When you reach this age, everything moves slower so having a male partner who is patient, gentle, and gives you lots of foreplay is essential. Sad to say, from my experience, most baby boomer men despise the use of toys because they are old fashioned and it hurts their ego to think that a woman would need a toy instead of him!
Let me admit (for the elderly chronically ill), that I am a cancer survivor and have severe osteoporosis. I am also on pain management. Even with all the meds I take and the fact that I can't get into the positions that I used to, I still find a way for pleasure. Never give up! You ladies that have health issues...PLEASE don't think that your sex life is over.
For me, the best "helper" is lots of fore-play and LUBE!!! Get the kind that lasts verrrrrrry long; constantly having to re-apply it is not sexy. They have a new kind out that is in a gel form and lasts forever. It also has no taste or odor and feels real.
For me, the problem is clitoral stimulation. My old clitoris ain't what she used to be in terms of sensitivity. Older men are not as sensitive either. It takes me twice as long as when I was younger to "get it revved up" lol. But patience is a virtue and if the two of you can have the ability to wait it out, the big "O" will happen. When I have sex with my 53 year old partner, I often wonder how someone of my age can keep up with a much younger man. I don't understand how these older/younger relationships can work well in the bedroom. My partner is pretty much on the same level as I am sexually and much to his credit, he will do just about anything to give me an "O" even if it takes hours. His age makes it easier for him to control his erection and wait for me. Oral sex can be great for foreplay too if you are not old-fashioned and shy about it. It's good for HIM, too!!!!
I don't deny that sometimes there are times when it just doesn't happen for me but that can happen at any age. My climax may not have the same fire-works as it did when I was 20 years younger but it is just as wonderful and satisfying. Those healthy endorphins that run through our older bodies will add years to our lives!!!!! Don't give up!!! Use it or lose it!!!
If you have never orgasmed then my advice is to try on your own at first, perhaps using a powerful clit vibrator, rather than a phallus shaped one. Also let yourself go, and find what turns you on. I find that porn sometimes helps, but that isnt for everyone. Just relax and listen to your body.
Also I have found that it is often uncomfortable to directly stimulate my clitoris, rather i stimulate the area just above in a side to side motion. Everyone is different but most women are able to orgasm, unless they are physically unable to due to a medical reason. When you take away the pressure and concentrate on the pleasure you will reach it.
Hey ladies, Im a 21 year old female, ive been having sex for 5 years now, and i am still yet to have an orgasm during sex but ive always been able to masturbate & get myself to climax. I have never told any of my partners about this but ive always been open enough to tell them what i like & my turn ons. Yet nothing has worked.
I then did build up the courage to tell my sister who explained to me that she has the same problem.
Ive read every forum & chat sites imaginable, my vibrator doesnt do it, niether does the g-spot. Im outter ideas & im starting to get reallllly frustrated by it.
I dont look forward to sex anymore & im very over faking it.
If anyone knows of any medications that might help?
Here is my take on this. First off tell your boyfriend it is not his fault.
I think the easiest way for you to reach orgasm is to do it by yourself. If I was you I would pick a day when you know you will have some alone time every week. Example if your boyfriend works on Saturdays. Make sure and find time for yourself on Saturdays. Set aside a few hours for yourself.
During this time you can try to learn how to orgasm on your own. But thing is you want to have no pressure. I would just say to yourself, I am going to have a great time learning about my body. The key here is to have a great time!!! If you dont orgasm who cares. Just have fun. Make this a great experience. Do many things you might like. Set up a nice romantic environment for yourself. Take a nice warm bath first. Then go in your room, maybe light some beautiful candles. Put on some nice mellow love music. Maybe have a few toys near by. Maybe give yourself a light body massage. Maybe the first time you dont even touch yourself that much. You are in control. Just have fun. Experiment. Regardless just make sure that after that session you are feeling great!!! If you had no orgasm who cares. This time was for you and you had a great time and hopefully you are saying to yourself I cant wait for next week when i get to do this again!!! I think if you do this one day you will reach orgasm! And wowsers just think of all the fun you will have leading up to that time! If you dont reach orgasm for a few months who cares just think of all the wonderful feelings you will be giving yourself. Treat yourself to this every Saturday! You deserve it! Some great fun alone time...Yipee!!!
Hi my name is sherry i have the same problem the doctor put me on something for my depression its called Cipralex i ben only taking it for a couple of monthes i was fine before i took it i could cum it just took me a little longer but now since i ben taking the meds and me and my boyfriend make love and he gives me oral and plays with it i cant cum and feels like i need to or i want real bad its makes me upset knowing i want to and the thing is i lie and tell my boyfriend i did when he giving me oral and intercouse too so he wont feel bad for me
Honestly I'm a 23 year old female and I have never had a man get me to orgasm. Even using a toy it can take 2 hours or more for me to reach climax. The one thing that has drarasiticy increased my sex life is that I got a vertical hood piercing (clit piecing). Oddly enough it has helped to reach climax within 15 minutes. The piercing just increases sensation and my partner and I have gotten a lot of benefits from it. Getting a piercing isnt the most convetional solution but for me it has massively helped. For the women who are concerned of the kind of piercing it is 2 seconds of pain and 2 weeks healing time. Hope this helps.