Wanted to make a point from male view point here. There is a huge difference, psychologically, between intercourse and masturbation. Masturbation is self satisfaction. It is pleasure without obligation. Intercourse is something that people don't (or at least shouldn't) do when they are angry or upset with each other. Men know that many (most?) women use access to intercourse to control things in a relationship. This is at least one reason why men masturbate: they don't need your permission, ladies. They just want to feel good physically.
This is not to say that some guys don't have problems with masturbation. Some certainly do. And any guy who would (always or almost always) rather masturbate than have intercourse with a good looking wife has a problem in my opinion. But as has been suggested in other posts, you need to be honest with yourself: look in a mirror. My wife is about 100 pounds overweight (no exaggeration, honest), and has experienced early menopause. I am posting anonymously because I would not want to embarrass her, but compared to when we were married 20 years ago, looking at her naked is a very definite turn off. I know I am 20 years older, too, and nothing to crow about, but at least I am not 100 pounds overweight.
I found this thread because she nearly caught me masturbating yesterday. I was curious if other husbands were caught, as well. But I posted this because I don't think these points have been made previously. I hope this helps somebody out there.
This is not to say that some guys don't have problems with masturbation. Some certainly do. And any guy who would (always or almost always) rather masturbate than have intercourse with a good looking wife has a problem in my opinion. But as has been suggested in other posts, you need to be honest with yourself: look in a mirror. My wife is about 100 pounds overweight (no exaggeration, honest), and has experienced early menopause. I am posting anonymously because I would not want to embarrass her, but compared to when we were married 20 years ago, looking at her naked is a very definite turn off. I know I am 20 years older, too, and nothing to crow about, but at least I am not 100 pounds overweight.
I found this thread because she nearly caught me masturbating yesterday. I was curious if other husbands were caught, as well. But I posted this because I don't think these points have been made previously. I hope this helps somebody out there.
I wanted to make a point or two from male view point here. There is a huge difference, psychologically, between intercourse and masturbation. Masturbation is self satisfaction. It is pleasure without obligation. Intercourse is something that people don't (or at least shouldn't) do when they are angry or upset with each other. Men know that many (most?) women use access to intercourse to control things in a relationship. This is at least one reason why men masturbate: they don't need your permission, ladies. They just want to feel good physically.
This is not to say that some guys don't have problems with masturbation. Some certainly do. And any guy who would (always or almost always) rather masturbate than have intercourse with a good looking wife has a problem in my opinion. But as has been suggested in other posts, you need to be honest with yourself: look in a mirror. My wife is about 100 pounds overweight (no exaggeration, honest), and has experienced early menopause. I am posting anonymously because I would not want to embarrass her, but compared to when we were married 20 years ago, looking at her naked is a very definite turn off. I know I am 20 years older, too, and nothing to crow about, but at least I am not 100 pounds overweight.
I found this thread because she nearly caught me masturbating yesterday. I was curious if other husbands were caught, as well. But I posted this because I don't think these points have been made previously. I hope this helps somebody out there.
This is not to say that some guys don't have problems with masturbation. Some certainly do. And any guy who would (always or almost always) rather masturbate than have intercourse with a good looking wife has a problem in my opinion. But as has been suggested in other posts, you need to be honest with yourself: look in a mirror. My wife is about 100 pounds overweight (no exaggeration, honest), and has experienced early menopause. I am posting anonymously because I would not want to embarrass her, but compared to when we were married 20 years ago, looking at her naked is a very definite turn off. I know I am 20 years older, too, and nothing to crow about, but at least I am not 100 pounds overweight.
I found this thread because she nearly caught me masturbating yesterday. I was curious if other husbands were caught, as well. But I posted this because I don't think these points have been made previously. I hope this helps somebody out there.
My boyfriend prefers to be jerked off or given head over having sex with me. He says it's because I am so good at it, but I think he is lying.
It can't possibly tire him because I am on top 110% of the time. He is over weight and has to be on the bottom. I am a good looking girl and I think I look sexy on top, and he always cums, so I don't understand why he wouldn't rather do that. He constantly asks for hear or hand jobs and it is so annoying and insulting. I even told him if he would have sex with me at least once a day, I'd give him head every day! He turns me down all the time and I just don't get it. We maybe have sex 2-3 times a week, sometimes we even skip a week. He always says he is too tired, but too tired to just lay there?? It's weird. Anyways, I think he masturbates and lies about it. I've asked him and he always denies it but I have found porn on his web history and he says he just looks at it. Why would he just look at it and not jerk off? I wouldn't care if he masturbated as long as he had sex with me when I needed it too. I'm tired of being turned down all the time. Any advice? I want him to stop masturbating and start wanting me more. . . and maybe get him to try some new sexual positions. Is it something I am doing wrong?
It can't possibly tire him because I am on top 110% of the time. He is over weight and has to be on the bottom. I am a good looking girl and I think I look sexy on top, and he always cums, so I don't understand why he wouldn't rather do that. He constantly asks for hear or hand jobs and it is so annoying and insulting. I even told him if he would have sex with me at least once a day, I'd give him head every day! He turns me down all the time and I just don't get it. We maybe have sex 2-3 times a week, sometimes we even skip a week. He always says he is too tired, but too tired to just lay there?? It's weird. Anyways, I think he masturbates and lies about it. I've asked him and he always denies it but I have found porn on his web history and he says he just looks at it. Why would he just look at it and not jerk off? I wouldn't care if he masturbated as long as he had sex with me when I needed it too. I'm tired of being turned down all the time. Any advice? I want him to stop masturbating and start wanting me more. . . and maybe get him to try some new sexual positions. Is it something I am doing wrong?
I do not consider any of the womens comments on here unreasonable. I have had the same issue. My boyfriend and I had an amazing sex life right up until I hit about 6 months preggo. Then I don't think either of us had the time nor energy to do it daily like before which I understood. Then there were a few times I wanted it BAD! I came home form work "He was in between his job and going to school so he was home all day" and I tried to get him going. He told me he was too sore from &%#$%&@ himself all day! I was appauled but didn't know what to say spur of the moment. I mean he was honest but holy c**p c'mon. So I eventually passed it off as something that would stop once I wasn't a huge whale anymore.. Well now I have a beautiful 2 and a half month old baby boy. I lost all the weight and have bigger boobs now to top it off. We've had sex 3 times! I got it more when I was preggo. So now while feeling hurt, ugly, unloved I don't know what to do. After the last time we had sex he didn't say anything other then it was the second time of him getting off that day cause he did it in the shower earlier. Now everytime he's in the shower I can almost pictue it. I try to initiate something and he acts likeI'm just looking for a quick kiss or something. I KNOW he has an incredble sex drive but I had never heard of a man preferring his hand over his wife. Seems men are selfish in this department. All I know is if I don't do something soon it's going to eat me alive until I feel completely worthless. Then what? I love him to death and i know he love me and the little one but this is some seriously emotionally crippling s**t! Nothing I'v read so far has made me feel any better. Some kind of advice is definately needed.
I can completely relate to your post. I've been with my husband for 14 years, and his secret sex life seems to be priority in his life. It is definitely a progressive illness. What started as porn, then online chat rooms, then online video chat rooms, then interactive innocent games online (I swear only he could make these games perverted & figure out how to chat with the players in Farmville the way he likes to. Now he seems to be spending lots of time, emotion, and energy Facebook surfing looking for women who might have a "show me yours and I'll show you mine" conversation with. When he is in these mental affairs with the people, he seems on top of the world here at home. He is more energetic, generally seems more interested in sex, mood is lifted some, he appears to work extra hard (especially having to come in to work on the weekends). Every time I find out about him continuing to have these cyber affairs, he always 100% denies it to the end. He will cover his rear at all costs. He has started to become more and more resentful and even agitated if I bring it up. It is so sad and frustrating. We could have a nearly perfect marriage, but he won't let go of this addiction.
Start masturbating yourself and let him catch you then see how he feels about it
yes , i have the same problem . i have been married 8 years he always masturbate. i found him so many times. and he always said he wil not do it. but i do not believe him. usually i want sex he said he is tired and them he masturbate it is a problem . he is 18 years older than i. i have to kids . one is 8 months old and the other 3 years, He made me u[psep today , i found him masturbandose in the kitchen, my douther 3 years old he was in the living room. i told him what you do not go to the bathroom. he said he didnot think. i found pictures in the computer with woman and porno videos. What i can do? divorce him. help please thanks
I feel bad because everytime i'm away out with our son or doing chores i come home and find the same freshly sticky towel? we have onlt been married a year. should i consider a divorce since he is always making time for jerking off but not me anymore? I am very upset and depressed. i tried to talk to him. he lied. I told him i found the towel and he keeps on defense mode...it wasnt today... I dont f*****g care it wasnt today. it was recent and i keep finding the god damb towel in the hamper stuck together with stickies...the only thing he bothers throwing in the hamper
I just had a BB 7 months ago...but yous is like 6-7 yrs ild now lol...And Im pregnant again. And what i don't understand is why this man wants to have 3 more kids when he cant even be with me when I'm pregnant. I feel like $&@t when he rathers "takes care of him self" than be with me...when his the one that wants kids and I don't. I have to put my body trough hell and then been rejected. I also feel mind cheated..I know he is obviously not thinking of ke when he is doing it...he is probably thinking of some young hot piece of a$$ he saw that day..I'm the one wasting my body away...grr i get so angry thinking how much i have to give and how much $@&t i get back..i Love my 3 kids..but what when he finds some young good locking girl...I'm gonna be left with a body full of stretch marks and a lot of kids..and him...living the life...anyways..if he masturbates now..what is gonna happen in the future?
i agree i also found my partner in the bathroom im 9 months pregnant he used to do it when we first met then he stoped i guess cuz he had me but just resently catched him in the act i felt bad ..i asked myself why didnt he looked for me?...it is difficult for us women specially moms to see our partners preferring a hand job rather than being intimate, i also agree that some moms me included let go and dont look the same no more so this is something i will work on..for i want him to desire me..if he watches porn i want him to want to watch me do porn with him instead of other people..i want to please him ive always loved satisfying him.
you should never ever live with a man who hits you...why dont you hit him back?? i know cuz you love him so then he does not love you for he hits you..think of your happiness first..this is something very hard to deal with but not impossible..you can be loved you have a right to, there is still hope but you have to work on it.
yes it hurts im dealing with it myself..im 9 month pregnant and just catched him in the act this mornign felt really bad about myself do not know how to react
pumping is common... question is wrong... go and suck his penis it may help u...
I admit he lied to you and thats not right ! How about masterbating together you watch him and he watchs you. Or maybe you can masterbate each other.
I hope you do not mean hit as in physically hurting you. If that is the case you need to get rid as soon as possible. If you mean some other terminology I don't understand then you should at least be sharing your sexual desires, otherwise to me he sounds like a secret pervert (sorry to have to say that) I hope everything works out for you, love, light and blessings.