I'm literally reading this crying, I totally needed to see this today. my serious boyfriend and I have been together over two years now & have talked about having children. I've always wanted to be a mom and he's always wanted kids . We're both 25 and everybody asks when we're gonna start on kids. Literally EVERYONE I know is having a baby or has young children. Recently I found out his sister is pregnant and we are really close.whoopie. It's not that I'm mad it's just like idk I feel like he knows what to do to make it happen and he's just like holding it over my head bc he's not "ready" like what does that even mean ? We both have great jobs and everything going for us right now and he just keeps saying not now. He knows how bad I want a kid and I think he's just being kinda selfish wanting to do everything on his terms .
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I am only 22 but I want a baby. We have been married just over 2 years but like most I want kids young. How can I cope or at least wait till he wants them? Help!
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hi everyone i am facing the similar issue. i am 31 now and my husband is 32. every now and then i keep pushing him to have kids and he is just not ready. i am married for 5 years now and so i dont want to delay. but at the sametime i dont want to bring child without my husbad agreement. attimes i feel sad and depressed as to what should i do. due to this we dont have a good sex life ad well. please suggest
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I know this is like super late but I feel the same way. My husband has 3 kids from his first marriage and I asked him before we even got together to begin with if he would be willing to have more kids with me and he said yes. Now I'm not so sure. Every time I bring it up he starts making jokes like maybe in 15 years. Liiiikke, what the actual f&$@???? I'm not sure if he realizes those "jokes" that he thinks are funny, hurt. I love his kids like they are my own but I really want my own. Heck, I've always wanted a little baby girl. If that's what we get the first time, I would be perfectly okay with just having the one. That'll make two girls and two boys. I'm fine with that. But it seems like he doesn't want a baby with me anymore.
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I KNOW exactly how you feel. I'm 31and been married to my husband for 9 years. He got his degree, a job, we have a house. The only thing is missing is a baby. No matter what I do I can't seem to convince him to have a kid with me. Yesterday, he talked to me how expensive child day care cost are. I don't know what to do anymore. I am terrible miserable with myself. But I pretend that Im okay with no baby but deep inside I am not. I thought I was the only one have the no baby problem. I hope your husband is realizing this baby thing is really selfish of him. Women in nature have to procreate it's what makes us women. We want to be a mother at some point in our life.
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I'm the same age except I've been married for 9. I hope our husband realize how much they're hurting their wives. All we want is to have a family what's so wrong about that? Good luck!
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Any other suggestions to get over this baby fever? I've got a 6 month old puppy and I'm enrolled in 7 college courses. Yet I still have time to want a baby. My husband wants to wait until I'm completely done with school which should be in a another year and a half. I'll be graduating either this spring or in the fall. Then I have to do a year (fall/spring) credential program to become a legal teacher and not just a sub.
My husband doesn't seem to understand that it usually takes a bit of time once you get off birth control to get pregnant. I just don't see what is so bad by finishing college pregnant? I hate that he's not ready. Even as hormonal as I am I just want him to want a baby like I do. A year ago when he was deployed he was ready to try when he got back. Now, he pulls out even on birth control...
So please, any baby fever cures would be AMAZING.
My husband doesn't seem to understand that it usually takes a bit of time once you get off birth control to get pregnant. I just don't see what is so bad by finishing college pregnant? I hate that he's not ready. Even as hormonal as I am I just want him to want a baby like I do. A year ago when he was deployed he was ready to try when he got back. Now, he pulls out even on birth control...
So please, any baby fever cures would be AMAZING.
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Advice for people on the blog is to have an open communication with your husband. I didn't want to have kids right away but for about 4 years now I have. My mother's been sick the past 3 years and my husband has own health issues too so both issues put baby planning on hold but as we're getting older, I communicated how strongly I would like to have children. When I asked my husband what really is delaying him because we are saving, he said his biggest fears were losing me in childbirth and passing on his genetic conditions. We talked about it and genetic conditions may or may not get passed down so I don't want that to prevent us from having kids. Financially I think we are well off you can never have enough. Ive I've waited because I do believe that both Partners need to be in it with him and children pressuring a spouse or tricking them is not fair and I think would cause a lot of issues . I've been lately trying to put myself in my husband shoes I was trying to deal with stressful job is only health and mortgage payments . I can see where that any kids that makes sounds terrifying it take to get a little free time you think you have. I think men fear having kids a lot more than women. It is a lifestyle change and it scares me too. But I think of our future I think of children in our lives. The only way to get there is to conceive- they're not going to magically appear on their own. If I couldn't have children on myrown biologically I'll be okay with that adoption but I'd like us to try having our own first. Here's hoping we can make a child in the next year and it won't drive us completely bonkers.
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Hi Chelsea, everything you said is exactly how I'm feeling, and I'm 22 now, and my husband just doesn't want kids. He wants to wait another year/plus. I can't wait that long because already I'm resenting him, everytime I see a child or a pregnant mom, it's get me overwhelmed and I don't no what to do. I know this post was a while back, but what did you do. I'd love to hear from you.
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It's extremely unhealthy that your husband is withholding sex from you. It's a form of manipulation and abuse, and my guess is he resents you wanting a baby so bad and is trying to get back at you in a subtle way. I really hope you guys have been able to move past that. I understand your feelings, I'm also very young and married and have been wanting one for years. My husband teases me by saying things like maybe we could think about that soon but when the time comes down to it he backs out.
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I feel exactly the same way. I have been in the same situation for almost a year now. He is also not ready. I nont obsess that much anymore, but i pray alot. I dont know what to do in a situation like this. But i just wanted to let you know that u are not alone.
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I'm literally crying next to my husband. We get into baby fights every other week. Breast cancer and ovarian cancer has hit every female in my family when they hit 35-40. And it's hitting younger every year. He doesn't understand how bad I want a baby of my own. He keeps saying, " there's still adoption" but I want a baby. I want to carry a baby. Have nothing sickness. Be hormonal. I can't help but break down just thinking about it.
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I'm very happy and glad to see all these posts out here. I'm not married or engaged yet to my boyfriend we've been together only 6 months and found ourselves with an unexpected pregnancy he claims not to be ready and wont be for a few more years however were already 2 months pregnant is he ever going to be ready? I'm 31 and hes 36 I dont want him to become a dad at age 40..
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Thank you so much for this post. The urge and want to have children is incredible...the pressure only complicates. I feel like older generations do not necessarily understand how difficult it is financially and then unfortunately (once financially comfortable) physically to have a kid.
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