Guest,
I am shocked and just sitting in disbelief over what you have just posted. I had a miscarriage in November, at 10 weeks, and my baby was COMPLETELY formed, I could even see the wrinkles in his little hands and feet and his beautiful blue eyes. I am JUST sitting here wondering if you are for real. I am STILL in deep grief over the loss of my child.
I am giong to say this the best way I can. There is NO possible way that a HUMAN life should be compared with that of putting an animal to sleep. That is a living breathing human being, I know.... I held my 10 WEEK old in the palm of my hand.
Forgive me, but it sounds like you are trying to convince yourself that aborting at 20 weeks....after a 4 D sonogram... is the right thing to do. My best wishes go out to you when you get in the midst of your grief.
Oh, by the way, NO PERSON is ever TRULY ready to have a baby. If a person waits until everything is "picture perfect" they will never have a child.
By the way, please dont compare a HUMAN life with that of an animal, that is like apples to oranges. Furthermore, to compare "pulling a life support systm" on someone else.... well, that person lived.
I am shocked and just sitting in disbelief over what you have just posted. I had a miscarriage in November, at 10 weeks, and my baby was COMPLETELY formed, I could even see the wrinkles in his little hands and feet and his beautiful blue eyes. I am JUST sitting here wondering if you are for real. I am STILL in deep grief over the loss of my child.
I am giong to say this the best way I can. There is NO possible way that a HUMAN life should be compared with that of putting an animal to sleep. That is a living breathing human being, I know.... I held my 10 WEEK old in the palm of my hand.
Forgive me, but it sounds like you are trying to convince yourself that aborting at 20 weeks....after a 4 D sonogram... is the right thing to do. My best wishes go out to you when you get in the midst of your grief.
Oh, by the way, NO PERSON is ever TRULY ready to have a baby. If a person waits until everything is "picture perfect" they will never have a child.
By the way, please dont compare a HUMAN life with that of an animal, that is like apples to oranges. Furthermore, to compare "pulling a life support systm" on someone else.... well, that person lived.
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I got an abortion this past August. I feel like time is moving in slow motion. I am 21 years old and my boyfriend is a little older 28. But we had kinda planned it. But when I actually turned up pregnant, I had never seen my boyfriends emotion go so sour. He wanted for like 2 months and now that it was here, it was like the worst thing that could happen. I know are finances weren't really all there. I don't personally agree with abortion I never had. But between my boyfriend and sister it was like they forced me to get it. And I cried the entire time it happened. I still cry all the time. I miss my baby, I wanted it. And I really don't know how to deal with this emotions anymore. I feel like I was tricked into this whole getting pregnant thing. I wanted it, I was ok with it. I miss my baby I do and I don't know where to go from here. I am so ashamed of my actions. I was in charge of that little life and I couldn't even save it. Everyday I research online to find something that will give me strength, but nothing helps. I have been so different since that day. I don't even know if my life is even worth anything...
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hi, its siennas. to the guest who is is terminating their baby at 20 weeks, i find your post shocking., and am hesitant to put exactly what i feel. at 20 weeks, the babay is almost fully formed. could you not have decided this earlier had you wanted an abortion??? there are women on here who've in addition to me been in turmoil over the decision and many also like myself feel denial initially. maybe thats what you are feeling but nobody has gone to describe teh baby or i believe waited till this end stage. i dont know what to say to yu. sorry but i feel you are in total denial. as it is now 8feb i believe you may have gone through with your decsion. could you update us?
hizgrace - i would like to offer my condolonces for your loss. i know how strongly you feel about this issue. i wish you well and hope you find comfort.
dear guest who has posted last. nothing will make you feel any better but in time you will find acceptance. go back and read my posts. my name is sienna (have forgotten my password). its been 1 year 2 months. it doesnt get any better, you just have to live with he decision you have made and learn from te situation. i still get very depressed and you will never forget, but this is the minimum price for our actions. i feel for you. hope you find some level of comfort in the posts people have written. please post back.
hizgrace - i would like to offer my condolonces for your loss. i know how strongly you feel about this issue. i wish you well and hope you find comfort.
dear guest who has posted last. nothing will make you feel any better but in time you will find acceptance. go back and read my posts. my name is sienna (have forgotten my password). its been 1 year 2 months. it doesnt get any better, you just have to live with he decision you have made and learn from te situation. i still get very depressed and you will never forget, but this is the minimum price for our actions. i feel for you. hope you find some level of comfort in the posts people have written. please post back.
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Sienna,
I REMEMBER READING YOUR POSTS !! Thank you for your precious words. Listen, you are more than welcome to PM me if there is any help I can offer. I used to do post abortion recovery counseling, maybe just a "listening board". It is true though. The grieving is a terrible thing at times. You know, I really never knew the pain that came with miscarriage, not until now. I am also going through a bit of "post partum depression". I am doing well though.
I cannot say this enough. My son, Gabriel (we name him) was 10 weeks, and was the THE MOST amazing sight I have ever seen. I had some women who freaked out when I told them that I held him. I guess I didnt know what to expect. He was COMPLETELY formed, I was just in complete shock. Please dont hesitate to ask me anthing you need to.
LADIES IN THIS FORUM.... I share this with you with COMPLETE TRUTH..... I would be SOOOOOO happy to help ANY of you if I can, you can PM me, and I can be a "sounding board" if needed. I DO NOT JUDGE YOU.... I just found my heart broke for SOOOOO many young women like yourselves when I counseled in crisis pregnancies. I felt led by Him, to begin learning the counseling process for this very issue, because of the amount of women that I saw BROKEN AND SCARRED, and unable to function. Please take the opportunity to PM me if I can help you at all.
Abortion is the loss of a life. You MUST take time to grieve, NO MATTER what anyone else believes...it is part of our delicate human nature given to us by Him.
MANY MANY HUGS AND HUGS TO ALL OF YOU LADIES, AND A SHOULDER TO CRY ON, OR EAR TO LISTEN,
BLESSINGS,
HIZGRACE
I REMEMBER READING YOUR POSTS !! Thank you for your precious words. Listen, you are more than welcome to PM me if there is any help I can offer. I used to do post abortion recovery counseling, maybe just a "listening board". It is true though. The grieving is a terrible thing at times. You know, I really never knew the pain that came with miscarriage, not until now. I am also going through a bit of "post partum depression". I am doing well though.
I cannot say this enough. My son, Gabriel (we name him) was 10 weeks, and was the THE MOST amazing sight I have ever seen. I had some women who freaked out when I told them that I held him. I guess I didnt know what to expect. He was COMPLETELY formed, I was just in complete shock. Please dont hesitate to ask me anthing you need to.
LADIES IN THIS FORUM.... I share this with you with COMPLETE TRUTH..... I would be SOOOOOO happy to help ANY of you if I can, you can PM me, and I can be a "sounding board" if needed. I DO NOT JUDGE YOU.... I just found my heart broke for SOOOOO many young women like yourselves when I counseled in crisis pregnancies. I felt led by Him, to begin learning the counseling process for this very issue, because of the amount of women that I saw BROKEN AND SCARRED, and unable to function. Please take the opportunity to PM me if I can help you at all.
Abortion is the loss of a life. You MUST take time to grieve, NO MATTER what anyone else believes...it is part of our delicate human nature given to us by Him.
MANY MANY HUGS AND HUGS TO ALL OF YOU LADIES, AND A SHOULDER TO CRY ON, OR EAR TO LISTEN,
BLESSINGS,
HIZGRACE
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Hi HizGrace
its sienna, i feel so sad reading your post but im sure without doubt that Gabriel is in heaven right now and i dont see anything but love and strenght in you holding him. It would have taken great courage and strength, which many of us could not do. i wish you strenght to get thorugh this and hope you have a supportive partner and together you can get through your difficult situation.
i believe denial plays a big part when we say we dont feel anything but in time when the initial denial fades, then the pain is constant and irremovable.
the thought of me wanting a child is so scary for me now. my partner and i have had a complete breakdown in communication since what happened, with him sleeping downstairs and me upstairs. 4 weeks ago i decided to leave but was convinced to try again and was even proposed to. his been trying hard to put the communication back but the bitterness of what could have been is still there for me. we were saying just yesterday our baby would have been crawling by now. i havent agreed to marry him but deep down do want to and want to have a child but now its so so scary.
i used to be an atheist despite being brought up in a religious house. i blamed god for all the wrongs and became an atheist. the last few months i have really changed, i have seeked the right religious path, and have taken responsibilty for my actions. what was not meant to be, was not meant to be. But for my actions, i hope god will forgive me.
Hizgrace - you and baby Gabrielle are in my thoughts. God bless you.
its sienna, i feel so sad reading your post but im sure without doubt that Gabriel is in heaven right now and i dont see anything but love and strenght in you holding him. It would have taken great courage and strength, which many of us could not do. i wish you strenght to get thorugh this and hope you have a supportive partner and together you can get through your difficult situation.
i believe denial plays a big part when we say we dont feel anything but in time when the initial denial fades, then the pain is constant and irremovable.
the thought of me wanting a child is so scary for me now. my partner and i have had a complete breakdown in communication since what happened, with him sleeping downstairs and me upstairs. 4 weeks ago i decided to leave but was convinced to try again and was even proposed to. his been trying hard to put the communication back but the bitterness of what could have been is still there for me. we were saying just yesterday our baby would have been crawling by now. i havent agreed to marry him but deep down do want to and want to have a child but now its so so scary.
i used to be an atheist despite being brought up in a religious house. i blamed god for all the wrongs and became an atheist. the last few months i have really changed, i have seeked the right religious path, and have taken responsibilty for my actions. what was not meant to be, was not meant to be. But for my actions, i hope god will forgive me.
Hizgrace - you and baby Gabrielle are in my thoughts. God bless you.
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hi, i am also struggling as i am 35 years old now but when i was 12 i found out that i was 24 weeks pregnant, i was too far gon eto have a normal termination and had to be induced and go through an awful labour....the pains were very intense and to this day i can not get any of it out of my head......i remember giving birth and then the baby having a green surgical sheet placed over it and put under the trolly. to this day it all haunts me and i cry often 8-| i have now got 4 beautiful children aged 11, 10, 4 and 2 and they are my world but the guilt i carry around is so strong i really struggle to cope. my children do not know as they are too young.
my mum went to a medium and the lady said to her that she could see her dad with a little girl sitting with him and that it is the little girl that your daughter lost!!!!!! she said the little girl wants you to tell your daughter that she is ok and doesnt blame her for what she had to do beacause of her age!!!!!!
my mum burst into tears as she new she was talking about me 8-| i am glad i am not the only one who is suffering with a loss, as it is the hardest thing in the world to cope with and i am full of regrets......
my mum went to a medium and the lady said to her that she could see her dad with a little girl sitting with him and that it is the little girl that your daughter lost!!!!!! she said the little girl wants you to tell your daughter that she is ok and doesnt blame her for what she had to do beacause of her age!!!!!!
my mum burst into tears as she new she was talking about me 8-| i am glad i am not the only one who is suffering with a loss, as it is the hardest thing in the world to cope with and i am full of regrets......
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its sienas. i guess all we can do is learn from our mistakes and try and learn from them. That child is now gone and theres nothing you can do about it. all you do is give you all to the kids you do have as you have them. look to the future and the kids you do have as there is nothing to change what happened in the past. i feel for you.
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I had an abortion 5 weeks ago. I was already 5 weeks my bf we've been dating for almost 7 yrs we are both 27. We dicsussed the matter before I did have the abortion but I now cry every night about it I feel like a monster and I want my baby back I talked to him about it and he was telling me that we were not ready and mostly he was not psycologically prepared. I hate myself for what I did and I resent him for he behaves like nothing ever happened. I really want to have a baby now more than ever before. I've statred taking prenatal viamnins and even thinking of what to buy for the baby. He said to me once while I was crying in 3months we can try to have another baby but he now keeps joking about 3 yrs. I told him I'll have the baby with or w/t him. I dont want to hv to choose btn the two help.... Sad
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Siennas,
Are you a believer in Christ? Have you asked God and Jesus to forgive you? If so, you need to be assured that you have been forgiven. God is not a liar. Read in your Word Luke 15:3-7, Acts 10:43, Ephesians 1:7, 1 John 1:9. It is the consequence of our choice that we are having to face, and forgiving ourselves that is hardest. Often times we feel we cannot forgive ourself. Please totally trust and believe in the words that He has said. Please PM me if you feel you need to it is my screenname and is at yahoo, ok? This process that you need/will go through is a biggie and takes times and healing and restoration. But only He can do it.
Hugs N Hugs,
Hizgrace
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Hi
Last year in november i fell pregnant and was in a happy relationship but we hadnt been together for long so we felt it was too early and we went through an abortion. Myself and my boyfriend are now at each others throats constantly. My boyfriend seems to be really depressed about it all. He ends our relationship saying he wishes he was dead instead of our baby. Threatening to kill his self then goes off on drinking binges. i really dont no what to do to help, he wont go to doctors, ive tried talking to him about it but he puts up his guard!! I love him to pieces ill stand by him but its ripping me apart.
Please help
Last year in november i fell pregnant and was in a happy relationship but we hadnt been together for long so we felt it was too early and we went through an abortion. Myself and my boyfriend are now at each others throats constantly. My boyfriend seems to be really depressed about it all. He ends our relationship saying he wishes he was dead instead of our baby. Threatening to kill his self then goes off on drinking binges. i really dont no what to do to help, he wont go to doctors, ive tried talking to him about it but he puts up his guard!! I love him to pieces ill stand by him but its ripping me apart.
Please help
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So I just had my abortion a week ago. I understand there is a girl who was only a few weeks ahead of me that is still pregnant... and sometimes I feel almost jealous like I should still be pregnant. But its not the right time for my career nor my boyfriend's and I had gone for so long (almost into my second trimester) without knowing and carrying on with my life like drinking here and there still doing heavy physical activity until I found out not but a week or so before. It was a tough decision and I'm lucky my boyfriend didn't push me but I still feel frustrated that no one could tell me what to do or help me make my decision everyone just stood behind whatever I said but at some point I wish someone would have told me what to do and I would have happily went along even if it was to keep the baby because I would have given it to maybe a couple who couldn't conceive but I was still concerned with the damage I may have done and the fact that I would of had to of been held back from my job. Its hard to talk about because I felt like I was in some horror film and that my body no longer belonged to me, like I had no say during the procedure and it was utterly painful, the doctor was only doing his job but at times I felt like one of the nurses laughed at me (inwardly) and that the doc had said some things that I could have gone without hearing such as "if you're mature enough to engage in sexual activiity you can handle a speculum" because I had such an anxiety before and during the procedure and I barely had the physical or mental strength to move myself from the table when I was done. It was no longer about the fetus or baby or what have you, it was about the most wretched less than half hour of my life. I feel so alone because I feel like no one can understand my pain and i want to be alone and at the same time I want to be held.
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I'm 25, had my abortion 3 months ago and I am such a mess, I want to talk to someone about it, but I don't think anyone wants to talk about it with me because I'm always happy and I'll get over it like I'm used to doing. My boyfriend says we'll have a family oneday and 'what's the hurry?'. When ever I try to talk to him I can't help lashing out at him because I feel he doesn't care. I've cried everyday. I've hardly ever cried in my life.
Even though I know I MADE THE RIGHT DECISION. There are 'God' people on here saying 'You have made the wrong decision and you will forgive yourself oneday', what a load of c**p, it doesn't make anything better.
When I watch T.V I see babies, most of the friends I used to hang out with are pregnant, my boyfriend's got a baby with another girl which I have to look after because he's still learning how to be dad. If I put weight on I look pregnant again, everyone around me all the time talks about children and how wonderful they are, babies babies babies babies babies! I teach guitar to children for a living and work in a cafe during the day with the only baby changing facility in town. Sometimes I get hysterical and have to lock myself away till they're gone. The lady has just given birth nextdoor, I hear the baby crying while I'm sleeping some nights, I want to run away with the little I have saved to never associate anything or anyone with the abortion or children again. I don't know what to do. I feel I am completely on my own. I think what life would have been like having the baby, and I'm sure we would have struggled to cope. My parents are catholic and refused to speak to me after I had it. No amount of vallium will make it disappear.
Even though I know I MADE THE RIGHT DECISION. There are 'God' people on here saying 'You have made the wrong decision and you will forgive yourself oneday', what a load of c**p, it doesn't make anything better.
When I watch T.V I see babies, most of the friends I used to hang out with are pregnant, my boyfriend's got a baby with another girl which I have to look after because he's still learning how to be dad. If I put weight on I look pregnant again, everyone around me all the time talks about children and how wonderful they are, babies babies babies babies babies! I teach guitar to children for a living and work in a cafe during the day with the only baby changing facility in town. Sometimes I get hysterical and have to lock myself away till they're gone. The lady has just given birth nextdoor, I hear the baby crying while I'm sleeping some nights, I want to run away with the little I have saved to never associate anything or anyone with the abortion or children again. I don't know what to do. I feel I am completely on my own. I think what life would have been like having the baby, and I'm sure we would have struggled to cope. My parents are catholic and refused to speak to me after I had it. No amount of vallium will make it disappear.
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Laura,
I totally understand what you are going through. I had an abortion two months ago and
still tear up when I talk about it. I have been going to counseling and I am finding that
it has helped me as well as finding this website. I too have suffered in silence because
I did not have anyone to talk to. I actually went by myself to the clinic and went through
the abortion alone. I went through severe depression to where I started to have suicidal
thoughts. I could not forgive myself for what I did and was finding myself constantly talking to
my child apologizing for what I had done. After my abortion it seemed like pregnant people
were coming out of the woodwork and to top it all off my sister found out she was pregnant
and asked me to be the godmother. I am still trying to be happy for her but I find myself avoiding
her calls because I am jealous. Having another child was just not possible financially and sometimes
I regret my decision but I thought it was the right choice at that time. There are no words or advice
that I can give to you that would make you feel better. All I can say is that coping gets a little easier as
time goes on. I will never forget but I am learning to forgive myself. I found that sharing my feelings with
someone who has been through the same tragedy has helped tremendously. So If you need to talk, I am here
to listen. Take Care!
I totally understand what you are going through. I had an abortion two months ago and
still tear up when I talk about it. I have been going to counseling and I am finding that
it has helped me as well as finding this website. I too have suffered in silence because
I did not have anyone to talk to. I actually went by myself to the clinic and went through
the abortion alone. I went through severe depression to where I started to have suicidal
thoughts. I could not forgive myself for what I did and was finding myself constantly talking to
my child apologizing for what I had done. After my abortion it seemed like pregnant people
were coming out of the woodwork and to top it all off my sister found out she was pregnant
and asked me to be the godmother. I am still trying to be happy for her but I find myself avoiding
her calls because I am jealous. Having another child was just not possible financially and sometimes
I regret my decision but I thought it was the right choice at that time. There are no words or advice
that I can give to you that would make you feel better. All I can say is that coping gets a little easier as
time goes on. I will never forget but I am learning to forgive myself. I found that sharing my feelings with
someone who has been through the same tragedy has helped tremendously. So If you need to talk, I am here
to listen. Take Care!
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I felt the very same thing I am 35 no have two children wanted to have a baby with my new husband but changed my mind think I was too old. I went to the doctory got the pill again but it was too late I was pregnant. I became extremly depressed over the thought of having a baby at 35. I went to the abortion clinic 3 times and I finaly went thru with the abortion last Thursday. All Week I have been in denial about what I have done. Now I with I would have never done it. I really think it was the hormones of the pregnancy causing me to not want the baby. I feel like my body betrayed me too. I am so sad now. My husband and I made the choice together he supported me either way. I wish he would have stood up for the our unborn child more. SO SO SO SAD.
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Just last Friday I had an abortion done and it was the hardest thing I've ever had to do. I feel so hurt the physical pain is unbearable,and the idea of what happened is now really hitting me, the thing is that I am married and me and my husband had had a huge argument and I had left the house for almost a week. When we talked about me coming back he told me he had one condition which was for me to have an abortion. That completely broke my heart. My doctor had told me about a year ago that I'd never be able to conceive and I was finally able to, it killed me to think of getting rid of my first baby I fear/feared never being able to become pregnant again. I decided at last that I loved my husband and that I was willing to do it for our marriage to work out( Now I don't know if I made the right decision). On top of that I had my aunt telling me constantly to have an abortion hearing this from her and my husband broke my heart it has really affected me. I was so excited in a way about this pregnancy. I had told my husband before that in reality I was the only person who could protect this baby. I am/(feel like) a very weak minded individual and I feel that I let them talk me into doing this I didn't protect my baby I feel so depressed this is completely out of my hands once I made that decision there was no going back. I can't concentrate in class and at night I have been crying I can't comprehend this situation at all how could I do this?
:cry:
:cry:
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