Divorce because of husband's computer games addiction

So glad I found this thread. My partner of 20 years discovered gaming in last three. It's an addiction. He says at least he not at pub drinking or gambling. Actually I wish he was one of them as then I could justify leaving him. On days off work he'll play from 9pm till 3am. He do the obligatory sit and watch tv for half hour then plays world of tanks. I told him tonight we have a disfuntional relationship and that it's like living with a flatmate. No In face a foreign border I said cos you can't even speak to me. When I tell my friends of his gaming they just laugh it off. I feel I have no support. I truly believe I would be happier single. My friend works with 20 year olds, one of the chicks was moaning how her boyfriend games all the time and doesn't want to go out. My friends advice was to 'go out on your own then'. I told my friend, to tell those young girls at work to dump their gamer boyfriends. Harsh but true I reckon. I type this and I can hear him on next room laughing and joking on his gaming. Almost like whatever I say doesn't matter. Actions do speak louder than words I reckon.

I just wanted to say well done for leaving him in the dust. I'm in the process of doing it and it should be easy we don't even have kids just a boring 20 year relationship last three years a gamer. I came through breast cancer two years ago and did chemo and radiation and I think life is due livibg why am I putting up with this c**p

I originally posted to this thread 3 years ago. My husband began playing Game of War. For the first year- it was an absolute nightmare. We fought about it constantly and my stress level was at its max because I over analyzed the situation and hated how much this game had saturated my love life and my family life. We were constantly broke. Money was disappearing, he was maxing out credit cards ($5,000) to play this game, he was more interested in bonding with gamer friends than bonding with his wife or kids. I contemplated divorce on a daily basis. I reached an all time low at the 1 year anniversary of him playing the game, where I contemplated suicide. This game was nearly ruining my life. The following year, I chose to ignore his addiction. It was not easy, but I spent more time with friends, invested in new hobbies for myself, spent more time with my kids. Really shifted the focus onto MYSELF- making MYSELF happy and not relying on my husband to make me happy. We still had occasional fights about his gaming, when the phone would be dinging at all hours of the night, but he respected me enough to at least not play it after hours, in bed, or in excess around our kids. The 3rd year of his addiction, he finally began to realize that he was wasting so much time and money on a fantasy world, fake friendships and needed to focus on ME and our family. One day out of nowhere, he sits down next to me and shows me as he deactivates his 7 accounts for this game (yes, I said 7.) This was just a few weeks ago. Since then, he has really began to shift his focus without being hounded to do so. Finally, I am beginning to get my husband back. This tactic may not work for every situation and boy ohh boy does it require a lot of patience on your part, but outside of stepping out on my husband, I chose to focus on MYSELF and less on him. Deep down, I knew that I needed to just let this phase pass on HIS time and at HIS hand. Better or for worse, I spoke 4 years ago. That being said- if you're not married, have no children together- don't settle if you feel like you deserve more.

MY husband of 20 years addicted to world of tanks. I remember I used to kiss him goodnight (while he at game with headphones on) after a couple of times of him putting his hand up (so not to interrupt him) I thought duck you. So now I go to bed each night without even saying good night to him. Why would I when I just get a resentful turn of the cheek. His behaviour changes my behaviour. Hate my life with him

That's a lovely update. Glad you've got your husband back.

This sounds like my current situation. My husband is up till 3-4 am mostly every night gaming. I'm considering leaving myself. We've talked so many time about it and he just says I'm jealous of the game! Did you end up leaving?

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LINE app is just another social media app like WhatsApp and so on. But yes LINE is used outside game of war connect to players on there. And though it might be true that there are online romances and what not, having line and gow doesn't always equate to an online romantic interest. I used to play the game and I can say all the contacts I have on LINE are just friends. LINE is just a tool, it's up to the user how they use it.

This lost is so desperate I had to respond. My husband is addicted to gaming and he and I have been through the hardest part of our marriage so far. I have done everything to get him to stop. You cannot make him quit. But what you can do is draw him to you. And I don't mean just by your looks. The more you back off keep on living do things separately and keep your boundaries without screaming and yelling the better it gets. He will realize something is wrong something needs changing. The more I stopped enabling and making it uncomfortable the more my husband woke up. Still going through this and yes it's hard but please don't give up!

I am in the same dilemma. All my husband can do is play games and not much else. He has not bothered with his promised studies, prefers to tablet our child rather than parent and I am left to hold the fort (and pay the bills). After 8 years of it getting worse, I have had it. Need to save some money to get the house registered in my name and then I will start the process of getting a divorce. I am sick of being put behind Diablo 3. He has had enough chances and every time I speak to him on this he has a mantrum.

As a former addict I can say it's a really awful addiction. But the hardest part is stepping away from it all when you have spent so much money into your game and then it feels like an investment. I am glad you were able to get through it and I hope you can support him as he makes those changes. it's not easy to step away from it all and it's very rare that you can actually just toss it all aside. I hope you can do it and wishing you good luck :)

Hello everyone

Glad I found this thread. I myself WAS a fellow GOW player for 2 and a half years straight and boy I have to say quitting was the best thing. Believe it or not during those 2.5yrs I logged in this app each day. There was always a 'prize' for you to get every 4 hrs for logging in but this prize didn't really do anything, all it was designed to to was to keep you hooked and made it felt as if you had to get this. I'd work and when weekends come it was usually going to the liquor store to buy rum and monsters for the 'kingdom vs kingdom events, coliseum events or the king of fire events which consist of the best of the best fighting in the center of a lagging map. Pathetic. I've started off spending no money but in order to be 'powerful' you need to spend or you're considered a 'no one' or a weak empire. It's like high school online. The spenders, who eventually become narcissistic are the jocks and non spenders are the nerds. It's crazy, I wanted to become a 'jock' of the game and after thousands of dollars became this. What is even worse is in order to keep this status one needs to spend regularly to get the latest cores and stronghold upgrades for the last level or core sets were now obsolete. It was bad, everything got in the way, work, friends, women and even family. I didn't even care to eat a good meal, only wanted to eat to sustain the empty stomach and log back in.

I've eventually quit this addiction going on 5 months now and it feels like a relief. Though I've met some amazing people throughout the world from the alliance I had to do what was good for me. The eye opener was I wasn't doing anything for my business I started and being upset for any little thing that distracted me from the game. It wasn't right and for you spouses that deal with this I truly empthize with you. Please if you see this show this to them as proof that I know how they feel and that THEY have to ultimately find it in their hearts to quit. I guarantee that most who play GOW want to quit but feel they have given so much of their time, money, and just feel comitted to not fail their alliance that this it's not even a considerable option but from experience it is.

RIP for my ex gamer tag Spockofborg, kingdom Roxana 416, Borghive alliance

If your man don't cheat on you or beat on you you're a lucky lady, You will find guys Fish to much, Hunt to much, Ride Motorcycles to much, Drink to much, Smoke to much, golf to much, race to much, play video games to much, its what men do. Having survived an abusive relationship and having to move after my second husband who was a police officer had sixteen affairs in a town of 700 I would love to find a gamer at least I would know he only beats up virtual people and I would always know where his penis was at.

I have the same problem with my husband. We have a 2 year old. The worst part of all of ot besides the lonliness, is the noise. It keeps us up. I dont lnow what happened to him. Im so sad.