Hi there. I completely understand your feelings. I am also from different country. I got married 10 years ago, have 2 children with him. He played WOW the day one I met him not knowing how addicted he is. I confronted him, kept telling him that I am raising his son alone, how he never helps with anything, stays up late, etc. He stopped for 3 month and then he started to play a different video game. In 2 years in marriage I got pregnant again and when our second child was born I realized that I am doing everything alone. He would just sit in front of the monitor, talking to other people online while I took care of everything else. If I had a question about something he would just snap at me. When I confronted him again I realized he also has a porn addiction which explained the lack of intimacy. I felt so lonely, angry and confused and told him I want to have a divorce .Then he stopped and then hw started again. It has been 10 years now and we have the same fights over the stupid video games. My kids are sitting there with him while I do all the chores. They are like walking zombies and all they want to do is play game. I feel like I lost my kids. I cant connect with them unless I talk to them about the games. I cry a lot and wonder what life would I have If I met someone without addiction. I wish I'm strong enough to leave him.
My husband and I have been married for ten years. During our dating years he would play video games very casually and I would play with him. After we got married, he started playing WoW and it started to take time away from me, from his schooling, his ability to hold a steady job, and his church responsibilities. I shared my concerns with him time and time again to the point where I just became a "nag" and he would just get angry and belittle me for sharing my feelings. Yet, a part of me was curious. What was so fascinating about this game? So I tried it one day. He said, "It'll be fun. Well play together." What followed was about three years of MMORPG gaming, forming friendships online with people I would spend more time with than my actual "real life" friends or family. We were both addicted. It consumed by very being and all of my thoughts. The game is like a thrill ride and triggers the reward centers of the brain so every level up, item earned, boss killed, is a rush. And, you have comraderie with your friends. Midway in my gaming addiction, but husband joined the military and I was trying to finish school. What a miracle for me to finish despite all the times I battled internally with my addiction to play and my true desire to finish school. Addictions bind you and captivate your ability to think logically. While my husband was in the military, it surprisingly wasn't difficult for me to take a break from gaming. He actually wrote to me in boot camp that he would give up gaming if it came in between us. I was thrilled and ready to give it up completely too. Little did I know that would be one of many broken promises of the like.
Our first military station and me finishing school took us back to a normal routine and we started gaming again. In fact he would get upset with my gaming but when you're in the middle of the game, that's the priority, unfortunately. A year after that I quit playing MMORPGs completely. I had an awakening so to speak of how much of my life was being wasted. This was 7 years ago. After I quit, feelings best described as withdrawals crept up and I yearned to play and I found it difficult to find something else to fill my time. But, I persevered and have stopped obsessive gaming. If I play, it's usually with family or real life friends. I do have a weakness for Zelda and I did play that. But those are different. Zelda ends. WoW (and other MMORPGS) are an endless grind to a never ending finish. There is no done in those games. And not only do you play the game, but you have to earn gold, do crafts, pay for repairs on your gear which leads to endless hours of farming and grinding and playing all the fill the needs of a fictional character.
So, here I am today. Because, I quit but my husband hasn't. And it's been depressing, heartbreaking, and disappointing. Many broken promises, many hopes crushed. Many times he would quit, and I was ecstatic. Only to see him justify his return to playing. "It's just a hobby." "Why do you criticize the things I like." "Why are you so insecure you need me to alway be with you?" Many late nights of gaming has been a major contributor to the fact that he hasn't been able to hold a job and hasn't completely school yet. It breaks my heart, and hurts. And, when I try to empathize with him because I was once him, he gets defensive and is literally living in denial. I cannot begin to tell you the number of times he has said, "I'm coming to bed now to be with you" and never shows up. And the real kicker is when he complains I don't want to have sex when he is so blind to see he doesn't make time for it. I have finally reached a point where I think I'm just numb to it all. Any chance of him changing isn't trustable. Last year he quit. Again. I wanted to be supportive. And outwardly I was, but deep down I didn't trust. And, he started again two months later. He is a loving, wonderful man who is being smothered by his worst self. He can be so loving and patient but turns into and angry evil monster when you catch him during a battle, especially if he is losing.
My dear husband. Why can't you see your inner potential. Why can't you see how much stronger our marriage would be and how much more successful you'd be if you'd give up the one thing that is hindering your progression. Is it worth it? But, ironically, I think deep down he agrees with me. He's not stupid. Then why won't he stop? It's exhausting, for both of us, mentally and emotionally. Life with out video gaming addiction would be absolute bliss. I know it because I've experienced it. It's freeing.
Yes that can happen. I've seen it happen in game chat and a program our guild used to communicate verbally. I used to game. I don't anymore because I woke up and got a life. Can't say the same for my husband yet. Yet. Looks like I still have hope. Sigh...
My heart absolutely breaks reading this. I have a 7 month old son and my husband has been playing his stupid games my sons whole short life. I smashed it! I jerked it out of the wall after I was holding our boy and he told me he wasn't getting off the system. I gentle set my darling boy down and I ripped that f'cker right out of there and I threw it in the yard, smiled, and handed the baby to his daddy. I told him a dead beat dad won't live under my roof and he's going to be a daddy now.
Our marriage has significantly improved. I actually see them play together instead of hearing my son cry and coming down stairs from my shower and seeing my husband sucked into his game. He had a porn addiction when I was pregnant so I just freaking lost it and went nuts on his stupid a__. Worked like a charm. I won't suggest it but if you're on your damn wits end like I was, it couldn't hurt!