its like relief washed over me when the Dr said "you are no longer pregnant" (his words the second he pulled out the fetus) Like my god its over i can breathe again, but recognition from my partner would be appreciated.
He actually said "i was sympathetic i waited for you next door" i said that's not sympathy that's love.
I kind of wish he hadn't because i just felt like he was feeling really sorry for himself.
This has gone on too long i just needed to vent in the hope someone out there might understand me.
Thanks for listening xxx
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my fiancee had an abortion under orders from an ex ten years ago but breaks her heart every day and i want to find help for her she also realizes she needs help too can anyone suggest a group or help center?
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Hi Guest,
I would suggest looking over the internet for post abortion recovery and include your state. They offer ALOT OF no cost counseling and grief programs through churches that take you step by step. There is healing, and it begins when she is ready.
Hizgrace
I would suggest looking over the internet for post abortion recovery and include your state. They offer ALOT OF no cost counseling and grief programs through churches that take you step by step. There is healing, and it begins when she is ready.
Hizgrace
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hi
im the guest again from previous posts
i totally understand how u feel and am here to listen so please write and i will reply. i too have felt immense anger towards my partner, everything he said and did made me furious!!! watching tv while i was being sick every sec, the lot - infuriated me! its not their fault but moreover just the anger you are feeling inside you - i know. and as for feeling relief - again exactly how i felt. relief not to feel sick, relief that im no longer 'pregnant', relief that i could be normal again, relief i didnt have to lie to work that i was sick when it was pregnancy sickness which i could not tell them. it has taken some months to accept what i have done and it did take months before i felt the remorse i do now, but i know it was the right decision. it doesnt hit you till later and if you dont let yourself think about it, you will be in denial like me, but it has helped me struggle thorugh whta is a big rgret in my life and its something that you end up accepting and living with. coming up to 6 months later, some days are hard, seeing babies, thinking what could have been, some days are good, like normal.. its now part of your life and you have to accept it, which is easier said than done. i dont talk about it to my partner, i try not to think of it, but it will always be there. talking on here helps and hearing others story. i hope you find some peace in your heart and your relationship. please feel free to reply to me and i will reply.
im the guest again from previous posts
i totally understand how u feel and am here to listen so please write and i will reply. i too have felt immense anger towards my partner, everything he said and did made me furious!!! watching tv while i was being sick every sec, the lot - infuriated me! its not their fault but moreover just the anger you are feeling inside you - i know. and as for feeling relief - again exactly how i felt. relief not to feel sick, relief that im no longer 'pregnant', relief that i could be normal again, relief i didnt have to lie to work that i was sick when it was pregnancy sickness which i could not tell them. it has taken some months to accept what i have done and it did take months before i felt the remorse i do now, but i know it was the right decision. it doesnt hit you till later and if you dont let yourself think about it, you will be in denial like me, but it has helped me struggle thorugh whta is a big rgret in my life and its something that you end up accepting and living with. coming up to 6 months later, some days are hard, seeing babies, thinking what could have been, some days are good, like normal.. its now part of your life and you have to accept it, which is easier said than done. i dont talk about it to my partner, i try not to think of it, but it will always be there. talking on here helps and hearing others story. i hope you find some peace in your heart and your relationship. please feel free to reply to me and i will reply.
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Hi,
My husband just decided he doesn't want to be with me anymore. His family is abroad and he feels they need him. Of course all of this was decided without my knowledge and after we tried for a kid. Now I am pregnant and I am torn as to what to do. I am 36, and it wasn't easy conceiving. My family and I fear that if I have the kid he/she will end up suffering through a huge custody battle and I can't fathom putting anyone through that. My husband is not to be trusted, he totally pulled the rug from under me. All along he bugged me to have kids, and now boom its another tune. I am leaning towards an abortion to put an end to this. I don't want any more connections with someone who can't be trusted. But at the same time, its heartbreaking to even consider I am letting go of my child because of his/her crazy father.
My husband just decided he doesn't want to be with me anymore. His family is abroad and he feels they need him. Of course all of this was decided without my knowledge and after we tried for a kid. Now I am pregnant and I am torn as to what to do. I am 36, and it wasn't easy conceiving. My family and I fear that if I have the kid he/she will end up suffering through a huge custody battle and I can't fathom putting anyone through that. My husband is not to be trusted, he totally pulled the rug from under me. All along he bugged me to have kids, and now boom its another tune. I am leaning towards an abortion to put an end to this. I don't want any more connections with someone who can't be trusted. But at the same time, its heartbreaking to even consider I am letting go of my child because of his/her crazy father.
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Hi its guest again
if you dont mind me sayng, you sound really hurt and upset. i cant tell you what to do but having read what you have wrote, i would say dont make a rash decision, its your body and you should do what is right for you. if you have the baby, yes you will always be connected to the father forever more, but you will also have your child which it seems you have tried very hard for. i guess there a scales of balance involved and at the end of the day, you must do what is right for you. these are just my thoughts, hope in some way they have helped x
if you dont mind me sayng, you sound really hurt and upset. i cant tell you what to do but having read what you have wrote, i would say dont make a rash decision, its your body and you should do what is right for you. if you have the baby, yes you will always be connected to the father forever more, but you will also have your child which it seems you have tried very hard for. i guess there a scales of balance involved and at the end of the day, you must do what is right for you. these are just my thoughts, hope in some way they have helped x
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Hi There,
I agree with Guest too !!! Babies are a HUGE GIFT and a heritage. What an absolutely PRECIOUS gift of LIFE this is to you !!! I would not make a decision about this BABY based on what is going on with your husband. I know that it seems REALLY hard right now, but it WILL NOT be hard forever !!! Give this life a chance !!!! Blessings to you !!!
Hizgrace
I agree with Guest too !!! Babies are a HUGE GIFT and a heritage. What an absolutely PRECIOUS gift of LIFE this is to you !!! I would not make a decision about this BABY based on what is going on with your husband. I know that it seems REALLY hard right now, but it WILL NOT be hard forever !!! Give this life a chance !!!! Blessings to you !!!
Hizgrace
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Problems will come and go, always, but this decision should not be related with your conditions with husband. His not being fair to you in this position. If you ask me he is being to egoistic about this. He wanted a baby and now he is leaving. If you even in a small amount want to keep that baby, then do it, you will not regret it. You should not terminate this pregnancy if not medically necessary.
I agree with previous posters, you should consider this twice. Hizgrace said a good thing, it seams hard now, but it wound be hard forever.
Hope that you make a good decision.
If you have any more doubts please post here.
I agree with previous posters, you should consider this twice. Hizgrace said a good thing, it seams hard now, but it wound be hard forever.
Hope that you make a good decision.
If you have any more doubts please post here.
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I am 29 years old, I had an abortion just a week ago and I feel so terrible, lost and confused, and scared. I'd give anything to go back and time to get that pregnancy back. I feel so empty inside. My heart hurts and I am just filled with so much turmoil. I've always wanted children and when I found out I was pregnant I was extremely excited. A few days later, I began feeling lonely and isolated. I felt like I had nothing to offer the baby. I felt so depressed and troubled. My boyfriend wanted the baby so much but I pushed him away terribly. I have that feeling sometimes that we can have another baby and it will make it right but then I think about it often and knowing no other baby will replace the first pregnancy I've had kills me inside. I sometimes have suicidal thoughts and I have no appetite. I lay in bed all day during the weekends and only get up to go to work and come straight back home. Is there support groups to help with this kind of trauma? I'm in desperate need.
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There definitely are some support groups out there although you will have to be careful to make sure that the group you get involved with isn't a group that tries to make you feel bad for doing it in the first place. I would check on the internet to see what oyu can find in your area. I'm sure that there's something for you.
Here's what i can say. What's done is done. Don't feel bad, because you did what you could at the time and you did what's best for you. You may regret it, but you cannot change the past now. Mourn it if you need to, but try really hard to move yourself on. I hope that you are doing better. Let me know. :)
Here's what i can say. What's done is done. Don't feel bad, because you did what you could at the time and you did what's best for you. You may regret it, but you cannot change the past now. Mourn it if you need to, but try really hard to move yourself on. I hope that you are doing better. Let me know. :)
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