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I'm a 34 yr old mother of 2 and happily married. What started as a legitimate pain meds for both me and my husband eventually we needed more. That was 7 yrs ago. In the meantime we found friends, dealers, etc. 6 months ago we started snorting heroin because our tolerance was so high! We tried kicking this many times to end up giving in after the 3 rd day because we had to work or take care of the kids. The only successful kick was when we did it separately, I kept using and took care of him. Then he did that for me when he was better. Then stupid us said, well we can just use on weekends, which again turned into weekdays to get thru work. Well I quit my job, so we couldn't afford it anymore and almost lost our house to foreclosure. Had to drain his 401k to stay in our house. We don't want to be tethered to this demon. We tried suboxone and it made us both sick. I'm not sure Why because we waited until 36hrs after last dose and were in w/d for sure. So I'm on day two of my wd and let me tell you that besides the shakiness, I'm okay...my remedy has been clonodine and Lyrica. My husband is taking off Friday and having his last dose tonight (Thursday) only so someone can take care of the kids. But I could definitely do that. My biggest problem with wd is the sadness. I get so damn depressed, then the cravings start because I know they will take away the crawling skin and sadness...but this time I don't have that and I truly think it's the Lyrica. I snorted it in the mornings to get quicker relief. Then I take it thru the day. But it makes you sleepy, so that's the only downside. I think the shakiness is from not eating...I'm not nauseous but I'm not hungry. We've been trying since April to stop this madness, but one of us always gives in. It's really hard when there are two of you trying to get clean because you hate seeing the other not feeling well and devise some excuse for getting it. Well that always means a bill goes unpaid and that has to stop now. MIT was okay when we took perscriptions, but when it's all out of pocket, there comes a point where you have to stop. This thread has been great and very different from others. It can be done...I watched 2 others get clean going cold turkey...difference was they don't have kids. I need to be a mom again, not just leave them to entertain themselves. They are happy, they have things that most kids don't, but they are only little for so long, then they are gone. I don't want to miss these years because I'm driving out 30 min every night to pick up some. We don't hang out with friends because we don't drink with our opiates and it's more fun to do our own thing. Sorry to go on and on but I never expected to be a heroin sniffing junkie! But the fear of withdrawal and the lack of do tor support drives MANY normal people into this hell and I wish that on nobody. My remedy: Lyrica, clonodine and vitamin water zero XXX. I drink it anytime I feel sick, it's amazing. But the big one has been Lyrica. Best wishes to you all, day 2 and holding strong!
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Stay strong, you can do it! If the WD's get tto bad, look into the kratom, I know I keep preaching about it, but I could not have stopped taking without it!
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I have read this thread throgh my first 48 hours. Georgia thank you for the music. I thank you all for your honesty!!!

 

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Thank you, how are you doing?
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Okay so I have been an addict for as long as I can remember. I'm 32 and fighting this again. I'm sick more than high , but think I have under control. I want this behind me for once. I don't have it in me to keep up this fight. I have succsefully home detoxed to use a week or three later. Listening to your stories and watching you guys get through it has inspired me to try this one last time. I appreciate any music suggestions and things that help you. thank you

 

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Hey Purple! you hang in there , you can beat this! it sucks, its hard, but it does get better! some music to help u get thru, look up Live from Daryls house, they have some great sets on there. STAY STRONG!
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Thank you Georgia!!!! You have helped me more than you know!

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Once I get through the physical wich is worse than anticipated. What keeps you from going back. How do you replace the love of the drug with real things.

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How do I replace the love I have for the drug with real things. I didn't expect the physical to be this bad, but not as bad as past wd's. I don't see past the happiness the drug gives me and am scared.I don't want this life, but dont see another one.
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Getting clean is hard, STAYING clean that is the really hard part. There is not a week that goes by, that I don't have an urge for a fix.
Finding anything(healthy) to keep your mind off the drugs is how I have done it so far. Like I said, with time it gets better, over the months the urges get less and less. I have taken up reading again, getting back into music, even writing about my experiences has helped. The biggest factor is the life style change, luckily I am not around others who use, or the temptation might be too much, so as far as the long term strategy, that one is key. Change your surroundings if you can, if you are around addicts all the time, they can drag you right back in, so if your friends use, you need to stay away from them. Find any kind of support group you can, talking about your battle can really help! Keep writing on this forum, I will check in when I can and offer any advice that I can! Get plenty of fruit, juice, this helps with your stomach, oh and some chocolate, I found that helps with some of the addiction WD's. Are you taking anything to help get off, or are you going cold turkey? There are a lot of natural herbs that can help as well.

Hang in there!
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just ativan and lope. It's past that point I don't have friends, I have dealers unfortunately because of the 3 day weekend can't order anything online till tues. The area I am in makes it easier to score than get recovery at meetings. I have isolated myself since friday. thanks again
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Two other things, sleep, any thing that will help you sleep...and hot showers/baths, to help leech out the chems in your body.

Go listen to Hold on by Alabama Shakes!

peace
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I have it is my favorite of all your songs. Sleep:impossible I did get some fluids down. I don't have the energy to get in shower.
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I also believe strang things/sighns happen during this time,

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I wonder why once again I lie torturd in the bowls of withdrawls ugly cluth. Is this my desiny and if  it is it better damb be time for a new chapter. I have money I honestly don't want drugs. I get confused and glorify the high.....hahahaa, They should call it low cause it will bring you lower than you ever thought imaginable. I guess "wanna come get lower than you ever want with me?" Does not hold the same lure. I was living in sobriety once before a last set of relapses and I rember feeling lucky that I was an addict. It gave me an outlook that only other addicts could grab it was a second chance and I laughed, boy did I laugh when it was funny or not. I guess the answers are in me just helps to have someone guiede me through this for I am alone. And I'm a tough little girl but when it plays tricks on my mind and i find myself so far from who I am I get scared. And since so hard to do anything it's nice to be told what to do. thank you all........I'll Hold on tonight Georgia might be hard but that I got.

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