I want a baby, but my husband "isnt ready"

I'm 27 and my husband is 25, we've been married 3 years out of five years together. I love him so much but he's not ready yet, he says we're not financially stable and he doesn't know how to cope with even thinking about it. He wants a better job and for us to have a house but I've been ready for a couple of years and the urge is getting stronger now. Plus everyone around me is having babies and makes me want it more! I find I get depressed about it. We had an 'accident' at the beginning of the month and went to the doctors today for a pg test, it came back negative - he let out a huge sigh of relief and I cried when we got home. He just won't listen to me about the subject and it's getting me down.

 

I do find some solace that you all feel the same (even if this thread is a few years old).

Have any of you got your wish yet?

x

I wrote in 2012 & have not been pregnant. I married the same man, because I love him & we are soul mates. Also, he still is terrified of having children. It is truly our only dysfunction, but you know how bad & big it can be.

I wrote in 2012 as judy bloomers & have not been pregnant. I married the same man, because I love him & we are soul mates. Also, he still is terrified of having children. It is truly our only dysfunction, but you know how bad & big it can be all on its own.
I am still miserable about the issue. It is still the only real problem between us, & I'm a pretty big b***h about the whole thing at this point.

I have had more good than bad times in the past 2 years, and we had a beautiful/wonderful engagement & wedding time. Our home & family & dogs we raised together are happy/healthy/full of love & sex & laughter. He is my match in life, through & through.

then the time came that Im ready to go off the pill this past spring & he pulled back in fear and asked for 3 more months to prepare & get right with it. I initially fought it & said no, but I agreed, and told him I will not be on birth control after august of this year. Its the last of my prescription, & I am done with it in August no matter what he is ready for. He agreed.
Another pushback, but I'm trying to make my peace with it.

We booked a bunch of daredevil excursion weekends & winery tours this summer to ease the issue, Alaskan cruise in July. Last hurrah's before physically settling down. It definitely helps to have more quality time together doing romantic couples things like that,

I;m keeping busy & am just starting to feel a little better about the pushback....staying functional & not getting too weird about this all.

be careful babe.....I've been with my husband for 10 years & have been wanting babies since I'm 25...I have been trusting him & going with his lead on this by putting off kids till he's more ready, as he has never steered us wrong....even though im very ready. plus he does everything else he can for me to try & make the rest of out life sweet, so i've tolerated waiting..

I'm 31 now with no kids, & he is still terrified & putting it off. Youre 27 or 28? You could seriously be me in 3 or 4- years. 31 without kids, never ever having imagined you would be so old without children. I dont regret it as we have a wonderful relationship full of beautiful memories thus far, but if I had been more of a b***h about the topic 5 years ago {the way I never wanted to act about it} He may have more ready, like he is now. maybe not, but Only after I turned into a total b***h about it this year did he finally say: ok August of this year we will stop birth control, stop pulling out & begin the process. No putting it off again.

I can say I wish I would have spoken up more about how important it was to me back then instead of us both acting like this was only my problem to shoulder. I don;t know you, but I urge you to be very vocal NOW, with tears to get him to get how much you want it. It's not drama, you cry about it on your own anyways....You may be truly carrying it within you like I did & letting him off the hook emotionally. Don't. He should share the stress with you. He's your partner & you are down about something. HE loves you, he should be right there with you. It will help him see how serious it could be to put this off for too long....

I'm glad I'm not the only person going through this. All I've ever wanted to be was a mom. No careers stand out to me. I feel the only thing I will ever be this passionate about is having kids. I dream that I am 1)pregnant, 2) have a child already or 3)in the process of birthing the baby at least twice a week. My husband and I have been together for 3 years, but have only been married 3 months. In the last month or 2 the feelings to be a mom have become so strong. It's practically all I can think about. I know if I pushed hard enough, he would give in to it and agree to start trying, but logically, we aren't financially ready. It will probably be another year before we can get a loan and buy our own home, and I won't graduate from my college for another 9 months. Everyone in his family would be thrilled if we had kids now, and they ask us about it almost every time we see them. My sisters would probably be excited for us, but my mom is completely against it right now, even though we are adults (I'm 23 and he is 27). She says we haven't been together long enough and we need to wait. I want it so bad and feel I'm incomplete without my baby in my arms, but I don't want to be the reason we end up struggling through life. But others have children every day in these situations and with determination they manage to still rise above and make a wonderful life for themselves. It would be so easy to "slip up". I quit taking bc for medical reasons, so all we use is condoms. I keep my fingers crossed, secretly wishing one of those little guys will just slip through because it would be easier to say it was an accident than say we intentionally did it. I feel your pain.... But sometimes it seems like no one gets it.

My husband and I was 3 years together..I need a baby .but he is not ready ...I don't know what's the issue.. Always excuses!!!.. First he want me to work,then house loan bla bla.....My in laws started asking me...I replied my in -law....ask him...

I'm so glad I found this! And people my age! I'm only 21 and have been married for a little less than a year. I already have an urge to have a child but know I need to wait a few years to save up more money and be more stable. When me and my husband would talk about it we would say 'a couple of years' which to me was around two. So we'd be 23-24 and we'll save up those two years and hopefully be more finically secure. But yesterday he said he wants to wait until he is completely out of the navy. And I understand he doesn't want to miss any parts of our child's life. But I'll be close to 30 when he is done with everything he wants to do with the navy. I'm 21 and want a child extremely bad and he wants me to wait until I'm 30! How am I suppose to do that? I Feel so much better that I'm not alone in this and hope everyones situation works out for the best!

Hi everyone!

So it seems like I'm not the only one who is going through this, espcically at 24 years old. I've been with my boyfriend since we were 17-18. ( yesterday it was our 7th year anniversary and he just turned 25.) For a year, I've been wanting to have kids. He says he wants to wait till he is ready, financally and emtionally.  Just like most of you ladies say, these men tend to want to have children around thier time and not ours, yet we are the ones carrying the kid for 9 months!  

A few days ago I thought I was pregnanat since I accidently forgot to take a pill,  but I got my period over the weekend so sadly I wasn't. Just this morning, we were having a talk. I told him I did not want to take my pills anymore, and wanted it to happen whenever it did. He was glad I was honest but said he wanted to wait till next year to stop being careful....

Why do they keep us waiting? :( 

I want a baby to but my husband don't

So glad to know that I am not the only 21 year old  that wants a baby. My SO and I have been together for three years now. We got together when I was 18 and he was 26. Now I am 21 and he is 29 and he still isn't ready! He has been at the same job for 9 years and he makes very good money. I have already finished college and I have a job in my field of study. We bought a house last year. He has a nice reliable truck and we are car shopping for me right now. We have discussed having children and are both on board with the idea, but everytime I try to plan or even pick a time to start trying he just tells me to let it go. That we know we're going to have kids someday, so there is no need in bringing it up. I have two sisters that have a total of three babies, three of my close friends are pregnant, and I just found out that I am going to be a god mother for my very best friend's child. I am glad to have all of these babies to be around, but just being around other people's babies is not enough anymore. I just recently learned the difference in wanting a baby and wanting a family. I don't want to trick my SO just so I can have a baby. I want him to WANT to go down this journey with me. I want to know that he loves me enough to trust me to carry a part of him. And after the pregnancy I want him to WANT to care for, love, and nuture the child we created together as much as I do. Being raised by just my mother because my father left us when I was ten makes me feel like I am cheating my child out of a full happy life if the father isn't completely on board from the start. I need him to want this like I do.

Rant over. Wish me luck.

jdg1979....I am in almost the exact situation. Also 29, and he 32, and the wanting to buy a house, and finances, and family asking us when....I also try to think that I should leave him alone about it and that he will come around on his own...but I always wonder what if he doesnt? Im not getting any younger, and this wont get any easier. I feel that if it gets too late for use too, i will then resent him, but i feel that if we had a kid now he would resent me. I feel hopeless.

I am currently going through the same thing. I am 22, my husband is 24, we've been together for 6 years. He recently started school and has 3 more years left. I finished my first degree and am working on my second online while working full time. We're financially able to have a baby, we have steady jobs and a reliable living situation. After asking and crying to my husband about wanting a baby he finally agreed we can start trying to conceive. Not even a week has gone by and today he told me how he wants to wait. I got all excited, talked to my works HR about insurance, made an appointment to see my doctor, even started taking prenatals, and now he's telling me he wants to wait until he's done with school. I'm constantly jealous of other families with children, I just want to be a mother.
Does it get any easier?

I know this is an old post, but I would like to know the outcome. What did you do? How are things currently?

I am 26, my husband it 28 soon to be 29. We have been together for 8 years and married for 2. I have always wanted kids and we had always said we wanted to start as soon as we were married. Then things changed. It was pushed back to when he graduated/got a job/we bought a house. Well he has graduated and has a wonderful job. We working on the house thing, but as most of you said, it takes nine months to grow a little human.

I do understand why he wants to wait. He says that he wants to wait until we are stable enough to support an extra life. He wants better for our kids than what we had growing up. I get that, I really do, but I want a family. We had always talked about having 4 kids and at least 2 years apart. Unless we start soon I am going to be in my late 30s when I have the last one. I don't want to be that old. I don't even want to be 27 when I have my first but it's a little too late for that.

I hate feeling this way I really do, but I can't shake it. I talked to my husband about this, but he just says that it will happen when it happens.

Help Ladies!!!

My husband is the same way. There are many times I feel like I might die before he says he is reasy so I have stopped trying and only. Let him tell me when his mood is right

Wow
This is what my heart and soul is aching about as well... My husband already has three kids from a previous marriage .... And my heart breaks every time I get very close them because I love them so much , and then they get ripped away from me.. Because ultimately I have no say.. Their mom is still involved and I am crushed ... She can take them away physically in an instant and also emotionally... She tells them to not treat me like mom .. Because they only have one... I have always wanted children , ever since I was a child myself , just some one who is apart of me , my body and soul , my beautiful little life creation ! Someone who loves me like none other... My baby.... I am young as well I'm 21... And everyone including my husband says we have time... I feel like he just doesn't understand me , because he has children already , so he is not in any hurry ...........But my heart is breaking more and more everyday... I can't imagine not having a baby (my own baby) in my life ... I feel like I'm drowning .... I found so much comfort in finding someone who I could talk to and possible even cry with.. As this torment drags on...
Broken heart, broken soul... It's all I've ever wanted ... In my previous relationship before our marriage I became pregnant.... But lost the baby after 4months.... My whole being was crushed ... Sometimes I just cry and beg for my child to be here... I don't know how to cope with not being able to bring a child into this world... I've been battling my own thoughts and feelings that have been driving me insane and leaving me depressed... I know that God will be able to get me through this and it's only Him who can give me true peace... But it's so comforting to confide in someone who is going through the same situation ... Every aspect may not be the same, but the underlying problem is ... Wanting a baby when they don't ...

Weeping out loud