Divorce because of husband's computer games addiction

Hi I am sorry for the pain your spouses addiction is causing. I to can relate as my husband and I just went threw this. Like a drug it gradually changes the brain chemistry and requires more and more to achieve the high one gets. It is a diabolical marriage family and home wreaker. My husband's gaming escalated to an online affair with a fellow gamer and he had secret email and Facebook accounts to talk to her. I exploded and nose dived as I was totally deviated upon learning of this betrayal. My husband had to immediately choose between his family or game. Cold turkey he quit and we began to rebuild our marriage and heal. I pray for the healing of you, your husband and family. 

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My wife is addicted to GOW. At first I played with her but the game sucks and is just a money pit. She called it her escape but she's been having inappropriate convos with men on the Line app. I found naked photos of her on her phone which she claimed was so she could see herself.. Lies. She spent a few days in a hotel playing and even got a sex toy sent from one of these losers. She left her family (me and 2 boys) four weeks ago and has been laying around and playing at her moms. Didn't even see or care to see her own kids on Mother's Day. Pathetic.

I hear ya.  We have an almost 3 yr old and husband was away for 3 days and there was absolutely no difference to our daily routine - except that I had less dishes/laundry. I did have to remind him to spend time with our daughter as when he arrived home from his trip, daughter had just come home sick from daycare.  He went straight onto the computer rather than a hug for his wife and a bit of time with his daughter.  Our situation is not really marriage, it's more a flatmate/room-mate situation, only we share a gorgeous and such a wanted IVF daughter.  No conversation, no intimacy, no shared activities.  When her dad was away, Daughter didn't even ask where her dad was, which is the worst part.  Husband gets out of bed just before I have to head off to work at 630am, then he is online (works from home) when I get home with Daughter at 430pm - might have half an hour off the computer then he's back on till 1-3am.  And then I'm up at 5am so we are like ships passing in the night.  I also do all the yard work, mow the lawns, cooking, cleaning, grocery shopping, gardening & house maintenance.  Talking to husband has not helped..even asked my doctor to try help us but husband not interested - actually, denies that there is a problem.  

I wish I could say things are better. No communication and has seen kids for just 10 hours in last 25 days the last of which was 10 days ago and even then she left them with her mom so she could go baby sit her sisters kids and try to get $10.... Her mom is aiding her and her dad is too busy/stressed to do anything like talk. Obviously I'd like her back but more so even for the kids right now. I'm afraid it's not gonna get any better after all she needs to want help...

My heart goes to you as I am currently going through the same thing. And I don't have the courage to leave As I wouldn't know where to start. What's worst is now we have a 2 month old baby. This is not how I pictured our lives together. It is really sad and I hope all is well seen as this was written over a year ago.

I feel for you ladies. Finally getting divorced from electronics addicted husband. I couldn't gather the courage alone after having fantasized to divorce him for a long time. I gave myself permission to have affair - now he feels so hurt and offended that he wants divorce - great. He puts such great face in front of everyone - he works good job, plays tennis with friends, spends time w kids. Everyone loves him. I'll take the brunt of the split - even my parents stand behind him. No one asks me about the years of loneliness, going to bed alone every night, being isolated since we live in a place where he has friends and my family is all in another country. Every time I'd get closer to a friend or family member, he'd find reasons to fight a push them away. Isolation, neglect, boredom. Good riddens.

Did your situation get any better? We sound very similar

Amen!!!! Perfectly said!!!

You obviously no nothing about this situation. My husband has abandoned all affection toward me. He has even put his hands on me, to remove me from the room when I asked him to please stop playing. I am told "leave". We have been married 14 years. My heart is broken, he is angry, short tempered, all consumed with Dota2. He has always played games D&D, then WOW, Runescape,and one that was just typing without any animation, but through them all his time was managed. Dora2 is not like those, it has destroyed our marriage, we are currently living apart.

Hi. We been together for 15 years married for 5 years. Im 30 hes 34. Im dying here. He works in morning come home sleep then hes up and plays on pc for hours. When hes on hoilday from work he plays morning till morning. I want to talk to him he gets frustrated coz im distrating him from his game. Our children want his attention he will shout coz again they r distrating him. Our disabled son will get hurt or ill. We get no sympathy. Im over reacting but our son nearly died. He took 4 days of work when our son was in hospital where was he at home playing. Complained when I asked if he can come up. We dont spend any time together he doesn't like going out. He doesnt talk to me so what the point being together.

My husband was also communicating with women online. When he finally got clear of Evony he admitted that these women were easy to get game resources from. I don't know if this will provide comfort or not but from the women I've seen they are the types who can never get attention from men in real life. They have their routine down online but if you look at their Facebook pages they are the ones who men never invest themselves in. My husband was talking with one who even flew from Singapore to Australia for sex and romance, after that the guy had zero interest. When this verpi started texting my husband's phone he caught on to the joke and gave up Evony completely. I wish you the best of luck. One suggestion, if all else fails it doesn't hurt to let everyone on the chick's friends page know exactly the type of harm she has done.

My husband is now off games but we had a nonexistent sex life while he was on them. He has admitted to me that he was hiding a lack of ability. Now that he is off games things are back to working well. Games took everything from him, career, sex, respect, and almost me. I've done a bit of research, it has something to do with neurotransmitters and chemical burn out. I made it clear that I still wanted sex with him and it took about a month but things came back into order. Now I'm still dealing with the emotional consequences of what his addiction put me through.

I am so glad that a gamer has mentioned that relationships are such an important factor in keeping someone addicted to a game. That is why, we spouses, should use everyting in our control to cut the strings to those relationships. We can confront their gaming partners. Since they are probably also addicted sometimes it helps to write to everyone in their circles of friends and family to let them know what pain this person has caused in your life. It also works to let the employers of gamers to know what they have been up to during work hours. Your spouse will feel the pain of his or her new family. Mine was blocked by them, they don't want anything to do with him anymore. These people took pride in playing war games and I taught them what someone who has a degree in running real campaigns can do. They received a lesson in real game theory. The playground is closed.

Hi, I originally came to this forum because of something my gf said to me. We are in a long-distance relationship for about 5 months now, and itll be another 13 months before we are together again, but we are both determined to make it work. I am a gamer, and she knows this, but one day we were talking and she mentioned "horror stories about marriages failing because of video games." I was so confused at first because I didnt think it possible, but after literally r eading all 19 pages of this post, I have realized how common it is. I like video games, I love my gf, but I am so so so scared that one day I will not realize how much time it is eating up and she will just leave me. Does anyone have advice on preempting the problem of ruining a marriage due to gaming?

Game of War is nothing but trouble. It's addictive and just as bad as dope. You're living with a drug addict whether he realizes it if not. Best thing to do is smash the phone the first chance you get and any other devices this game can be played on. This game claims to be free and entices children to play it. It involves executions and constant killing. The community chat is wrought with nothing but perverts. It teaches children nasty language and how to ring up their parents credit card by flat out lying to these kids and claiming it's free virtual gold. But if they hit that free button, guess what happens? The game is not a game but a social place where crazy people dwell. If you can't smash the phone, throw him out. He'll wake up when the collection agencies pull him out of bed.