To go back to the original question, is it REALLY unsafe to become pregnant soon after an abortion?
I had an abortion in August. Now I want to become pregnant again and keep it. I realize this might be just an emotional response, but I am sure I'm ready now.
I have had a "regular" period since then. The amount of blood was almost same as usual (maybe only a tiny bit lighter). So I am assuming my uterine lining is rebuilding just fine. What are my chances of having a miscarriage if I became pregnant? I am 35.
Please respond with helpful information only.
I had an abortion in August. Now I want to become pregnant again and keep it. I realize this might be just an emotional response, but I am sure I'm ready now.
I have had a "regular" period since then. The amount of blood was almost same as usual (maybe only a tiny bit lighter). So I am assuming my uterine lining is rebuilding just fine. What are my chances of having a miscarriage if I became pregnant? I am 35.
Please respond with helpful information only.
how did it go, im in the same boat as u?
I had a medication abortion feb 11 09. I regretted it instantly. Plus the pain I endured was horrible and I didn't even get a baby out of it. I knew that I was gonna try to get pregnant as soon as I could. I bleed for 3 weeks and then it stopped and started back for a few days a week later. My regular period came back 8 weeks after the abortion.
I found out yesterday that I am pregnant again. I'm so excited for this pregnancy but I'm still so sad for the baby that I am not with now. I would be 5 months pregnant had I not aborted. This experience has made me totally against birth control.
I know many women who have had abortions and are completely happy about their decision. I thought I would have been one of them. I was the most depressed I have ever been in my life. I cried so much. Even writing this now is making me tear up. I really hope this pregnancy will provide the some healing for me.
I found out yesterday that I am pregnant again. I'm so excited for this pregnancy but I'm still so sad for the baby that I am not with now. I would be 5 months pregnant had I not aborted. This experience has made me totally against birth control.
I know many women who have had abortions and are completely happy about their decision. I thought I would have been one of them. I was the most depressed I have ever been in my life. I cried so much. Even writing this now is making me tear up. I really hope this pregnancy will provide the some healing for me.
i too have had an abortion about a year ago yet i agree with you completely. I urge if any woman that comes across this page will think about if you should go through with an abortion. i speak for myself, and all i can say is that i regret it more than anything else. i do feel that i don't deserve to have a child in future because of the choice that i have made. Even though i still pray that one day if God has forgiven me that he will bless me once again. Theres isnt a day where i see a beautiful baby and my heart just aches and i always think, that i shouldnt of been so damn selfish. its a feeling that, im sure, you wouldnt ever want to feel. I hope you know that to be blessed with a child is so precious. Not every woman is blessed like others. think about that. im sure that no matter what the situation is, the best decision is to keep your child,because in the end no matter what, everything WILL be okay. i know that some of you who will read this will say that i contradict myself, but as the saying goes, you don't know what you have until its gone. please think twice.
Dear Just_Curious, I want you to know you are not alone. I had an abortion after I got pg accidentally at 40. I thought it was a rational decision but after the abortion, all I could think about was getting pregnant again. You are not a horrible person you are suffering and this is your subconcious way of trying to come to terms with your abortion. Please think about why you want to get pregnant - is is because you want another child or is it because you are trying to undo something you feel a lot of trauma and guilt about. Please don't let the judgments of others affect you, you are already hurting enough.
I have to admit, I stumbled onto this forum completely by accident. But I read a lot of the replies to this and I'm saddened deeply by what answers this young woman was given.
When I was 14 I was raped in my home by a man my family loved. When I turned 15 a few months later, I pushed myself hard into a shady backwoods clinic and got a sloppy and possibly illegal abortion for $600. I told no one until I was much older. The fact that hits me the hardest about my own story is that the abortion still hurts me deeply, while the rape has long since lost its flame. I just want to poke and prod at you people and point out that mistakes happen, and whatever this girl's reasons were for her abortion, they all lead up to one thing.
You are not ready for a child. If you just had an abortion, not only does your body need to heal (mine, after 7 years has yet to make a full recovery) but your mind needs to heal. If you chose an abortion because your fetus was unhealthy, or conceived from some painful or unholy means then you need to heal from THAT. You need to get through the emotions of hurt from abuse, or hurt from the loss. If your child was deformed, or dangerous to your own health then perhaps you should give it time to be sure that doesn't happen again. Maybe get a few more paps and make sure you're healthy. If you aborted your child because you didn't want it, then you're simply being ridiculous and you should probably never be a mother. At least not until you grow up, yourself and have at least a shred of sense to your name. Either way, I truly suggest that you give yourself a few years. You may get pregnant and find that you don't want it, or that you can't handle it, and that is unfair to that life.
I'm not a martyr, and I'm not throwing this at you because I think it will matter to you or anyone else that read this. I think I am posting it because I can't read something like "I had an abortion just 'cause nunya, and now I want a baby" and not put in my two-cents. I have to tell you, some of you have really fallen short, and some of you are overshooting.
Good luck to all of you, may life offer you the sense to recognize the RIGHT choices for yourself, and those who rely on you.
When I was 14 I was raped in my home by a man my family loved. When I turned 15 a few months later, I pushed myself hard into a shady backwoods clinic and got a sloppy and possibly illegal abortion for $600. I told no one until I was much older. The fact that hits me the hardest about my own story is that the abortion still hurts me deeply, while the rape has long since lost its flame. I just want to poke and prod at you people and point out that mistakes happen, and whatever this girl's reasons were for her abortion, they all lead up to one thing.
You are not ready for a child. If you just had an abortion, not only does your body need to heal (mine, after 7 years has yet to make a full recovery) but your mind needs to heal. If you chose an abortion because your fetus was unhealthy, or conceived from some painful or unholy means then you need to heal from THAT. You need to get through the emotions of hurt from abuse, or hurt from the loss. If your child was deformed, or dangerous to your own health then perhaps you should give it time to be sure that doesn't happen again. Maybe get a few more paps and make sure you're healthy. If you aborted your child because you didn't want it, then you're simply being ridiculous and you should probably never be a mother. At least not until you grow up, yourself and have at least a shred of sense to your name. Either way, I truly suggest that you give yourself a few years. You may get pregnant and find that you don't want it, or that you can't handle it, and that is unfair to that life.
I'm not a martyr, and I'm not throwing this at you because I think it will matter to you or anyone else that read this. I think I am posting it because I can't read something like "I had an abortion just 'cause nunya, and now I want a baby" and not put in my two-cents. I have to tell you, some of you have really fallen short, and some of you are overshooting.
Good luck to all of you, may life offer you the sense to recognize the RIGHT choices for yourself, and those who rely on you.
I am eighteen and a sophmore in college. I understand what a lot of the women are saying when they want to have a baby right after having an abortion. I had an abortion less than a week ago. I wasn't being selfish by killing my baby. I was being way too selfless. I wanted to have the baby so bad. I thought about how my fiances' parents would feel, my parents, my fiance. My fiance, twenty-one, didn't want it because we are not financially ready and he does not want to join the military in order for me to have it. I just felt like if I kept my baby I would be putting a burden on everyone I am close to. So I had a medical abortion out of the best interest of everyone else. It was the most painful and traumatic experience of my life. My feelings of sadness and guilt have affected every aspect of my life. My relationships with all the people I had the abortion for has caused me to be so distant from them. I have been skipping school more. I have been going down a destructive path very quickly. My fiance last night said he wanted to keep it too now. I just wish he would have told me that a week ago. I am desperate to get pregnant again. I feel that mothering a child would make up for my mistake, take away some guilt, and put me back on a positive path in life. I don't know if this will really help but I am willing to try anything to make the situation better.
Hi, I want to let you know that no one has ANY idea what it is like to be in that position until they have been there themselves - trust me. You cannot preach when you haven't been there. I know people who have had an abortion after alot of pain and thought and I don't think anyone ever takes it lightly.. It is not something anyone WANTS to do - it is deciding what you feel is the least worst scenario at this point in their lives and is often done for selfless reasons when the baby is wanted. Alot of people force themselves to go against so many natural instincts to continue with the pregnancy and aren't prepared for the emotional grief and pain it will cause them and sometimes this makes them realise that they made the wrong decision and they do want a baby afterall. I don't think ANYONE takes it lightly and gets pregnant just to gleefully abort. it is a very painful experience that no one ever wants to have to do. I'm so shocked by the narrow mindedness and ignorance of some of these comments. To the original poster - it is best to call a post abortion help line or go to a doctor who can give you the correct and safe information, please don't ask these . They won't help you as they can not understand where you've been. you are not a bad person. Lots of love and good luck.
I'm sorry but what makes you think that everyone on here had unprotected sex? I'm basically new and I ended up getting pregnant when I was on the pill. Just because people have had an abortion doesn't mean it was because they had unprotected sex. And secondly I'm assuming from your comments that you are totally against abortion? If you are against abortion they why are you lookin on these discussions? To pick on women who have went through an abortion. You say it's murder right? If people on here are anything like me if someone came a said things like that to be I would be on the verge or suicide and that's no joke. So wouldn't people like you be murders if it's your words that caused it?
Sorry but I'm just venting my opinion.
When it comes to you wanting another baby after an abortion whether it was your choice or it had to be done for reasons I would consider your decision about wanting a baby. Like many people on here I have to go through everyday feeling empty. I've had the feelings or getting pregnant again and attempted it a few times but I know if it did happen I would give up everything at the drop of a hat. It's just whatever your situation is and you had to give up your job or something would you? Just because personally a second abortion is just going to cause alot more pain in my eyes. Just think carefully about it.
Sorry but I'm just venting my opinion.
When it comes to you wanting another baby after an abortion whether it was your choice or it had to be done for reasons I would consider your decision about wanting a baby. Like many people on here I have to go through everyday feeling empty. I've had the feelings or getting pregnant again and attempted it a few times but I know if it did happen I would give up everything at the drop of a hat. It's just whatever your situation is and you had to give up your job or something would you? Just because personally a second abortion is just going to cause alot more pain in my eyes. Just think carefully about it.
Why someone chooses an abortion is nobodies business but the mother and father of the child. There are many medical reasons as to why one would abort. And I know, so many of you shun the secular area stating that "God doesn't make mistakes". OK, I will not persecute any of you, but understand that it is humans that make mistakes that cause malformations in fetus's and their own health. I know this from experience as I took medications that in NO WAY should I get pregnant on, because there is a HUGE risk of complications that come about from it's use. However, as we soon found out, birth control is not effective for me. My daughter is a triplet, conceived on birth control, as was this past pregnancy (which was 10 years after my daughters birth). In addition to the medications, I was high risk at the time, as I was very ill.
Nobody "wants" to have an abortion. It's a horrible feeling knowing that you have destroyed something so innocent. However, there are many women who are incapable of managing the grief of the self inflicted loss and are soon to be pregnant again, trying to set what they now feel as wrong, right. Then there is me, one who has realized after a failure of birth control that resulted in a pregnancy that would have been fatal in one way or another, that they wish to try for a healthy baby, the RIGHT way.
Our reasons are nobodies business but our own. We are the ones who must live with the grief of our actions, for the rest of our lives, not those who are pointing the fingers stating how wrong those are who have made a choice to abort; whether it be for personal or medical reasons. We don't have to justify anything for you. And in all honesty, what you think of me is none of my business either. After all, it is a matter of opinion, yours. I wasn't interested in your opinion when I chose the procedure that did in fact save my life as well as the finding out that the fetus had experienced malformations due to the medications... why would I care what you think now? I have made my decisions and it is I that must live with whatever consequences there may be. Go ahead and tell my 10-year-old daughter that you would rather me risk my life and she lose her mother than make the difficult choice that was laid in front of me.
People hide behind their own ignorance as well as personal convictions and choose to NOT see things from a more pluralistic view point.
Nobody "wants" to have an abortion. It's a horrible feeling knowing that you have destroyed something so innocent. However, there are many women who are incapable of managing the grief of the self inflicted loss and are soon to be pregnant again, trying to set what they now feel as wrong, right. Then there is me, one who has realized after a failure of birth control that resulted in a pregnancy that would have been fatal in one way or another, that they wish to try for a healthy baby, the RIGHT way.
Our reasons are nobodies business but our own. We are the ones who must live with the grief of our actions, for the rest of our lives, not those who are pointing the fingers stating how wrong those are who have made a choice to abort; whether it be for personal or medical reasons. We don't have to justify anything for you. And in all honesty, what you think of me is none of my business either. After all, it is a matter of opinion, yours. I wasn't interested in your opinion when I chose the procedure that did in fact save my life as well as the finding out that the fetus had experienced malformations due to the medications... why would I care what you think now? I have made my decisions and it is I that must live with whatever consequences there may be. Go ahead and tell my 10-year-old daughter that you would rather me risk my life and she lose her mother than make the difficult choice that was laid in front of me.
People hide behind their own ignorance as well as personal convictions and choose to NOT see things from a more pluralistic view point.
Why do people assume such things?
I had an abortion once. At the time I *WANTED* to be pregnant. Unfortunately, I got VERY sick. Development was not going as "planned." My doctor told me I "could" continue with the pregnancy - but that is was possible that if it went badly it could tear me up badly enough to make it very hard to get pregnant again. He was expecting me to miscarry.
He gave us the option of taking it into our own hands so the healing could begin and we could try again.
That was several years ago - and now I have a wonderful son. I would not trade him for anything. Sometimes hard decisions must be made. I assure you THAT decision is harder than most of you can imagine.
Just because you have to have an abortion does NOT mean you don't want a child. Nor does it make you a monster for that matter. You have your reasons for doing what you are doing.
My husband and I waited 3 months after the abortion before trying again. It took us a couple years to get pregnant again. (We have fertility issues. which made the decision even harder)
When I got pregnant the second time things went a lot more "normally" than the first time because some unresolved health issues I had the first time were being taken care of. (Hypothyroidism)
Whatever your reasons where though - resolve them before getting pregnant again. This way the next time going into it you feel more comfortable and less frightened
I had an abortion once. At the time I *WANTED* to be pregnant. Unfortunately, I got VERY sick. Development was not going as "planned." My doctor told me I "could" continue with the pregnancy - but that is was possible that if it went badly it could tear me up badly enough to make it very hard to get pregnant again. He was expecting me to miscarry.
He gave us the option of taking it into our own hands so the healing could begin and we could try again.
That was several years ago - and now I have a wonderful son. I would not trade him for anything. Sometimes hard decisions must be made. I assure you THAT decision is harder than most of you can imagine.
Just because you have to have an abortion does NOT mean you don't want a child. Nor does it make you a monster for that matter. You have your reasons for doing what you are doing.
My husband and I waited 3 months after the abortion before trying again. It took us a couple years to get pregnant again. (We have fertility issues. which made the decision even harder)
When I got pregnant the second time things went a lot more "normally" than the first time because some unresolved health issues I had the first time were being taken care of. (Hypothyroidism)
Whatever your reasons where though - resolve them before getting pregnant again. This way the next time going into it you feel more comfortable and less frightened
I agree with the previous posts, that people do not need to post things that are just plain nasty. However, that being said, I think all of us need to realize that this a posting forum, and that everyone here has a different point of view. These arent easy subjects to "broach" if you will. Wether or not people "hide" behind personal convictions, "religion", or what have you, can be very obvious in the content of the post, then there are others whom have had different expericences that often shape their view of the subject, regardless, this is a public forum where, as adults, we need to be respectful of anothers differences wether we agree or not. It is our choice how we react and things that we post to others. Our actions cannot be blamed on another.
I myself have come into contact with MANY MANY different women who have babies in their womb whom have been given the "death sentence" (so to speak) by a doctor....MYSELF INCLUDED and have given birth only to find out that their was absoulutely nothing wrong with the baby. I do not wish to judge others, just to try and encourage and help as best I can but also to present honesty.
Just a thought,
Hizgrace
I myself have come into contact with MANY MANY different women who have babies in their womb whom have been given the "death sentence" (so to speak) by a doctor....MYSELF INCLUDED and have given birth only to find out that their was absoulutely nothing wrong with the baby. I do not wish to judge others, just to try and encourage and help as best I can but also to present honesty.
Just a thought,
Hizgrace
Matthew 7:3 ""Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye?"
For a bunch of "Good Christians" I'm seeing lots of you who have forgotten the Lord's words.
I had a termination 2 weeks ago because I was told I could terminate then or miscarry before 5 months. I found out FOUR DAYS LATER that the doctor who told me that was so incredibly wrong and I was crushed as the pregnancy was highly desired by my partner and myself. I had three terminations prior due to an ex fiance and abuse and had feared I would never get pregnant again. God forgave me those, will God forgive your judgment of others on His behalf? You might want to consider that.
As it stands, I am waiting for my appointment to be examined and ask the NEW perinatologist his advice for conception. I have a unicornuate uterus and was told it would be impossible to carry beyond 16-18 weeks. Research has shown that not only is it POSSIBLE, it's probable and just requires a bit more monitoring. So me? Two weeks later I am desperate to know how soon I can try again. I wanted to hold my last child in my arms and was told I'd never be able to, to know I can only makes it that more urgent for me to try again.
I don't care if a woman has 1 abortion or 100. Her body is her own. Even Judaism states that a baby is not "alive" until it draws its' first breath...I figure they don't call him the God of Abraham for nothing.
So many high horses. I wonder if it's difficult to breathe in the thin air up there
For a bunch of "Good Christians" I'm seeing lots of you who have forgotten the Lord's words.
I had a termination 2 weeks ago because I was told I could terminate then or miscarry before 5 months. I found out FOUR DAYS LATER that the doctor who told me that was so incredibly wrong and I was crushed as the pregnancy was highly desired by my partner and myself. I had three terminations prior due to an ex fiance and abuse and had feared I would never get pregnant again. God forgave me those, will God forgive your judgment of others on His behalf? You might want to consider that.
As it stands, I am waiting for my appointment to be examined and ask the NEW perinatologist his advice for conception. I have a unicornuate uterus and was told it would be impossible to carry beyond 16-18 weeks. Research has shown that not only is it POSSIBLE, it's probable and just requires a bit more monitoring. So me? Two weeks later I am desperate to know how soon I can try again. I wanted to hold my last child in my arms and was told I'd never be able to, to know I can only makes it that more urgent for me to try again.
I don't care if a woman has 1 abortion or 100. Her body is her own. Even Judaism states that a baby is not "alive" until it draws its' first breath...I figure they don't call him the God of Abraham for nothing.
So many high horses. I wonder if it's difficult to breathe in the thin air up there
It hurts me to see that everyone assumes that an abortion is a "choice." I was pregnant and couldn't of been happier. I went for my first trimester screening and soon learned a few days later that my baby was going to die due to a severe chromosome disorder. I HAD to have an abortion for the safety of my body because my daughter had no chance of survival.
Please, everyone, do not assume that everyone chooses an abortion because that is not the case. There is nothing I want more in this world than to be a mother. If I wouldn't of had the procedure done, my daughter would of miscarriaged and my body would of been in even greater harm, and my mind, as I waited for her to die inside of me.
Please, everyone, do not assume that everyone chooses an abortion because that is not the case. There is nothing I want more in this world than to be a mother. If I wouldn't of had the procedure done, my daughter would of miscarriaged and my body would of been in even greater harm, and my mind, as I waited for her to die inside of me.
Hi everyone,
I know how you all feel, I also had an abortion a month ago which I didn't want to go through with. I remember sitting waiting to go into theatre and I kept thinking I can't do this but I felt I didn't have a choice. My boyfriend who had always said he would be there for the baby if he got me pregnant, then told me to get an abortion. My family didn't want me to have it, I knew I couldnt do it on my own. Before I had the abortion, I would always cry at night and tell my unborn child how sorry I was and how I wish I could have kept it. After the abortion, during recovery I was so upset. None of the other women were. Afterwards I kept hoping I was still pregnant but then I started bleeding two weeks later and I continue to do so. I prayer to God all the time to have my baby back and I always prayer for his forgiveness. All I can think about now is getting pregnant again, I know I shouldn't but I just really want to have a baby, I always have done even more so after this. I feel so guilty killing it, I really didn't want to, I should have listened to my heart.